I found these body language notes from a site awhile ago.

They might help some of us ADD/ADHD sufferers who have problems reading body language by the opposite sex showing physical interest.

Please don't quote me on these notes as I had discovered them from a website awhile ago I forget the site now.


The less you move about (body movement) when entering
a room, the more powerful and credible you are
perceived to be.

To accurately interpret a person’s body language one
must be aware of (1) the culture in which it takes
place, (2) whether the environment is professional or
personal, (3) the gender of the participant, and (4)
be sure you’re receiving more than 1 sign (the more
signs you see, the greater the possibilities are that
you’ve read her interest in you correctly).

GESTURES

* Catching one’s eye gaze, and holding it long than
what is considered normal.

* Preening - A woman may stroke her hair, twirl or
toss her hair, check her makeup in a mirror, or
rearrange her clothing.

* Moving in for the kill (cutting the space/distance
between you two) - Some signs that someone is trying
to command your attention is the pouting of the lips,
crossing and uncrossing the legs, placing the hands on
the hips, thrusting the hips out and leaning one’s
body in toward you.

* Swaying of her body and hips as she walks.

EYE CONTACT


In a business or classroom situation, hard eye contact
is possible, but you must consider the professional
setting. To help figure it out, you can look to see if
the body is turned away from you, or towards you.

SIGNS OF SEXUAL INTEREST

* Intense eye contact (which will often shift to
sexual organs, like the breast or genitalia, or
looking the intended up and down).
* An overly exaggerated or coy smile
* Concocted laughter
* Winking
* Licking the lips to wet them
* Touching oneself in a flirtatious manner
* Overtly touching the intended target
* Overtly thrusting out the breast and/or hips
* Swaying of the hips
* Wearing of revealing clothing or excessive makeup
* Slightly separating her legs (in invitation) when
seated.
* Holding her hands near her breast or thighs when
talking.
* Forward thrusting of her breast.
* Slowly licking her lips
* Hair twirl with a finger
* Lightly rubbing her neck/leg
* Lightly running a finger across her lip(s), breast
* Playing with her jewelry
* Looking at your lips when you talk
* Showing more leg then is appropriate (if in a dress)

HOW TO TELL IF SHE’S PLAYING HARD TO GET

She’ll give the SIGNS OF SEXUAL INTEREST before
turning and walking away. To determine if there’s
genuine interest, just look into her eyes. If she’s
truly attracted, her eyes will drop, but will return
to meet your gaze.

STEPS IN CREATING SEXUAL ATTRACTION

OPEN POSTURE. DO NOT cross anything ... arms, legs, or
sit or stand with hunched over shoulders.

FACE YOUR PROSPECT, making sure you’re entire body is
facing her.

THE FLIRTING TRIANGLE - When the eyes travel from the
eyes down the face, (for a more prolong period) to the
mouth, and for the more daring, the chest or genitalia
area. The more intense flirting will have one looking
from eye to eye, and make sure you concentrate on the
lips. Constantly looking at the lips will have them
wondering if you’re fantasizing about kissing them.
The wider the flirting triangle, the more sexual
interest exists.

MIRRORING - Mirroring is one of the most powerful and
influential body language skills we can possess.
Whatever moves she makes, you make, but work to not be
so obvious. The concept of mirroring is to get someone
to like you, and works as a bonding mechanism. (1)
NEVER mimic a negative movement (crossing of the arms
or legs), (2) allow at least 50 SECONDS to pass before
mirroring your target.

THE EYEBROW FLASH - When we first encounter someone
that we find attractive, our eyebrows instinctively
rise and fall in a flirtatious pattern. Recognizing
this can be very advantageous to someone looking for
romantic interest. It only last about one fifth of a
second, so one has to really be paying attention. If
you want to let someone know of your romantic
interest, magnify the eyebrow flash, coupled with a
smile.

POINTING - It’s natural for people to point at things
that draws their interest, so pay attention to their
feet and hands. On a more subconscious level, people
will position themselves so that their hands, arms,
legs, feet, toes and even their entire body at someone
they’re interested in. If you want to let someone know
you’re interested in them, turn your body towards
them.

