View Full Version : Obsessive thoughts pretending to be important


BellaVita
01-10-17, 01:21 AM
One thing that really bugs me is that I get thoughts that my brain obsesses over and I can't get them out of my head because they feel important.

And I bet if they would leave my brain I would realize that they aren't so pressing and important.

I don't know how to get these thoughts out of my head, it's even worse with lack of sleep which is what I'm dealing with today.

It's like once my brain marks this thing as important then I can't get rid of it, and the thought will intrude into my mind several times a day for weeks. Sometimes even multiple times every hour.

Want to be able to let go of thoughts, but my brain won't let me.

And I don't want it to cause depression because usually that is the next thing that happens if a thought stays in my brain for so long. ( it already causes anxiety)

I can't separate myself from the thoughts long enough to realize that they really aren't important and that it really is OK if I forget about them. Yeah, it's like my brain feels fear that if I don't keep obsessing then something bad will happen. I don't even know what the something that is, it's just a feeling that is probably irrational.

For those with OCD, you know the struggle. Especially once that obsessive thought is pinned as important in your brain, it can be impossible to get any peace from it.

I have tried deep breathing, relaxation videos, singing, distracting myself with other thoughts(my brain always brings me back to the obsessive thoughts), and writing the thoughts down in a note and then deleting that note. The note thing provided a little bit of relief, but then the thoughts just came back stronger at a later time.

Would like to forget about these thoughts completely, even delete them, but my brain won't let me.

It's like once I acknowledge that I want them deleted, from my brain, it holds on even stronger and makes sure that I don't forget.

:(

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 01:50 AM
I hear u Bella, I know exactly what u are saying and it sux. I struggle with it frequently and have no real successful way of dealing with it. It just passes usually when my brain gets hung up on something else perceived being even more important.

I can only suggest u try and get more sleep if possible. I know my obsessive thinking and anxiety are worse when I am tired and or constantly cold, I have recently discovered.

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 01:55 AM
I think being tired and cold both cause physical stress which in turn becomes more mental stress for us. More mental stress equals more obsessive thoughts usually for me.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 02:01 AM
I hear u Bella, I know exactly what u are saying and it sux. I struggle with it frequently and have no real successful way of dealing with it. It just passes usually when my brain gets hung up on something else perceived being even more important.

I can only suggest u try and get more sleep if possible. I know my obsessive thinking and anxiety are worse when I am tired and or constantly cold, I have recently discovered.

Yes I totally forgot that is one way that my obsessive thoughts can get better a bit is when something else important comes up for me to obsess over.

It feels a bit relieving even just to get my brain to switch to something else to obsess over, as sad as that sounds.

Sucks because somehow my little brain must keep a storage of things to obsess over, so after I am done obsessing over a new important thing, it usually goes back to that storage and picks an older thing to obsess over. It doesn't forget.

Does that happen to you too?

Thanks for the suggestion, I will try to get better and longer sleep tonight. And you know you make a good point about being cold( though I don't have the bad symptoms you do), I should probably be more self-aware to make sure my body is comfortable.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 02:02 AM
I think being tired and cold both cause physical stress which in turn becomes more mental stress for us. More mental stress equals more obsessive thoughts usually for me.

I think you're right.

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 02:15 AM
Yes I totally forgot that is one way that my obsessive thoughts can get better a bit is when something else important comes up for me to obsess over.

It feels a bit relieving even just to get my brain to switch to something else to obsess over, as sad as that sounds.

Sucks because somehow my little brain must keep a storage of things to obsess over, so after I am done obsessing over a new important thing, it usually goes back to that storage and picks an older thing to obsess over. It doesn't forget.

Does that happen to you too?

It does happen to me with big things. I never forget those but I can forget smaller things. I usually obsess on smaller things only when I have idle time and not already obsessing on something larger.

