View Full Version : Feeling like nobody likes me


Fraser_0762
01-21-17, 10:29 PM
It's a stupid and immature way for any man to feel. But it's a fact, I actually feel that way. I think people might not like me because I don't like myself, because they don't like me.....

Before somebody says "but I like you....", I mean out there in the real world. I don't have any friends. I feel like people decide that they are not going to like me within the first few seconds of meeting me. Even if I don't say anything to them.... perhaps it's my body language or something, but i'm never really aware of it or how it is picked up by other people.

Am I to go through my whole life like this? I don't think I can take it any longer.

BellaVita
01-21-17, 11:00 PM
:grouphug::grouphug:

I'm sorry you feel so crappy and that people don't seem to like you.

You're young, it doesn't have to go on forever.

I also have had the experience where people seem to instantly dislike me, more in the form of being condescending towards me or acting strange and patronizing, especially with other females.

I have no clue why this happens, I must give off some vibes. I think I also seem off to them, and weak, Na´ve, and a bit too innocent and childlike. And makes people feel like they can have power over me.

Other people have noticed how other females seem to instantly act weird upon meeting me or come off as condescending - as if they don't accept me as one of "them".

But I have also noticed that there is this group of people who tend to find me very sweet and like me. It's hard to predict which group of people will be the ones that like me or dislike me. I try to be really polite by saying thank you a lot and that helps people feel good - I think being extra polite can sometimes cover up my weird quirky differences.

Anything where you can show interest towards the other person by acting like you really care about them, like saying how are you and being very genuinely grateful towards them, and asking them questions about themselves tends to work better. I find that trying to keep my mouth shut about my own favorite topics is also something that tends to make people like me more. I guess randomly talking about my special interests can throw off other people. Even though I find it to be very interesting.

I have one person that I can talk about my special interests to for several hours at a time, and that is enough for me.

I think I'm going off on the wrong subject. I'm sorry if my post comes across as selfish or self centered. I don't mean for it to.

My experience so far the little that I have had, I get along best with other people who are "weird". Others with ADHD for example seem to be more accepting and less likely to write me off at the moment they meet me. People who are non-neurotypical seem to be more accepting of me in general.

Maybe you would find better luck with those types of people?

sarahsweets
01-22-17, 05:06 AM
I had to learn some thins over the years with recovery and all and that was : feelings are not facts and what other people think of me is none of my business. Its hard to get to that point. I am not saying that you are not supposed to feel and think that way, but just because you do, doesnt mean its true. Lets pretend it is true and the whole world thinks youre a butthead- just because that could be the case doesnt mean it is the case. People are jerks sometimes. I dont know what kind of vibes you are giving off. I want you to learn how to not care about that stuff, even if it is true and I am totally off base.

If there is a way for you to learn to accept something, anything about yourself, its one step closer to self acceptance.

Drewbacca
01-22-17, 11:06 PM
It's a crappy loop to be stuck in... your feelings towards yourself is the root cause, and likely the only cause of your social frustration. If solutions were simple, there would be no need for sites like this. Just remember, there isn't anything inherently wrong with you, it's the illness that speaks. Don't believe the lies that depression speaks to you.

dvdnvwls
01-22-17, 11:27 PM
Your judgment of how people feel about you is almost certainly faulty. Bear that in mind when you're meeting anyone, and just don't come to any conclusions about how you think they feel.


And... You have to like some people. If you don't like anyone, then your chance of being liked will probably go down. Not saying you should like everyone you meet - but you do have to accept the possibility. :)

Lloyd_
01-26-17, 08:55 PM
It's a stupid and immature way for any man to feel. But it's a fact, I actually feel that way. I think people might not like me because I don't like myself, because they don't like me.....

Before somebody says "but I like you....", I mean out there in the real world. I don't have any friends. I feel like people decide that they are not going to like me within the first few seconds of meeting me. Even if I don't say anything to them.... perhaps it's my body language or something, but i'm never really aware of it or how it is picked up by other people.

Am I to go through my whole life like this? I don't think I can take it any longer.

Honestly I believe that many people feel the same exact way that you do who probably aren't ADD or feel screwed up like I do. I figure people are going to mock me for my quirky behavior behind my back and I'm ok with that because I am quirky and it's in people's nature to gossip and go with the group think, the only person that you should care likes you or not is YOURSELF!

This is something I struggle with on a daily basis, you have to be happy with what you are and if you're able to make even small changes to yourself that are for the better it puts you ahead of a good bulk of people who are content with mediocrity.

Lesley
05-08-17, 06:57 AM
I wish i couldn't relate. My husband (of less than 1 year) told me last night that he is sick to death of me. And son is everyone else. "Why?" I asked.

I don't know what he said, because i immediately realized it is true.

He had just open palmed me across the face, and later apologized profusely for what he said and did. But he wasn't wrong. Everyone is sick of me. And what I don't understand is; why now?

When i was young, thin and beautiful, I was an uncaring snob. I thought so much of myself that no one else's opinions' carried much weight.

Now i am 15 years older, overweight, and have zero confidence. But I am kind, caring and do anything in my power for anyone.

It isn't that I am treated with disdain because I treated others poorly. It's the opposite. And its awful because i know if i could just get back that ugly pride and confidence, people would like me again.

Even though I would no longer be a likeable person..

Enough Rope
05-08-17, 01:10 PM
He had just open palmed me across the face, and later apologized profusely for what he said and did. But he wasn't wrong.

Hi Lesley,

I don't know you, but THIS is where you need to draw the line. Period. Please seek help, because physical abuse won't stop because you start acting "acceptable" to this man.

Whatever problems you are dealing with, letting this man strike you and say cruel (and probably unfounded) things are NOT the path to healing.

Fuzzy12
05-08-17, 03:04 PM
I wish i couldn't relate. My husband (of less than 1 year) told me last night that he is sick to death of me. And son is everyone else. "Why?" I asked.

I don't know what he said, because i immediately realized it is true.

He had just open palmed me across the face, and later apologized profusely for what he said and did. But he wasn't wrong. Everyone is sick of me. And what I don't understand is; why now?

When i was young, thin and beautiful, I was an uncaring snob. I thought so much of myself that no one else's opinions' carried much weight.

Now i am 15 years older, overweight, and have zero confidence. But I am kind, caring and do anything in my power for anyone.

It isn't that I am treated with disdain because I treated others poorly. It's the opposite. And its awful because i know if i could just get back that ugly pride and confidence, people would like me again.

Even though I would no longer be a likeable person..

If people like you or not isn't currently your main problem. Your husband just hit you and that's got absolutely nothing to do with whether you are likeable or not.

Like the poster above said please get help (or ideally just leave. This is where you need to draw the line!!).

I've got a feeling that once you leave this abusive relationship you will soon realise that you are in fact likeable and that there are people who are fond of you. You will realise that in fact not everyone is sick of you but that your husband is a very very sick man.