BLINKING - Focus on her pupils, which instinctively
dilates when she sees someone, or something that
interests her. Likewise, blinking proportionately
increases with this augmentation in pupil size. It is
said that you can increase the blinking rate of your
target by blinking more yourself.

FOUR RULES FOR CREATING ATTRACTION

* If someone hasn’t picked up on your interest, or is
not responding ... Do the opposite of what she’s
doing. The opposite of mirroring ... she crosses her
arms, you uncross yours, she uncrosses her legs, you
cross yours.

* Physically invade the other person’s territory,
SLOWLY to gradually break down her defense.

* Visual intrusion. Allow the eyes to do the talking
for you. Let them sensuously linger on her lips, neck,
throat, collarbone, or breast (places you would like
to kiss her).

* Licking your lips, and narrowing of the eyes
(bedroom eyes) also stirs arousal.

* Focus your full attention on your target ONLY.


SIGNS OF LYING

* Covering the mouth. People will try to cover it with
a manufactured cough.

* Stroking the nose.

* Closed palms

* Lack of eye contact - Women tend to look up at the
ceiling and rub under their eye to not give direct eye
contact.

* Prolonged contact or heavy staring is the throw off
method of covering it up.

* She looks up and to the left ... normally, mentally
conjuring up something - she’s lying

* She looks up and to the right ... normally, she’s
recalling an image - she’s not lying

* Minute facial expressions

* Increased sweating

READING POSTURE

* Open posture and leaning forward - an indication
that she is responsive to and accepting what you’re
telling her.

* Open posture and leaning backwards - an indication
that she is evaluating the information that you are
giving her.

* Closed posture and leaning forward - an indication
that she isn’t paying any attention to what you’re
saying. She’s either skeptical or angry at what has
been said.

* Closed posture and leaning backwards - an indication
that she wants to flee the situation completely.

SHE’S REJECTING YOU IF...

* She rubs her nose
* Crosses that arms and legs
* Rubbing the hands or tugging at her ear

DATING YOUNGER WOMEN

THE SPECIFICS... WHAT, WHEN, HOW WHY, WHERE...

Here are some specific ideas for dating younger women.
REMEMBER: These are WOMEN. They're not a different
species.

1) Be Cool, Dude. When most older guys meet a younger
woman that they feel attracted to, they immediately
begin to act WEIRD. They stop acting like
"themselves". Now, women don't know what you're like
"normally", but they can tell INSTANTLY if you're NOT
ACTING LIKE YOURSELF. Us guys do all kinds of subtle
and not-so-subtle little things when we're feeling
nervous... and these things give women the HEEBIE
JEEBIES! So be cool. Relax. Don't act like a Wussbag.

2) Treat her like a BRATTY LITTLE SISTER. Now that
you're being "cool", take it to the NEXT LEVEL... Use
one of my favorite personal techniques, and treat her
like your BRATTY LITTLE SIS. Tease her. Make fun. It's
OK, go for it. Say all the things you never had a
chance to say when you were a freshman. Now's your big
chance! And don't worry about it when she plays "fake
mad". Just turn it up some more. Oh, and call her on
everything she does, or say that's immature. I can't
go into all the reasons why this is a great idea, but
it is. You keep your power, you have all kinds of
opportunities to be Cocky & Funny, and you can always
keep things interesting and challenging. Oh, and it's
COMPLETELY different than the way most Wussies treat
her... which is good.

3) Don't try to follow or get her to lead. Women in
general are not attracted to men who don't take the
lead... and younger women are no exception. In fact,
younger women have less experience in life, so trying
to get them to lead and tell you what they want you to
do is just a horrible idea. Don't do it. You lead. You
decide where you're going. You make the rules. If you
try to make her the boss, you'll run her off faster
than you can say "I touch myself."

