View Full Version : Happy Mother's Day


Lunacie
05-10-17, 01:12 PM
Facebook just bumped a post my daughter made 2 years ago for mother's day,
and it was just as touching rereading it this time as it was then.

Even when I felt like a failure, my daughter never saw me that way. Hope it's
okay to share her post here ... might help some of the other parents on this
forum stop obsessing over everything they feel they're doing wrong and just
enjoy their child(ren).

My daughter is 43, the mother of two special needs kids: Katlin 19 ADHD
Anxiety Depression ... Nove 15 Autism Anxiety Diabetes. We've lived together
since Kat was 3 and I've been a co-parent to my grandkids. I love them all.

Someone the other day tried to imply that mother isn't pulling her share around my home anymore. While I couldn't put my rebuttal into words at the time, I think I can now.

My mother grew up with a disability or two. It was not diagnosed until she was in her 60's. Think about that. An "invisible" disability that she lived with for her entire life. She was told that she wasn't "enough" for her entire childhood. Not smart, stupid. Not quick, slow. Not normal, weird.

Just today, she told me that she was made to feel fat when she was younger. I've seen photos. She wasn't fat as a child or even as a teen. But, that's not even what I'm talking about. My mother had undiagnosed anxiety and likely fell on the autism spectrum. She still does.

BUT my mother had me. She was there every day when I got home from school. Even when she didn't feel well and hid in her bedroom. Even when she was dealing with the emotional overwhelm of marriage to someone who didn't understand her and even when she was consumed by guilt and anger at herself and the world. She was there for me.

I remember her being there to talk to when I came home from school every day. I remember her getting or giving a hug goodnight every night. I remember her cooking dinner daily. Making sure I had a lunch for school because we couldn't afford school lunches. Typing up my school papers for me and sewing my costumes for dance and school.

I remember being able to tell her about my first "real" relationship and ask her questions that most kids would be scared to death to ask their parents about even in today's more accepting culture. She didn't blink an eye. She has always totally accepted me as I am. At least that's how it felt. Isn't that what matters?

That is not where this story ends. When I had kids, I did not anticipate the help I needed. When my 2nd daughter came along, my mother probably saved us. I had depression and my daughter had undiagnosed autism. My mother took care of us both and has for the last 13 years. Non-stop.

No, it's not been perfect, but she did what she could when she could. Now that she can't so much, I can do more........ isn't that the way it's supposed to work? I think our culture has lost so much of the "tribe" aspect. We should take care of the elders as they cared for us.

My mother has been there for me. I WANT to be there for her too.

midnightstar
05-10-17, 02:05 PM
Thanks for posting this, Funacie :grouphug:

Fuzzy12
05-10-17, 03:50 PM
That's so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. Your daughter is very special and so are you!! Thanks for sharing!!

Lunacie
05-10-17, 04:13 PM
That's so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. Your daughter is very special and so are you!! Thanks for sharing!!

It totally made me cry when I first read it. Had a tear or two this time as well.

All I did was love my girl. I accepted who she was, didn't second guess her to
try to convince her that she knew nothing and I knew everything. I let her do
things and make mistakes and learn from them. And I never blamed her for
anything, only support. Even when a friend convinced her to shoplift from a
store, just support and conversation about doing a diversion program to keep
her name from the offender list.