View Full Version : ADHD, sex and sleep disturbances


girlthroughtime
05-05-17, 02:16 AM
This might be a weird one. I am sure my husband is undiagnosed ADHD. He self medicated with nicotine and marijuana, as well as alcohol. I liked him just fine on marijuana but whenever nicotine is in the picture he seems very removed from his emotions. At any rate, sex seems less interesting to him and he is often distracted and sometimes listens to podcasts! He needs the podcasts for sleep so he always has his headphones in. Anyway, i get that during sex he can be distracted. The weird thing is when he does sleep he will talk in his sleep and sometimes initiate sex. It'll be so clear to me - I'm carrying a conversation with him about having sex - where he plainly tells me what he wants. And the next day he doesn't remember a thing. He definitely never remembers sleep talking. But sleep sex?! I just had no idea this is even a thing... any experience with this?
I mean he will have no memory of initiating, saying any of the things he's said. He might remember the sex but he will think I just saddled up lol! Of course I'm just dumbfounded at the extreme right f forgetfulness and detachment.
I would love to know if this is not unusual for someone with ADHD.

sarahsweets
05-06-17, 05:28 AM
I dont think that its all that usual. What does he say when you tell him about it? Even if he doesnt remember is he upset that it did happen?

dvdnvwls
05-06-17, 05:39 AM
I don't think I do this myself... I don't think I've heard of it before either...

Does your husband sometimes need sleeping pills of some kind?

kilted_scotsman
05-06-17, 04:11 PM
It's unusual, but yes this happens. It's a particular type of sleepwalking behaviour, sleepwalking is rare enough, sleep sex is a rare form. It's not specifically ADHD related and there may be a range of potential reasons for it.

It can get guys into trouble if they sleepwalk and attempt to initiate sex with someone else in the house.....(I vaguely remember there was a court case about this a while ago). This is the main reason for investigating it and seeing if there are any underlying anxieties that may be driving the process. You could try hypnotherapy, as hypnosis recreates the hypnopompic?? state and a hypnotherapist may be able to explore what is happening..... a long shot but it might produce results.

Sometimes the "self" can only be "itself" when in the semi-conscious/unconscious sleep state.... which is why hypnotherapy sometimes works.

girlthroughtime
05-07-17, 02:15 AM
I don't think I do this myself... I don't think I've heard of it before either...

Does your husband sometimes need sleeping pills of some kind?

No sleeping pills. Just nicotine, alcohol and/or marijuana.