View Full Version : Suddenly huge sleep problems


Fuzzy12
05-21-17, 04:45 PM
Sorry this has got nothing to do with adhd but I've scoured everything else (forums and experts) and I'm just not reading anything new that might help.

Fuzzling is almost 9 months old. Till recently we had a great bedtime routine going at the end of which she would happily fall asleep in her cot. She'd wake up 2-3 times in the night and I'd breastfeed her back to sleep.

Suddenly about 2 weeks ago the bedtime routine stopped working. She goes absolutely hyperactive in her cot, babbling, rolling around and banging her head against the cot sides. This goes on till she's so tired that she's cranky and cries but she still won't sleep. Every night we've had to rock or hold her till she falls asleep and then transfer her to her cot when she's in deep sleep. The problem with this is that because she isn't falling asleep in her cot everytime she wakes up (about every hour: babies sleep cycles are short) she gets upset because she can't settle herself back to sleep.

I wouldn't mind feeding her tò sleep every time but even that isn't working anymore. She just isn't falling asleep any where anymore (at night...she's better with day time naps. Not great but better). She refuses to sleep till she gets so exhausted that she just cries like crazy and then finally crashes due to sheer exhaustion (and wakes up an hour later).

I want to avoid this of course. I also don't want to try any cry it out or controlled crying methods. We've tried putting her to bed later and also earlier. Nothing works. I'm not sure what has changed. Maybe it's separation anxiety but I'm right there and she wouldn't even fall asleep on me.

I'm desperate. And exhausted. It's taking more than 2h to put her to bed and then she wakes up every hour. Hubby comforts her to sleep for quite a few wakings though it takes him a lot longer of course because nursing just is the quickest. Anyway the real problem is going to bed initially. I can deal with her waking up again.

all this aggravation at bed time cant be good for fuzzling either. It seems she's just forgotten how to fall asleep (which is probably exactly what has happened) but how can we help her learn yhst again?

mildadhd
05-21-17, 10:18 PM
Hi Fuzzy12

Can your daughter walk yet?

Is there a way for her to burn off some energy, explore things, crawl around after a ball, etc, instead of rolling around in her cot?

Edit: My son was very hyperactive when he was young, never napped much like some other kids.

Instead of focusing on him napping on a schedule I focused on him burning of energy, playing, exploring, etc. then he would sleep better.




m

Fuzzy12
05-21-17, 10:34 PM
Thanks for thr reply. No she's not walking yet. Usually after a while of her banging and bumping around thr cot I take her out and let her play for a bit more but even after thst she won't fall asleep. If she isn't going crazy in her cot then she is just crying every time I try to put her in.

I'll try to give her even more opportunity to roll around the floor during the day tomorrow. She seems tired when I start her bedtime routine but then she just goes crazy the moment i put her in the cot

mildadhd
05-22-17, 12:28 AM
Thanks for thr reply. No she's not walking yet. Usually after a while of her banging and bumping around thr cot I take her out and let her play for a bit more but even after thst she won't fall asleep. If she isn't going crazy in her cot then she is just crying every time I try to put her in.

I'll try to give her even more opportunity to roll around the floor during the day tomorrow. She seems tired when I start her bedtime routine but then she just goes crazy the moment i put her in the cot

That is what I would try, maybe because she is getting older less naps in the daytime?

Hyperactivity is normal trait in early life.

Do you find is she more sensitive that other children her age?

Do you think she could be to hot, or uncomfortable in her cot?

Does she have a blanket she prefers?

I find fresh air can help me sleep as well.

Take my posts with a grain of salt.

Some parents make their children go to sleep on a schedule, and it seems to work for them.

My son is 20 now, and I never made him go to sleep when he did not feel like it, within reason.

We used to have some amazing conversations at bedtime, I wonder if you attempt to communicate with her, while she lies in her cot?

I could be bias because I had a hard time sleeping, had severe separation anxiety (probably still do in some form) and do not like to tell my son to go to sleep if he does not feel like it.

The fact that this happens only around the cot, may rule out, pain from her teeth, growing pains, etc.

My apologies if I am annoying, I am not an expert or nine months old, but I can relate to being hyperactive and sometimes act like I am nine months old.


m

mildadhd
05-22-17, 01:02 AM
Fuzzy12

I got to say, I think your a great mother for considering separation anxiety, (again I am not an expert), your relationship with daughter does not seem like separation is the problem, unless your daughter is very anxious/sensitive. Which would be a temperament issue, not a bad parenting issue, that the parents would need to address.

It really bothers me that there are some toddlers, born with more sensitive temperaments, in turn experiencing anxiety issues, not bad parenting, that are not getting the help they need, because society does not want to address any reality/possibility that there are some toddlers that may have anxiety issues.


m

sarahsweets
05-22-17, 04:57 AM
I have had to let me kids cry it out sometimes but that wasnt until they were a little older and knew how to settle themselves better. I did the thing where I stood by the crib and patted their back, then the next night just stood there and then left. I would let them cry for 15 minutes then go back in, give a pat and cover back up, say I love you and leave. I repeated this cycle everytime they woke up so they got used to knowing I would always come back. It had a lot to do with seperation anxiety. Babies dont really get time so trying to teach them that mom will always come check on them and meet their needs(especially food and nappy changes) is a must. What you dont have to do once you have made sure that they arent hungry or dirty is pick them up. They need to learn comfort beyond the physical. In a way this helps them develop emotionally to know mom and dad are always there but not to give in and pick them up everytime they cry. I had to learn not to react in an emotional sense.

With that said, my son had a hard time for quite awhile with colic and it was white noise that helped. We noticed it when he feel asleep while my mom was using her hair dryer. We actually did get him to sleep by being in the room using it, until we discovered the good old box fan. Im convinced his adhd caused sensory issues and that the constant of the white noise some how helped him organize all the stimuli a new baby has to take in so he could sleep. When you think about the amount of developing that happens the first year, it makes sense.

Fuzzy12
05-22-17, 05:43 AM
That is what I would try, maybe because she is getting older less naps in the daytime?

Hyperactivity is normal trait in early life.

Do you find is she more sensitive that other children her age?

Do you think she could be to hot, or uncomfortable in her cot?

Does she have a blanket she prefers?

I find fresh air can help me sleep as well.

Take my posts with a grain of salt.

Some parents make their children go to sleep on a schedule, and it seems to work for them.

My son is 20 now, and I never made him go to sleep when he did not feel like it, within reason.

We used to have some amazing conversations at bedtime, I wonder if you attempt to communicate with her, while she lies in her cot?

