View Full Version : I fear I might be going backwards mentally again


midnightstar
01-21-17, 03:11 PM
Over the past few days my ocd has been kicking my butt and I'm trying to fight the urge to hurt myself (I used to hurt myself a couple of years ago but this forum helped me stop)

Just need to get this out there to try to make it all stop. If anyone wants to post reasons not to obey my ocd and start cutting again I'd be very grateful for people to respond. Thanks wonderful peoples :grouphug:

Fraser_0762
01-21-17, 03:33 PM
Because cutting wouldn't solve anything.

Sometimes you need to get things out in the open. Do you have a psychiatrist, or anybody you can talk openly to? If not, then it's highly recommended that you do.

Unmanagable
01-21-17, 04:01 PM
Each thought is just a guest. Try to treat them as such and let them know there is no room in the guest house.

Imagine what would go through your kitty cat's minds if they knew you were hurting yourself. Don't hurt the hand(s) that feeds them.

Maybe try the idea of writing on yourself vs. cutting yourself. I saw that on a site called "To Write Love On Her Arms" and it had a huge impact on my heart.((((Hugs)))) Take good care of you.

midnightstar
01-21-17, 04:48 PM
Because cutting wouldn't solve anything.

Sometimes you need to get things out in the open. Do you have a psychiatrist, or anybody you can talk openly to? If not, then it's highly recommended that you do.

There's no reason for me to be getting the urges again though, volunteering is going well, work is going well, I got Ebony and Tigger , a roof over my head, getting a laugh a minute from Tigger's antics(like say for example about 5 minutes ago she decided to play the game of "Kill The Bath Plug Hole" even though there was no water going down there :lol: )

idk why ocd has decided to be a pain again .........

Lunacie
01-21-17, 07:07 PM
There's no reason for me to be getting the urges again though, volunteering is going well, work is going well, I got Ebony and Tigger , a roof over my head, getting a laugh a minute from Tigger's antics(like say for example about 5 minutes ago she decided to play the game of "Kill The Bath Plug Hole" even though there was no water going down there :lol: )

idk why ocd has decided to be a pain again .........

After 67 years, I believe everything goes in cycles.

These feelings are part of the cycle and you've been here before,
and you've moved on before.
You can move on to another part of the cycle again.

Don't fight the thoughts, that gives them more power.
Just say "Hello there ODC. Sorry but I'm too busy for you today."
Or, "Goodbye OCD, I've got better things to do today."

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQoOr__oN2GnzJZ9r6sEK16YYAqbO7sl sCEA7WQnJsbwDAQxykgwg

Every post you make here on this forum is a better thing to do! :D

20thcenturyfox
01-29-17, 10:02 PM
Over the past few days my ocd has been kicking my butt and I'm trying to fight the urge to hurt myself (I used to hurt myself a couple of years ago but this forum helped me stop)

Just need to get this out there to try to make it all stop. If anyone wants to post reasons not to obey my ocd and start cutting again I'd be very grateful for people to respond. Thanks wonderful peoples :grouphug:

I'm sure others here know this territory better than I do. But your phrasing about "reasons not to obey" caught my attention because I know quite a bit about resistance and rebellion.

Could it be at all helpful to personalize your OCD as an overbearing and entitled roommate who is getting in your face and trying to dictate to you what to do and how to do it? Can you recruit anything in your own experience where someone was so pushy and off-base that it got your back up? If someone were trying to pressure your child in this way, would you just let them, without pushing back?

There are probably plenty of good "reasons not to obey." But sometimes a little face-slapping, ball-kicking indignation is called for. Especially when you know there is someone who needs your protection.

dvdnvwls
01-30-17, 03:25 AM
Sometimes, you forget to love yourself. You are so familiar with yourself that you can start treating yourself uncaringly, without love and without respect.

This respect and love are not things that can be earned, by anyone, ever. You get them for free because you are you, and no one is ever permitted to take them away or cancel them - not even you yourself can get rid of the respect and love that belong to you.

If you were in the room and Ebony or Tigger started to do bad things to themselves, I know you would stop them from doing it, because you know they deserve to be safe and healthy. If I was in the room and you started to do that, I would stop you. I know if I went to do something bad to myself you would stop me too, even though you don't know me - you just know I shouldn't be hurt like that.

Please treat yourself with at least as much love and respect as you would give to me, a stranger. (Hopefully you will treat yourself much better than you'd treat a stranger... but at least no worse, OK?)

midnightstar
01-30-17, 02:54 PM
I just wish I could change myself, be someone else.

Fraser_0762
01-30-17, 02:57 PM
I just wish I could change myself, be someone else.

I think most of us wish that. But you've just got to work with what you've got and make the most of things.

midnightstar
01-30-17, 03:00 PM
Keep having the thought that I'm a piece of dirt and my brain will not stop it.

idk what's got into me.

Fraser_0762
01-30-17, 03:04 PM
Keep having the thought that I'm a piece of dirt and my brain will not stop it.

idk what's got into me.

Sometimes self doubt creeps into the soul and plays round and round like a broken record.

When I find myself in this sort of situation I look for other things to occupy my mind with.

The anxiety goblin can only hurt you if you listen to it. Keep yourself occupied and soon it will get fed up and leave. :)

dvdnvwls
01-30-17, 03:08 PM
I just wish I could change myself, be someone else.
Kilted Scotsman was just saying in another thread, that if you want to make a successful major change then first you need to give up wanting to be someone else. As long as you want to be someone else, you can't be anybody at all. Accepting yourself as you are, already good and already lovable, is the first step you have to take every day.

You can't figure out how to get where you want to be, if you don't fully accept where you already are.

midnightstar
01-30-17, 05:00 PM
dvd was that the thread that someone said happiness is found within rather than outside of someone? Or is my brain making crap up again?

dvdnvwls
01-30-17, 05:29 PM
You're right, that's the one.

Fraser_0762
01-30-17, 05:31 PM
dvd was that the thread that someone said happiness is found within rather than outside of someone? Or is my brain making crap up again?

Yeah...... someone. :(

midnightstar
01-31-17, 01:49 AM
Yeah...... someone. :(

sorry I couldn't remember and the thread was hiding :o

(not got my glasses on yet this morning) :o

sarek
01-31-17, 04:43 AM
I just wish I could change myself, be someone else.

Just be you. Be the fullness of you. That is the best you can possibly strive for.
Look inside of yourself, find out who you really are. You will be amazed.

Fraser_0762
01-31-17, 01:17 PM
Just be you. Be the fullness of you. That is the best you can possibly strive for.
Look inside of yourself, find out who you really are. You will be amazed.

Sarek. Are you an author by any chance?

The way you word things on here is exquisite. :)

C15H25N3O
02-04-17, 04:46 PM
Lifes experiences sculpt our personalities.
Personalities cannot be changed.

They are our individual story.

It is all about accepting ourself.
It is about enjoying the good days,
but tolerating the bad days.

If I could, I would come over
and let you try out some spray.