After having a confrontation (non-violent, but it could have turned ugly quick) with a neighbor over his speeding and reckless driving in our neighborhood that is full of children including my own, my wife tells me that I don't get along well with my neighbors. So I made a quick mental note on all the disputes that I have had with my neighbors over the past six 1/2 years that we have resided together and she might have a point. In the last year I have called the police twice on neighbors for having loud partys and the HOA at least half a dozen times for various violations ( speeding, noise). This follows five years at our last residence when I had dozens of calls and e-mails to what I thought was a inept HOA resulting in the firing of one of the HOA managers for failing to enforce the covenet. Is my ADD making me the neighborhood jerk or is this the other peoples problem. Anyone else have this experiance? Capt Kylos:mad:

capt kylos you can go to the HOA and ask for speed bumps to be put in.
My HOA just put them in the neighborhood.
Speeding was a problem here too. Good Luck.

I understand you feeling frustration with the HOA.
For not doing a better job of making sure the rules are followed.
You pay the money follow the guidelines then you see others not doing it.

Most neighbors are inconsiderate morons. I've lived in 5 different states and everywhere I go it never ceases to amaze me that stupid people can actually get a mortgage.
In a rental neighborhood you expect a certain amount of trashy stupid behavior....but when all of the people are paying a hefty bank loan I would expect that they would at least have a little respect for their neighbors.....but no, they steal your garbage cans, zip in and out of the neighborhood like they have someone in the car dying on their way to the ER.

I don't think you are the neighborhood jerk. Being the NH jerk would be whacking the hood of a speeding car with a baseball bat as they speed by you.

Boy Capt. Kylos I could really go to town on this post. You said "neighborhood jerk". How bout neighborhood (of) jerks. That's what it sounds more like to me. Sad to say, it's really different these days. People don't have manners and respect for others and their property anymore. Everyone just thinks of number one and screw everybody else. Sad to say, it's not just your neighborhood but everywhere. There is no such thing as loyalty and respect anymore. Kids are selfish monsters and grow up to be selfish monstrous adults. I'm not saying everyone is like this, but it seems like decent people are getting far and few between. No one likes to make waves either. Everyone just sits back and lets things happen so they don't have to risk sticking their neck out(HEAVEN FORBID). And then the thing about God, oh don't get me started. HE's becoming non-existant. I get frustrated with people too but I also realize it's an uphill battle so I try to choose my battles wisely. When I get really hot over a situation I try to think it out and calm down before I react. I try to think about the consequences of my actions. Sometimes I've written notes or made calls anonymously and believe it or not, a few times situations were improved.

I do have to tell you something funny that I did one time though on impulse. It didn't hurt anyone but it sure brough results. About 6 years ago they were redoing our sewer and water lines in the street. It was messy and loud at times but for the most part it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There was just this one day when they were jackhammering the street and it happened to be around 6:00 in the morning. My daughter was young and sleeping and she woke up freaking out. I got so frustrated that I waited until dark when the men were done. I took a marker and a huge piece of paper. On the paper I wrote a nice polite note to please try to jackhammer a little later in the morning and that they woke my young child up and frightened her. I signed the note "A tired Mommy". I took some duct tape and plastered that note right across the back window of one of their backhoes that they left for the night. I'll tell you what, I never heard a jackhammer before 7:00am ever again here. I also think it's the way you go about things. I know I was a bit drastic there, but I used kind words and got results. My friends laugh when I tell them I did that. My husband was in stitches laughing. I think that just may have been an ADD moment for me for sure. Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. I just couldn't help respond to your post. Good luck with your "neighborhood of jerks". They are everywhere, believe me. For me, it's the tone I take in dealing with them and choosing my battles wisely. Have a great weekend. Dee

Wow I must be having a greater ( if only short lived) impact on the reckless speed demons in the HOA than I could have imagined. Yesterday afternoon right after people started getting off of work I took my video camera and a chair out to my front yard and started recording people who were speeding or running the stop sign. As soon as people saw what I was doing, people ( including the guy who told me I was a bad parent for wanting a street that my daughter could ride her bike on. I live on a circle culdasac for petes sake.) started using turn signals and coming to complete stops, even the useual blasting music was lowered. I think that Dee's story of useing polite and resourseful tactics is more likely to work than the confrontational route. I will continue my social experiment and see how it goes. Capt Kylos

I am pretty good in a neighborhood type setting.

Although things got kinda tense :eyebrow: when I refused to rake the leaves. I just thought that they were too pretty (all the colors :rolleyes: ) And of course if a wind came up and blew them on the other properties, um well, you get the idea. Most men like to rake at the first sign of a leaf blowing in the wind. :faint:

Then there was the issue of the birds. I liked feeding birds. and i loved lots of trees and shrubs and flowers and gardens. The guy who bought my house pulled up everything. Well, he is fitting in with the rest of the mowers and rakers and neighbors

Okay, I am not great at camp either. I hate the noise and music and yelling and guys' stuff. i want to sit and daydream and ponder...

