Hi guys

I wanted to know if any of you has been refered to as being overly sarcastic
I am constantly being told I am sarcastic, even when I think I'm not being.
I know I have ADD (not diagnosed) and a dark humour, but it has always bugged me to know if the way I thought, which I know now to be ADD, made me less empathetic to peoples boundaries. I had never really trusted people, and still don't, if I'm honest.
Maybe I hold some resentment for/of people, for not understanding me, and also me not understanding them (it sounds strange for me to call people them, in the sense that I have finally found place for people I completely understand) but I wanted to know your views.

ps i hope that makes sense, i just reread it and I'm sure:confused:

a girlfriend once told me I was the queen of the backhanded compliment.

I was quite surprised.

Not that I've been accused of being *overly* sarcastic, but I am very sarcastic. And, all of my children are proving to be just as sarcastic as their mother, too. Ok, maybe not one of the best learned traits to pass on but we really have a good time being little snots together! LOL:p

guilty as charged....and so is my daughter; we're the adders in the family.

I'm not sarcastic very often. But I have been misread as being that way maybe because I tell the truth when it is not cool. I try to keep my tone of voice clear and non threatening.
I can be a smarty pants though....is that the same thing? I can be a little sassy. Is that sarcastic? I can do some pretty good one-liners.....does that count?
What the heck is sarcasm, anyway?





~gourmet~

I'm not sarcastic very often. But I have been misread as being that way maybe because I tell the truth when it is not cool. I try to keep my tone of voice clear and non threatening.
I can be a smarty pants though....is that the same thing? I can be a little sassy. Is that sarcastic? I can do some pretty good one-liners.....does that count?
What the heck is sarcasm, anyway?

~gourmet~


Sarcasm is used when you can't think of anything funny to say.
Humor is used when you can't think of anything sarcastic today.

At least that's how it works for me.
:)

Motorbrain

Well, just come right out and say it, MOtorbraiN.
I'll bet you think you are funny, eh?
Why, you're about as funny as a pigeon with a parachute......

Was that sarcasm? :(
Somehow that didn't sound like humor.......

;) ~gourmet~

Yes, I have been told many times I am sarcastic and many times that I am a smarty pants as well. And of course all goes together with being blunt when others don't need me to be.

ha ha all my life I have been told "you need to be more tactfull! I have always been accused of not considering others feelings and just saying what is on my mind LOL...isnt that funny!

Jennifer

Was that sarcasm? :(
Somehow that didn't sound like humor.......

;) ~gourmet~

LOL! I was laughing though...
:)

Good then. :) That saves another embarrassing aplogy ;)


sarcasm sucks

Yea my sense on humor is rather light but also it has a strange thing to it. It is eithern really stupid or really intelligent no in between.

I know what you mean Ichpuchtli.
maybe that middle ground is where
the "normals":p have fun, and maybe
that why I don't find their humour that funny. LOL:D

I find myself having to laugh at my own jokes :D
"everybody laugh along now......hahaehehehhhaaaaaaaa.....yeah..." :D

Sarcasm is used when you can't think of anything funny to say.
Humor is used when you can't think of anything sarcastic today.

At least that's how it works for me.
:)

Motorbrain
Yep, that's me to a tee. I don't think fast, want to say something humorous, but always end up saying something sarcastic. I've decided the only way to stop is to say something nice instead. If I cant' think of anything nice, I'll try to keep my big mouth shut.

You know, I really don't think there is anything wrong with sarcasm. Perhaps because that's the biggest form of humor in my household, but still I think when being sarcastic among friends and family in a teasing manner it's ok. Around here the term Smart A** is used quite frequently when referring to one of us. Anyway, I do feel sarcasm when used in a cutting or angry manner isn't ever appropriate and should be avoided. So, that's my take.

I think when being sarcastic among friends and family in a teasing manner it's ok.
I see your point, but think of it this way...

Sarcasm is a cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.

Yes, it feels good when you're on the end that's delivering. But, it doesn't feel too good when you're on the receiving end. Especially when it's being delivered by a group.

What's the next thought that runs through a person's mind that just received a sarcastic comment? "How can I get back at that person with a more sarcastic comment!" Mix in the whether that person was having a bad day and if the comment was about something really sensitive and you have a recipe for disaster. It's spiral affect.

If anyone has read any of the John Gottman books. "Contempt" is one of the major ingredients for failed relationships.

Just another point of view from someone who has been through it.

Scientists have found the divide in the brain between people who understand sarchasm and those that don't.

link:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4566319.stm

Have they found the divide between people who can spell sarcasm and those who can't???

Sorry, didnt mean to be sarcastic. My father called me "Roseanne" one day. Does that mean I am sarcastic???

Yeah i'm very sarcastic searcasim means tearing flesh this teacher told me that all the time when i had a commit to make she was the worse usless human being i ever met in my whole so hoplfuy she felt those deep cuts with my words.