4) Don't try to take advantage of the situation. Most
attractive young women have had at LEAST one "icky
older guy" that "tried something" with her. Younger
women are HYPER-ALERT when it comes to sketchy
behavior. If you try to take advantage of the
situation or try to "make a move" too early, you'll
most likely signal to her that you're a "perv" and
that you aren't to be trusted. Lean back. Chill. Give
her room. When you walk down the street with her, bump
into her and push her AWAY from you. Tell her not to
walk too close to you... tell her that other people
might think something. If you're alone with her in
your living room, don't sit right next to her. If she
touches you while talking, don't touch her back... or
even make fun of it and say "Keep your hands off the
goods."

5) Don't intrude on or interfere with her life. You
must remember that younger women have lives of their
own. Often they're very close to their families, and
they're unsure of how their families would respond if
they found out that their pride and joy daughter was
dating an older guy. Remember, she just got FREE of
the overbearing father... and she doesn't need a new
one. Don't call her at work, don't show up to see her
unexpectedly, and don't embarrass her. If you want to
make an attractive young woman perform magic (the
instant disappearing act), just interfere with her
life. She's free, so let her be free. Encourage it,
even. Don't interfere.

6) Let her come to you... don't chase her. If you want
to make friends with a cat, the best tactic is to
IGNORE IT. Cats are interesting creatures. Have you
ever noticed that if you chase a cat, it will run...
but if you sit and ignore it, you'll soon find
yourself pushing it off of your lap? Same goes for
younger women. Like I just mentioned, younger women
have often just "escaped" from controlling parents,
structured lives, and zero freedom. If she's attracted
to you, it's not because you're creating the
environment that she just left... it's because you
represent something different. You'll find that if you
call her all the time and chase her, she'll be harder
to get a hold of, and less likely to continue to see
you. If you let her go, let her live her life, and
make yourself more scarce, you'll be more likely to
have her pursuing YOU. Be the man that she's always
dreamed about, and then don't chase her.

7) EXPECT her to change. If you're dating a woman
between the ages of 18 and 23, you need to remember
that her life is probably going to change DRAMATICALLY
over the next few years. You need to keep an open
mind, and not try to restrict or hinder her options.
You need to expect and even encourage her to grow,
change, and become all she can be. The reality is that
the chances are SLIM that she's going to be with you
in a few years. In fact, the chances are slim that
she's even going to be the same person in a few years.
Get over it, and be OK with it. Challenge her to grow,
achieve, and be her best... and don't accept
second-class behavior from her. But she's going to
change, so expect it.

8) Be CHIVALROUS. Most younger women have had VERY FEW
men in their lives who even know what the word
"Chivalry" means. If you're one of those men, then you
need to LEARN what the word means. Opening doors,
walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out
chairs makes a BIG impression on younger women. When
you combine a masculine, powerful presence with
chivalry, you will stand out and make yourself VERY
intriguing and attractive.

9) Stay totally calm in the face of drama. Younger
women often have a lot of drama happening around them,
and they often act dramatic. I could write an entire
book about all the things that a young woman has going
on around her that are TOTALLY UNSTABLE... And the
most influential one is the other people in her life.
If she freaks out about something, don't let it get to
you. Stay cool and calm. Don't try to fix all her
problems, and don't try to stand in for her dad. She
isn't looking for advice, so don't give it to her
(unless she asks seriously, and in a non-emotional
tone). One of the things that makes you attractive as
an older man is the stability that you bring. So BRING
IT.

10) Be conscious of how often you see her and speak
with her. Younger women are less in-control of their
emotions... and can become attached more quickly and
easily. The "trigger" for a woman "becoming attached"
is how often you see her and talk to her. If you want
to trigger the "relationship" mechanism, spend a lot
of time with her. If you DON'T want to trigger those
emotions, you need to limit the time you spend with
her. As a rule of thumb, don't see her more than once
a week, and don't talk to her more than once or twice
a week unless you want her to start becoming very
attached to you. And I don't care what you SAY... it's
the AMOUNT OF TIME you spend with her that makes this
determination. Trust me.

