View Full Version : How can we help support distressed maternal caregivers?


mildadhd
01-07-17, 12:41 PM
How can we help support distressed maternal caregivers who take care of infants/toddlers born with more emotionally reactive/sensitive temperaments and may acquire deficits of self-regulation (aka, AD(H)D)?



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Little Missy
01-07-17, 04:23 PM
Dexedrine :)

sarahsweets
01-12-17, 01:43 PM
empathy,compassion,love,support and kindness.

Fuzzy12
01-12-17, 02:59 PM
How would you know that the infants have a more emotionally sesitive temperament?

Little Missy
01-12-17, 05:06 PM
How would you know that the infants have a more emotionally sesitive temperament?

They cry a lot and are needy.

Fuzzy12
01-12-17, 05:16 PM
They cry a lot and are needy.

Do you mean like colicky????

Fuzzling cries a fair bit...and is fairly needy *gulp*.

Little Missy
01-12-17, 05:41 PM
Do you mean like colicky????

Fuzzling cries a fair bit...and is fairly needy *gulp*.

I don't know what colicky even actually is, I've heard other mother's say it often about their babies but I thought it just was a catch-all thing, you don't know why the baby is crying about,then its 'colic,' or 'she's colicky...'

I was a crier and needy as a baby so my parents indulged me.

Then you hear, "don't spoil that baby!" How in the world can you spoil a baby? Or a puppy? Or the Budglets? I mean really, babies, puppies, budgies, whatever, how can they be spoiled? It is a baby. A puppy, some birds. I just don't go for that.

Some infants are needier than others. It is just the way it is. Every time someone has a baby its a roll of the dice.

Little Missy
01-12-17, 06:07 PM
There is nothing wrong with an infant that is emotionally sensitive as long as the parents recognize that.

And, to keep the thread on topic, whatever that may be, my mum took Dexedrine because that is how she was able to handle things better.

Fuzzy12
01-12-17, 06:30 PM
I don't know what colicky even actually is, I've heard other mother's say it often about their babies but I thought it just was a catch-all thing, you don't know why the baby is crying about,then its 'colic,' or 'she's colicky...'

I was a crier and needy as a baby so my parents indulged me.

Then you hear, "don't spoil that baby!" How in the world can you spoil a baby? Or a puppy? Or the Budglets? I mean really, babies, puppies, budgies, whatever, how can they be spoiled? It is a baby. A puppy, some birds. I just don't go for that.

Some infants are needier than others. It is just the way it is. Every time someone has a baby its a roll of the dice.

Yes that's exactly what colic is: crying for more than 3h for 3days a week for no known reason (I think the 3h and cm 3 days are just arbitrary..).

I totally agree with everything else you've said. Also apparently you can't spoil a baby. They are not developed enough to be capable of being spoilt. On the contrary if you respond to every need they will internalise that they are safe and the world is safe and a good place. It's supposed to make them more confident and secure. I'm not sure if there's an age limit for that though.

mildadhd
01-15-17, 02:24 PM
How would you know that the infants have a more emotionally sesitive temperament?

I was born with an emotionally hypersensitive temperament.

According to my adopted mother, I cried less than normal.

I never cried at all, for about the first 24 hours after my parents adopted me.

So we could be looking at two (or more) ways a hypersensitive person reacts. (Example: inattentively, and/or, hyperactively)

Let's work on your extremely important question quoted above.

I think we can put the answer to words.



794

Fuzzy12
01-15-17, 06:59 PM
I was born with an emotionally hypersensitive temperament.

According to my adopted mother, I cried less than normal.

I never cried at all, for about the first 24 hours after my parents adopted me.

So we could be looking at two (or more) ways a hypersensitive person reacts. (Example: inattentively, and/or, hyperactively)

Let's work on your extremely important question quoted above.

I think we can put the answer to words.



794

May I ask how old you were when you were adopted? Don't answer if it is too personal please.

Also how do you know you were born with a more sensitive temperament? Couldn't you have become more sensitive because of your early environment?

Do you know why you didn't cry?

From what I've read (and I'm not saying that this applies to you), babies whose caregivers don't respond quickly enough to their needs (signalled ny crying) might eventually stop crying as they learn that there is no point in crying.