I could be bias because I had a hard time sleeping, had severe separation anxiety (probably still do in some form) and do not like to tell my son to go to sleep if he does not feel like it.

The fact that this happens only around the cot, may rule out, pain from her teeth, growing pains, etc.

My apologies if I am annoying, I am not an expert or nine months old, but I can relate to being hyperactive and sometimes act like I am nine months old.


m

Im not sure if she's hyper sensitive for her age. How would I know? It akways seems to me like other babies of her age are a bit more mellow but I can't be sure.

I've tried different layers of clothing in case she's too hot or too cold. No difference.

The problem is that she is obviously tired but won't sleep. I wouldn't mind her going to bed earlier or later but it doesn't seem to make the difference.

Also all babies get separation anxiety and it's supposed to peak around 9 months.

mildadhd
05-22-17, 07:31 AM
Im not sure if she's hyper sensitive for her age. How would I know? It akways seems to me like other babies of her age are a bit more mellow but I can't be sure.

I've tried different layers of clothing in case she's too hot or too cold. No difference.

The problem is that she is obviously tired but won't sleep. I wouldn't mind her going to bed earlier or later but it doesn't seem to make the difference.

Also all babies get separation anxiety and it's supposed to peak around 9 months.

I am not an expert, I can only speak from my own experiences, and what I have been told.

Example I was adopted/underweight experienced distress and separation distress of adoption.

I spent the first ten days in a hospital, without any consistent primary caregiver, it is well known that mammals who do not have a consistent caregiver in the first days/weeks of life, often experience less development , and later symptoms of ADHD, than infants that do.

Then to a foster home, then adopted about 3 months.

In my case I never cried, at all, after my parents adopted which I was told is a bad thing.

My separation anxiety/distress was obvious as a young child, after the age of nine months.

Any time I was apart from my parents is when I would cry, there are stories of me getting up wherever I was staying, going outside and trying to go home in the middle of the night.

One time my parents went away and I was watched by my aunt and uncle, they took me camping, I got up in the middle of the night tried to go home and they found me out in the middle of the night wandering around looking for my parents.

Always peed the bed when separated from my parents.

I do not remember these implicit memories.

But as I got older and do remember staying at friends over night, and be super anxious, get up and leave in the middle of the night and walk home, and bang on my door til my parents let me in.

My mother opted out of kindergarten because I would get so up set, if left me any where.

The first day of school was a complete nightmare, for me, peed myself at school.

Failed grade two, etc.

I never knew why I was upset, or felt so anxious.

My point is maybe there is normal separation anxiety and abnormal separation anxiety.

Now many adoptions try to accommodate for these types of early distresses, that can result in ADHD symptoms later.

I am working on a thread about temperaments, that I hope to post soon, if your interested in discussing about temperaments.

I am not an expert, but it does not seem like abnormal separation distress in your daughters case.

I am just happy you are considering separation anxiety/distress, because in my case I think it, caused at least in part my ADHD.

Sarahsweets mentioned some good ideas, I sleep with a fan on now, really helps but did not mention it to you because I was not sure if it was good or not at 9 months of age.

I hope You figure things out and get some rest.


m

Fuzzy12
05-22-17, 08:01 AM
I have had to let me kids cry it out sometimes but that wasnt until they were a little older and knew how to settle themselves better. I did the thing where I stood by the crib and patted their back, then the next night just stood there and then left. I would let them cry for 15 minutes then go back in, give a pat and cover back up, say I love you and leave. I repeated this cycle everytime they woke up so they got used to knowing I would always come back. It had a lot to do with seperation anxiety. Babies dont really get time so trying to teach them that mom will always come check on them and meet their needs(especially food and nappy changes) is a must. What you dont have to do once you have made sure that they arent hungry or dirty is pick them up. They need to learn comfort beyond the physical. In a way this helps them develop emotionally to know mom and dad are always there but not to give in and pick them up everytime they cry. I had to learn not to react in an emotional sense.

With that said, my son had a hard time for quite awhile with colic and it was white noise that helped. We noticed it when he feel asleep while my mom was using her hair dryer. We actually did get him to sleep by being in the room using it, until we discovered the good old box fan. Im convinced his adhd caused sensory issues and that the constant of the white noise some how helped him organize all the stimuli a new baby has to take in so he could sleep. When you think about the amount of developing that happens the first year, it makes sense.

The white noise is a good idea that I haven't tried yet. I'll try that.

I try to first pat and shush her to sleep but she wants to be picked up. She starts crying and just wakes herself up more.

We've had some problems with weight gain when she was very young so I'm still very worried avoid that. She's finally steadily gaining decent amount of weight so I'm reluctant to feed her less but it's really complicated. The health visitor thanks because she's feeding so much at night she isn't having enough of solids in the day. She wants me to breastfeed her just twice a day but that's rubbish I think. Even the nhs Web page says that milk is the main source of nutrition for the first year and solids are just for the experience. I do wonder though if the balance of milk and solids is wrong and that's making it more difficult for her to sleep. There are just too many things that could be a factor.

Fuzzy12
05-22-17, 08:02 AM
She's been napping for more than 2h now, which is great for me because I csn get a lot of things done but I'm wondering if that will interfere with her night time sleep. She must be tired though considering she kept waking up last night.

Caco3girl
05-22-17, 09:19 AM
My advice is based solely on my personal experience with ONE child and I am not an expert.

My child had sleeping problems because:
1. I let her take too long of a nap during the day.

2. She was hungry, put cereal in with her formula/breast milk

3. She had gas because I fed her right before bed, gas drops worked well. Feed her, give gas drops, burp her.

4. She wanted to be up against something...I got her a teddy bear that had kind of long hair so even if she somehow got her mouth right up on it there was still room to breath.

5. She wanted to be on her stomach and I kept putting her on her back because that's what the doctors said to do....once I gave in and let her sleep on her stomach she was MUCH better about sleeping longer.

Little Missy
05-22-17, 09:26 AM
Babies want to sleep on their stomachs and NHS or not, she is old enough to sleep on her stomach.

Lace that bottle with cereal, pronto.:)

Fuzzy12
05-22-17, 10:53 PM
We tried the fan for white noise (and also because it's a million degrees today) and I'm not sure if it's that's why but fuzzling just slept from 20.30 to 3.30. :eek::faint:


II also finally managed to get her to fall asleep in her cot. Took note than 2h bit maybe that really helped. Not sure. I'm hoping it's not just a random coincidence.
I was going to list yesterday thst she always sleeps on her side and never on her tummy but yesterday for some reason she slept in her tummy:lol:

Maybe it's just a random occurrence bit I'm hoping this is the start of better ynkmgs to come.