Nor am I social at a camp fire, either. Most people don't want to talk about the things that i want to talk about. And so I keep to myself and strike up a conversation with the quite ones or my dog or myself :D or anyone who dares to walk by.

whats the HOA, and yea I would say be kind to your naibore abit more be more leaniatn of course I don't know what he is like but don't dob him in for every little offence.

I was very kind to him: I MOVED ;) and now we are the best of friends. Besides, I couldn't keep up with all of the work.

I agree, being considerate of others while living in a neighborhood is important.

btw, what does HOA mean?

HOA stands for home owners association Ichpuchtli. I not going to report my neighbors for minor covent violations, but speeding 10- 20 mph over speed limit endangers my kid and I will do anything I can to stop that. Capt Kylos

Capt Kylos if there is a real danger to your kid then you should do everything you can to protect him. However you can always solve the problem yourself by asking your kid to play at the park, or in the yard but never on the road. Is your reprimanding of your neighbours really about protecting your kid?

Your friend, Hugh

I like my neighbors; we just plopped in randomly from out of state a few years ago and landed in an amazing neighborhood. I am smart enough not to get too involved to insure some privacy, but I could count on anyone of them in a pinch. We have fun parties and hang out drinking wine in front of our houses on nice summer nights.

BTW a few weeks ago I was driving in another neighborhood full of kids; in the middle of the street they had set up two triangle shaped yellow signs about 100 yards apart with a "kid's playing" sort of symbol on them. They reminded me of those "wet floor" signs you see in public places.
I thought it was pretty bold but you had to slow down to steer around the signs!!

This is absolutly about protecting my child and the dozen other children that live nearbye. I live in a residental culdesac not some busy main road. My kid and the nieghbors kids have the right to be able to play in front of their house with out being endangered by speeding vehicles. Why is it O.K. for someone to plow down anyones street. Children can play in the park but they still have to cross the street to get there. And yes Hugh my reprimanding of my neighbors is about safety, the safety of everybody. I would much rather mind my own business than get in my neighbors grill but nobody else in our little piece of realestate has the B***S to stand up to people who are BREAKING THE LAW. Capt Kylos:mad:

capt kylos You can go to the Town Hall.
And ask to have a "Children At Play" sign put up.
If there isn't one up already.

I agree with you children should be able to ride a bike along the side of the road.
Without adults speeding by in there cars in neighborhoods.
Not only that balls roll into the street kids run after them.
The list of why people shouldn't speed in neighborhoods is endless.

Good Luck I hope this is resolved soon.
It's summer all kids should be outside playing and having fun.

I have NEVER had neighbors I relate to...ever... In apartments (and I've moved so many times, it can be on the borderline of 'absurd'), I've had to deal with people that 'just weren't there', as far as cohesive, social traits. I had one guy who used to blow dry his hair in the stairwell, who also would blast his native, foreign music at 2am regularly...I had someone who would insist on jumping from furniture, to the 'floor', which happened to be above me...no joke.. ( I actually wished so hard for him to 'be gone', and it worked, for a while, much to my paranoia in thinking he was dead for two months, but was only on reserve duty), to 'house' neighbors that were older than the gods...that I had nothing in common with...except to wave constantly to, while they watched every move I made...
I've resigned myself to not caring if I get along with the 'neighbors' or not. I pay my rent, and am not obnoxious...and know more about state statutes than I ever let on...so they can pound salt..
Nova

Capt Kylos I respect your desire to protect the people that you love. And I am sorry if I came across the wrong way, I have been accused of being tactless before (I do have ADD).

However at some point you have to ask yourself "If I'm getting into this many arguments with people is it that I am the common denominator." Your neighbours are good people like yourself and a lot of people with add- including myself- start arguements because they find it stimulating, its dramatic it offers the opportunity to show strong emotion. The brain has to work at high speed and there is a sort of point scoring system that is not there in normal life i.e. "yeh that was a good point I raised." All I was trying to say before you attacked me man was that you and I both have to ask ourselves hey if we are getting into arguements often, something which leaves us feeling terrible afterwards mabe we should ask ourselves is it that people are all terrible or is it that we are partially responsible ourselves.

