View Full Version : Should I feel guilty about asking for double the dose? My life has improved 100-fold.


heythere999
05-05-17, 06:41 PM
Hey guys, so for most of my life I have felt like I was a lot slower than other people. Though I've had my fair share of times in my life where my grades were actually pretty good, for the most part, they've been volatile. I didn't realize until much later that I was pretty depressed. I remember early on in high school that I was convinced that I had "mild mental retardation" despite being a normal functioning member of society.

It really started getting to me when I began working after high school. In my first job, my bosses absolutely despised me and wanted me gone because I was slow, couldn't understand instructions, had to have things repeated to me a bunch of times, I made many careless mistakes, etc. etc.

My other coworkers constantly commented on how slow I was and some of my coworkers' patience with me wore thin. They didn't know that I was trying my best.

I got another job at a much faster-paced restaurant. Here, I really did try my absolute best. Before work I would guzzle down coffee to make sure I had energy. I made it a priority in my life so that I could be of some use. Though there were some times where my coworkers told me that I was "insanely fast," everyone agreed that I was wildly inconsistent. I would blank out often, make many careless mistakes, you name it. At one point one of my managers pulled me aside and had a talk with me and I cried my eyes out stating that I'm trying my best, and she told me that until I cried she thought I didn't care due to the amount of mistakes I would make. Again, she didn't know that I was seriously trying my best. I cared. A lot.

I also had ridiculously low self-confidence. I seriously thought I was too dumb to drive. I didn't drive on my own until I was forced to, at age 21. Most people who live around where I do start driving at age 17. 18 is the absolute max. It was incredibly embarrassing.

There were semesters in college where I started off with 15 units... ended with 3. I repeated numerous courses. I would forget to drop classes on time. I would sleep in class probably 90% of the time. The 10% of the time I was awake I would be on my phone a majority of the time.

I would lose EVERYTHING, CONSTANTLY. It wasn't uncommon for me to leave my phone, wallet, keys, backpack, etc. in the bathroom of my workplace. To leave my house without my work uniform. To have no idea where I placed pretty much anything.

I would also constantly binge eat, I was very overweight, I had pretty poor hygiene, I constantly drank and smoke. The insane depression I felt from feeling worthless was really, REALLY getting to me. I smoked 1-3 hours a day alone. That's right; hours. I would get drunk 1-2 times a week.

Then I finally took life into my own hands and got an Adderall prescription...


1. I went from smoking 1-3 hours a day.... to 0. I quit smoking.
2. I used to get drunk 1-2 times a week.... past 6 months, I've drank twice. Only got drunk one of those two times.
3. Grades went up considerably.
4. I finally started driving on my own. I actually enjoy driving. Driving for over an hour at a time is a regular thing for me.
5. I lost a lot of weight. I can manage my money. Take care of myself.

Simply put.... to say that my life has improved since I've taken Adderall is a gigantic understatement. Though I'm still insanely disorganized and I still experience brain fog, it is helping me not be a total embarrassment. It is helping me in every aspect of my life.

I have a psychiatrist that prescribed it to me. I went to a psychologist that put me through certain tests and told me that I have very severe inattention and some hyperactivity and that I should go to my school for further testing since it'll be free.

The thing is my psychiatrist only prescribes me enough to last me 4 hours a day.... I honestly would like to take it twice a day. Though I don't take it every single day or for every single occasion, I do want to take it more often, as I find myself being more akin to my old self (though slightly better) when I haven't taken it yet that day.

Should I feel guilty? What do you guys make of this?

Thanks!

Greyhound1
05-05-17, 07:28 PM
Welcome to the forum!

It is normal protocol for Dr's to begin Adderall and stimulants in general at low doses. They usually will titrate up until they find the proper dose. This usually consists of trial and error until you find what works best. My Dr. has changed my doses and stimulants multiple times searching for the best efficacy.

You shouldn't feel guilty in the least. Adjusting doses is quite common and it's also difficult sometimes and takes time to determine the proper dose. If you are only getting coverage for 4 hours a day then I would certainly bring that up with your Dr.

Are you taking Extended release(capsule) or Instant release(tablet)?

