View Full Version : ADD couples


BarnabyKettle
03-03-17, 12:26 AM
Is anyone else in a relationship with another ADDer? My wife and I both have it. It's great because we really understand what's going on with each other but boy do we struggle to get stuff done. We don't have that one partner that has it together (well, you know, more than an ADDer anyway). Does any one else know the struggle?

dvdnvwls
03-03-17, 12:57 AM
My wife and I also both have ADHD.

For many years before that, I did have that one partner who had it together. Our life was basically one big complaint session about how I didn't have it together, and when was I going to get there. Stuff still didn't get done, but one of us was angry and bitter about that, instead of trying to solve anything. (Well, she tried to solve the "problem" that I was broken and a bad husband, but we know how that turns out.)

BarnabyKettle
03-03-17, 01:22 AM
My wife and I also both have ADHD.

For many years before that, I did have that one partner who had it together. Our life was basically one big complaint session about how I didn't have it together, and when was I going to get there. Stuff still didn't get done, but one of us was angry and bitter about that, instead of trying to solve anything. (Well, she tried to solve the "problem" that I was broken and a bad husband, but we know how that turns out.)

Yeah, I guess that's it exactly, I do feel lucky that we both really understand each other. When I get cranky at her I realise that I've probably done the exact same thing to her twice today so I can't stay mad. It does have it's benefits.

sarahsweets
03-03-17, 05:24 AM
My husband and I and all three kids all have adhd. We have been together since I was 18, married for 21 years. I dont know think I could love anyone else as much as I love him.

BarnabyKettle
03-03-17, 03:17 PM
My husband and I and all three kids all have adhd. We have been together since I was 18, married for 21 years. I dont know think I could love anyone else as much as I love him.

That's so nice! I feel the same about my wife. You're household must get pretty crazy! We've only got one kid and she's only 18 months old, pretty sure ADD is on the cards for her though, she tends to run rings around other kids her age, haha. Lots of fun to come.

aeon
03-03-17, 06:15 PM
Is anyone else in a relationship with another ADDer?

Yep, and I thank the stars above for who she is and the fact she loves me and I love her in return. :yes:

The stuff she says makes my heart melt and my mind spin, and I do a happy dance.


I am Hers and She is Mine,
Ian

sarahsweets
03-04-17, 05:25 AM
I have found that being in a relationship with and adhd partner can highlight where my deficits are and in turn I am able to lean on him for those deficits and he can in turn lean on me for his deficits.
Like, he would have no way at keeping the kids on track with their schedules if I didnt do it. I dont have anything written down to teach him, I just know who has what and when. I write it all on a huge wall calender but I dont think he remembers to check it. He also cant plan meals and shop for them and get enough for everyone. I know how to shop and prepare meals so that there is enough for everyone + one night of leftovers, or enough for an extra guest. He loves to gourmet cook but when he does he still struggles to get enough. I on the other hand am terrible with remembering to account for money spent and up until recently I was trying to make that my job also but we decided that he would do it. We got this nifty notebook thats like a giant check register and he reconciles it every night, rather than the wing it approach that was mine.