I skep at midnight so I got a solid 3.5h of sleep ax well :yes:

Im trying to find a reasonably safe comforter tgat she can sleep with a night but they are all huge. I want something very small very soft and with no sort of blanket attachthr other thing us she only had a long morning nap and nothing after that till bedtime (not for want of trying . )/

mildadhd
05-23-17, 12:09 AM
My son loves anything made of silk, silk napkins. (no pun intended).

Silk tag on his teddy bear was his favourite, etc.

Hope Fuzzy12 and Peripatetic get some sleep.


m

Kunga Dorji
05-23-17, 04:32 AM
Sorry this has got nothing to do with adhd but I've scoured everything else (forums and experts) and I'm just not reading anything new that might help.

Fuzzling is almost 9 months old. Till recently we had a great bedtime routine going at the end of which she would happily fall asleep in her cot. She'd wake up 2-3 times in the night and I'd breastfeed her back to sleep.

Suddenly about 2 weeks ago the bedtime routine stopped working. She goes absolutely hyperactive in her cot, babbling, rolling around and banging her head against the cot sides. This goes on till she's so tired that she's cranky and cries but she still won't sleep. Every night we've had to rock or hold her till she falls asleep and then transfer her to her cot when she's in deep sleep. The problem with this is that because she isn't falling asleep in her cot everytime she wakes up (about every hour: babies sleep cycles are short) she gets upset because she can't settle herself back to sleep.

I wouldn't mind feeding her tò sleep every time but even that isn't working anymore. She just isn't falling asleep any where anymore (at night...she's better with day time naps. Not great but better). She refuses to sleep till she gets so exhausted that she just cries like crazy and then finally crashes due to sheer exhaustion (and wakes up an hour later).

I want to avoid this of course. I also don't want to try any cry it out or controlled crying methods. We've tried putting her to bed later and also earlier. Nothing works. I'm not sure what has changed. Maybe it's separation anxiety but I'm right there and she wouldn't even fall asleep on me.

I'm desperate. And exhausted. It's taking more than 2h to put her to bed and then she wakes up every hour. Hubby comforts her to sleep for quite a few wakings though it takes him a lot longer of course because nursing just is the quickest. Anyway the real problem is going to bed initially. I can deal with her waking up again.

all this aggravation at bed time cant be good for fuzzling either. It seems she's just forgotten how to fall asleep (which is probably exactly what has happened) but how can we help her learn yhst again?


Banging her head? It sounds like she might be in pain.
I have plenty of issues with neck pain, but it used to cause awful headaches.
It wouldn't surprise me if an infant would bang her head in response to a headache like that.

Fuzzy12
05-23-17, 06:29 AM
Banging her head? It sounds like she might be in pain.
I have plenty of issues with neck pain, but it used to cause awful headaches.
It wouldn't surprise me if an infant would bang her head in response to a headache like that.
No she isn't purposefully banging her head. Basically she rolls from side to side and her head bangs against the side of the cot whole she is rolling.

Caco3girl
05-23-17, 01:30 PM
No she isn't purposefully banging her head. Basically she rolls from side to side and her head bangs against the side of the cot whole she is rolling.

Is there anything in there with her? A pillow? A bear?

Fuzzy12
05-23-17, 02:11 PM
Is there anything in there with her? A pillow? A bear?

No nothing. You aren't supposed to have anything in thr cot because of the danger of sids. She's got a tiny little soft toy hanging from thr side. It's not very cuddly but super safe. Yesterday I was able yo distract her with that everytime she started whimpering so maybe that could be her comforter.

Normally when she starts banging her head I take her out from the cot and we try a not later again to put her to bed.

peripatetic
05-23-17, 03:13 PM
so, i think i've mentioned this to you before (though i might not've), but there are these cognitive leaps babies make at various points and nearly all of them are likely to bring about sleep regression for a bit. so, sorta, two steps back, five steps forward.

if you search for "wonder weeks chart" you'll find what i mean. i didn't buy the book or anything, but i did find my small girl's development was on that track and she was fussier, clingier, etc, during those times.

Caco3girl
05-23-17, 03:29 PM
No nothing. You aren't supposed to have anything in thr cot because of the danger of sids. She's got a tiny little soft toy hanging from thr side. It's not very cuddly but super safe. Yesterday I was able yo distract her with that everytime she started whimpering so maybe that could be her comforter.

Normally when she starts banging her head I take her out from the cot and we try a not later again to put her to bed.

I said on the previous page that one of the things that helped my daughter was a stuffed animal.

I am not saying SIDS does not exist, it absolutely does and I feel just terrible for any parent that has to go through that. However, no one knows what causes SIDS. There are guesses....one use to be that the infant couldn't expand their chest well so they should be laying face down, making it easier to breath....then the NEW theory came out about no, that's not right, they are breathing in their CO2 if they are face down, they must be laid down face UP. Now they say sleeping in a stroller is bad and in a car seat.

Here are the facts. Most babies who die of SIDS are 2-4 months old. No one really knows what causes SIDS.

I am a firm believer that even if you watched a baby 24/7 if they are going to die from SIDS they just are, nothing you do can stop that. However, you can give your 9 month old a cuddle toy, in my opinion.

-Mother of an 8 year old girl, who slept on her belly and was fed formula from day one....she's brilliant and healthy.

Fuzzy12
05-23-17, 04:18 PM
I said on the previous page that one of the things that helped my daughter was a stuffed animal.

I am not saying SIDS does not exist, it absolutely does and I feel just terrible for any parent that has to go through that. However, no one knows what causes SIDS. There are guesses....one use to be that the infant couldn't expand their chest well so they should be laying face down, making it easier to breath....then the NEW theory came out about no, that's not right, they are breathing in their CO2 if they are face down, they must be laid down face UP. Now they say sleeping in a stroller is bad and in a car seat.

Here are the facts. Most babies who die of SIDS are 2-4 months old. No one really knows what causes SIDS.

I am a firm believer that even if you watched a baby 24/7 if they are going to die from SIDS they just are, nothing you do can stop that. However, you can give your 9 month old a cuddle toy, in my opinion.

-Mother of an 8 year old girl, who slept on her belly and was fed formula from day one....she's brilliant and healthy.


Well there are things that you can do to reduce the risk of sids. Putting babies to sleep on their backs rather than their tummies has brought down significantly the number of sids cases. Of course overall the risk of dying from sids is not very high but if I can do anything to avoid becoming one of those rare cases I'd like to do it.

At 9 months she should probably be ok with a soft toy. She can roll easily boh ways and she can remove anything from her face that's troubling her.