Lunacie
05-05-17, 07:30 PM
That's certainly something to talk to the doctor about as long as you've been
taking Adderall for at least a month and side effects are at a minimum.

With some doctors, it works better tell them that the med is only lasting 4
hours and ask what the doc thinks the next step would be.

If you've got a good doc you can simply ask about taking a second dose to
cover the second half of the day.

But it would be better to ask for a second dose or booster dose than ask to
"double the dose."

heythere999
05-05-17, 08:38 PM
The side effects I experience with Adderall do not bug me at all. If I have insomnia it's often because I take it way too late for whatever reason (such as studying/cramming). I initially had a problem with grinding my teeth but it is no longer a problem. That's pretty much it.

And he gave me Instant Release. I really do think I need it twice a day; I just don't want to seem like I'm an addict.

psychopathetic
05-06-17, 06:15 AM
Holy crap...reading your post is like reading a direct reflection of the experiences I've had. I relate with everything but the drinking, losing things (luckily not an issue I've ever had to deal with like a lot of you guys out there) and the driving.

Heck, I even quit smoking just like you, and used to have HORRIBLE hygene issues (god how I don't miss those issues!).

I'd absolutely talk to your doc and ask for a dose adjustment. Tell him/her just how much adderall helps you but explain to them that you're only getting about 4 hours of effectiveness.
How miserable :(

I'm currently take some extended release adderall in the mornings and an instant release in the mid-later afternoon as needed.
I've always really liked the extended release (even though it only works for 5 or 6 hours for me, even though my pill doc swears it should work for at least 8 hours.../grrr). It's smoother than the instant release and my come downs aren't nearly as drastic. Extended is like taking 2 doses of adderall, only 1 of those doses works immediately and the other dose doesn't kick in until several hours later. So in other words, if you take 40mg of extended release adderall...it'd be the same as taking a 20mg instant release adderall now...then taking another 20mg 3 or 4 hours later.

Anyhow, thanks for posting. It's crazy how much of it I relate to.
Man, I thought for so long (until I found these forums a few years ago) that I'd never find anyone I could ever relate to. Who could ever possibly understand me. It still shocks me when I find people like you that have so many of the junk I've been through. I always thought I was so absolutely alone in my struggles.

psychopathetic
05-06-17, 06:19 AM
I just don't want to seem like I'm an addict.

I've been on my adderall for something like 3 years now...have established a trusting relationship with my pill doc, and have proven to myself MANY times over that I'm no where near a drug seeker or addict...
And yet, to this very day, it's still something I worry a great deal about. :doh:

heythere999
05-07-17, 07:32 PM
So how should I go about it with my psychiatrist?

I started off with 10 mg, then 20 mg, then 25 mg, now 30 mg. I feel like until I got further opinions from a psychologist, he was skeptical, but after last time he was very friendly and even said "don't waste money coming here if you need a refill just call me."


Anyways, some updates.

So this weekend I saw some friends I hadn't seen for months. One of them said stuff like "when did you get so smart? No offense" and "you act kind of different now." And another funny thing; I remember last year she called me an "average-looking guy" and last night when it was just me, her, and a couple other people in the room, she said "guys, isn't (my name) cute as ****? I would **** him right now" lol. Feels kind of good I guess since my ability to lose weight, have a better control over my diet, and increasing my exercise and energy level I guess led to stuff like looking better.

And can anyone else give perhaps provide some more reassuring messages as to not feel bad about Adderall use? I mean, it's legitimate, it's helping me, and there's nothing to be ashamed of right? In my opinion everyone has deficiencies, and obviously some more than others. I happened to have ADHD and I'm lucky enough to have a solution. Right? I'm just worried that it'll "rot my brain."

dvdnvwls
05-08-17, 12:51 AM
If you get into a constant pattern of more more more, and you're ignoring your doctor, your brain will eventually rot. :) Otherwise you are absolutely fine.

heythere999
05-08-17, 04:27 AM
The thing is, I'm pretty careful about my use. I know better than to, say, pop 493489384 pills at once. I stick to my dosage.

