View Full Version : what made you seek diagnosis


Icklee
01-28-17, 09:17 AM
Hi everyone

So I have been wanting to ask a question about the time leading up to seeking a diagnosis as an adult,

I have been wanting to go see someone about myself but IM still umming and ahhing about going for the reason that I don't want to get in there and waste my time and the little
money I can put towards this, and just end up feeling like a joke

I would just like to share a bit of my story and try to get an idea of whether people were in the same boat as me or not

here goes

So as a child, I was always very intense, always climbing trees running a million miles an hour opening everyone's presents on Christmas. My mom told me I wasn't a bad kid but
'spirited'' I would always be doing naughty things out of curiosity, Turning off the escalator in the shopping mall, Talking to people on the intercom in the bank,
setting off an alarm in some building by pushing the buttons on a door's keypad. I was always talking always be asking millions of questions


from birth, I didn't sleep much I don't know the exact months but I know that I didn't sleep through the night till
Quite late, my mother said I always wanted to be awake to see what was going on in the world, when I was a kid I still didn't sleep much I would go to bed late get up early and
Was always on the go but I don't remember feeling tired because of it as a child, into adolescence I started to start sleeping very poorly, unable to get to sleep, at night
and never feeling refreshed, I also sleep much better after 2-3AM

I don't know the reason surrounded why my mum took me but she was told by I would assume our family doctor that I had a mild chemical imbalance and they could try me on medication
Which she decided not to do, but I don't think I was ever formally tested for adhd/add

I started off school OK, I was always easily distracted and going off task but I passed quite well until I was maybe 8 or 9,
my reports were always full of needs to apply himself, gets distracted easily, distracts others, is very bright but has trouble staying on task

My handwriting has never really improved, my spelling is quite poor, my reading has never been great especially out loud and I struggle with retaining information
From the text, I have read and found it very taxing which led me to get tested for dyslexia the physician I saw said I had it, but it seemed quite informal and
I didn't really know what to do with that.

In primary school English was the subject I struggled with most, through my high school years I was quite chubby and my confidence had pretty much reached rock bottom
I struggled to stay on task and I began to get further and further behind in almost all my subjects, I even started skipping English classes later on because I had so much
Anxiety about reading out loud in front of everyone(part of the reason I think I fell so behind is because of my parent's messy divorce and not having much help at home, but that's another story)
by year 11 and 12 (17-18 years old) I had pretty much checked out of school mentally, I was so far behind and I saw no future for myself through academia, so I dropped out and
Went traveling around Australia with my girlfriend. After getting home I tried to go back to school and study engineering(drafting) at tech college, but I found that
Staying on task was still so hard for me, listening to our teachers I found that I didn't focus on what they were saying and basically retained very little
I ended up dropping out.

In my working life I have had a few jobs, IM quite a hard worker and when I first start a job I do quite well, as I get bored that declines but I think that is the same
for everyone. IM finding at my current job when I have multiple things on the go at one time I get quite stressed, when someone gives me a job I make sure to do it straight
away or I know that I will forget it, and my ability to prioritize one task over another is quite bad. But I get by, not easily but I do.

I can't stand my job, not because its a terrible job but because I really hoped id do more with my life ,I know I am smart enough and I want to go to school and study but
I can't afford university when I know full well in my current state without help I wont succeed, I have a constant feeling of disappointment in myself and life for not doing
More with it,

this is getting to be to long and incoherent so IM gonna dot point some stuff

I lose things quite often

I get bored very easily

I have issues when focusing on a variety of tasks

I have always been very emotional, quick to cry quick to anger and I still am but I takes something much more to set me off now IM older

I seem to have a new interest every few weeks, and I am terrible at starting/finished a project.

At night time my when IM trying to sleep I feel like everything comes flooding in and I can't shut is off.

When my partner tells me about something that is happening IM pretty much guaranteed to forget it (like people visiting/ something we have planned).

Sometimes I feel like anxiety is the reason why I get anything done

I have low self esteem and issues with self image

I find it difficult to enjoy the things I used to like gaming because I know I should be working towards a better career. And ive tried to quit playing games and watching
Things, to try and pursue education ,

when I find something that interests me I learn so well (for a short time)

There is so much more I wanted to share but this is getting long and I know its very incomplete but I thought I would write something and then answer any questions people
Might have, I am not expecting a diagnosis or anything just , a little bit of understanding about where people were at, before diagnosis and maybe some support on the next steps

Sorry for anyone who reads this, i have more to add but it comes and goes.

