View Full Version : Advice please


Schwifty
03-26-17, 07:10 PM
I am 22 and was diagnosed with ADHD at 18 after dealing with it my whole childhood but was never seeneed or treated till I brought myself to the dr at 18.

I was prescribed 1 20mg xr adderall in the morning and another 20 MG xr around lunch. I was amazed at the difference it made. It was almost too big of a difference. It showed me how "better" I could be on medication. I took the medication every day for a year.

I should also mention I am a hypochondriac. Not as bad as I used to be but I would say I am more sensitive/aware of bodily sensations than most people. I got in my head that if I stayed on the medication I would eventually have a heart attack. This was brought on by having cold fingers and poor capillary refill (squeeze finger nail and see how long it takes for blood to come back onto finger)

I was 150 lbs at the time, 210 now after quitting the meds for a year and eating and exercising. maybe the dose was too high for my body weight. I took one of my old pills for class the other day and I felt calm and focused. Not speedy like I used to feel when I took it. I credit this to being heavier now.

Anyways I guess what I'm getting at is I like how I am when I take the meds but I don't like having to be om what I perceive as a harsh substance on my body. It's almost like ignorance was bliss because I know I can be "better". It's as simple as taking a pill. When I don't take it is have to try harder to be a productive adult. But I also don't want to be on a potent stimulant all the time. But when I'm not on it I just drink a bunch of coffee to self medicate.....

Any advice? Sorry if this doesn't make any sense.

sarahsweets
03-26-17, 08:11 PM
I am 22 and was diagnosed with ADHD at 18 after dealing with it my whole childhood but was never seeneed or treated till I brought myself to the dr at 18.

I was prescribed 1 20mg xr adderall in the morning and another 20 MG xr around lunch. I was amazed at the difference it made. It was almost too big of a difference. It showed me how "better" I could be on medication. I took the medication every day for a year.
Medication is meant to make you better by allowing you a fighting chance to be almost equal to your peers. It doesnt give an adhd person an advantage because they are already operating at a disadvantage. Even if you feel better and good, its not that you are somehow getting something that most people do not have.


I should also mention I am a hypochondriac. Not as bad as I used to be but I would say I am more sensitive/aware of bodily sensations than most people. I got in my head that if I stayed on the medication I would eventually have a heart attack. This was brought on by having cold fingers and poor capillary refill (squeeze finger nail and see how long it takes for blood to come back onto finger)

I was 150 lbs at the time, 210 now after quitting the meds for a year and eating and exercising. maybe the dose was too high for my body weight. I took one of my old pills for class the other day and I felt calm and focused. Not speedy like I used to feel when I took it. I credit this to being heavier now.

Meds are not dosed by weight. I think you were just experiencing what its like to have your symptoms controlled again.

Anyways I guess what I'm getting at is I like how I am when I take the meds but I don't like having to be om what I perceive as a harsh substance on my body.

Why do you think its harsh? Is it anymore harsh then chemo for cancer? Insulin for diabetes? Lithium is hard on your liver enzymes- should someone who is bipolar not take the drug because its harsh on their body? Dont buy into the myth and become a part of the fray about stimulants being evil.

Schwifty
03-26-17, 08:16 PM
Phone made seen to seened can't find the edit );

Schwifty
03-26-17, 08:19 PM
I mean better in terms of improving my symptoms and quality of life. Not better than anyone else. I am trying to say that I'm wrestling with my anxiety of the medication being bad for my body even though it improves my quality of life

dvdnvwls
03-27-17, 01:03 AM
Always, ALWAYS, medication is about the balance of good things against bad things. There's no such thing as a medication that's 100% good - that's an impossible idea. Every medication has some good effects and some bad effects. What matters is this:

For you, does the good outweigh the bad? Or does the bad outweigh the good?

People who have anxiety about medications, often have the destructive habit of ignoring the positive aspects of the medications they are prescribed, and overemphasizing the negative.