Even then I'm just not comfortable with most comforters. I don't understand why they are all so huge and either come with anything by thing blanket or are so flat thst they themselves work as a blanket. I wish I could find something that's small and very soft without any large flat surfaces.

Johnny Slick
05-23-17, 04:22 PM
We tried the fan for white noise (and also because it's a million degrees today) and I'm not sure if it's that's why but fuzzling just slept from 20.30 to 3.30. :eek::faint:


II also finally managed to get her to fall asleep in her cot. Took note than 2h bit maybe that really helped. Not sure. I'm hoping it's not just a random coincidence.
I was going to list yesterday thst she always sleeps on her side and never on her tummy but yesterday for some reason she slept in her tummy:lol:

Maybe it's just a random occurrence bit I'm hoping this is the start of better ynkmgs to come.

I skep at midnight so I got a solid 3.5h of sleep ax well :yes:

Im trying to find a reasonably safe comforter tgat she can sleep with a night but they are all huge. I want something very small very soft and with no sort of blanket attachthr other thing us she only had a long morning nap and nothing after that till bedtime (not for want of trying . )/I know you say it's got nothing to do with ADHD and I know that that age is waaay too early to start diagnosing, but... I know I, as a full grown adult, can get really distracted from trying to sleep if something feels wrong, and ironically enough my ability to control distractions only gets worse the more tired I get, so maybe it's something to look out for later on, I guess?

Fuzzy12
05-23-17, 04:27 PM
so, i think i've mentioned this to you before (though i might not've), but there are these cognitive leaps babies make at various points and nearly all of them are likely to bring about sleep regression for a bit. so, sorta, two steps back, five steps forward.

if you search for "wonder weeks chart" you'll find what i mean. i didn't buy the book or anything, but i did find my small girl's development was on that track and she was fussier, clingier, etc, during those times.
Yes I've read avoid the wonder weeks. I'm pretty sure it's something developmental, either separation anxiety or just her being too stimulated to sleep with all the skills she's picking up. She's been babbling non stop. Her word of the day today was GOIDL. :lol:

If it's a phase though I wonder when it will stop. Today it's again been 2.5h so far and she still isn't asleep. She has just started goidling again. :doh:

peripatetic
05-23-17, 07:09 PM
haha!!

so, get this:

the last couple of nights my small girl has been waking at around 2.30 and crying out. partner really wanted to leave her sit the first night. he went in and out of sleep for the next hour. i did not. so last night i was, like, new plan needed. so we agreed i'd bring her into the bed for fifteen to twenty to calm her down, then back to her crib (*if* she cried out again, etc)

so, fast forward and she's wailing so i go to get her to bring her to bed.

she's naked.

totally naked.

i was, like, what the...??! she did NOT go to bed naked. but she had taken off her pajamas, her socks, and her diaper/nappy and strewn them across the room.

so i had to basically put her back together again, then into our bed for about fifteen, then back into her crib and she went down within five.

i have no idea what tonight holds in store for me... but i do know that being ready for potty training includes being able to take off pants and not like wetness against skin...so that's positive ;)

anyway, you might have nekked baby in the middle of the night to look forward to :D xx

Fuzzy12
05-23-17, 07:24 PM
Awww...that's so cute!! They surprise me again and again. Who'd have ever thought that such tiny little humans could be so adorable?? :eek:

Impromptu_DTour
05-23-17, 07:33 PM
Any experience I can share comes from being a dad of 1 little monster who just turned 2.

What i can definately say is.. man.. how good did we have it.. when we could sleep. Never before have i valued sleeping as deeply.. as i do now.

Figuring out how to align your kid to some kind of sleep schedule.. man it seems like theres a book for every technique, and the pros and cons, and concerns and worries about introducing development issues.. gah.. its been a nightmare.. and what makes it even worse.. is that once you find something.. theres no guarentee that it will be something that you (as a sleep depraived parent) can depend on for any measurable amount of time..

we had to just roll with what came.. and i did alot of research into the development milestones.. and 9 months is one of them for sleep regression. stuffs leveling up in that munchkin you got there, and that brain is rewireing and creating neurons all over the place.. i know that doesnt comfort in the least.. but it can be an exciting diversion..

we decided to co-sleep (i know.. "boo".. pfft). It was just so much easier for my partner (i was in a different county, putting together a move, and engineering school). It wasnt even the ease of just not having to get up.. it was a research project to its own.. but to warn Peri.. theres nothin like mum and pops bed, eh?

Hes finally sleeping in his room.. and finally sleeping through the night. After an arduous process of introducing him to his own bed, in his own room.. (which we werent able to fully do until we moved, and he had a "new" room to program this schedule to).. we still layed down with him until he fell asleep, and often.. he would only stay asleep for like.. 2.. 3 hours if we sacrificed to the right deity that evening..

then.. all of a sudden he started sleeping through the night. there wasnt really anything we did differently except to remain consistent and .. know that the time will come.. i feel so bad for her through, its been exhausting.. not only for me, but especially for her. I ended up staying up until he would wake up, so she wouldnt have to go get him to bring him to our bed.

Naptimes.. we discovered early into the game that the vacuum cleaner is the most useful tool in that house to get him to sleep.. we'd put him in his rocker, and turn on the vacuum.. it was an instant fit-buster.. and in no time flat he'd be sleeping.

i think it has something to do with what the inside of a womb sounds like to a baby. cause it sure as hell aint nice and quiet..

with our efforts in cosleeping though.. i has yet to teach himself a self soothing method. which is the thing im working on right now.. it sucks though.. because when you try and substitute a soft plush bunny for him playing with your hair, when hes nursing a bottle and juuuust about to fall asleep... *bing* he'll wake right up and it'll be another .. 2 hours.

i know your struggle.. just ride it out and keep asking around.. and expect it to change again ( i think at least a couple more times )

you will get your full night of sleep again..

iDTour

Caco3girl
05-24-17, 10:52 AM
Well there are things that you can do to reduce the risk of sids. Putting babies to sleep on their backs rather than their tummies has brought down significantly the number of sids cases. Of course overall the risk of dying from sids is not very high but if I can do anything to avoid becoming one of those rare cases I'd like to do it.

At 9 months she should probably be ok with a soft toy. She can roll easily boh ways and she can remove anything from her face that's troubling her.

Even then I'm just not comfortable with most comforters. I don't understand why they are all so huge and either come with anything by thing blanket or are so flat thst they themselves work as a blanket. I wish I could find something that's small and very soft without any large flat surfaces.

