View Full Version : Deals with the universe


Fuzzy12
01-23-17, 07:27 PM
Does anyone else do this? Make a deal that you'll give up something or do in order for something else to happen (or not happen)?

E.g. i remember a few years ago feeling this wave of panic wash over me everytime I remembered that my my dad was turning 70 that year so I vowed to stop eating meat in exchange for my parents getting to live a long and healthy life.

I know, completely illogical and nonsensical. I do stuff like this all the time. Most of the time my deals involvw giving up an item of food. Usually i give up something unhealthy so even if its nonsensical at least it might help my health.

I'm not sure why I do this when i'm so vehemently against most things related to any sort of faith. I do it out of helplessness I guess when I don't know what else I could do. I call it deals with the universe but I don't actually think the universe is listening. I also don't think that my deals make a difference. It's just something to make me feel a bit better about the issue and myself I guess.

I've made quite a few deals this year. I don't even remember what they are all for. ...:doh:

Curious though if anyone else does this.

aeon
01-23-17, 07:32 PM
Can't say that I do.

Do you think it is related to an internal sense of deserving, or is it an anxiety coping behavior, or...?


Cheers,
Ian

Fuzzy12
01-23-17, 07:34 PM
Anxiety coping behaviour for sure.

I just find it strange because it really goes against everything I believe in. It gives me a bit of.comfort though I also feel guilty for doing something so nonsensical.

aeon
01-23-17, 07:38 PM
Yes, it is interesting in that you're not down with mystical thinking. ;)


Cheers,
Ian

Little Missy
01-23-17, 07:53 PM
No deals here, but my friend who still has not DIED yet used to do that all the time to try to not make him gay.

Fraser_0762
01-23-17, 08:13 PM
No deals here, but my friend who still has not DIED yet used to do that all the time to try to not make him gay.

I wonder what kind of people make him feel that he can't be true to his own sexuality.

aeon
01-23-17, 08:17 PM
I wonder what kind of people make him feel that he can't be true to his own sexuality.

Culturally, a lot has changed in a short period of time.

It wasn't that long ago that it was dangerous to be out, and for some, it still is, sadly.


Cheers,
Ian

Little Missy
01-23-17, 10:11 PM
I wonder what kind of people make him feel that he can't be true to his own sexuality.

I wondered that myself as he was a manly man, well dressed, well built, no femininity at all, but the "deals" he made, gawd, I never knew about them until he explained how intricate and how desperate he was to have them work to change him. I knew him since I was a teenager and he's 10 years older than I am.

:confused: Then it got to be boring because the scenario wasn't going to change and yet he felt so compelled to tell me everything. It sounded like it would have been much easier to just be but he was unable to just be. He was addicted to the thrill of as many encounters as he could. Frankly I found it exhausting. I mean, by then he was in his middle sixties and it made me cross-eyed, but I always listened.:umm1:

Little Missy
01-23-17, 10:13 PM
Oddly, he came from a HUGE family. 16 siblings and two others were overtly gay and the family was totally accepting of that. There was a super sweet story of his oldest straight brother going to all ends in a blizzard to get the youngest brother a pink teddy bear and a bride doll for Christmas.

stef
01-24-17, 11:56 AM
Anxiety coping behaviour for sure.

I just find it strange because it really goes against everything I believe in. It gives me a bit of.comfort though I also feel guilty for doing something so nonsensical.

I don't think it's particularly healthy to do this, once you really start believing it this kind of thinking can become really dangerous.

My best friend does this; she has religious faith and has been through much in her life, and she's extremely strong; but the "bargaining" thing always worried me.

(I usually find out long after the fact - we see each other about once a year and then we're talking (non-stop :) ), and it turns out there was some rough spot over those months and amongst telling all of this she mentions the "bargaining".

Fuzzy12
01-24-17, 12:17 PM
Missy that is so sad about your friend. I hope he can find acceptance some day both others and himself.

Stef I dont really believe in it, which is why I find it very curious myself that I do this. Normally there are several reasons, eg I don't want to eat meat anyway because I feel.bad about the animals or I quit chocolates also because I couldn't limit eating them. The deal is what gives me the motivation and strength to do it though. (Not that it's difficult but well for me it's super difficult to stick to anything).

And I guess it makes me feel slightly reassured that I am doing something so it helps a bit with anxiety.

I agree though. It's not very healthy.

I am a bit surprised though that not more people do this. I know a few people irl who do.

midnightstar
01-24-17, 12:24 PM
I admit I do the bargaining thing pretty much every time I worry about anything :o

Little Missy
01-24-17, 12:45 PM
Thank you Fuzz but he's 90 pounds now and living miserably with his sister while they wait to collect on him. No, he'll never come to terms now. He had to make up Kruzefeldts Jakobs disease from the luxurious travelling that he'd done to keep the suing hoardes from his "holdings" when in fact he had lost and spent it all and has Aids and his dementia led him to believe he was still wealthy.

He had no faith nor did he ever really want any. He was addicted to as many as he could possibly have. And he travelled far and wide for his collection.
I'd like to buy back my mum's baby grand he bought from me. Ah well, I'll remember the happy times. Although his repertoire was extremely limited. Besides, that Kohler-Campbell has a man's touch anyway.

Little Missy
01-24-17, 12:47 PM
Anyway, I do NOT bargain! I take action. If I waited for any bargaining to come to fruition I would have lost my chance.

Fuzzy12
01-24-17, 12:53 PM
Anyway, I do NOT bargain! I take action. If I waited for any bargaining to come to fruition I would have lost my chance.

What if there is no action that you can take?? :scratch:

Little Missy
01-24-17, 12:55 PM
What if there is no action that you can take?? :scratch:

There is always action that you can take. Always. Period. No holds barred.

midnightstar
01-24-17, 12:57 PM
There is always action that you can take. Always. Period. No holds barred.

Not always.

Like say for example if a much loved family member of yours is very ill and the doctors say they done everything they can and it's a waiting game to see if they get better. Would you bargain with anything in this scenario? ;)

Little Missy
01-24-17, 01:09 PM
Not always.

Like say for example if a much loved family member of yours is very ill and the doctors say they done everything they can and it's a waiting game to see if they get better. Would you bargain with anything in this scenario? ;)

No, I would take charge as I have before and would do again.

midnightstar
01-24-17, 01:13 PM
No, I would take charge as I have before and would do again.

But you can't order someone's health to behave and if the doctors have done everything they can then what can you do? :scratch:

Little Missy
01-24-17, 01:15 PM
But you can't order someone's health to behave and if the doctors have done everything they can then what can you do? :scratch:

Neither can the doctor but I can take them home. There is no place like home. No more pestering scenarios.