Icklee
01-28-17, 09:25 AM
oh I am 24 btw

Unmanagable
01-28-17, 11:07 AM
I have been wanting to go see someone about myself but IM still umming and ahhing about going for the reason that I don't want to get in there and waste my time and the little money I can put towards this, and just end up feeling like a joke

I would just like to share a bit of my story and try to get an idea of whether people were in the same boat as me or not

Greetings, and welcome to the neighborhood. :)

Some folks are in the same boat, some have capsized and damn near drowned, some have upgraded to a yacht, others have a tribe of lifeboats in tow carrying the village it takes to keep them afloat, others are in canoes and kayaks paddling like a mofo, and some are still trying to make reservations on the Titanic.

Each one is different, yet many are the same. Each diagnosis and each treatment method will vary as much as the individual, I've found.

Weighing the odds of what may happen vs. the realistic odds of what is currently happening can tend to leave us in the analysis paralysis stages. Making the call is the only way you'll ever know for sure.

Finding a qualified health care provider who is highly fluent in understanding and treating adhd is the best bet going in that direction, it seems.

Finding complementary and "alternative" things that help healthily nurture your body and mind in addition to that makes the outcome even sweeter, especially if/when the med attempts don't work for whatever reasons, and when you're adjusting dosages and med types to manage various side effects, etc., from my experience. Best wishes in your pursuits.

Icklee
01-28-17, 11:50 AM
yeah that all makes sense, i know putting it off helps nothing. it's hard when you know you have struggled, but you just assume its like that for everyone and if it is just this hard then why can't you do it. so you kinda swing from feeling stupid to looking for a reason why.

sarahsweets
01-29-17, 09:52 AM
Hi everyone

So I have been wanting to ask a question about the time leading up to seeking a diagnosis as an adult,

I have been wanting to go see someone about myself but IM still umming and ahhing about going for the reason that I don't want to get in there and waste my time and the little
money I can put towards this, and just end up feeling like a joke

I get your concern about wasting money- but dont worry about wasting time or feeling like a joke. If someone makes you feel like a joke or that you wasted your time, tell them to go f**k themselves.


I don't know the reason surrounded why my mum took me but she was told by I would assume our family doctor that I had a mild chemical imbalance and they could try me on medication
Which she decided not to do, but I don't think I was ever formally tested for adhd/add

It would be good to ask her about your childhood, including what you mentioned here and write down what she says. You may get her memory to jog enough to share stuff you dont remember. We are notoriously bad self evaluators and it helps to have our loved ones shed light. Its easier for them to do this once they have perspective and can talk to you without feeling like they are to blame for missing something now that you are an adult.

I started off school OK, I was always easily distracted and going off task but I passed quite well until I was maybe 8 or 9,
my reports were always full of needs to apply himself, gets distracted easily, distracts others, is very bright but has trouble staying on task

This is very typical of someone with adhd or some other disorder. And I want to kick the butt of most teachers who say this, because they often do not know the damage they are doing by labeling a child with something so obtuse and dismissive.

My handwriting has never really improved, my spelling is quite poor, my reading has never been great especially out loud and I struggle with retaining information
Look into dysgraphia- my son has it and received OT and PT all the way through 10th grade. He reached a "ceiling" where no more progress was to be made and he is so self conscious about it even still.


I can't stand my job, not because its a terrible job but because I really hoped id do more with my life ,I know I am smart enough and I want to go to school and study but
I can't afford university when I know full well in my current state without help I wont succeed, I have a constant feeling of disappointment in myself and life for not doing
More with it,

Therapy can help with the feelings of inadequatecy, even if you do not have any disorder- you are still having these negative feelings about your self and its having an effect on your self esteem.


I have always been very emotional, quick to cry quick to anger and I still am but I takes something much more to set me off now IM older

Emotional regulation is a huge issue for people with adhd. It can be terrifying and debilitating.