When you say comforter, I assume you are talking about a stuffed animal, my daughter loved her medium sized beanie baby. It was a white dog with pink spots. If you are actually talking about a blanket we went with a crocheted blanket...lots of little holes for her to breath fine through but still give her warmth.

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 11:21 AM
Omg she just ate some glossy paper. We were at the vet and she was crying so I gave her some brochure to play with. Too many little beings to take care of at the same time.

I've decided I'm not going to freak out about this one. Or should I??

Also apologies for hijacking my thread...

Caco3girl
05-24-17, 11:40 AM
Omg she just ate some glossy paper. We were at the vet and she was crying so I gave her some brochure to play with. Too many little beings to take care of at the same time.

I've decided I'm not going to freak out about this one. Or should I??

Also apologies for hijacking my thread...

I'm a chemist, the gloss that is used on paper won't harm her even if she ate the whole brochure. Just breath!

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 12:13 PM
I'm a chemist, the gloss that is used on paper won't harm her even if she ate the whole brochure. Just breath!

Phew thanks :grouphug:

Impromptu_DTour
05-24-17, 01:49 PM
Omg she just ate some glossy paper...

...I've decided I'm not going to freak out about this one. Or should I??

i have a sneaking suspicion that this is your first child ;) call me crazy..

j/k :D

iDTour

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 02:29 PM
i have a sneaking suspicion that this is your first child ;) call me crazy..

j/k :D

iDTour

Umm yes :o:
:lol:

I guess the second one I'd be feeding paper....:scratch:

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 02:41 PM
When you say comforter, I assume you are talking about a stuffed animal, my daughter loved her medium sized beanie baby. It was a white dog with pink spots. If you are actually talking about a blanket we went with a crocheted blanket...lots of little holes for her to breath fine through but still give her warmth.

Yes I mean a stuffed animal like a teddy. Something to comfort her in her cot and to signal it's sleeping time. We've been given a few but I am not keen on leaving her overnight with any of them. They are all blanket like. Also she's played with them ajd seems a bit bored of them. I've been trying to find something on amazon but I just can't decide.

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 02:43 PM
She's in her cot. Hyper again and she was so sleepy just 5 min ago. I should have put her to bed earlier but I haven't showered in a couple of days and I was desperate for one.

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 02:48 PM
If it's just a phase, just a wonder week, should I persevere with the bed time routine? It's supposed to withal to her that it's time to sleep but it's lost all meaning now as it's 2h or more till she finally falls asleep so she won't associate it with the routine anymore.

I'm reluctant to let it go though. It took me ages and a lot of planning and fine tuning to make it work. When it finally did it worked like a charm...

Fuzzy12
05-24-17, 04:02 PM
Any experience I can share comes from being a dad of 1 little monster who just turned 2.

What i can definately say is.. man.. how good did we have it.. when we could sleep. Never before have i valued sleeping as deeply.. as i do now.

Figuring out how to align your kid to some kind of sleep schedule.. man it seems like theres a book for every technique, and the pros and cons, and concerns and worries about introducing development issues.. gah.. its been a nightmare.. and what makes it even worse.. is that once you find something.. theres no guarentee that it will be something that you (as a sleep depraived parent) can depend on for any measurable amount of time..

we had to just roll with what came.. and i did alot of research into the development milestones.. and 9 months is one of them for sleep regression. stuffs leveling up in that munchkin you got there, and that brain is rewireing and creating neurons all over the place.. i know that doesnt comfort in the least.. but it can be an exciting diversion..

we decided to co-sleep (i know.. "boo".. pfft). It was just so much easier for my partner (i was in a different county, putting together a move, and engineering school). It wasnt even the ease of just not having to get up.. it was a research project to its own.. but to warn Peri.. theres nothin like mum and pops bed, eh?

Hes finally sleeping in his room.. and finally sleeping through the night. After an arduous process of introducing him to his own bed, in his own room.. (which we werent able to fully do until we moved, and he had a "new" room to program this schedule to).. we still layed down with him until he fell asleep, and often.. he would only stay asleep for like.. 2.. 3 hours if we sacrificed to the right deity that evening..

then.. all of a sudden he started sleeping through the night. there wasnt really anything we did differently except to remain consistent and .. know that the time will come.. i feel so bad for her through, its been exhausting.. not only for me, but especially for her. I ended up staying up until he would wake up, so she wouldnt have to go get him to bring him to our bed.

Naptimes.. we discovered early into the game that the vacuum cleaner is the most useful tool in that house to get him to sleep.. we'd put him in his rocker, and turn on the vacuum.. it was an instant fit-buster.. and in no time flat he'd be sleeping.

i think it has something to do with what the inside of a womb sounds like to a baby. cause it sure as hell aint nice and quiet..

with our efforts in cosleeping though.. i has yet to teach himself a self soothing method. which is the thing im working on right now.. it sucks though.. because when you try and substitute a soft plush bunny for him playing with your hair, when hes nursing a bottle and juuuust about to fall asleep... *bing* he'll wake right up and it'll be another .. 2 hours.

i know your struggle.. just ride it out and keep asking around.. and expect it to change again ( i think at least a couple more times )

you will get your full night of sleep again..

iDTour

Thanks for the support. I guess at some point she'll start sleeping through again (she did when she was 4 months..for a few weeks but I didn't appreciate it then as I was so qofried about her weight gain thst I kept wanting to wake her to feed)

I wouldn't even mind so much if she must gets up every 2h like she used to but taking 2h to put her to bed initially is really wearing me out. That and her then waking up every hour.:rolleyes:

She's still sleeping in our room. In a cot next to our bed. I can't even imagine putting her in her own room. From her point of view it probably wouldn't make too big a difference since I stay with her till she falls asleep anyway and me being right next to her she's somehow never found good enough. She wants to be held or fed when she wakes up. Co sleeping won't do either. In the night she just wants to be held.

I'm just babbling. Today it took just 1.5h to.out her to bed but I'm exhausted. It just seems to suck all energy out of me. I'm still grieving the loss of our bedtime routine...

Little Missy
05-24-17, 05:01 PM
Do you have one of those seat/tray/wheel-around jobs to sit her in so she can try to walk herself around safe things? Babies LOVE those. With a biscuit to gnaw on and throw in the tray.

Seriously, this is what babies do. And they love it.

Nobody ever believes me.

Little Missy
05-24-17, 05:09 PM
STEFFFFF!!!!??? Stef???!!!!

