View Full Version : Agitated depression


EuropeanADHD
04-30-17, 05:14 AM
Does anyone have a problem with anger here? I'm angry so frequently that I would think I can describe my state as agitated depression. (I have a diagnosis of depression). I'm in this state that I could beat people up if I didn't have an internal blockade against violence. Several people a day.

Especially disrespect towards me and when people ignore me makes me crazy. I use so many swearwords, also in situations in which I should have a control over what I am saying (work) that it's not normal.

Any ideas how to deal with that?

Medicine is not an option - I've tried out plenty of things but they all were problematic, I can't afford to keep trying. Therapy neither - I'm currently planning moving to another city, so that's impossible.

sarahsweets
04-30-17, 07:23 AM
Does anyone have a problem with anger here? I'm angry so frequently that I would think I can describe my state as agitated depression. (I have a diagnosis of depression). I'm in this state that I could beat people up if I didn't have an internal blockade against violence. Several people a day.

Especially disrespect towards me and when people ignore me makes me crazy. I use so many swearwords, also in situations in which I should have a control over what I am saying (work) that it's not normal
Since you say medication is not an option for you, I think anger management classes and therapy may be your only options. Depression can cause irritability but I dont believe it causes the type of anger you are talking about.
Your anger sounds almost like rage or at least irrational reactions and in that respect you are sort of like a ticking time bomb. One day you will snap and get into it with the wrong person. Anger like this very often leads to violence.

Medicine is not an option - I've tried out plenty of things but they all were problematic, I can't afford to keep trying. Therapy neither - I'm currently planning moving to another city, so that's impossible.

I am dissapointed that you wont consider meds or therapy because thats about all I can think of now. You are not necessarily being as responsible for your anger as you should be and I do not see any sort of relief in sight it you wont consider what is known to help.

Its sort of like having vision issues but refusing to get an eye exam or buy glasses but expecting a solution that will make you be able to see better.
I mean no offense but if something really bad happens because of your anger, it will be hard for you not to be blamed for it because you are not being treated for it.

EuropeanADHD
04-30-17, 08:33 AM
Since you say medication is not an option for you, I think anger management classes and therapy may be your only options. Depression can cause irritability but I dont believe it causes the type of anger you are talking about.
Your anger sounds almost like rage or at least irrational reactions and in that respect you are sort of like a ticking time bomb. One day you will snap and get into it with the wrong person. Anger like this very often leads to violence.


I am dissapointed that you wont consider meds or therapy because thats about all I can think of now. You are not necessarily being as responsible for your anger as you should be and I do not see any sort of relief in sight it you wont consider what is known to help.

Its sort of like having vision issues but refusing to get an eye exam or buy glasses but expecting a solution that will make you be able to see better.
I mean no offense but if something really bad happens because of your anger, it will be hard for you not to be blamed for it because you are not being treated for it.

Unfortunately I have to work. I don't have family or networks to sustain me while I'm not employed. And when I was on antidepressants no work was possible. I was very sleepy all the time or had other issues that made normal work impossible. With each and every medicine.

And when you work abroad (different cities) 4 days a week every week, it's tricky to get into therapy.

I won't get violent. I have never been violent in my life. I direct it more towards myself. I'm currently avoiding my company's office, cause there it's really difficult - fortunately I can do home-office on Fridays and communicate via emails and teleconferences with my bosses. Also, I'm searching for a new job to settle down at last, but that has turned out to be a longterm project and it will probably still take me weeks to find something.

Unmanagable
04-30-17, 10:58 AM
Have you tried things like breathing techniques? Specifically diaphragmatic breathing, rhythmic breathing, and alternate nostril breathing. Those are three I've learned and have much success with. Learning that our breath, something free and that's with us 24/7, could be so therapeutic blew my mind.

I also use various essential oils throughout my day via home made moisturizers and roll on applicators with a blend of them and coconut oil, in a diffuser necklace, on a wooden clothespin stuck to the car vent, keep a bottle close by to sniff on when needed, etc. I can't do artificial scents of any kind, but the high quality oils are lifesavers, especially when venturing out.

Not sure if you're a bath person, but those epsom salt soaks I'm always suggesting help my pains, be it physical or emotional. I feel lighter all over after treating myself to one, often starting my day with one instead of waiting until the end of it. Even a foot soak with them can be beneficial if not a full bath.

I used to get road rage like a mofo and would curse until I was blue in the face. That s*** gets exhausting, too. I'd be fired up by the time I got where I was going. So much energy being spent on some fool who can't even hear it, so it's all wasted breath that only serves to harshly lower my own vibrations.

Instead of cursing them out, I now just say more quietly to myself, "You f'n safety hazard. May you arrive at your destination safely and not take anyone out in between.", and then crank up some jams and sing at the top of my lungs.

I used to have a speed bag set up at home and at work that I'd punch rather often. I'm certain it saved my job on a few occasions. What a huge help that was! I've since resigned and paid them forward to others and now use a mini-trampoline to bounce on and a hula hoop to dance with.

Hope something there is helpful to you. Try to remember it's always your own energy you're spending with each thought. Spend your current-$ee wisely.

sarahsweets
04-30-17, 12:44 PM
Unfortunately I have to work. I don't have family or networks to sustain me while I'm not employed. And when I was on antidepressants no work was possible. I was very sleepy all the time or had other issues that made normal work impossible. With each and every medicine.
Did you try many antidepressants at many different doses?


And when you work abroad (different cities) 4 days a week every week, it's tricky to get into therapy.

I get this but its a viable alternative to being angry and medication. Some new technology has opened the door to "telemedicine" where doctors and professionals sometimes do consults via the internet like skype.

ToneTone
05-01-17, 01:14 PM
I second Sarah's recommendation to try every antidepressant out there starting at the lowest dosages ... you can even combine different antidepressants ....

There are at least a dozen different antidepressants. You sure you have tried every one? ... at multiple dosages? ...

Otherwise, therapy sounds like it would be great for you. When I had lots of internalized anger at my family (which I didn't know how to accept or express), I would lash out at other people.

Once is disentangled my family of origin dysfunctional, I got much more control of the anger ... or better yet, the anger just went away. Also I had weak boundaries, meaning I was terrible at saying "no" to people. So I had a lot of resentment for doing things for people that I didn't want to do ... and then feeling rejected when they didn't understand how much I had "sacrificed" on their behalf.

There are plenty of therapists who work night hours and even weekends.

Tone