View Full Version : Being evaluated for OCD in combination with ADHD

03-02-17, 10:51 PM
I've recently just started being evaluated for OCD by my therapist (my psychiatrist agrees with her hypothesis about me having it) , which I'm a bit confused about, mostly because isn't axiety a component of OCD? I mean I do in hindsight have ritual behaviors but there seems to be no axiety and the ritual behaviors only impede my productivity but doesn't cause axiety or stem from axiety unless I'm missing something about OCD.

03-02-17, 10:54 PM
What kind of ritual behaviors are you talking about?

Is it possible that you aren't aware of negative emotions or anxiety? But that you actually do experience it?

03-03-17, 12:03 AM
What kind of ritual behaviors are you talking about?

Is it possible that you aren't aware of negative emotions or anxiety? But that you actually do experience it?

I'm only calling them ritual because they're routines that have to happen in a certain order or I can't move on to the next task. Like my cleaning routine for my apartment, it goes Vaccuume vinyl floors, swiffer floors, dust table and chairs, dust shelves, dust entertainment center, bathroom mirrors ect, and I I can't complete dust table because I don't have a rag for it I cannot move on to bathroom mirrors, I have washed an entire load of towels to get a clean rag to dust and have ended up waiting 1hr to do so. I've tried to move on to the next task but I can't get the motivation to do it?

Or I give myself a time to start a task but if I pass the time I can't do it, even if it's just 1min pass, no motivation/will/desire to do the task which was horrible for writing essays in high school when there were deadlines for things like outlines and rough drafts and I'd miss them.

I have had trouble when cleaning at work when the teacher I worked with rearranged her classroom after winterbreak because I cleaned it in a certain order and when it was rearranged I would forget if I cleaned that table or this shelf because I no longer had a workable routine to clean the room by and ended up cleaning a few things twice(often having a oh wait I already cleaned this moment after I've already sprayed the table down)

I often when bored and waiting in line or waiting for an appointment and have nothing to do I either calculate how many full ceiling panels are present in the room, have an internal music Playlist of 1 song that no matter how hard I try to think of a new song it gradually turns into the song of the day, which is annoying when its JG Wentworth commercial song.

When I lock the front door before I go to work, I check that it's locked once just so that I remember that I locked the door, because if I don't I get halfway to work and have a 'crap I can't remember if I locked the door moment' which I usually end up worrying about because I have a cat and my apartment door blows open if it's not locked. Ironically I never check it before I go to bed because I automatically lock the door when get in.

I always put my keys in a box next to the door, if I don't I loose them and spend hours looking for them.

If something throws off the timing of my cleaning/closing routine at work I often forget stuff at work as well like glasses/keys/wallet.

If I have a established routine that works(like a morning get ready for work) and I forget to do one part of it the entire routine breaks down and it's next to impossible to establish a new one. Things with routines and the inability to move on to a new task or maintain a routine after breaking it once is frustrating

Other things I have are my books, have to be largest to smallest and widest to smallest, hardcover next to hardcover, paperback next to paperback, leather bound on bottom shelf only, DB/DBZ small bottom shelf only because it looks the nicest that way.

I love putting colors into spectrums, there's something very satisfying about it, when at a previous job where parents dropped their kids off while they go shopping, I'd have 1-2 hrs of spare time and I wasn't allowed to read/draw ect so I would spend it sorting all the crayolas into a spectrum for hours, over and over again, that or grab locks of hair in search of blonde ones and then try to follow the blonde hair as high as I could go to see if it was a true blonde hair or a sunbleached hair, or fold paper airplanes with exact perfect folds and start over if not exact.

I hate the feeling of graphite on paper so I use pen but if I make a mistake using pen I have to write the entire thing over on a new sheet of paper because crossed out words look horrible. Mistakes being misspelled words, ill formed letters(I write in cursive so if I don't form it right it doesn't look as nice).

Chalk boards are horrible and should not exist, chalk should not exist. The sound of chalk on a chalkboard gives me a squiky feeling and writing with chalk is worse because the texture is horrible especially if my nails touch it and I feel that squicky sensation crawl up my spine and a ear irritation/itchy feeling too that is brought on by just thinking about writing with chalk. So i prefer soft pastels to hard ones because hard pastels feel like chalk. I hate blending soft chalk pastels with a paper or paper towel because of the sensation, I have to use my fingers

Also graphite on skin or my fingers is horrible feeling that and oil pastel.