I am not a doctor but I have adhd and I see a lot of myself in you. I am also BipolarII but I have been very lucky to have both treated very adequately and have learned to live a content life.,
I was diagnosed with adhd in first grade- at the time there was very little known about it or how to treat it. In fact the official notes say "attention disorder" Not adhd and no one knew how to treat it and my mom kind of assumed it was a personality thing and not a disorder. I was diagnosed with bipolarII at 16 and began meds for that when I was 20 or so. I began treating the adhd when I was 23 and I feel that without both of those things being treated I would not have the life have today or be the person I am today. I got married when I was 20 and had my son when I was 21 and I would never have been able to be a good wife or mother if I hadnt been proactive about my treatment. I have three kids in total and they would never have had an involved mom and healthy mom without treatment. Even with treatment, I still am an alcoholic and using alcohol was a form of self medication would have ended up being my solution instead of medical care if I didnt get the help that I need. Untreated adhd makes substance abuse a zillion times higher and treating it means you may learn how to cope through medication and therapy so that you can stop the substances that harm, and push forward with the ones that help.

Be kind to yourself. Try and see a psychiatrist.
Put the bat down- you have spent more than enough time beating yourself up over this.

Little Nut
01-29-17, 02:50 PM
What made me seek diagnosis? I had several issues that I finally decided were no longer acceptable to me and talked to someone about. For me to get the most out of this "talk" I pulled together a list of issues, supporting evidence, and my goals for the talk (what a successful talk would look like). Gave the other person a copy of it and reviewed it. Also took notes along the way.

Fraser_0762
01-29-17, 03:05 PM
Still in the process. But my inability to see things through, preventing me from achieving anything that will get me anywhere in life. Not studying anywhere near as much as I know I should, but instead worrying about it and feeling anxious over it, rather than just making myself do it. Getting no further than the 3rd or 4th page of a book, only to realize that i've not taken anything in, because my mind was occupied thinking about other irrelevant stuff. Losing things and generally being very messy. Where did I put my phone? My house keys? My Wallet? Zoning in and out of important lecturers, then trying to fill in the blanks when it comes to the exams. My poor short term memory. Getting agitated, angry and stressed over things that just come naturally to most people. Being unable to tune out of the noises around me and having a high sensitivity to the noise. Locking up during conversations because I lose my train of thought. Having a very high IQ but average grades at best. Not having any friends, because i'm not attentive enough in social situations to develop meaningful relationships. Getting an idea and obsessing over it for hours, only to lose interest and realize i've wasted away hours which could have been spent doing something meaningful..... etc

I could ramble on and on, but I think you get it.

33Forward
02-01-17, 02:07 AM
A youtube video. Actually, a few of them.
But before that:
I've been in and out of clinics since I was in 7th grade. Mostly labeled as depression and anxiety. Plenty of meds and different p-docs over the years, but no definite answers or promising results.
Fast forward to last year, when my marriage fell apart.. for many reasons, her abuse toward me being the final straw. Decided I needed to try to get back into therapy again, at least to work through all of that.
One day while getting sucked down the black hole of youtube videos, watching "hack" type modification videos... just because some were interesting. One of them explained how to make a fidget toy out of spare parts. The concept of a fidget toy to me was new, and I instantly saw a need for one. This video however, led me to a video of a "Fidget Cube", on this channel called "HowToADHD". And after watching that video, I was left with this feeling that just resonated somehow, watching someone with ADHD describe how fidget toys benefit those with ADHD. I started watching more videos on Jess's channel, and the more I watched, the more I started telling myself "Hey, I do that... what do you mean, not everyone is like that?" After awhile, a light bulb went off in my head, when I realized that there are others out there, that do things I do, that have problems I have, and it is not normal, and there is a reason why all of that stuff happens. At some point, I broke down because it all of a sudden got very real that I had stumbled onto something big and probably life-changing.

I did my own research, read tons of information, (hyperfocus FTW!) and went to my p-doc, who was trying to turn me into another case of depression, and trying to get me to take meds I had already tried without results before. I was prepared to fight my case, and had saved a list to my phone to use to support it. She heard me out, asked more questions, and came to the conclusion that maybe (just maybe) the depression was more of a byproduct of the real problem, and agreed to start down this path instead.

And here I am. Still coming to terms with all of it, working through medications, and approaching hurdles with a different perspective. Kinda scary to think, that I pretty much finally put it all together after some random video caught my attention. I don't know if it was luck, fate, coincidence, or a combo of all, but I'll take the help however it came.

Icklee
02-02-17, 02:05 AM
Thanks for sharing guys.

Currently looking through old school reports...

Apparently to reach my full potential I need to improve my time management and concentration skills.

oh and my Spasmodic work habits prevent me from realizing my full potential. and it is important that I endeavor to improve my ''on-task time'' and ignore distractions. good to know.