But seriously though, does anyone know how to figure out the right dosage? I feel like at 30 mg it's pretty good, though it could be just a tad stronger. Because, like I said, I still experience stuff like brain fog at 30 mg.

PaulCamR
05-08-17, 09:43 PM
The thing is, I'm pretty careful about my use. I know better than to, say, pop 493489384 pills at once. I stick to my dosage.

But seriously though, does anyone know how to figure out the right dosage? I feel like at 30 mg it's pretty good, though it could be just a tad stronger. Because, like I said, I still experience stuff like brain fog at 30 mg.

"Could be a bit stronger" is something you might have to get past. Remember, Adderall doesn't make you perfect, it just helps balance you out. People who don't have ADHD can't focus all the time either.

Greyhound1
05-08-17, 10:38 PM
And he gave me Instant Release. I really do think I need it twice a day; I just don't want to seem like I'm an addict.

It is very common for people on IR to take 2 doses a day. Usually, one in the morning and one about 4-5 hours later. IR is not intended to last all day. Needing coverage all day is normal and reasonable request. I wouldn't worry about that making you seem like an addict. You sound like someone who really benefits but for only half the amount of time necessary.

I would go with an open mind and not go in having preconceived ideas what doses you should be on. Trust your Dr. to make the right decision after you give him all the facts. I would probably avoid suggesting doses or that he double your dose but reiterate the need for help in the afternoon.

Good luck

heythere999
05-23-17, 12:00 AM
When should I contact my psychiatrist to ask him to up it to 2 times a day?

Since, yeah, IR once a day means I only get benefits around 3-6 hours in a day. Until I take my Adderall, I'm extremely unproductive and get nothing done.

The other day, I had to wake up at 5 am, watch a 2 hour documentary, write an essay, go to the mall, buy a suit as fast as possible, go home quickly, drive an hour to school to turn in an essay then drive home, get ready, then go to an event with very little time to spare. Without Adderall I definitely would not have been able to that. Typically, without Adderall, when I have multiple things on my "to-do" list for that week; let's say, 5, I'll end up probably only getting 2 or 3 of those things done, as opposed to all 5.

But yeah in general without it in my system, I am extremely unproductive most of the time. Ideally, I'd like to take it within the first 30 minutes of waking up, and then again any time from 3-5 PM.

Would it be acceptable to contact my psychiatrist when it's been nearly a month since my last refill? This is supposed to last me 2 months, but for the most part I've been taking it twice a day the past few weeks... I REALLY don't want to run out.

heythere999
05-23-17, 01:06 AM
Also, can someone please calm me down about using Adderall? Every time I take it now, I have some anxiety because I'm constantly thinking "my brain is going to rot" "I'm going to have a stroke". Pls give some helpful commentary :( I want to be comfortable on this thing.

sarahsweets
05-23-17, 04:29 AM
IMO, if you have given the IR once a day a week or two just to try it, I would contact my doctor asap and make an appt or leave a message requesting a call back. If someone were in pain and given pain medicine but it wasnt working, they would call or go in to find something that worked.
If you have a doctor that is knowledgeable about adhd, they should know that IR lasts about 4 hours and that you will need more than one dose. I see know benefit in waiting some alloted period of time to call. This is your life we are talking about here.

When should I contact my psychiatrist to ask him to up it to 2 times a day?

Since, yeah, IR once a day means I only get benefits around 3-6 hours in a day. Until I take my Adderall, I'm extremely unproductive and get nothing done.

The other day, I had to wake up at 5 am, watch a 2 hour documentary, write an essay, go to the mall, buy a suit as fast as possible, go home quickly, drive an hour to school to turn in an essay then drive home, get ready, then go to an event with very little time to spare. Without Adderall I definitely would not have been able to that. Typically, without Adderall, when I have multiple things on my "to-do" list for that week; let's say, 5, I'll end up probably only getting 2 or 3 of those things done, as opposed to all 5.

But yeah in general without it in my system, I am extremely unproductive most of the time. Ideally, I'd like to take it within the first 30 minutes of waking up, and then again any time from 3-5 PM.

