View Full Version : Job performance PTSD


jman05
01-30-17, 02:27 PM
Because of my add, I spent 7 years of my professional life terrified of losing my job. I got fired or laid off more times than I can count. Well a few years ago I finally found a medication that works for me and I have had good reviews and no problems since. The only problem is that I am still always terrified of losing my job and not doing well at work. Every time I get a review or called into the bosses office I am scared. Even when my boss calls me or when I do things he asks I am super sensitive and scared. I know I am doing well but just can't get over my fear.

dvdnvwls
01-30-17, 02:51 PM
Considering what happened before, it's not surprising for you to feel this way.

Have you seen a therapist or counsellor or whatever? That's one of the best things you could do, assuming you can find one who works well with you.

jman05
01-30-17, 03:47 PM
Considering what happened before, it's not surprising for you to feel this way.

Have you seen a therapist or counsellor or whatever? That's one of the best things you could do, assuming you can find one who works well with you.

I don't know if this is something that requires a therapist or a therapist could help with. I don't literally have PTSD.

dvdnvwls
01-30-17, 04:03 PM
A good therapist really could help, yes. Finding better ways to handle that kind of situation might make your life easier. This is an area that many therapists are really good at.

ToneTone
01-30-17, 09:55 PM
I hear you ... I had that problem ... way back in the past and not too long ago ... about a decade ago ...

Basically I could be doing my job fine ... and then yes, when there was a meeting or an evaluation, all of a sudden, I would get terrified ...

As others have said, it really took therapy for me to let this one go ... I think I had to learn to 1) take in good words spoken between evaluations ... So I had to learn to remember the good words spoken to me about my work ... 2) I learned how to check in with other people ... and they would bring me back to reality ... I would tell a coworker ..."Hey I'm doing this task in Y way ... not in X way. You think they'll be mad?" ... And the colleague would typically inform me that plenty of people were doing the work in the method I was using ...

3) Also, frankly, I began to evaluate myself ... and to own up to when I was doing a good job ... so I would I have a running evaluation in my head about how I was doing ... and that grounded me ...I would have my own sense of what I was doing well and what I wasn't doing so well in ... and so if I got a bad review (which didn't really occur in this time), I was grounded in my own reality ... But I really had to own up to when I was doing a good job! ... Sounds strange, I know ... But really you must credit yourself all along for doing good work ... and that strengthens resilience.

But yes, I worked on a lot of this through therapy ... But you can take some of the steps ... a good move is to start sharing your terror with coworkers you trust ... so you can get it out in public ... maybe laugh at it ... get ahold of it ...

Maybe the right title is "post bad evaluation at work ... PBEW" ...

Btw: you can also in therapy or on your own go back to the bad experience and look at it nonjudgmentally ... how did you miss the pending problem? ... What could you have done differently? ... What were you doing well? ... Being brutally honest, was the place that fired you just a bad place to work ... or did they have reason? ... And what did you learn from the experience ... You have to review nonjudmentally to get anywhere ... at least that's my experience.

Good luck.

Tone

jman05
01-31-17, 02:33 PM
I hear you ... I had that problem ... way back in the past and not too long ago ... about a decade ago ...

Basically I could be doing my job fine ... and then yes, when there was a meeting or an evaluation, all of a sudden, I would get terrified ...

As others have said, it really took therapy for me to let this one go ... I think I had to learn to 1) take in good words spoken between evaluations ... So I had to learn to remember the good words spoken to me about my work ... 2) I learned how to check in with other people ... and they would bring me back to reality ... I would tell a coworker ..."Hey I'm doing this task in Y way ... not in X way. You think they'll be mad?" ... And the colleague would typically inform me that plenty of people were doing the work in the method I was using ...

3) Also, frankly, I began to evaluate myself ... and to own up to when I was doing a good job ... so I would I have a running evaluation in my head about how I was doing ... and that grounded me ...I would have my own sense of what I was doing well and what I wasn't doing so well in ... and so if I got a bad review (which didn't really occur in this time), I was grounded in my own reality ... But I really had to own up to when I was doing a good job! ... Sounds strange, I know ... But really you must credit yourself all along for doing good work ... and that strengthens resilience.

But yes, I worked on a lot of this through therapy ... But you can take some of the steps ... a good move is to start sharing your terror with coworkers you trust ... so you can get it out in public ... maybe laugh at it ... get ahold of it ...

Maybe the right title is "post bad evaluation at work ... PBEW" ...

Btw: you can also in therapy or on your own go back to the bad experience and look at it nonjudgmentally ... how did you miss the pending problem? ... What could you have done differently? ... What were you doing well? ... Being brutally honest, was the place that fired you just a bad place to work ... or did they have reason? ... And what did you learn from the experience ... You have to review nonjudmentally to get anywhere ... at least that's my experience.

Good luck.

