View Full Version : How do I 'define' my anxiety?


PaulCamR
02-06-17, 08:12 PM
Anxiety runs in my family. My little brother has the worst anxiety in the family... he's on disability and has psychosis that all stemmed from his anxiety. My Mom has mild OCD, but it works to her advantage, she's organized-as-F (she literally has a reputation in her profession as the most organized person ever).

Me? I'm not sure. I just don't know how to frame my anxiety in the context of ADD, low energy, and... well... do I break my anxiety down into different components? I don't even know how to research my anxiety, document it, etc.

- ADD-inattentive, low energy, and anxiety are all difficulties for me. ADD-inattentive is the main thing I am trying to treat, as the other two are manageable but feed the inattentive problems. But, I made this thread because I think I need to understand my anxiety better.
- When I'm in a new situation, I often lose my breath. Usually this is when I'm talking to someone new and who has power over something important. When I go to see the doctor about changing prescriptions, when I go to the pharmacy to pick up a new prescription, when I am at a job interview, etc.
- When I don't do my work, and go to apply myself to my work, anxiety builds that makes it almost impossible for me to focus on the work that I didn't do.
- Intense tiredness when I'm anxious about doing something extremely important.
- When I am in a new environment with new people, I actually feel myself becoming dumber. This isn't a self-talk thing. As in, I can't find the right words. I trip over my words (not due to the breathlessness). I can't think of ideas. My sentences get jumbled up. I can feel how limited my thinking is when this happens. My memory goes out the window too.
- However, if I am in that environment again another time, and I'm more comfortable, all is well.
- Stimulants (caffeine, ADD meds, pre workout powders) make me feel calm, positive (highly optimistic but not unrealistic), high energy, and low anxiety.
- My worst case of anxiety was at the end of a practicum. I became unwell (sad), my self-image was shattered, and it took me a couple months to recover. I was in a very bad situation that would have made anyone need time off. It was an unprofessional situation that was just really unfortunate. I had a lot of classmates supported me, certain faculty were released from their positions, etc. By the end of the whole thing, I could hardly keep back tears, I had nose bleeds from stress, and I couldn't meet with any supverisor-level people without choking back tears even weeks after the thing ending. Had anxiety not gotten to me, I probably could've gotten $6000 worth of tuition back due to being demonstrably mistreated, but I was really crippled for a couple months.

Pilgrim
02-07-17, 07:57 AM
IME, this is simplified but anxiety sucks. It doesn't define you and little bits at the right time are beneficial.
If it sort of rules your life that's not good either. I guess there is a genetic component but I find anxiety is a by product of something that can be dealt with. IMO

Pilgrim
02-07-17, 08:00 AM
I've also found that when I understand my anxiety, it's origins, this helps.

Laneless
02-09-17, 11:48 AM
I have adhd-I and also social anxiety. I didn't even realize I was having all of the anxiety. It would come on so quick during situations and I just thought I was awkward. Then later, is forget the emotions and fears I had been having, and I wouldn't remember it being as bad as it actually had been. Now that I notice it for what it is, I've been keeping a journal and writing out my emotions and fears and what brought them on, trying to get a better understanding.