I think either way we both are usually obsessing on something whether it's big or small. It's all OCD and we got it.:o

BellaVita
01-10-17, 02:24 AM
It does happen to me with big things. I never forget those but I can forget smaller things. I usually obsess on smaller things only when I have idle time and not already obsessing on something larger.

I think either way we both are usually obsessing on something whether it's big or small. It's all OCD and we got it.:o

That makes sense.

I wish I had a better capability to forget things like small things or big things.

I think you might remember a thread I posted a while back in the autism section on how I don't forget my own thoughts or verbal things really. It is a blessing and a curse, but when combined with OCD it is a curse.

Yep you have got that right. :)

TygerSan
01-10-17, 07:31 AM
I don't have OCD, so apologies if this comment is completely off the mark, but when I get stuck on a thought sometimes the only thing that works is full-on distraction. It's not always the best thing for my mental health, but delving into a video game or book or something that immerses me completely is something that can break the cycle. And sometimes it doesn't work at all, or I wind up in another rut.

dvdnvwls
01-10-17, 05:07 PM
There is no such thing as deleting a thought or a memory.

But thoughts and memories do wear away over time if they are not maintained and cared for.

The catch? Giving any attention to a thought, even a negative and rejecting kind of attention, equals maintaining it and caring for it. Deciding to ignore it, and holding and keeping the decision to ignore, also equals maintaining and caring for the original thought.

Remember what you had for lunch on May 12, 2001? Why not?

Johnny Slick
01-10-17, 05:10 PM
I'm definitely experiencing issues with obsessive thoughts, and it is beginning to get annoying. So you have my sympathy if nothing else!

dvdnvwls
01-10-17, 06:26 PM
Also:

Study inside yourself what it is that really makes thoughts be important or not important.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 10:18 PM
I don't have OCD, so apologies if this comment is completely off the mark, but when I get stuck on a thought sometimes the only thing that works is full-on distraction. It's not always the best thing for my mental health, but delving into a video game or book or something that immerses me completely is something that can break the cycle. And sometimes it doesn't work at all, or I wind up in another rut.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Even with distraction it's like my brain knows I'm trying to stop thinking about whatever I'm obsessing over and then it brings it up in my brain repeatedly("hey you are trying to distract yourself from that obsessive thought just thought it would be nice to remind you over and over!")even while I'm trying to distract myself.

Or maybe I'm not choosing something that fully immerses me.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 10:21 PM
There is no such thing as deleting a thought or a memory.

But thoughts and memories do wear away over time if they are not maintained and cared for.

The catch? Giving any attention to a thought, even a negative and rejecting kind of attention, equals maintaining it and caring for it. Deciding to ignore it, and holding and keeping the decision to ignore, also equals maintaining and caring for the original thought.

Remember what you had for lunch on May 12, 2001? Why not?

That makes sense, but I feel like it leaves me with no options. It's like no matter what I do my brain will still hold onto the thought -it's a lose lose.

No I don't. Probably because it's just food. And nothing important surrounds that food.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 10:26 PM
Also:

Study inside yourself what it is that really makes thoughts be important or not important.

That is a tricky thing to figure out.

I'm not even sure if it is figure out-able or if it is all just part of this disorder. Or there could be various reasons.

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 10:34 PM
Once a thought becomes obsessive it refuses to be ignored. It's a loop for me and trying to avoid it or think of something else is when anxiety comes in. These obsessive thoughts and anxiety will ramp up increasingly to counter my efforts to discard it, let it go or think of something else in the moment.

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 10:41 PM
That is a tricky thing to figure out.

I'm not even sure if it is figure out-able or if it is all just part of this disorder. Or there could be various reasons.

I agree and think anxiety plays a big role in determining the importance of a thought. Sometimes the anxiety is based on fact and other times it's just fabricated fiction from obsessing too much over it. To me it's like making mountains out of mole hills and not being able to control it. It can make thoughts of virtually no importance seem to be the most important thing at the time.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 10:41 PM
Once a thought becomes obsessive it refuses to be ignored. It's a loop for me and trying to avoid it or think of something else is when anxiety comes in. These obsessive thoughts and anxiety will ramp up increasingly to counter my efforts to discard it, let it go or think of something else in the moment.