Impromptu_DTour
05-24-17, 09:21 PM
Thanks for the support. I guess at some point she'll start sleeping through again (she did when she was 4 months..for a few weeks but I didn't appreciate it then as I was so qofried about her weight gain thst I kept wanting to wake her to feed)

I wouldn't even mind so much if she must gets up every 2h like she used to but taking 2h to put her to bed initially is really wearing me out. That and her then waking up every hour.:rolleyes:

She's still sleeping in our room. In a cot next to our bed. I can't even imagine putting her in her own room. From her point of view it probably wouldn't make too big a difference since I stay with her till she falls asleep anyway and me being right next to her she's somehow never found good enough. She wants to be held or fed when she wakes up. Co sleeping won't do either. In the night she just wants to be held.

I'm just babbling. Today it took just 1.5h to.out her to bed but I'm exhausted. It just seems to suck all energy out of me. I'm still grieving the loss of our bedtime routine...

feel free to babble all you want around here about this stuff, from the parents here on the forum you'll find nothing but support.. weve either all been there, or are going through it.

Its really hard to remain functional on the level of not only a caregiver, but also a homemaker ( and maybe even also a student or employed, or managing your own business, i dont know what your home situation is )

It was a very deep struggle for us, but my SO works full time as the breadwinner, and i was going to school almost double time in an engineering school a county away, coming back on the weekends to clean up the house, dishes and do laundry, and let her sleep. It wasnt very much of a life.. and it was really taxing on us in alot of ways..

no situation is the same, i dont want to freak you out. what i mean to be getting at is, this time is important not only for you as a mother, but also for your baby. We're both control freaks, and very career driven.. so.. honestly having a kid when we did kinda ****** everything up.. and it was really challenging (for both of us) to accept that this time is our childs.. and hes going through so much on a neurological level, so so rapidly.. not even just growth and development.. but like.. the guy had the right to be a psychotic wishy washy insomniac..

i dont know if you're a "baby-whisperer" or will become one.. but for us.. (the driven control freaks), we had to submit to the realization that we cant control how this develops, how quickly the development is, or even if the development sticks from one week to the next..

it really cemented the whole undieing parental loyalty/servitude its been a long time since either of us had to place our own lives second to anything but eachother.. especially while letting go of an expectation on when it will come back.

in fact, fighting to keep him cemented to a schedule during a sleep regression, or some kind of developmental milestone.. often made things harder on all of us. we had to take a backseat and learn what was going on, and get creative about finding 'the next big thing' that will work. for us, cosleeping worked well because our own commitments required some measure of sleep.. even if it was still crappy. it was just easier to pull him over and nurse, before he fully woke up.

it wasnt until.. like.. literally last week that he started sleeping the whole night through.. and it wasnt until maybe a month or so prior to that, where he would stay asleep in his room, for 2 or 3 hours.. before that.. he woke up ever 2 hours and .. always woke up to the day earlier.. and with a god damn smile on his face no less.. :mad: :rolleyes: :lol:

im using.. alot of words i think.. to say.. dont ever feel bad about being frustrated, especially during these regressions, its so so easy to fall to that negative energy.

try not to get frustrated, but dont beat yourself up (or her) when you do.

talk (and babble) often. The worst thing is to come to a place where you believe you're alone in the whole ordeal, are unsupported, or that people who want to support you just cant understand.

its tough.. i get it. i dont think any of us will ever be able to tell you solidly what "will definately work", "this date is coming up therefore change all the lightbulbs to red ones", "put away the vacuum and get a sound machine with a train on it".. i mean.. i think its far to say you'll never have a shortage of suggestions to try.. :D

if you can have fun with this time, and understand that it is.. going to be what it is.. it'll be alot easier to manage yourself and your expectations.

iDTour

sarahsweets
05-25-17, 06:09 AM
I let my babies sleep on their stomachs one they hit the 2-3 month mark and i used crib bumpers and a blanket. I did not have stuffed animals in the crib because of the blanket, My son was colicky and I often let him sleep in the swing. My youngest love being rocked in her carseat and in fact, when we had to get her used to her crib we started by putting her carseat in the crib and slowly began to get her used to not sleeping in the carseat.
I brought my babies into bed when I was exhausted and they were tiny. Sometimes I had to prop the bottle to deal with my other kids. I used to put the tv on when they were in their playpen. I let them use the walker with wheels and follow me all over house.When they were old enough to play in a play rooms, I used the baby gate to keep them in the playroom which we kid-proofed.. I used cabinet locks but only for a short time.I took them out with me even when they were little babies.
I used to bring the walker into the bathroom when I showered and sometimes brought them into the shower with me.

I let them suck on and play with things that werent toys like pots and pans. I put cereal in my sons bottle before the doctor gave his ok.
I gave them solids at around 5-6 months. I tried not to worry when i had my first baby and by the second and third I practically let them juggle knives. If they fell asleep in the high chair I let them sleep.
My oldest is 21 some of the"rules'were more lax then today but not by much.
Were these thing bad? I dont know, but I still did them because it kept me sane. It was hard being out numbered when they were little. Were all these things right or safe?I dont know but worrying about doing the "rignt thing"listed the baby books just didnt work out all the time. We can make ourselves nuts with the helicopter parenting.

I am not saying i am an expert its just that getting through the first baby made it easier for the other babies. My kinds survived and thrived and I dont think I woud have made it otherwise.

Little Missy
05-25-17, 06:17 AM
A walker, that's what I meant! GOOD POST!!! from Sarah

Fuzzy12
05-25-17, 07:40 AM
Love the psychotic wishy washy insomniac....:lol:

I'm actually having fun. Lots of it. Fuzzling is fascinating and she amazes me every day. I.love reading up on child development when I get the time and trying to understand what goes on in that little noggin of hers. Lots apparently. Crazy lots.

So I'm not upset. I'm happier, I think, than I've been in more than a decade. I do get frustrated though when things don't work according to plan (guess I'm a bit of a control freak too) but only in that moment. When she finally falls asleep, snoring loudly, or to sound clichéd when she smiles.. it's all good again.

Well, except when she got sunburnt. I cried for days about that one.

I forgot my point. I think I did have one. :scratch:



feel free to babble all you want around here about this stuff, from the parents here on the forum you'll find nothing but support.. weve either all been there, or are going through it.