UNDERSTAND ATTRACTION: As always, the most IMPORTANT
thing you must understand when dating younger women is
how ATTRACTION WORKS. If you don't understand
ATTRACTION, then none of what I just taught you will
make a damn bit of difference... In fact, if you don't
understand ATTRACTION, then most of the things I just
taught you above will probably BACKFIRE on you. So
what's the best way to learn how to make women feel
ATTRACTION for you? In fact, what's the fastest, most
efficient, most complete, most EFFECTIVE way to learn
how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you available in
the world? Do the opposite of what you think you
should do to win her over. If you put a young,
beautiful woman in a guys house on his couch, he
doesn't know the FIRST THING about how to make her
feel ATTRACTION for him. He'll do things to please
her, hoping that at some point she begins to get "into
the mood"... and then somehow lets him know. It will
NEVER HAPPEN. But if that guy knows the secrets of how
to make a woman feel ATTRACTION... and how to smoothly
take things to a physical level without triggering
resistance and rejection... then he will be successful
almost every time.

AN IRONIC PROLOGUE: As I sat in Starbucks writing this
newsletter on my laptop, across from me is a couple
sitting at a table talking. And guess what? He's
obviously older. He's probably in his early 30s. She
looks and sounds like she's around 19 or 20 years old.


It's obvious that this is the first time that they've
met (they're wrapping up their conversation, and she
just said "It was nice meeting you"). He wasn't saying
much, and she was basically doing all the talking...
and boy was she ever talking. About a million miles a
minute...

She was leading the entire conversation, and he was
trying to be a "nice guy" and let her lead things.

She was talking about what life was like before she
moved away from her parents.

She was saying "My parents were overbearing" and
talking about what it was like to live at home. The
guy was sitting there nervously talking to her... and
fidgeting. She was asking him questions like "What is
your family like", and he was trying to give her "good
answers" like "My family is nice, and my parents are
sweet" etc.

It was obvious that she was trying to keep the
conversation going, and he was trying his best not to
"say anything stupid"... he was trying to seem like a
"nice guy". At one point when she asked him a
question, he sat forward, turned his hands up in the
air in a "I'm just a regular guy, nothing special
here" gesture, and answered about himself.

They just got up and left. It was PAINFULLY CLEAR to
me that this guy did NOT understand what to do in this
situation. He probably met her online in a chat or on
a personals website. He was probably all excited about
meeting her. He probably offered to take her to
dinner, and paid for an expensive meal... and maybe
even a movie before winding up at Starbucks. He
probably has no idea whether or not she is interested
in him, and he will probably go home tonight wishing
he would have kissed her... and wishing he would have
"made a move". He didn't get it. DON'T BE THAT GUY!

One thing to look for when you are unsure of a woman’s
interest is whether the woman is tightly clasping
their hands together or crossing their feet at the
ankles underneath their chairs (almost putting their
feet behind them). These are signs that they are
feeling anxious and are trying to maintain control
over themselves. The hand clasping is a more certain
signal (in my experience). The woman is usually
standing when she does this (because she cannot cross
her ankles and be ladylike). So, if you move closer,
she may make nervous eye contact with you (if you are
the reason why she is feeling that way). If you move
farther away she may relax a bit and try to check you
out. If she doesn't change her posture after you
change your position, she is probably not thinking
about you/attracted to you.

I should also have mentioned that you can look at
which direction their feet are pointing, and in which
direction they are aiming their torsos. Tonight, a
woman who was very interested in me sat down and
talked with another man for about five minutes.
Nonetheless, wherever I stood in the room, her feet
managed to point toward me. She continually shifted
her position so that I remained in her eyesight. But
she did not flip her hair, adjust her clothing, rub
her legs, thrust her breasts out at me, or smile at
me, or send any of the classic "I am interested in
you" signals (she is probably 30ish). She was very
cool, very subtle. I already knew beforehand she was
interested in me but I was somewhat amused AND amazed
to see how she maintained that non-verbal connection
with me while maintaining a full conversation with the
other man (and SHE was doing most of the talking).
Women send signals men just never realize are there. I
am sure the other guy thought she was into him. She
was just being polite and answering his questions.