Your friend, Hugh

I agree with a lot of your points Hugh and I don't want to come across as attacking you for your veiwpoints. Yes I have a large role to play in these neighbor disputes but I do get along with most of my neighbors. Like the elderly Latino couple that lives next door. And even though they speak very little english and I speak very little spanish we have a great relationship. I will pull weeds in his side of the lawn and shovel his walkway when it snows and they reciprocate in kind. I get along great with my neighbors across the street and the house caddie corner. The neighbors on the west side of my house have given me problems in the past ( loud partys and noise between midnight and 5 am, barking dogs) but now we have a mutual understanding and respect that has lasted for over 4 months. I know that my ADD plays a role in how I deal with people in general ( being overly sensitive to noise, not letting minor things "go", not taking critisism well) but I dont think I am the neighborhood tyrant either. When you invest 215,000 in a home in an area that has rules to insure that the neighborhood retains it's value ( no junk cars, poorly maintained yards, partys or drug brothels) and when you sign that morgauge the rules are spelled out in writing there is no excuse to live there if you are not going to follow the rules. There are other places that don't have covenets for those who do not want to. Capt Kylos

K Kylos:
'when you sign that morgauge the rules are spelled out in writing there is no excuse to live there if you are not going to follow the rules.'

Just from my own view...I really, do detest, and will continuously battle, the so called 'homeowners assocation'...
Not telling anyone to jump on any bandwagon, cutie, nor am I promoting hate..other than my own..for that so called organization.
Respectfully pointing out that all my mortgages have been for $300,000,00 plus. I have outstanding credit..but it doesn't mean I'm in perpetual harmonic concordance, with those, who feel destined to run the 'show', because it is ALL they define themselves to be...
If I am able to own it, and abide by zoning policies of that municipality, and get the necessary permits allotted, for required changes, I do not feel obligated by rules of the 'fossil gods', as far as I'm concerned..as far as whether I can put up a privacy fence...to keep their nosy as* away from whatever I may be doing..or regard their
'newsletters' as spam, and diligently ascribe them to be so, with the Federal Governmental 'mail' protocol.
And this will really kick your cute butt...with all due respect, but I don't balance a checkbook, either...and I'm financially secure..nonetheless...with no backlash known to bank or man (or 'fossils')..
To each his own.
Nova

I think you are on target Hugh. I also have been in the Captains shoes and I also seem to feel if I don't find my b***s and do something it may get out of hand. I think some of us just want to make a difference and we learn not to wait for the other person to do it. I would be proud of your self Capt'n, but also keep things in check so that you retain the neighbors respect. My wife likes to say "pick your battles". My HOA is just petty about everything. A classic car project in a 3 car garage. They think if the door is up the car should be screened from view? It's a 63 Chevy NovaSS Convertible...it's a work of art in progress..lol. I never leave a mess beyond the day I work on it. They can be evil...IMO. Breathe Robert breathe......

This is a thread I can relate to ,Usually I get along with my neighbors but once in a while things get out of hand .Currently I live on a court with 5 homes on it, each home has 2 acres .well ,the neighbor at the end ,no kids grown up and gone ,had a ballet studio in their home ,many ,many cars zipping to the end of the court like they were on the way to the emergency room,recital nights and cars parked on everybodys lawns so I mention to him that I have small kids and I'm worried that they could be injured riding bikes and such ,he replied that he had a license for the school ,-so I went online and inquired about his license and the fact that he and his wife could be seen leaving the court but school was in full session .Well ,they ,the county investigated and were found in default because yes they were allowed to have the school but they had to be the teacher ,-they had hired someone to teach the class .license cancelled -nieghbor no longer speakes or looks at me -then- his yard backs right up to park land and so to have his minunum 2 acres he has a strip of land about 500 ' long 20 ft. w. and it is across the street from my 300' ft. road frontage and he quits mowing the grass only in front of my house and mows the rest .well -I know county law and it states that you must mow the 20' ft boundry of your property ,-so if you want a medow you can have it -so we call the county again -he mows it now :D

also neighbor behind me ,when he moved in I told him that my land extented beyond the privacy fence by about 4' -fence is 300' long - and that when the fence fell down -it was very old ,I was going to install the new one 6 inchs from the prop line -6 months later 50 ft. blew down in a wind storm and was destroyed so I go rent a post hole digger and start laying out new posts,he comes home and starts screaming at me that I'm on his property and trespassing ,I calmly remind him of what I said to him when he moved in and had remind him since then , I went in for lunch and while I'm sitting down eating a sandwhich I see the police in my back yard ,I go out to see what fuss is and they reply that they are there because he called ,and I remind them that this is a civil matter and not a police matter and they replied they mediate disputes and I replied that they can do it from his property and to get off my land -anyway -neighbor called a surveyor and I agreed to wait for the results -turns out the fence was 8 ft in on my property and the neighbor now wants be nice and let me put it where I was going to the first time -no dice I said -you' have whined ,and created a hassle and the fence is going up 6 inces from the property line so donn't touch it ,lean anything against it ,ot pile brush up against it ,---I really do get along with reasonable people though :D

William, you got to love it!;)