Its really hard to remain functional on the level of not only a caregiver, but also a homemaker ( and maybe even also a student or employed, or managing your own business, i dont know what your home situation is )

It was a very deep struggle for us, but my SO works full time as the breadwinner, and i was going to school almost double time in an engineering school a county away, coming back on the weekends to clean up the house, dishes and do laundry, and let her sleep. It wasnt very much of a life.. and it was really taxing on us in alot of ways..

no situation is the same, i dont want to freak you out. what i mean to be getting at is, this time is important not only for you as a mother, but also for your baby. We're both control freaks, and very career driven.. so.. honestly having a kid when we did kinda ****** everything up.. and it was really challenging (for both of us) to accept that this time is our childs.. and hes going through so much on a neurological level, so so rapidly.. not even just growth and development.. but like.. the guy had the right to be a psychotic wishy washy insomniac..

i dont know if you're a "baby-whisperer" or will become one.. but for us.. (the driven control freaks), we had to submit to the realization that we cant control how this develops, how quickly the development is, or even if the development sticks from one week to the next..

it really cemented the whole undieing parental loyalty/servitude its been a long time since either of us had to place our own lives second to anything but eachother.. especially while letting go of an expectation on when it will come back.

in fact, fighting to keep him cemented to a schedule during a sleep regression, or some kind of developmental milestone.. often made things harder on all of us. we had to take a backseat and learn what was going on, and get creative about finding 'the next big thing' that will work. for us, cosleeping worked well because our own commitments required some measure of sleep.. even if it was still crappy. it was just easier to pull him over and nurse, before he fully woke up.

it wasnt until.. like.. literally last week that he started sleeping the whole night through.. and it wasnt until maybe a month or so prior to that, where he would stay asleep in his room, for 2 or 3 hours.. before that.. he woke up ever 2 hours and .. always woke up to the day earlier.. and with a god damn smile on his face no less.. :mad: :rolleyes: :lol:

im using.. alot of words i think.. to say.. dont ever feel bad about being frustrated, especially during these regressions, its so so easy to fall to that negative energy.

try not to get frustrated, but dont beat yourself up (or her) when you do.

talk (and babble) often. The worst thing is to come to a place where you believe you're alone in the whole ordeal, are unsupported, or that people who want to support you just cant understand.

its tough.. i get it. i dont think any of us will ever be able to tell you solidly what "will definately work", "this date is coming up therefore change all the lightbulbs to red ones", "put away the vacuum and get a sound machine with a train on it".. i mean.. i think its far to say you'll never have a shortage of suggestions to try.. :D

if you can have fun with this time, and understand that it is.. going to be what it is.. it'll be alot easier to manage yourself and your expectations.

iDTour

Caco3girl
05-25-17, 08:54 AM
My daughter use to love her little bouncy chair...it vibrated and if you tapped it it rocked the kid. I use to sit there and tap it until she fell asleep, then I would pick her up and take her to her crib and lay her on her tummy. She didn't wake up.

She slept in her room with the TV on low for some noise and light from about month 2. Perhaps you should have her asleep fully before you lay her down?

And yes child one you are all "Is she warm enough, is she too cold, is her bed soft enough, is her bed too hard, is that shirt too tight, will it affect her breathing?!?!?!?!", and by kid two you are like "Awe, she crashed on the floor again fully clothed, how cute"...and you toss a blanket over her and call it good.

peripatetic
05-25-17, 03:40 PM
If it's just a phase, just a wonder week, should I persevere with the bed time routine? It's supposed to withal to her that it's time to sleep but it's lost all meaning now as it's 2h or more till she finally falls asleep so she won't associate it with the routine anymore.

I'm reluctant to let it go though. It took me ages and a lot of planning and fine tuning to make it work. When it finally did it worked like a charm...

i kinda adapted to her for a while, but kept up the routine itself. so, like, she always has gotten last meal--play/stories--bath--massage--pajamas--song--bassinet/crib.

but we adjusted the bath to be when she started yawning/eye rubbing. which was sometimes earlier sometimes later.

we gave her a plush hippo, medium sized jellycat one, at about the age fuzzling is. we moved her into her own room around eleven months (had planned to wait until one year, but we kept waking each other up). she went without incident.

i didn't put cereal in the bottle, we did baby led weaning, and i always put her down on her back (though she would turn herself over about half the time once she was able...and then she stopped being swaddled), we used this sleep sack thing to keep her warm instead of a blanket until she was about one. she's 26 months and still has no pillow, though i'm getting her one within the next month.

i will say this though, so take all of the above for what you will: i'm told that i have a very easy baby with most things, and i think it's probably true. if i'd had a colicky baby or just a less "easy" one, i'm sure i'd've adjusted as needed.

we did and do give her a dummy/paci. she only uses it for naps and overnights, and she's got to give it up this summer when my husband is off school, and that's maybe going to suck.

hope that helps. xx

stef
05-25-17, 04:12 PM
wow I guess I had an easy baby!
i remember some periods though, it must have been that cognitive thing, of waking in the night after weeks of sleeping through the night

Is she having her dinner early enough?
maybe you could really wear her out playing early evening
then bath/ food/ sleepy baby
( this is super French)

I remember my son being terribly fussy but its because i should have fed him a little earlier
( instead of trying to organize baby meal+adult meal, at the same time)

Fuzzy12
05-25-17, 04:46 PM
i kinda adapted to her for a while, but kept up the routine itself. so, like, she always has gotten last meal--play/stories--bath--massage--pajamas--song--bassinet/crib.

but we adjusted the bath to be when she started yawning/eye rubbing. which was sometimes earlier sometimes later.

we gave her a plush hippo, medium sized jellycat one, at about the age fuzzling is. we moved her into her own room around eleven months (had planned to wait until one year, but we kept waking each other up). she went without incident.

i didn't put cereal in the bottle, we did baby led weaning, and i always put her down on her back (though she would turn herself over about half the time once she was able...and then she stopped being swaddled), we used this sleep sack thing to keep her warm instead of a blanket until she was about one. she's 26 months and still has no pillow, though i'm getting her one within the next month.

i will say this though, so take all of the above for what you will: i'm told that i have a very easy baby with most things, and i think it's probably true. if i'd had a colicky baby or just a less "easy" one, i'm sure i'd've adjusted as needed.

we did and do give her a dummy/paci. she only uses it for naps and overnights, and she's got to give it up this summer when my husband is off school, and that's maybe going to suck.

hope that helps. xx

We do most things the same..I'd have loved to do baby led weaning but just wasn't brave enough. She does get a lot of finger foods and a lot of variety in her food and we only did purees for a week or so but I hold my breath every time she picks up a segment of cocktail tomato ( 1/6 th of a cocktail tomato :eyebrow:). She loves them though. Cocktail tomatoes and blueberries are hee current favourites. She loves all fingerfood so I'm trying to be more adventurous and a bit more brave.

I just got her a comforter. Its neither cuddly nor is it very interesting but it's supposed to be super safe. It basically looks like a dog made from a cellular blanket. Oh well..

I'm not sure if she ks an easy baby. Compared to the other babies I know probably not. Thankfully she was never really colicky but she is definitely not easy going...

