Personal Internet Safety

Here at the ADD Forums, we cannot emphasize too much the importance of being safe on the internet. Some of our guidelines directly reflect that concern, such as not using your real name or giving out your e-mail address.


Here are some personal tips for your safety that you can start using immediately.


Don't be a target for abuse. Be aware that while not everyone out there is a bully or a predator, you need to be able to spot them.


We do not tolerate harrassment or bullying here. If you have any problems or have questions please contact an administrator or a moderator immediately.





Tips For Your Safety
http://www.ou.edu/oupd/kidsafe/websafe.htm


1. Not everyone is what they seem. Use caution giving out your name, address, or phone # to someone on the net.

From our moderator Chain:


Some really cool friends are to be made here in the forums...and that does involve giving them that information. Part of the healing is getting to know each other on a personal level.

Here is what I suggest:

a) People set up a secondary e-mail address through hotmail or any of the other free sites
People set up a secondary chat through yahoo... etc

This is a good way to get to know people... since it is not your main e-mail or chat...it can be deleted if there is harassment.

b) Spend real time chatting before giving out your number. If you have two phones... figure out which one can be disconnected more easily (less people know it) and is unlisted.

c) Women should contact men first if they use the phone. Learn how to use ID blocking.




2. Be careful about agreeing to meet someone. Can you verify who they are and where they're from or where they work? Do you know people who know them who can vouch for them? Also listen for inconsistencies in their stories and "google" them if you can.



3. If you're going to meet in person, make the meeting on your terms. Meet in a public place with plenty of lighting, use your own transportation, and consider making it a double date. Park out of site from the meeting place.




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Keep well informed and a step ahead with these links:

Loads of tips and advice for parents, students, school projects, legal advice, etc:
http://www.bullying.co.uk/

Here's some more info recommended by Bullying Online:

"If you come across anything seriously inappropriate online contact Wired Safety at www.wiredsafety.org (http://www.wiredsafety.org/) , or the Internet Watch Foundation at www.iwf.org.uk (http://www.iwf.org.uk/) . These organisations are not concerned with material which you may not like, they are there to combat serious issues involving pedophiles. You should also report concerns about anyone your child is contacting on the internet to the police." (emphasis mine)

Where am I?

Know what identity theft is, how it's done, how to prevent it, and what to do if you're already the target of it:

http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/fraud/idtheft.html

Hey this is a good sticky!
thanks!

Look at switchboard. com it's amazing what you can find out about a person with just a phone number. Beware the boogey man is alive and well on the internet.

It is very easy to find someone on theinternet with just a little information. Most people are not in the databases yet, but many are, and personal security is a serious issue.

Me :D

What can be done to stop these child molestors who are out in the cities, and town in the United States?

Several years ago, I did a seminar for the local broadbad company along with the local police. I still left some of my notes on line
http://www.turbofish.com/ardmore/

The site looks like crap because it's an old version with lots of the graphics deleted but the info is still there but a bit outdated.

Thanks turbo. :)

A good tool to help is to not use Internet Explorer, it has a lot of holes that can help get your id leaked (I won't go further, like suggesting getting a Mac or anything) but I do suggest getting a better browser, like Opera (www.opera.com) or Firefox (www.getfirefox.com). They are much more secure, and you can protect yourself better.

Safety starts with you, protecting your computer is extremely important too..

this is kind of a repeat of what is being said above but I think it helps.


The online Predator
This page was made to help raise awareness of online predators. Included on this page are questions you can ask yourself when determining if a person you meet online is safe for you, tips to keep yourself safe online, as well as a profile of an online predator. How can I be sure if someone is unsafe for me?

1. Are you scared after being in contact with this person?
2. Do you feel uncomfortable after talking to this person?
3. Does this person insist that you are wrong for feeling uncomfortable and try to keep communication going?
4. After an inappropriate conversation, does this person tell you not to tell anyone?
5. Does this person ask for personal information about you; full name, address, phone number, where you work, and continue to ask when told no? Ultimately, you have to decide who is unsafe for you. If something doesn't sit well with you, listen to your gut. How to protect yourself from unsafe people 1. Use a gender neutral screen name.
2. Keep your anonymity. Don't ever reveal personal information; full name, address, phone number, where you work, or anything that may give a clue to your real identity. Don't even mention family or friends by name. Take your time and ask lots of questions. Get a good idea of what someone is like before you give them your email address.
3. Make use of free email accounts to mask your real email address or online messages to any public forum. There are several to choose from. Hotmail, Yahoo, and Juno are a few. Keep any identifying information off from these accounts.
4. Don't communicate with anyone that tries to pressure you into giving your information. Simply ignore them. If the problem persists, report them. If you aren't sure where to report them, start with who they have their email addy through. If you can't get anywhere with them, contact the police. More and more police agencies across the country are developing cyber task forces. If they can't help, then they should be able to point you in the right direction. 5. Do lurk. (Reading messages before posting on new groups, lists, or boards to find out who is participating in a specific forum and what the temper of the forum is...before sending messages).
6. Be cautious. Don't believe everything you are told, wether in a profile, a message board, or in chat. Keep in mind anyone can post anything, including pictures that aren't theirs.
7. Watch out for people that are simply too good to be true. Watch closely for odd behavior. People may not be who they say they are.
8. Trust your gut. You are responsible to take all the time you need to make sure a person is honest and trustworthy. If your gut tells you someone is lying, they very likely are. Don't get hurt by becoming prematurely involved with someone, on any level.
9. Another potential problem are "sigs" or signatures that you can set up to appear automatically at the end of your outgoing emails. Read that file as though you were a cyber criminal. Is there anything you should change? Maybe it would be best to write a specific signature each time.
10. If anyone in this group is EVER inappropriate, in any way, tell the managers immediately.
Even if you trust the person. Chances are, they have been inappropriate with others as well. Even if you think you might be overreacting, it is better to overreact than to not act at all. If nobody tells the managers, then the managers can't take action.
The Online Predator Definition: One who uses cyber space to hunt people with the intention to take advantage of them in ANY way shape or form. Profile of an Online Predator
1. Liar (Self Explanatory)
2. Deceiver: His/her self situation is presented other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He/she is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He/she is orried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistant: He/she will say one thing while doing another.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting he/she has honor.
7. Lacking Respect: He/she will tend to disrespect others.
8. Transient: He/she is unlikely to have many long term friends.
9. Manipulator: He/she calculates and contrives for his/her own benefit to the detriment of his/her victim.
10. Secretive: He/she will tend to cloak himself/herself and his/her activities. 11. Charming: If he/she couldn't steal your breath away, he/she would not be a successful hunter.
12. Selective: He/she will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and filling those voids completely.
13. Chameleon: He/she will appear to fill any need perfectly and adapt to do so.
14. Lacking in Self Control: Although at times, he/she may have extraordinary self control and dicipline.
Predator Warning Signals:
1. "Don't tell _ _ _ _ _"
2. " _ _ _ _ _ is crazy." (Or psycho, sick a liar, or out to get me)
3. "It would be best if you no longer spoke to _ _ _ _"
4. "I do not need to defend myself against lies."
5. "They are just jealous." (Of me, of what we have, that you have me)
While any of the above phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seing them or hearing them. These are things we should pay attention to if hearing them from ourselves or others.
1. He/she is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more than one person.
3. Your instincts or "gut" are telling you, "Something is not right about this person."
4. The final best defense anyone has against an online predator is their own judgement and common sense.
We should always remember that deisres, needs, and heat of the moment can combine to drown that judgement. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath, and look at people we meet on the internet with common sense and nothing else.

