The puppy swallows a button.
You get snowed in with no electricity.
Your child is sick and you have to miss work.
Someone asks for money.
You are called for jury duty............and so on and so on.

How do you cope with the unexpected?
It is almost second nature for me!

SURPRISE!

It takes a certain amount of confidence as well as talent to be able to rise to the ocassion when handling whatever life throws your way.

Are you able to do it with finesse and grace?
I don't know how graceful I am. In fact I often have to ask for grace.
My mother posesses much grace and I have tried to learn the talent of coping from her.

Hey...if we could handle everything that came our way, Nirvana would not be the name of a grunge band, now would it? Hee hee :D

How do you handle the unexpected?


~gourmet~

I am what my husband calls a bouncer. When a problem arises I simply hit it head on if I can't move or work my way around it I'll bounce over it.

Getting snowed in with no electricity is actually fun with the right people. We use our gas heater to cook soup, have plenty of flashlights and sleeping bags, we curl up on the floor with our soup, snacks, and tell ghost stories or play games. Its really like no other day except you have to squint to see and wear more clothes.

My kids come first so if my boss doesn't like me calling in when their sick then I do offer to bring them to work with me. Generally, there isn't much of a fight lol

It depends on who is asking. I never let anyone know I have money so they don't usually ask. I've loaned my sister money but she's loaned us money too, I do keep $10 in my glove box for emergencies and am known to hand that out to people with those "will work for food" signs.

Its life just keep moving forward eventually you'll make it thru.

I'm at my best with life's little surprises.
Thats when my mind really starts working.
Theres a solution to every problem thats the way I think.
I stay calm and do what I need to do.

Futs, making the most out of an uncomfortable situation is wonderfully graceful way to handle the unexpected! I didn't do quite as well as you when we were out of power for 10 days in the south....24" of snow! We-no-clue-what-to-do! By day five I was so sick of poker and smoke! We ate pretty high on the hog because my husband cooked all of the meat in our freezer. I stayed under a blanket with a flashlight reading most of the time, so all was not lost.

Stori, you are the girl with the gift when it comes to problem solving and for that I am very grateful :) And you do it with the grace of a princess, friend.
~gourmet~

Now see 10 days would get on my nerves too. I've only gone 2 days without power due to a blizzard. But, I'm always prepared for it to happen and we generally go to my sister's with everything we got food and game wise my entire family lives within a 2 block radius of her house we camp, talk, joke, tell our kids about the old days and there is a lot of complaining when we have to go home but 10 days? I think I'd chance freezing to death just to get outside for a little while lol

Thank You Gourmet for your kindness hugs :) girlfriend

"I am what my husband calls a bouncer. When a problem arises I simply hit it head on if I can't move or work my way around it I'll bounce over it."~nucking futs
-------------------------------------------------------

When I read this all I could think of was the big guy standing outside of the nightclub waiting for a "problem to arise"! :D That would solve some problems for sure!

lol I'm afraid the last week I've been a lay down and hide type person. I can't seem to get my feet under me but I will get my feet back under me and attack every problem head on again its a repeating cycle that seems attached to my PTSD get that under control and I get my life back under control.

If there isn't a little drama every now and then how are you supposed to appreciate the calm and collected, beautiful days?

Awww:( Lay down and hide, take a bubble bath, lock the doors.......hey those are perfectly necessary ways to handle the unexpected. When the going gets tough a nap is the best weapon I have!

hugs and kisses <3

~gourmet~

ADD people enjoy surprises because they are interesting and thus they are able to increase their focus. However if the new situation is over stimulating it can have the reverse affect. If for example the person was put on a new bus route to a new friends house, they would have thoughts bombarding them on every new aspect of the experience i.e. the bus route, the friend, the conversation with the friend etc... They will have an uneasy feeling as a result.

This is why a person with ADD tend to have the same food over and over or take the same bus route (despite being informed of a quicker one). Its not because their blindly loyal, its because they dont want to be bombarded with thought about all of the new aspects of the new experience.

Hugh

I love surpises, I do tend to feed off of them and people are amazed that I can be so calm about things like the power going out or what not...geez...I'm so glad I got this site info cause I didn't realize this was an important thing...Now my brain is clicking on yet another great thing about ME...yay!!

But like Hugh said:

This is why a person with ADD tend to have the same food over and over or take the same bus route (despite being informed of a quicker one). Its not because their blindly loyal, its because they dont want to be bombarded with thought about all of the new aspects of the new experience.

I have to be careful what new things I do or else I tend to freak out and want to curl up and hide out till the thoughts stop racing around in my mind.

When "stuff" hits the fan I turn into Mr. Incredible. Bleeding kids...car accidents.....and all of those little surprises that life seems to offer up just to test your will to remain human.

One thing that has helped me be mentally prepared is if I ever feel the slightest doubt in confidence I tell myself "whatever happens, I'll handle it!"

If you tell yourself this a few thousand times it helps out.

Flygurl thanks for responding to me. God I feel like I put some thought full comments up in this site and noone hears sigh.

"This is why a person with ADD tend to have the same food over and over or take the same bus route (despite being informed of a quicker one). Its not because their blindly loyal, its because they dont want to be bombarded with thought about all of the new aspects of the new experience." ~quote hugh:)

Maybe this is why I listen to the same cds over and over again. Once I am familiar and learn all the lyrics, I can move on to add a new one. All this time I thought I was blindly loyal :) Maybe we just know a good thing when it comes along and don't want to let it go.


"Now my brain is clicking on yet another great thing about ME...yay!!"~quote flygurl

Ain't it great, flygurl?