You just described my experience to a T. :goodpost:

BellaVita
01-10-17, 10:48 PM
I agree and think anxiety plays a big role in determining the importance of a thought. Sometimes the anxiety is based on fact and other times it's just fabricated fiction from obsessing too much over it. To me it's like making mountains out of mole hills and not being able to control it. It can make thoughts of virtually no importance seem to be the most important thing at the time.

YES!!

Are you inside my brain? Your descriptions are spot-on.

Also I don't know about you but with obsessing, it reaches a point where I can no longer tell if it is based on fact or if it is fabricated fiction. Which just increases my anxiety even more and makes the thought even more important. Which leads to even more obsessing.

It just ramps itself up.

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 10:59 PM
YES!!

Are you inside my brain? Your descriptions are spot-on.

Also I don't know about you but with obsessing, it reaches a point where I can no longer tell if it is based on fact or if it is fabricated fiction. Which just increases my anxiety even more and makes the thought even more important. Which leads to even more obsessing.

It just ramps itself up.

I can't separate the facts from my fears after too much. I can only tell later when I have a chance to revisit it after the loop has ended.

When I say loop for me it starts as a loop and I continually add more worry and fears to it. This makes the loop so big that facts and fears get combined in intricate ways making them hard to distinguish.

BellaVita
01-10-17, 11:06 PM
I can't separate the facts from my fears after too much. I can only tell later when I have a chance to revisit it after the loop has ended.

When I say loop for me it starts as a loop and I continually add more worry and fears to it. This makes the loop so big that facts and fears get combined in intricate ways making them hard to distinguish.

Yes, again you have described my experience.

Thank you for putting words to what I've been going through.

Somehow it is therapeutic just to read that someone else goes through the same thing, I can feel my mind is calmer after reading your recent posts.

Something that helped me recently was realizing that many aspects of this disorder for me are uncontrollable, if not the majority or all of what occurs due to the disorder.

Greyhound1
01-10-17, 11:10 PM
Yes, again you have described my experience.

Thank you for putting words to what I've been going through.

Somehow it is therapeutic just to read that someone else goes through the same thing, I can feel my mind is calmer after reading your recent posts.

You are not alone my :cool: friend!

dvdnvwls
01-11-17, 12:05 AM
Also:

Study inside yourself what it is that really makes thoughts be important or not important.

That is a tricky thing to figure out.

I'm not even sure if it is figure out-able or if it is all just part of this disorder. Or there could be various reasons.
I think the importance of a thought always comes down to making a judgment about it.

And I also think that being non-judgmental of one's own thoughts might possibly be helpful. I'm not sure.

Greyhound1
01-11-17, 12:13 AM
I think the importance of a thought always comes down to making a judgment about it.

And I also think that being non-judgmental of one's own thoughts might possibly be helpful. I'm not sure.

I think being non-judgmental of thoughts absolutely would be very helpful. I think it's kinda like ADHD. We know what we need to do but it's the doing what we know part which makes it so difficult.

BellaVita
01-15-17, 02:50 AM
I'm finding myself struggling with obsessive thoughts again - well I guess I always am but this time more than usual. This time there is more than one thought I am obsessing over and I am having trouble keeping track of which thoughts I am obsessing over, which causes more anxiety.

I don't typically get this many obsessive thoughts at once.

I started out the day feeling OK, like my thoughts had gone down significantly, but as the day went on I feel more pressure and more obsessive thoughts.

I've lost track of whether these thoughts are rational or if my brain is coming up with fabricated fiction, like things that shouldn't even be an issue. And knowing that I've lost track of that makes me feel not good. I don't know how to talk myself out of these thoughts and I keep trying to determine whether they are rational or not and it just makes me feel more overwhelmed and obsess even more.

And I'm feeling some depression - and I feel low and not like myself.