the above was sent to me on another site and I think that it really makes sence no matter what site or where you on the internet.

A related concept

Personality of a Stalker

New Research on Perception of PDs and Stalking

© Tami Port (http://www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/tamiport)

Sep 29, 2007 (http://www.suite101.com/daily.cfm/Sep-29-2007)


<LINK href="http://images.suite101.com.s3.amazonaws.com/228033_blurryfacecropped.jpg" rel=image_src>http://images.suite101.com.s3.amazonaws.com/228033_blurryfacecropped.jpg
A recent study compared coeds' assessment of personality traits of those they perceived as stalkers and of partners of a 'normal' relationship.

What Is Stalking?

Stalking is a crime of obsession, and is often associated with different types of psychopathology, often an axis II, Cluster B (http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/cluster_b_personality_disorders) personality disorder [antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic] (Mullen 1999).

Depending on the stalker, behavior may range from overtly aggressive threats and actions, to repeated phone calls, letters or approaches. This behavior may go on for years, causing the victim to exist in a constant state of stress and fear. The violent aspects of stalking behavior (http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/stalking_behavior) often escalate over time, and in extreme cases can end in murder (Douglas 1998).

Since the more typical type of stalker is someone who has been rejected from a relationship but continues to pursue the former partner, Spitzberg and Vesler (2007), the researchers behind this study, were interested in investigating whether there are basic differences in personality between a post-relationship stalker and a partner in a “normal” relationship.

Stalking Study Methods

In this study 292 college students (approximately 2/3 female) were asked if they had ever been romantically pursued in a persistent and unwanted way. If they had, they completed the survey in reference to the person who harassed them. Respondents who had never experienced this type of unwanted attention were asked to base their survey answers on their current or most recent romantic relationship partner.

Study participants rated the person they were describing on three main categories:

Personality Disorder Assessment

Subjects used a standardized psychological test to evaluate their partner/pursuer for the presence of traits associated with the most standard personality disorders.

Stalker’s Social Skills

The partner/pursuer’s interaction competence or social skills were assessed using the Conversational Skills Rating Scale (CSRS), developed by Spitzberg.

Obsessive Relational Intrusion

ORI is a particular type of harassment in which the pursuer’s objective is to become closer or more intimate with the victim, and may or may not cause fear or perceived threat. The extent to which the respondent had felt pursued in unwanted ways was assessed using the 28-item ORI victimization short form (Cupach 2004).

Stalking Study Results

Findings related to the relationship between personality disorder and stalking are presented below. See Suite101 article Stalkers Who Aren't Strangers (http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/stalkers_who_arent_strangers) to learn more about the results of this research.

Personality Disorder and Stalking

The main question examined in this study was whether there is a difference in personality traits between people identified as stalkers and those who were not. The results revealed an association between the largely subcriminal stalking behavior and histrionic and borderline personality types.

Borderline personality traits include an extreme aversion to being alone and employment of extreme behaviors to avoid abandonment, whether real or imagined. Borderlines often have unstable and intense relationships and are often prone to inappropriate displays of anger (APA 2000).

Histrionic personality types have rarely been associated with stalking. In this study, the histrionic personality traits associated with stalking revolved around exaggerated emotional expression and perception of the relationship being closer than it actually was.

Stalkers Social Competence

It is often assumed that stalkers have some degree of social incompetence; however this is rarely measured in actual stalking research. This study did find that subjects perceived stalkers to have lower social competencies than nonstalkers. The researchers do point out, however, that since the vast majority of stalkers come from prior relationships, it appears that they at least have enough social skill to initiate and maintain a relationship for a period of time.


http://personalitydisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/personality_of_a_stalker

I would also mention that when meeting someone for the first time, you should not leave your drink unattended. Also, be careful about posting personal information and pictures on social networking sites.

I think it's a very good thing to stress these things! Very good forums and moderation in general here. Respect!!;)