View Full Version : Dealing with gombeens*


excelsior
01-09-17, 09:43 PM
I was in a situation today. I was being given the run-around, and I finally just lost my patience.

I felt that they were putting paper and procedure above my needs, and I told them so, in no uncertain terms. I'm usually more laid back, but it was important and I really didn't see why they couldn't TRY to do things a LITTLE differently, meet me halfway.

I minced NO words.

I didn't get what I wanted.

How do you deal with these people, without losing yer irish temper?

*From the Irish, not a bean, a person

finallyfound10
01-09-17, 11:59 PM
I have an Irish temper too so I'll be following this closely to see what the answer is!

ginniebean
01-10-17, 04:49 AM
A ginnie bean would do it right.

Little Nut
01-10-17, 03:36 PM
What do I do when people are throwing up a bunch of bureaucratic impediments to me getting what I want/need from them?

I assume that you let them know in no uncertain terms that you were ****** and what you thought of them and left. I am going to assume that to get what you need, you still require/want these peoples help.

Wait until I calm down, even if that is more than a day. Then take a little satisfaction in that blowing my stack made me feel better. Then I would realize that even though I felt better, I did fail to get what I needed. Then being cool/calm/rational the entire time I would go back to the people involved;

Apologize for my behavior.
Explain why the thing I need is important to me.
Ask each person involved what has to be done by whom to get what I need.
If there are unacceptable problems to getting what I need, explain why it is unacceptable and ask open-ended questions of them about ways to resolve that are acceptable. (Get these peoples help, they probably know how to work the bureaucracy better than anyone.)
If still unacceptable, I would need more particulars on whether to keep using these people/system to get what I need or to change what I need and avoid the problems or these people.



HTH, -LN

Fraser_0762
01-10-17, 03:52 PM
With my celtic genetics, my Irish temper is always in full swing. Wish I could help, but i'm still trying to figure this one out as well.

dvdnvwls
01-10-17, 04:51 PM
I remember seeing a book called The Art of Complaining by Phil Edmonston. Not sure if it's exactly what you need, but I know for sure it has some of what you need.

midnightstar
01-10-17, 05:03 PM
I'm not sure I understand - what's a gombeen?

dvdnvwls
01-10-17, 05:18 PM
I'm not sure I understand - what's a gombeen?
Someone who has been given power over others and who uses that power to put disadvantaged people at even greater disadvantage.

daveddd
01-11-17, 02:02 AM
one of 2 things depending on my thought pattern and emotional control at the time

keep in my i dont know what youre talking about, so maybe this isnt what you mean

1. i have a tantrum, somewhat covertly , boil over with anger because of the injustice being done to me... usually do it anyways and feel like a hot head once i calm down

2. figure this is some procedure the people are likely required to do and that theyre treating me no more special or terribly than the guy before me

thats just me though, im one extreme or the other

whatever youre dealing with i hope you get it taken care of well

Pilgrim
01-11-17, 02:22 AM
Sometimes my white hot anger focuses my thinking, sometimes I'm not very nice.

I've always noticed that if you can get them on your side, people will do almost anything.

20thcenturyfox
01-11-17, 03:31 PM
...I've always noticed that if you can get them on your side, people will do almost anything.

where bribes, mordida, baksheesh, schmiergeld are not the norm...then you have a much more appealing set of options right from the start, n'est-ce pas?

Of course getting a bored, lazy, fearful or overbearing bureaucrat on your side may not be easy (especially if you put it that way). But where on earth can you get what you want for free just by losing your temper?

Pilgrim
01-12-17, 07:26 AM
where bribes, mordida, baksheesh, schmiergeld are not the norm...then you have a much more appealing set of options right from the start, n'est-ce pas?

Of course getting a bored, lazy, fearful or overbearing bureaucrat on your side may not be easy (especially if you put it that way). But where on earth can you get what you want for free just by losing your temper?

I just don't like myself as much afterward. I had to do a bit of twinkle toeing today.
I was after something from doc and I was getting ****** around all day. Not happy Jan.

sarahsweets
01-12-17, 01:24 PM
Is Gombeem slang for something?

midnightstar
01-12-17, 03:42 PM
Is Gombeem slang for something?
dvd posted upthread what it is, sarah :grouphug:

Someone who has been given power over others and who uses that power to put disadvantaged people at even greater disadvantage.

dvdnvwls
01-13-17, 02:43 AM
Is Gombeem slang for something?
It's Irish-style slang. My explanation was not excellent and maybe not even right, but I hope it's close enough.

Another way to describe it is a self-important bureaucratic weenie. :) (one who obviously doesn't care about the person facing them).

excelsior
01-14-17, 05:20 PM
Hi, guys! Thanks for the input! I guess the person to copy in these situations is Spock. Calm. Logical. Unflappable. Or Henry Kissinger.

What finally happened was, I went to another community resource. I'd been with my now former bunch for a long time, but these new guys were nice, accommodating, and LISTENED.

Of course they do things a little differently, so it will be an adjustment.