A lot of my organizing and counting seem to stem from not wanting to be be in the state of boredom

03-04-17, 01:45 AM
I feel like the wiley coyote who just ran off the cliff several feet and just decided to look down.
At work I noticed I straighten the tables, even if they're not that readily off(like off by only 2-3cms) and that I straighten the color pencils everytime I pass them or at least check to see if they need straightening.
So I decided to see at the end of the work day with only 30mins left of work what would happen if I didn't straighten the tables and tge color pencils. It was surprisingly difficult, it irritated me like a grating sensation of a gear not fitting quite right in a clock, I ended up having to at least straighten the color pencils before I could vaccuume but managed to leave without straightening tge tables and for some reason the tables not being straight right now at work agitates me because they could have been straight.

I also decided to, clean in a slightly different order st work which was also surprisingly difficult to even start (I spent 5 mins just talking myself into just taking out the trash) because I started with taking out the trash first, that entire tike after that it just felt squicky cleaning despite that everything else in my closing cleaning routine was tge same

03-04-17, 12:53 PM
So... What you're describing is that you do have lots of negative emotional reactions if things don't go "just so".

When you first said there weren't really any negative emotions, apparently you meant "... as long as everything goes perfectly, which I always make sure it does". :)

03-04-17, 10:08 PM
So... What you're describing is that you do have lots of negative emotional reactions if things don't go "just so".

When you first said there weren't really any negative emotions, apparently you meant "... as long as everything goes perfectly, which I always make sure it does". :)

I do, which I didn't realize because I never saw a reason to change how I do things and how I do things tended to work out in general until it doesn't which in turn frustrates me.

I didn't noticed how much it impacted my general ability to get things done untilI sat down and asked myself 'why do I need to do this or do that in this particular order? And why can't I move on unless it's done in sequentially?' and then forced myself to do it differently which either results in unpleasant grating feeling, irritation, and agitation or a complete inability to do the task at all.

But does irritation, agitation, and frustration to the point of being unpleasant and impedes responsibility/work/ability to complete tasks considered OCD? I'm no expert and but everything that I've read on it and what I've understood from that is axiety is a key component of either the obessive thoughts/behaviors or compulsions.

Or does me doing tasks in specific sequential routines and making things go just so to avoid the unpleasantness constitute as an axiety of sorts that stems from being unable to have things just so and avoid it by performing tasks in the same order and when unable to not even start the next task or in the case of a establish routine discontinue it altogether?

03-14-17, 04:57 PM
This'll just turn into my helpful keep track of things I notice and my experience just because most of tge time I see my therapist my ADHD meds have worn off and I tend to jist answer questions with little thought to tge question itself.

Without further ado my worries about my health have cropped up full force this week because last week I didn't have enough money to buy food and I rsn out of my vitamins the week before so I was living off 2 protein bars a day jntil last Friday which was less that 1000 cals. A day. Which is not good because i have a high metabolism to begin with, my adderall makes me burn even more, and I bike to and from work which is 5miles a day. So now I'm sitting here recovering and I know my weakness and dizziness when standing up intially is because I haven't recovered calorie and nuitriiet wise but i still think heart problems and blood pressure problems due to heart problems, i mean yes low blood pressure maybe but due to lack of sufficient diet not actual problems in terms of a structual abnormality excaberated by adderall or congestive heart failure induced by a higher blood pressure and/or higher heart rate induced by adderall.

Interesting enough I don't have these worries when my adderall is effective it's only when it wears off does this become a problem. Ive had the congestive hesrt failure freak out before but only aftef the Adderall has worn off? Which i thought adderall would actually make this worse when its working?

This sideeffect worrying thing I've always done.... I just don't read the side effects anymore, but mh pharmacist insisted on telling me the warning signs symptoms because it was a new prescription x__x

And that above I just assumed it was normal to worry about side effects of the potentially dangerous which I guess is normal but i guess not to the I have congestive heart failure degree, it doesn't help i love medical conditions and researching them

03-15-17, 06:23 PM
Today my mom brought me to my therapy appointment so I let sit in with me which was interesting because my therapist was interested in seeing what might my mom might have noticed in my childhood and also asked her some of tge same questions she asked me.

What my therapist said she has been seeing is that I get caught in a thought loop like when I had to scoop the litter box "I need to scoop the litter box, why haven't you scoop the litter box, scooping only takes 5mins,it's been 20 you could have done it by now, you're an adult why haven't you, you need to scoop the litter box" or "I'm restless I can't focus, i need to go walk, i don't have my ipod, i can't walk, i want to read, i can't read, I'm restless i can't focus".

Then there's the everthing must be done in a specific order or it doesn't happen, essentially It all happens or I don't do it all i must be able to complete the task and in that order or it doesn't get done at all.

03-19-17, 03:41 PM
I have OCD I wash my hands offen i have ADHD I have a hard time making any kind of plans I don't really know how to enjoy relaxing things. I know I have low self esteem as well.