Are you saying that inattentiveness and or hyperactivity are signs of a more sensitive temperament?

mildadhd
01-16-17, 12:18 AM
May I ask how old you were when you were adopted? Don't answer if it is too personal please.

Also how do you know you were born with a more sensitive temperament? Couldn't you have become more sensitive because of your early environment?

Do you know why you didn't cry?

From what I've read (and I'm not saying that this applies to you), babies whose caregivers don't respond quickly enough to their needs (signalled ny crying) might eventually stop crying as they learn that there is no point in crying.

Are you saying that inattentiveness and or hyperactivity are signs of a more sensitive temperament?

It is okay to ask me anything related to the topics.

Good questions.

I was adopted at about 3 months old. (Which was normal then)

I probably did not cry for the reasons you mentioned.

But what I know about my biological parents, they had more hypersensitive temperaments as well.

But so does my adopted parents.

Both inherited and circumstances are involved.

There never seems to be ever only one causation factor.

I am trying to make my posts less dense.

There lots of more interesting things to discuss in regards to your questions.

Will work on replying and discussing more this week.



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Little Missy
01-16-17, 08:45 AM
What type of support did your adopted parents use?

mildadhd
01-17-17, 10:21 PM
I have had "a history of frequent colds, upper respiratory infections, ear infections...eczema and allergies". Everything listed in the quote below, except asthma.

What about you?

Sensitivity is the reason why allergies are more common among AD(H)D children than in the rest of the population.

It is well known, and borne out again and again in clinical practice, that children with AD(H)D are more likely than their non-AD(H)D counterparts to have a history of frequent colds, upper respiratory infections, ear infections, asthma, eczema and allergies, a fact interpreted by some as evidence that AD(H)D is due to allergies.

Although the flare-up of allergies can certainly aggravate AD(H)D symptoms, the one does not cause the other.

They both are expressions of the same underlying inborn trait: sensitivity.

Since emotionally hypersensitive reactions are no less physiological than the body's allergic response to physical substances, we may say truthfully that people with AD(H)D have emotional allergies.

-Gabor Mate M.D., "Scattered", p 59.




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Fuzzy12
01-18-17, 01:29 AM
Not me. I was super healthy as a child according to my mom and accroding to what I remember. Emotionally I've akways been very sensitive though. ..according to my mom.

sarahsweets
01-18-17, 05:44 AM
My son had colic and I swore it was because I was under so much stress during my first year of marriage at age 20-in school and working.

mildadhd
01-18-17, 09:21 AM
Not me. I was super healthy as a child according to my mom and accroding to what I remember. Emotionally I've akways been very sensitive though. ..according to my mom.

Thanks.

The weird thing is I have always considered myself very healthy. There was always environments that seem to set off my allergies etc, but only if I was exposed to those environments. My eczema seem to go away for 17 years after I moved away from my original home province, then I went back to visit for a month and my eczema came back. Same concept with "emotional allergies".



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Fuzzy12
01-18-17, 12:55 PM
I guess Ekzema can be caused by stress as well.

What are emotional allergies?

mildadhd
01-19-17, 10:49 PM
I guess Ekzema can be caused by stress as well.



I am more reactive to some chemicals, dust mites, cats, dry conditions, etc.



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mildadhd
01-19-17, 11:30 PM
What are emotional allergies?

Just like parts of my temperament are born more physically sensitive to dust mites, found in my environment.

The parts of my temperament are more physically sensitive to emotional distresses, found in my environment.

Just like I am physically allergic to too much dust mite pooh, I am physically allergic too to much environmental emotional pooh.




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mildadhd
01-19-17, 11:36 PM
(Side note: this thread is not only about me, this thread is meant to help maternal caregivers recognize a more sensitive temperament, etc, please feel free to express your own temperamental experiences, or other topics that would help maternal caregivers.)



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Danibee
02-27-17, 05:50 PM
My daughter screamed for 3-1/2 years. Very unhappy baby, and now a very emotionally sensitive.

My mother was there for me when I needed to take a quick break. I'd call her, drive over (with daughter screaming in back seat), hand her over to Grammy, and head out on the back porch with a glass of wine.

Knowing that I had someone that would give me a small break when I needed it was invaluable.