I recently got some added stressors in my life, things I'm worried about in a big way, and dealing with some changes of plan, and I think that is having an effect on my OCD. I'm supposed to be relaxing tonight but all I can think about is everything I'm obsessing over.

And I'm doing something that I don't normally do which is - I'm feeling guilty for not getting things done fast enough or in a more efficient way.

And I think part of it is I need someone to talk to but right now everyone is busy. Like just some sort sort of fun social interaction. Which isn't something I normally crave but I am for some reason.

OK, thanks for listening to me spewing my thoughts, I know they are all over the place and some of them seem unrelated but it helped to dump my thoughts here.

Fraser_0762
01-15-17, 02:59 AM
Hey Bella, the things that you're obsessing over, have you tried writting them down on a piece of paper? I sometimes find that it's helpful in getting the thoughts out of my mind.

I know i'm a pain, but you can always send me a PM for a wind up and a gaff, it's not like I have anything else going on.

BellaVita
01-15-17, 03:18 AM
Hey Bella, the things that you're obsessing over, have you tried writting them down on a piece of paper? I sometimes find that it's helpful in getting the thoughts out of my mind.

I know i'm a pain, but you can always send me a PM for a wind up and a gaff, it's not like I have anything else going on.

Thanks for the suggestion, I have tried writing some of them down, but sometimes I find that writing them down just makes the obsessive thought more solid in my brain. At least that has been what is happening recently for some reason.

You aren't a pain.

But I must ask, what does a wind up and a gaff mean? :)

Fraser_0762
01-15-17, 03:23 AM
Thanks for the suggestion, I have tried writing some of them down, but sometimes I find that writing them down just makes the obsessive thought more solid in my brain. At least that has been what is happening recently for some reason.

You aren't a pain.

But I must ask, what does a wind up and a gaff mean? :)

Hmmm, yeah, that is a problem. :scratch: Is there any particular reason behind these obsessive thoughts? Or is it something that can occur spontaneously with any thoughts?

Oh.... a "wind up" just means a carry on. "Gaff"..... err, I might have just made that word up, but it jumped into my head for some reason. :D

BellaVita
01-15-17, 03:34 AM
Hmmm, yeah, that is a problem. :scratch: Is there any particular reason behind these obsessive thoughts? Or is it something that can occur spontaneously with any thoughts?

Oh.... a "wind up" just means a carry on. "Gaff"..... err, I might have just made that word up, but it jumped into my head for some reason. :D

That's a good question, I don't know. There might be a reason or the reason might just be due to the irrational things this disorder does.

I guess that would take some introspection. :scratch:


Ah...Thanks for explaining. :)

BellaVita
01-15-17, 05:22 AM
I feel much different and like a weight has been lifted off of my chest now after sharing some of my obsessive thoughts with my husband. I'm grateful that he was there for me even after a very long day and lots of work. I almost didn't bring it up because I didn't want to be a bother but I'm glad I did.

Talking about those thoughts with him just really helped me realize how not important they are, and helped me see things for what they are, I feel at least 75% better. It's like talking about it sort of made my brain switch modes and I am not obsessing so much. Even though I only shared a portion of my thoughts with him, for some reason doing so has calmed down every topic of my obsessive thoughts.

I also had a good cry during that conversation.

I realize that talking it out and being very honest about what I'm thinking and feeling is something beneficial to me and can reduce my obsessive thoughts.

midnightstar
01-15-17, 05:49 AM
Thanks for the suggestion, I have tried writing some of them down, but sometimes I find that writing them down just makes the obsessive thought more solid in my brain. At least that has been what is happening recently for some reason.

You aren't a pain.

But I must ask, what does a wind up and a gaff mean? :)

Obsessive thoughts are a pain in the backside :grouphug:

Wind up means gentle, good natured teasing and gaff means joke :)

Nelson1967
02-23-17, 08:13 PM
It's very impt to me cause I'm tired of family complaints who never did inforce crap and still does not with Grannd kids