Pilgrim
03-27-17, 11:39 AM
Guess it depends on the cost of not medicating. I always felt like this. That's always the marker for me.
If all the other stuff goes well.you eat well, have good social outlets, family understands and helps, you can deal with those uncomfortable moments on meds. This all has to fall into place.

I had the situation that my mother actually tried to derail my treatment, this almost sunk the whole show.

Schwifty
03-31-17, 10:06 PM
Thank you all for the advice. I took my prescribed dose this week and felt good. Less side effects than I remember. I am blind to the positive effects because of my anxiety but it went well. I actually think the side effects of my self medication of 8 cups of coffee a day are worse than the 40mg of adderall

dvdnvwls
03-31-17, 10:40 PM
For some people, Adderall plus coffee is a big mistake. It causes massive increases in anxiety.

jessnoless66
04-02-17, 12:41 PM
Adderall calms me down. I have severe anxiety and panic attacks and Adderall has helped me keep it all at bay. This medication helps me. Without it, I could not keep my anxiety at bay, even with therapy, SSRI meds, and anti-anxiety meds. This has worked the best for me and I have been on it 5 years with no plans of getting off it. It has improved my quality of life. When some people in my life trash this medication as speed or coke, I get the feeling they tried it for fun. As it does give me a speedy heart rate. It calms me down. If something helps you, do not be ashamed. Your quality of life is what matters most. 20mg xr twice a day may have been too much. I am prescribed 20 mg IR 3x a day, but I like it that way. I control my dosage, based on what I feel I need for the day. I may split the 20mg and take 10mg in the am and take 10mg more a few hours later. Sometimes I need a full 60mg and sometimes I only need 20mg. The control over it helps my anxiety too. I like to know how much is going in my body and when. Everyone is different. Try different things to see what works best for you.

ToneTone
04-03-17, 05:40 PM
If a med was working that well for me, and I worried about heart stuff, I would go to a really good cardiologist and express all my fears ... See what a specialist says.

Sounds like your anxiety increased over time ... and that your fear and anxiety led to halting the treatment. Have you ever thought of going to a therapist about that anxiety ...

I just hope your decision wasn't part of a fear-pattern ... Just make sure your identity as one kind of person wasn't what caused all the problems ... I just wonder if feeling competent and getting lots of work done made you feel uncomfortable ... And I say this without judgment because if a med really works well, then we are going to present very differently in the world.

But bottom line, if the med was working that well for me, I'd have to hear it from a cardiologist ... or maybe two cardiologists ... that I was endangering myself before I stopped ... but that's me ... Keep in mind that untreated ADHD presents all kinds of dangers as well.

Life is precious and we don't get any extra points at the end because we avoided medication.

Good luck.

Tone

Schwifty
04-04-17, 07:49 PM
Anxiety definitely effects a lot of my life and decisions I make in life. I do need to go talk to someone I've been meaning to do it for some time now. I stopped taking the medication again because it felt very inconsistent...maybe because it was 2 years old but I felt like it would drop out suddenly before the dose should wear off and left me irritable and somewhat down. I should go to talk to a doctor about my treatment anyways and get checked out before I start self medication with a 2 year old prescription. I think that seeing a cardiologist is a good idea for relieving anxiety about the medication. I have prehypertension so I don't know if it's safe. I think that's why I stopped taking it because the prehypertension. I am hesitant about going to get checked up and re-medicated because I'm waiting to hear back about a civil service job that requires a drug test and I don't think they will hire someone who needs medication.

unstableAngel
04-05-17, 12:09 PM
Stimulants taken as prescribed are not harmful, or at least not as harmful as the symptoms of your untreated ADD are ( sorry i didnt look up stimulant danger, if there is any ) Yes, there are ppl who abuse these drugs, therefore they are harmful if abused, as any medication is. If you decided to quit on your own thats not a great idea , tho a mute point as its already done. But prior to stopping did you discuss your concerns to you Dr? ( pls forgive me if i'm reinterating what someone else has stated ) Have yet to get control of impulse & patience. :)

unstableAngel
04-05-17, 12:10 PM
AAANNND I just realised this is an old post 😒