Hi guys

I wanted to know if any of you has been refered to as being overly sarcastic
I am constantly being told I am sarcastic, even when I think I'm not being.
I know I have ADD (not diagnosed) and a dark humour, but it has always bugged me to know if the way I thought, which I know now to be ADD, made me less empathetic to peoples boundaries. I had never really trusted people, and still don't, if I'm honest.
Maybe I hold some resentment for/of people, for not understanding me, and also me not understanding them (it sounds strange for me to call people them, in the sense that I have finally found place for people I completely understand) but I wanted to know your views.

ps i hope that makes sense, i just reread it and I'm sure:confused:

I've always been referred to as "sarcastic." I think it comes across that way more often that it usually is that way. Part of the problem I have is that most people don't understand my sense of humor. I found that I actually had to "dumb it down" a bunch to get people to laugh.
I don't really mean this in a condescending way...it's just that I see connections and relations between things that most people wouldn't get if they were drawn pictures, diagrams and detailed explanations. And I see these in a flash. So, trying to make funny in the realm that I tend to live in didn't work so well and was actually seen as sarcastic...because people could only get a SMALL piece of what I said so they assumed the rest....incorrectly of course.

I've learned over the years to wait for the good ones though. By this I mean that, say for example I'm in a meeting or at a dinner with others, I use to whip out little one liners or quips. Some were funny some were over the top and too many of them were taken as sarcasm. Now, I sit and listen and nod and let the little ones pass. Then after a time I'll just drop a bombshell comment that makes just about everyone fall off their chairs with laughter.
I think this "dumb it down" disconnect is a primary basis for my lack of friends. The few friends that I've had over the years were either also ADD'ers and we didn't know it at the time...or they were some of the brightest engineers or geeks around and we understood each other.
I've lost all of those friends from just moving around the country....
Anyway, this thread was about sarcasm...not me! :D

Have they found the divide between people who can spell sarcasm and those who can't???

Sorry, didnt mean to be sarcastic. My father called me "Roseanne" one day. Does that mean I am sarcastic???

Jenjor, you Sarcast!
If my father called you Roseanne, it would mean you are fat...not funny...but my father is an *****wipe. :D

Sarcasm is a way of saying something negative with postivie words e.g. this television show is sooo good, or you are sooo good looking. The insinuation is that the t.v. show is not good and the person you are referring to is not good looking. However you don't want to be seen as being negative and so you mask your criticism with sarcasm.

So when people are telling you mate that they wish you were less sarcastic, they are really asking you to be less critical.

Hugh

p.s. if you want to know more about why you are critical just ask.

"most people don't understand my sense of humor. I found that I actually had to "dumb it down" a bunch to get people to laugh.
I don't really mean this in a condescending way...it's just that I see connections and relations between things that most people wouldn't get if they were drawn pictures, diagrams and detailed explanations. And I see these in a flash. So, trying to make funny in the realm that I tend to live in didn't work so well and was actually seen as sarcastic...because people could only get a SMALL piece of what I said so they assumed the rest....incorrectly of course."



B-I-N-G-0!!!

I wish I had a nickel for everytime I did not have the time to dumb something down and was falsely accused of being nasty. They just put it through their personal filters and comet to the wrong conclusion! Do you find that no one EVER asks you what you meant? They could save a lot of angst on my part if they did.

FightingBoredom, I totally agree with you,
I been thinking that also because we percieve
"normals" differently, we try to emulate their
sense of humour (...to fit in) and come up with
something completely different.
I also like your snapshot idea, my humour comes
to me like that.

ps I not changing the thread to humour, its still about sarcasm....i just think I'm funny:D:D:D:confused:

Hugh

why am I so critical?....just asking!!;)

Hi Black Adder,

Firstly, you see things in a critical way. You are highly intelligent and analyse everything with your busy brain e.g. you might think something like "that advertisment on T.V. was too ambiguous; I wasnt sure if it was a commercial for cars or for good looking women."

However your decision to voice that critical thought is what is the issue here. There are a couple of reasons you might voice your critical thoughts on things;

1. Given your obvious intelligence you probably feel a sense of under achievement (which many people with ADD feel). You know you should be using your talents in more than the 20 dollar an hour job that you are in. By analysing things and criticising them you are saying hey I have some talent world, I can see how this could have been done better, I am smart, notice me!!! Once you start achieving more of what you are capable of I will bet that you will be less critical of others.


2. You dont have to make yourself vulnerable to criticise something. If you say something positive like "Hey I like Burke Backs Yard" what you are saying is this is me and then you are open to being criticised by mates "I can't believe your into gardening you pansy," is what you leave yourself open to. By criticising other things you are effectively saying I am not this, I am not that, therefore you can't cause me pain. I think you, me and most people with ADD have experienced a lot of pain in the past. So you have closed up a bit.

3.Certainty- to say something critical shows certainty. If your mind is anything like mine, sometimes you feel quiet confused and it is a nice feeling to be assertive rather than muddled. You are saying something with confidence and desciveness i.e. this show sucks.

Your friend, Hugh

p.s. I hope this helps and please dont critise me! LOL.