Tone

So did you have that problem from repeated job losses also? And how did you stop the job losses?

dvdnvwls
01-31-17, 03:20 PM
I can't speak for Tone, but for me the jobs I stay in have at least one thing in common. Everyone, but especially the boss, makes an effort to make things OK for everyone else. Mutual respect and looking out for each other. The title of that old book "I'm OK - You're OK" kind of fits here.

There's more to it, but without that I'm probably not going to last.

Little Missy
01-31-17, 03:52 PM
I have never been fired or lost a job. But no matter what job I work at and I do know they get the best out of me, I continually worry about being fired or let go and I don't know why.

Sometimes it is hard to tell which is the worst.

stef
01-31-17, 04:21 PM
i had terrible job PTSD from an awful company and it took me years to get over it, at yhe next place which was quite good;
and i left because really i wanted to something else

my current boss is terribly demanding so i developed ptsd from this, i was terrified if he even called me and said "come to my office" ( which is 95 times a day, i'm his secretary)

well finally i just got so tired of the anxiety i just decided not to be afraid. I had nothing to lose. ihe was furious over something late in the evening ( a credit card authorisarion) and the next morning i thougt, well enough of this, what if i wasn't afraid? I have no idea how to explain the circumstances that morning, which led to this thought. the anxiety was tripling my mistakes in the first place. i still make some but i just dont care as much, and everything is much better now.

dvdnvwls
01-31-17, 06:06 PM
"What if I wasn't afraid?"

That is a really important question, and it's one that people might never think to ask. I'm glad you did.

ToneTone
01-31-17, 08:02 PM
My reaction and paranoia about my job performance and evaluations was based on a series of bad reviews I got at a job about 20 years ago. I was working so so hard ... and I got some horrible reviews ... multiple ...

Of course, looking back, I can see that ADHD (which I was completely clueless about) impaired my performance. I was a mess ... So disorganized and scattered ... but didn't really have a vocabulary for that ... I was a newspaper writer and I think I busted every deadline there was ... I would do very good work ... but I could not write fast and I often couldn't figure out that the editors needed 100 words ... and I would be worrying about 500 words ...

Anyway, those reviews just freaked me out ... and left me terrified of reviews for a long time ... probably untreated anxiety and depression played a role in not being able to see that this was one context and one situation ... And doubtless untreated lack of confidence and fear of failure ... exacerbated my reactions ...

I got another job reporting and got great feedback and reviews ... and still I was paranoid ... I think there was also some lack of social confidence there ... I didn't take serious the body language of my managers ... Now I can read body language much better ... And ... these days I routinely throw out feelers on how I'm doing by talking with colleagues ... and being really open with them with what I feel is going well and what I'm worrying about.

Oh ... here's a side funny story: ... I see this looking back ... On the job where I got bad reviews ... I was once assigned to an editor who now I can see ALSO HAD ADHD ... So you had me the reporter with ADHD bouncing all kinds of unformed, scattered ideas to an editor, who himself was scattered and unfocused and weak on planning and execution ... Disaster! ... Comical in retrospect ... Baffling at the time ... Now if I were working in a job like that I would seek out an editor who was much better at reigning me in and guiding me.

Tone

meadd823
02-02-17, 01:11 AM
nursing ......encourages perfectionism and paranoia while smiling and pretending every thing is under control. Who would feel comfortable with an anxious nurse with no confidence but them again who wants a nurse who is NOT a perfectionist

Rock meet hard place ...hard place meet rock

finallyfound10
02-04-17, 02:36 PM
nursing ......encourages perfectionism and paranoia while smiling and pretending every thing is under control. Who would feel comfortable with an anxious nurse with no confidence but them again who wants a nurse who is NOT a perfectionist

Rock meet hard place ...hard place meet rock

This is so true!! Bedside nursing (which is what I'm doing now) is the worst for this, IMHO!!

I've never been fired as I quit before it gets to that point!!

Lloyd_
02-19-17, 03:32 AM
Because of my add, I spent 7 years of my professional life terrified of losing my job. I got fired or laid off more times than I can count. Well a few years ago I finally found a medication that works for me and I have had good reviews and no problems since. The only problem is that I am still always terrified of losing my job and not doing well at work. Every time I get a review or called into the bosses office I am scared. Even when my boss calls me or when I do things he asks I am super sensitive and scared. I know I am doing well but just can't get over my fear.

I used to be terrified and suffer from bad anxiety until I realized that people subconsciously pick up on this and your anxiety becomes more or less a self fulfilling prophecy. I just got to where I stopped worrying about if I'm going to get fired and focused more on just showing up on time and to work everyday and give it my 100%.

An employer normally won't fire you for giving it your all, chances are your boss/supervisor picked up on the fact you have anxiety and is just using it against you as a way to scare you into providing more work productivity. Easier said than done but don't let them get the best of you, once you start to panic then everyone smells blood in the water and you're just making a bad situation into an even worse situation. Just do your best and forget the rest I always say! :)