Would it be acceptable to contact my psychiatrist when it's been nearly a month since my last refill? This is supposed to last me 2 months, but for the most part I've been taking it twice a day the past few weeks... I REALLY don't want to run out.

sarahsweets
05-23-17, 04:32 AM
Also, can someone please calm me down about using Adderall? Every time I take it now, I have some anxiety because I'm constantly thinking "my brain is going to rot" "I'm going to have a stroke". Pls give some helpful commentary :( I want to be comfortable on this thing.

What makes you worry about this? Have you read or heard something like this to make you think it will happen? There is always misinformation out there about stimulants. It seems like you either hear really great things or horrible things. You have to always look at the sources and motivations behind every horror story.
You need to read something scientific about how these meds work and you will see that the science backs up the fact that they are a first line treatment for adhd.

heythere999
05-23-17, 05:01 AM
Ok then I'll try to muster up the courage to talk to my doctor tomorrow lol.

Also, what makes me worried is the "horror stories" plus for years some of my old "friends" (who would complain about how useless I am) would tell me that I don't have ADHD and that I don't need Adderall and that my brain will rot so I just get scared

Lunacie
05-23-17, 10:55 AM
Adderall and other stimulant meds do just the opposite of making your brain rot.
Studies have shown that areas in the brain that are underdeveloped or smaller
before taking these meds become more "normal" in size and shape after taking
the meds for awhile.

Not sure you've got a great doctor if he gave you a script for two months. Most
people can tell within a couple of weeks if the meds are working well or not ...
and if the side effects outweigh the benefits or vice verse. Please call the doctor
and ask about changing the script to twice a day (or even 3 times a day), or to
the XR version.

Little Missy
05-23-17, 01:07 PM
My brain has no rot that I'm aware of. :)

HarrisonBX
05-24-17, 01:16 PM
I think many people have this issue when it comes to asking for enough medication to do what the medication is supposed to do, whether it's adderall or some other medication that you are made to feel like a criminal for taking. However, a long time ago, I decided that I was the one person who had the most interest in my own health and well being and that I was paying doctors to work for me just as if I were paying for any other service. The only difference is that my health and well being is far more important than, for example, how well my car gets fixed, so that my input to my own medical care was much more important than other things that most people will be consumer advocates about without a second thought.

So no, you should not feel guilty about participating in your own health care and asking for whatever you think might improve your quality of life. Any doctor who is worth seeing will treat you as an individual and work with you, based on your own feedback, to find the treatment that works best for you. in fact, you cannot expect anyone else to be more of an advocate for your own health and well being than you are. You have the most to lose by not asking for what you need and expecting your doctor to work with you to help you find the best dosage for you.

HarrisonBX
05-24-17, 01:59 PM
Ok then I'll try to muster up the courage to talk to my doctor tomorrow lol.

Also, what makes me worried is the "horror stories" plus for years some of my old "friends" (who would complain about how useless I am) would tell me that I don't have ADHD and that I don't need Adderall and that my brain will rot so I just get scared

No need to worry. I have been taking adderall for 25 years. I have a PhD in nuclear physics and the thing I noticed the most when I started taking adderall is that I absorb and understand things much faster and more easily. This has not subsided in that 25 years. If my brain was going to "rot," I think it would have done so by now. My only regret was not having started taking adderall sooner. It seems most everyone was more willing to give a diagnosis of depression or something else and prescribe things that made my life more difficult instead of better.

heythere999
05-31-17, 01:20 AM
It's honestly insane how much better I am as a whole when I take Adderall. I'm less irritable and moody, more productive, much happier... it truly is great.

I was looking at some other forum posts and someone said something like "when I'm on Adderall, maybe sometimes I'm depressed just like all other normal people, but when I'm on Adderall I at least feel like I have the power to do something about it." This is very true. Off Adderall, I feel like I just wallow in my misery.

Also, is anyone on Adderall more than 8 hours a day?

The thing is, I was considering XR, as sometimes I have 8 hour shifts, and I notice around 6 hours in, I become more irritable and moody at work. Not necessarily towards my coworkers, but with customers, if they're last-minute or rude, you bet that I'll be doing plenty of eye rolls or I'll be somewhat passive-aggressive. I want XR, but at the same time... on the days I have work, I don't want it JUST for my shift. I definitely want to start taking it right when I wake up too. In the mornings, I tend to have a giant 3-course meal and I'm unproductive unless I'm forced to do something. So... I really want to start taking it in the morning.