SELLING AND INFLUENCING

They’re possibly interested in buying if they are ...
maintaining eye contact, turning their body towards
you, nod their head in agreement to what you have to
say.


INCREASING THE PROBABILITY OF A SALE

* Stand up when greeting someone

* Study their formality and energy level and match
them with your own

* Put forth a strong and effective handshake

* Convey open and relaxed posture

* Allow your body language to match your words

* Move closer to your target

* Keep your hands in neutral position, and never point

* Use leaning to your advantage:

- LEAN IN to display interest;

- LEAN BACK when you’re making a point to be taken
seriously; and

- MAINTAIN NEUTRAL POSTURE when discussing prices.

* Allow brief silences

* Make a lasting impression - Stand up straight, give
a firm handshake, and maintain good eye contact when
closing a deal.

well this is all targetted at older men trying to win dates with 18-23 year old women.

I had a ton more to say about that and the whole article, but my screen kept catching fire.

Oh right that reminds me, shower then bed. Gnyte.

From what I read, only the bottom part specifies older men dating younger women.

The upper portion is for all scenarios as body language is body language no matter what the age.

Well, the bottom portion is almost 2 x size of top, but that's not actually the important part.

The really important bit is that some of the stuff in that article is ok and some is completely bogus, so I guess you should keep that in the back of your mind as you read it. Maybe read it more for fun than fact.

Well, the bottom portion is almost 2 x size of top, but that's not actually the important part.
The really important bit is that some of the stuff in that article is ok and some is completely bogus, so I guess you should keep that in the back of your mind as you read it. Maybe read it more for fun than fact.Yeah... they do not even cover important body language like:
She picks her nose while you are talking and comments on the consistency of the booger
Belches at the table
Grabs the waiter's butt
After twirling her Hair (indicating interest) then proceeds to peel the split ends
Ducks her head behind the menu after some guy enters the restaurant
Plays footsy with you under the table

And so much more... heck I am going to write a dating guide!

OH NO, NOT THE SPLIT END PEELING!!!!!!!

DOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!

How about:

she visits the ladies at some point on the date
she pulls out her wallet when the bill comes and offers to share
Adjusting her skirt after she sits down
swallows some water the wrong way and has coughing fit
salts her food THEN peppers it...

Yes... those are important! I missed those!



Then there is:

Crossing her eyes and sticking the fork and spoon up her nose then barking like a seal (This is a bad sign if she is half your age!)

Speaking backwards the whole evening is another problem.
"apmarg! trevrep dlo na era uoy knith I!"

Then...if she picks her beard nervously and uses the men's room... that is some pretty problematic body language.

Boy... they really missed the important stuff

For the guys, body language and phrases to show interest should include:

Clapping three times and shouting "I am a pretty boy!" (with a Lithuanian accent)
Will let her know you want to flirt.

Comenting that "an old fashioned girdle" would work better for her than a low carb diet.. shows that you are sensitive to the health needs of a woman

Talking about the general state of your bowels over the last three week period will tell her that you are tune with your body and strive for health.

Leaning in really close and and telling her about what it was like when you were her age (in the forties with food rationing and a war on) will impress her.


You know crime scene... we should write this guide together! It will help millions of older guys score with younger chicks :)

oh yeah, well that's what I'm all about!

where's the guide for dating older women?:confused:

sure just do every thing for younger women in reverse :-p

Signs you date did not go well
1. when you try to kiss her she reaches down to tie her shoes(she is wearing slip ons)
2. instead of holding your hand she holds the hand of the man at the next table.
3. she is balancing her check book.
4. at the drive in movie she is writing a letter to another guy in another state(this one actully happened to me:()
5. she reaches in her puse and puts on a wedding ring.
6 she reaches in her purse and pulls out mace and holds it for the rest of the night.