View Full Version : Troubles in 2016 caused our brake-up. I'm still fighting for her since 5 months.

01-03-17, 06:07 PM
We were together about 2,5 years, It was a wonderful time.. We almost never argued, were strong phisycally and mentally attracted to each other, had passionate sex, and a lot of fun doing even simple, insignificant things.
The brake-up happened in July. She wanted to take the relationship to the next level by moving together. I tried to ask her for some time as I wasn't ready yet (my mom had overcome cancer in May and was not in the best shape, also had seven vertebrae broken). I also had problems in my job - hated it truly but I was stuck in the moment and couldn't overcome myself to make the step to look for something better. From March we were arguing a lot. She was very supportive, made a lot to build me up - said everything is going to be all right, belived in me that i will find a better job, said many times she loved me, and will never leave me it can come what want. But i was stuck...

Im an introvert and have my problems with showing deep emotions. During our relationship she gave me three time a warning that she begs me to change as she sometimes doesn't feel loved. Of course i promised i will change myself, but not much happened. When the time came that we wanted to talk about us there was always something in the way. And of course she was still remembering my "little" life mistakes - the biggest as she was working abroad for 9 months i didn't came once to visit her, but she did visit me several times.(Im studying on weekends, working during the week - and when there was the one oppurtunity when i had 3 days off i wanted to rest. It was wrong that i didnt take the 1100 Kilometers journey to her - blaming myself for it every day).

It came as it shouldn't come that we are living apart now. I'm fighting for us by letting her the time that she needs, I try not to make pressure on her, and we rarely see each other maybye 5 times in this 5 months. As you can imagine it's a hard time for me as im suffocating , but i don't care about myself I'm just thinking about "us".

In this time I'm really confused cause i get conflicting messages from her side. When she's sitting next to me she corrects my hair, starting to touch my ear, is showing her newest photos on her phone and explains every detail about it. Last time she admitted that she would never did this when she new that my mom was beging me to not leave her now in this sittuation.(I didnt told my love about it).

Back in time 2 months after brake-up i wanted to talk about us but we ended crying together - it was to early. The one thing I noticed is she said she is still missing me, the memory of the moments together squeezes her hearth, but she doesnt know what will come, and she didnt want to give me hope. But she was hugging me, shivering, crying and holding my hand...

On the other site is our contact. It's comming just from my side. Im the first who always calls, who's sending text messages( from her site she only did it 2-3 weeks after the brake-up). Of course she's replying to it, but sometimes im waiting 2 days, 1 day - even when i know that she has read it. When not im remniding her about me by gently asking again what i wanted to know. The difficulty is also in our meetings. As i mentioned - they are rare. We have several terms to meet but once she is saying that she forgot, or has no time to meet(but we agreed that we will set up meetings).

As you see I can not get behind what she thinks of us. I truly love her and know I made mistakes in the past. I also know that she is hurting and lost attraction on me as she didn't saw any change comming from my side. She just doesn't belive that i could change myself. It's sad for me.

I changed my job, Im working out a lot now, im reading books about relationships, im overcoming my wrong addictions, and im trying to be there for her, to show her that i always loved her, and im ready and willing to love her till the end of my days if she gives us the chance...

01-03-17, 06:34 PM
i do wish you the best of luck. people's life circumstances are different one from another. your plate was full so you could not realistically visit. Do not be hard on yourself, do stick up for yourself and you're doing all good things.