In terms of starving myself, I know that if I were to be on Adderall for most of the day, I'd eat because I know I have to. I don't want to be anemic or anorexic or anything.

Also, again, I'd like to compare myself off Adderall vs. on Adderall.... a year or so ago, there was a semester where I went from 15 units to 3 units, and I received a C in that class. I didn't work, I didn't drive, and I was broke. Currently, I just finished a semester at school. I've been working 30-ish hours a week, and I got a 3.8 GPA for this semester. Definitely would not have pulled that off without Adderall.

sarahsweets
05-31-17, 04:30 AM
Also, is anyone on Adderall more than 8 hours a day?

I think most of us on adderall expect to be on it more than 8 hours a day. ADHD impacts all areas of your life and its with you 24/7, not just at work or school right? The XR lasts about 6-8 hours but in my case it lasts about 4-5 so I take it three times a day.

The thing is, I was considering XR, as sometimes I have 8 hour shifts, and I notice around 6 hours in, I become more irritable and moody at work. Not necessarily towards my coworkers, but with customers, if they're last-minute or rude, you bet that I'll be doing plenty of eye rolls or I'll be somewhat passive-aggressive. I want XR, but at the same time... on the days I have work, I don't want it JUST for my shift. I definitely want to start taking it right when I wake up too. In the mornings, I tend to have a giant 3-course meal and I'm unproductive unless I'm forced to do something. So... I really want to start taking it in the morning.

Im confused: do you mean you dont currently take adderall in the morning? When do you take it? It makes sense that you want it first thing and the rest of the day. Your adhd is with you when you wake up. through work and school and even at night.

heythere999
05-31-17, 06:26 AM
I'm only currently prescribed for 4 hours a day. I've been too anxious to call my psychiatrist lol

And no I have never taken it when I first wake up. Although I really should. I want to know what a productive morning (without being forced into doing something) feels like.

Little Missy
05-31-17, 08:20 AM
I'm only currently prescribed for 4 hours a day. I've been too anxious to call my psychiatrist lol

And no I have never taken it when I first wake up. Although I really should. I want to know what a productive morning (without being forced into doing something) feels like.

Your first post was the 5th so you must have an appointment coming up soon.

heythere999
05-31-17, 03:28 PM
Your first post was the 5th so you must have an appointment coming up soon.

No, no appointment. After my last check-up he no longer had any doubts about my ADHD (since I took a test with a psychologist and it said "extremely inattentive") and said that I can just call to renew my prescription. But I don't want to just renew it I want it for twice a day :(

Gypsy Willow
06-01-17, 04:24 PM
No need to worry. I have been taking adderall for 25 years. I have a PhD in nuclear physics and the thing I noticed the most when I started taking adderall is that I absorb and understand things much faster and more easily. This has not subsided in that 25 years. If my brain was going to "rot," I think it would have done so by now. My only regret was not having started taking adderall sooner. It seems most everyone was more willing to give a diagnosis of depression or something else and prescribe things that made my life more difficult instead of better.

This was me!! I was diagnosed with "depression" until age 35 and I found a great p-doc and he diagnosed me with ADD and put me on Adderall. I was on it for 11 years and then off of it for 6. Fortunately, I was in a work position during those 6 years where I didn't have to really be focused (plus, I had no insurance. :() I just got back on it in May as my career has changed.

But when I was off of Adderall, I had more anxiety, irritability, high blood pressure, low grade depression and repeated sinus infections and ear infections. And couldn't take decongestants due to high bp. Was on 10 mg of Lexapro which helped but since i got back on Adderall, blood pressure has gone down and the sinus infections cleared up. It has a calming effect on me.

Don't know what effect Adderall has re: the sinus issues except maybe the stress I was under was weakening my immune system.

But yeah. Like you, I wish I knew about the diagnosis and Adderall sooner in life. I was like "Where was this when I was in college?!!" :mad: