View Full Version : Heart and head?


excelsior
02-01-17, 06:28 PM
In one of Lynn Weiss's books, she says that it's possible for someone with A.D.H.D. to have a 'meeting of the minds' with someone that feels like falling in love. Has this happened to anyone? I met someone. We argued about whether 1421, a book about Chinese explorers coming to North America was history or pseudoscience.We talked politics. I even started watching Bob's Burgers (a whole 'nother post)

We have great TALKS, exchange IDEAS...

sarahsweets
02-09-17, 04:56 AM
Can you elaborate a little? Im not following.

kilted_scotsman
02-09-17, 06:36 AM
Yes this happens.... I feel there's a way (some/many?) ADDers communicate that's different from NT's ..... when we meet someone that "gets" the way we communicate and can communicate back it really impacts us..... if the person is also someone that we find physically attractive as well the two combine to make us think we're "In Love".

It's similar to Limerance.....

Sometimes it grows into love, othertimes we begin to see the real person behind the image we have created and fall out of limerance.

Only time will tell.... but one thing to remember is that ADDers tend to have a process of intense limerance like stimulation, followed by a crash.....

Been through it many times... sometimes it worked most times it didn't.

Little Missy
02-09-17, 09:48 AM
Oh yeah, lots of times and it is fun, Fun, FUN. :D

kilted_scotsman
02-09-17, 10:56 AM
Like Missy says ... enjoy it .... live in the present and don't fantasise about the future.

MissAnnThrope
02-16-17, 03:27 PM
In one of Lynn Weiss's books, she says that it's possible for someone with A.D.H.D. to have a 'meeting of the minds' with someone that feels like falling in love. Has this happened to anyone? I met someone. We argued about whether 1421, a book about Chinese explorers coming to North America was history or pseudoscience.We talked politics. I even started watching Bob's Burgers (a whole 'nother post)

We have great TALKS, exchange IDEAS...

Definitely. It was so stimulating and exhilarating - I considered this person my soul mate. He communicated strangely too - great leaps in logic, funny segues back and forth from topic to topic. We finished each other's sentences, could talk literally for hours.

The best thing about being with this person was how free I felt - to be myself, no holding back, no reigning it in as per usual.

It was a bit destructive in that after expereincing this, I grew to expect *all* of my friendships to be this way. Of course they weren't -- either I put others off (wanting to connect on a high level immediately, instead of letting a friendship grow organically), or else I just found others to be too boring in comparison and didn't make an effort.

It took me many years (many, many years) to realize that this kind of intense connection does not guarantee a stable, loving relationship.

This person and I are still friends. On the rare occasions that we talk (or even email) the sparks still fly. We're both still hungry for it. He hasn't found it anywhere else, and neither have I.

But we don't see each other, or talk or even email/message that often. Sad truth is that we're both "flowers" who need gardeners. So no possibilty of anything other than friendship. And our respective SOs are both jealous of what we have (guess I can't blame them), so no possibilities of being "couples" friends or whatever.