View Full Version : Tired of loosing friends :(


unstableAngel
04-06-17, 02:50 PM
In the last few months or so, my dr added diff meds both of which i had negative reactions to. But it seems that since then & the Teva adderal non sense, i've been a complete wreck! More than usual, overreacting to the slightest things, i cry several times a day. I recently lost two friends i've known online for 5+ years and we've been very close. But because of my instability they have rejected me, stating they can't take my behavior anymore. The one saying my ex had anxiety and I didn't know how to handle it... I replied "lemme tell you how you handle it, you look it up online find out what it is and how one suffers from it, thats how!" Its called sympathy! It really sux that when we are at our lowest that friends & family back off cause they "can't deal with it"... Gee wish i could escape myself to but i cant! Its like theyre the ones suffering..and i get its not easy but hey we are the ones with the illness(s) and we suffer in one way or another every minute of every day. Ok I feel a bit better.... at least for the next 7 minutes i'll be ok.:(

Sunflower009
04-07-17, 06:52 PM
Oh my dear, my heart goes out to you. I have lost a few friends and a boyfriend due to my ADHD as well. I really hope that the medication issues get resolved quick!

I know you probably just needed to vent, so that's fine :-) I wanted to give you one other perspective though, which maybe you haven't considered.

While we are going through the huge issues that come with ADHD (and any other "side kicks", like depression or anxiety)... our loved ones suffer quite a lot too. Sometimes we lash out at them or behave in irrational ways, or we don't show them we love them. It can be really hard for them to keep supporting us when they start to feel depleted, and we can drag them into the black hole with us really fast.

So when your friends are backing off, they are drawing boundaries, which is the right and healthy thing to do. If they don't, they might keep supporting you for awhile, but they will quickly become resentful if they are doing things they really don't want to do, or don't have the emotional or physical energy for.

At the same time, by drawing those boundaries, they might actually be helping you by allowing you to deal with some issues on your own. Sometimes it's better that way since you can find a way to become more resiliant and bounce back due to your own efforts, which feels REALLY good.

Let me tell you from my own personal experience, it always takes a LOW point to get us to realize what is going on, so that we can correct it and get better! (And believe me I have had some low points....)

Of course your friends and family should try thier best to detach in a LOVING way, by expressing thier sympathy and still telling you they love you, but at the same time keeping a distance so that they don't burn out or get in over thier heads.

You will get there, I'm sure!! Venting can be so theraputic and clear our heads so we can get to work.

StoicNate
04-08-17, 12:20 AM
I don't have real friends anymore.
I see my Ex from time to time and each time I regret seeing them..

dvdnvwls
04-08-17, 01:28 PM
unstableAngel: Do you think medication may have anything to do with recently overreacting?

Goofycook
04-08-17, 03:17 PM
Life is tough with a hidden disability. Sometimes you can come off as completely normal then other times you are scaring people away. The pain can eat you up.

I completely understand. Ive had a rough time on the two jobs before me. I was very nit picky and what blow up at people.Part of it what my bosses fault They refused to back up my high standards of cooking but I just couldn't let it go.Nobody liked me. I felt like a total outcast plus I thought I was going crazy.

At the time I wasn't DX'ed so my mood swings and other ADD symptoms scared the h&*^ out me. Before my DX I got somewhat better after switching jobs.But when my symptoms would flare up that fear of being crazy would come over me. the ADD symptoms would the get worse.

When I finally was able to admit what was going on to my doctor I cried for ten minutes. Things have been a lot better with medication but I still have my days. Part of it is accepting and embracing your ADD because it will always be there. from there you move forward.

There will always be days when the ADD rear it's ugly head but hang in there and learn how to love yourself. You are the the only person who can help yourself.

Goofy

Sunflower009
04-09-17, 04:08 PM
Yes I totally agree, it is so hard with a hidden disability. You feel so misunderstood so often, and it is also just SO hard to accept. It's hard to feel like you are broken (even though we are NOT broken!!!! But sometimes it really feels that way, especially when you don't even understand yourself why you did somthing.)

We will get there! Just being here on the forums and getting support is a huge step in the right direction.