View Full Version : I don't know what to do

04-18-17, 04:41 AM
Hey guys! I recently stumbled onto this forums, and I think I may be able to get some help here. I hope so, at least.

I know a block of text is off putting, so I'll try to be as concise as I can, but it's a bit hard. This might even come off as a bit of a rant. If you need elaborating, let me know! TLDR is at the bottom.

Quick background: I am a Chinese American born and raised on the East Coast. My parents never taught me much other than academic things like math. Actually just math. They didn't know anything else. So fast forward, I recently turned 21 and I'm struggling a lot in my classes.

The problem I think I have right now is that I can't focus on reading. I punish myself for not doing so but it just becomes even more of a distraction. I'm a gamer, and I play a bit much. At first I thought this was game addiction, but I found out I could go on for weeks without games. I still couldn't focus on doing homework or allocating even a little bit of time to study. I read a couple sentences, have a hard time understanding how things are connected, and then start opening up my phone or laptop to view things like imgur or reddit.

However I realized that things I like doing: programming, drawing, and gaming, cause me to focus intensely. Like, I could possibly go on for hours, ignoring food and sleep if it gets intense enough.

I do have other misc things, like fidgeting but lots of people like fidgeting. In the back of my head I'm actually (as bad as it sounds) kinda hoping I have ADD/ADHD... not because it makes me feel special or anything but then I might have some sort of explanation to why I'm so bad at this. I never had any problem in High School mostly because it was so easy to get an A. You'd have to try really hard to fail. Does it seem like I have ADD, or am I just a really bad procrastinator/lazy person?

In the end, I know it's up to a professional to diagnose me but I have a slight problem with that, and this is what I hope you guys can assist me in. Remember how I said my parents don't know much? Well, my mom actually doesn't know how things work in the U.S., and my dad is lazy and doesn't do anything he isn't required to/needs to put in effort. I don't remember ever going to the dentist except once or twice, and I hardly ever go to the doctor for anything other than serious cases (which almost never happened, one time I had a really serious allergic reaction and they didn't take me anywhere until it was gone already). To make things worse, my dad (for some reason) actively believes in "natural things work best" so instead of believing that going for a diagnosis would help, he's trying to convince me that it's useless, doesn't even believe in ADHD/ADD (he acknowledges its presence, but apparently not with the possibility of me having it) and instead tries to push me to exercise more often (which I agree would be good for me, but not for... whatever I'm trying to find out) and do kung fu or something (sounds weird and oddly stereotypical, but you know those parents that want their kids to play baseball or football or something? Yeah it's like that, he's been forcing me to like it since I was a kid). Luckily he believes in vaccines and I'm properly vaccinated.

Bottom line is, I want help. I think I need it, and even if I don't have ADD/ADHD at least I know it's something I can control and improve on, instead of blundering in the dark. And I know for sure I'll get ZERO support from my parents. I just need to know how to start the search for help. Who/how do I call?

Thanks so much, everyone!

04-18-17, 04:53 AM
Hi, and welcome!

Are you on your parents' insurance (if they have it), or on a plan from your school?

If you're not depending on your parents' insurance, there's no need to bring them into this until/unless you want to do so. (If you are, it may be trickier.)

Does your school have a medical center or counseling center that is open to you? This is where I'd start.

(Note: Some school medical/counseling centers are reluctant to handle ADHD diagnosis/treatment due to the problem of people seeking drugs for less-than-therapeutic reasons, but even if that's the case, they may be able to refer you to someone in the community, hopefully covered by insurance or able to offer a sliding fee.)

Another possibility would be to contact your school's point person or office for students with disabilities. They may be able to ive you advice on seeking an evaluation. Even a study skills center may have someone who can help you troubleshoot specific academic issues (though not the medical ones).

Keep in mind as you begin this process that difficulties with concentration / motivation / etc. can stem from many causes, not just ADHD. (But not just laziness, either!)

Even for those of us with ADHD, there are often many factors (biological, learned, environmental, etc.) that contribute to how well or how poorly we function. Take help wherever you can get it, and be open to trying different things to help chip away at your difficulties in small or large ways.

But I'd suggest to start, if possible, by talking to a doctor or psychologist at your school.

Best wishes!

04-18-17, 07:46 AM
Even if you are on your parents insurance, do you have your own card? Once you are an adult your medical information is protected even from your parents. If you have access to what you are covered by you can still make appointments on your own for treatment.