~"Mr. Incredible", thank you for sharing your ability to "step up to the plate" in the face of emergency situations. They test our courage beyond human limits sometimes. It would be nice if we could all have your gift. :)

~gourmet~

I *hate* surprises, even when they are good ones, even when I know it's going to be something good. I get all discombobulated. I am most comfortable when I know what is going to happen next because then I can anticipate my own role.

At this point, I am still trying to develop a structure in my life (e.g. put my keys in the same place so I don't look for them for 15 minutes every day) and in my feelings (e.g. not being so reactive). I don't want any more chaos than absolutely necessary.

When the unexpected happens, sometimes I am flexible and can "roll with it" but other times, I need to take some time to readjust.

Interestingly, when the unexpected happens and it needs to be handled immediately, before I have a chance to freak out, I do fine and make good decisions. When the unexpected happens and I have time to work through things, I do fine and make good decisions.

It's the in-between that bothers me - when I have enough time to start overanalyzing and second-guessing.

Hi - I feel that there are 2 kinds of unexpected surprises: the first kind is a sort of 'fun' surprise, like being snowed-in; the second is a potentially serious kind of surprise like a house of unexpected company with people you don't know, a law-suit knocking at your place of work, being sued if your dog got loose and ran a child down being playful, etc. I enjoy the first kind, but I am thin-skinned about the second kind; I get anxious and short with people and even a little fragmented in speaking, because of a potential loss of control, potentially, an outcomes which I may not be able to effectively deal with and coupled with social awkwardness, an outcome that may get seriously worse, so I can feel overwhelmed by this sort of surprise in a short period of time with a feeling of having to overcome a huge obstacle. I get a fast pulse just discussing this sort of thing.

Bruce

Hi - I feel that there are 2 kinds of unexpected surprises:

Excellent point Bruce there are at least two different types of surprized!!!!

There are the "pleasent surprizes although I would have to say what is pleasent for one family would be unpleasent for another!!!!! Being snowed in for two days would not be in my pleasent catagory. Then there is a reason I live in Texas.

I mean I am ready to "go postal" with two days of rain because Gary, Lady Dog, and the Cat Mr. Mischief will drive me insane as their out of doors activities would be restricted. This would have all these creaters inside wanting to be out side bouncing about in here driving me NUTS!!!!


The "unpleasent surprizes" I would have to agree with you as they would produce the same effects of anxiety in me.

Then there is the "surprized party" held by friends and loved ones. Those are cool.

I have noticed some thing amoung ADD folkes in the medical profession. In a sense it would catagorized as "expected surprizes". Emergency personel would expected emergencies however the types would vary from day to day.

Then we have ADHD people like my Gary who create the unexpected surprizes daily by changing direction so many times a day it is almost impossible to get through a day with out on of his change of direction expected "surprize". That kind can get werry for me as I find it fustrating because I know it does not have to be this way. I believe he does this to create the "urgency" many unmedicated ADHDer have learned to access to simulant stimulant medications and increase there own focus. I'll cataorgize these as the "manotenous surprize". I find taking medication a much easier way of create the needed chemical changes required for focus.


I have noticed people like Gary who possess kind of like a spastic personality I have never seen him as some one I would want to have caring for me in an emergencey. Not long ago Gary and his cousin came upon a serious wreck where an elderly gentleman was seriously injuried and unconscense. My spastic beloved kicked into some sort of calm cool collect preson who was able think cognatively. He prevented other by standers from moving the injuried man was able to give coherent directions of the wrecks location to the dispatcher, as well as accurate assessment of the man injuries while getting a histroy from the man's wife who was injured but alert and afraid, to top that off he was able to call me and tell me what was happening and accurately calculated when he would arrive (he was supposed to get my mom to an airport for a flight)

Funny on a regular day he hasn't a clue how long it will take him to do his materials pick ups and return. What ever he says I double it and who knows what else he will drag home with the expected materials. More expected unexpected monotney!!!!

I find many ADHD nurses who are good but become excellent during emergencies. It is like emergenceis make everyone who is not ADHD hyper while the hyper become calmer!!!

Now what was the subject ohhh yea surprized I guess emergencies could be a type of surprize!!!!!!!

I can handle the 'unexpected'. I've had to deal with it so much...more likely from my own doing :) I either handle it, or find a way to extricate myself out of it (as in jury duty...just joshin' !)
If I don't get muddled, which doesn't happen too often, actually.. (This past year has been a doozy...) I can always think of a solution, for the unexpected irks that might pop up.
My puppy swallowed one of my red foam earplugs, once. I think about how he managed to swallow the thing, now, without it getting stuck, in his throat..but all I thought about was 'Oh my goodness...he's got blood in his poop...it scared me half to death, until I realized what it was...Dummy...!!
Nova

Nova that's cute.......Like the new pic in your avatar

'This is why a person with ADD tend to have the same food over and over or take the same bus route (despite being informed of a quicker one). Its not because their blindly loyal, its because they dont want to be bombarded with thought about all of the new aspects of the new experience." ~quote hugh:)

Maybe this is why I listen to the same cds over and over again. Once I am familiar and learn all the lyrics, I can move on to add a new one.'

Hi - I think this also relates to staying in relationships because they are 'known', even if one is abused or the relationship, for other reasons, is not healthy, it relates to being 'emotionally' adverse to starting work in a new place or moving to a new house, or being alone when you are used to people and/or the other way around; these things seem to relate to the 'emotional' ability (stability?) within social context, while a new route to work is avoided because maybe it involves new streams of data that need processing, which causes confusion, getting lost, disorientation, but which is not directly related to the same set of emotions that are 'triggered' from a social situation change, I think.
Bruce