At least she's a happy and healthy baby right now. I've finally stopped worrying about her weight gain, her eczema is better and all the other half dozen tests she's had have all turned out to be perfectly fine. And she smiles and laughs a lot so it's all good.

I so hope though she wont be up again in an hour. If she is maybe we'll finally do our reading of goodnight moon then.

Fuzzy12
05-25-17, 04:50 PM
Today she went absolutely hyper again..I didn't wait this tome but took her out from the cot fairly quickly and we played for another hour. Actually almost 2 hours. Totally messed that up. When I finally started putting her to bed she just crashed. Couldn't wake her. I tried going through the whole routine because I wanted her to fall asleep in the cot and not on me but no chance. She was too tired. Couldn't keep her eyes open during good night moon. Poor lil thing. So now I feel horrible for keeping her up that long and I'm annoyed that I didn't get her to fall asleep in her cot. :doh:

Fuzzy12
05-28-17, 07:04 PM
Things aren't better. It seems like we've got a new bed time routine:

Do old bedtime routine

Put fuzzling in her cot

Fuzzling goes hyper

Remove fizzling from her cot after a while and let her play for a bit more

When fuzzling starts looking tired or gets cranky do a reduced version of her routine and then put her back in her cot (mostly asleep).

:(

Most nights also she's waking up now almost every 1.5-2h. I'm absolutely shattered. Fuzzling seems mostly happy so maybe her waking doesn't trouble her.

My eyes are closing so I need yo stop now though I had lots to write

peripatetic
05-28-17, 09:24 PM
hey fuzzy...i hope you're getting some sleep right now.

have you tried pushing back her bedtime a bit? we try waiting until the small girl starts in with eye rubbing/yawning before we do the bath.

maybe trying to adjust the timing would help?

hopefully it'll even out soon and she'll sleep more. if she seems to be doing fine mood wise, can your partner take a shift overnight so you can get some rest?

xx

Fuzzy12
05-28-17, 10:07 PM
hey fuzzy...i hope you're getting some sleep right now.

have you tried pushing back her bedtime a bit? we try waiting until the small girl starts in with eye rubbing/yawning before we do the bath.

maybe trying to adjust the timing would help?

hopefully it'll even out soon and she'll sleep more. if she seems to be doing fine mood wise, can your partner take a shift overnight so you can get some rest?

xx


Thanks peri. We've tried both. Bringing her bedtime forward and pushing it back. She's definitely tired. Rubbing her eyes, yawning, etc. Today when I was feeding her she almost fell asleep but then perked up again when I topped her up with some formula. We've tried to cut out the formula (and everything else after breastfeedjng) with no success. Latest by the time I put her in her cot she is suddenly wide awake again.

I think.there are several problems here and I'm not sure if they are related or not.

1. Bedtime hyperactivity and just not settling down to sleep

2. Waking up too frequently (too frequently to be due to hunger even though feeding her is the easiest and quickest way to get her to sleep again)

3. Separation anxiety. Not sure if this isn't the same as or related to 1 or 2 but tonight she's woken up screaming every time (properly screaming not just crying. Can babies have nightmares??) Just now I fed her and when putting her back in her cot she started crying everytime I removed my hand. She was fine as long as my hand was on her. I finally managed to gradually remove my hand.


I think for point 1 I need to retrain a new bed time routine. She needs again something new to associate with sleeping and for some reason the old bedtime routine isn't doing it for her. Last time it took me months though to get that routine working. Also most steps in it are fairly natural and what I'd be doing anyway (topping and tailing, feeding, etc) ...

What's not helping I think. Is that her nap times are totally screwed up. I've just got too much to do. I am having to go to the vet every day among other things and if we are doing 2 things in a day one of her naps invariably gets screwed (delayed or interrupted). I don't think this has caused the problems as the problems started before this but i don't think it's helping.

Hubby does attend to her sometimes mostly in the evening or early morning but it takes him forever to settle her. Also, when he does she's usually up within an hour again, which made me thought she's genuinely hungry but now she's started waking up shortly after being fed as well.

We are thinking of switching sides so that hubby sleeps next to her (in case Maybe smelling or seeing me makes her want to feed) and having hubby attend to most of her wakings with me just feeding her every 4h or so.

It's also a million degrees right now which I'm sure isn't helping but again this isn't the cause of the problems. When it's cooler she does the same thing.

I better get some sleep now before she wakes up again. Thanks guys for belong me figure this out.

peripatetic
05-28-17, 10:20 PM
do you use a dummy/paci?

mildadhd
05-28-17, 11:08 PM
Hi Fuzzy12

Your health is as equally important in the relationship with your daughter's health.

Especially, if your daughter seems fairly happy, do not feel guilty to ask for some help from other family members that you trust, so you can get a good rest now and again, that is what your husband and other family members are for.

The emotional love you are already giving her is more important developmentally, than keeping any routine.


(mildadhd runs away quickly)

Fuzzy12
05-29-17, 06:07 AM
do you use a dummy/paci?

No dummy. We considered using a dummy at some point but I kept.forgetting about it and now I think there might be no point considering that soon we'd have to wean her off the dummy anyway.

Fuzzy12
05-29-17, 06:12 AM
Hi Fuzzy12

Your health is as equally important in the relationship with your daughter's health.

Especially, if your daughter seems fairly happy, do not feel guilty to ask for some help from other family members that you trust, so you can get a good rest now and again, that is what your husband and other family members are for.

The emotional love you are already giving her is more important developmentally, than keeping any routine.


(mildadhd runs away quickly)

Aww..thanks. we've got family coming over soon (someone or the other is always visiting with us...:rolleyes:) and while they are extremely helpful they can't help with sleep problems. Well, they would probably be happy to take her at night but right now she expects to be breastfed when she wakes up at night. If it's out of hunger or habit or for comfort we don't know.

The only reason why I'm so keen on a routine is because I think a routine will help her to fall asleep more easily and to stay asleep. The current situation just isn't good long term because it means she isn't going to bed when she is tired, she becomes overtired and then finally crashes out. This can't be healthy.

And it's frustrating for me too because I don't know.anymore when she is going to sleep or if she's going to sleep apart from that it's exhausting trying to.put her to sleep. Add to that the frequent night wakings...

sarahsweets
05-29-17, 07:32 AM
Routine was THE most important thing that worked for my kids once I figured out their sleep habits. When the kids were about 5 and under their bedtimes were always 730. They woke up early, like 6 am but it was worth it to have them go to sleep so easily. When we would do things and go places we made it clear that their bedtimes dictated out plans with the exception of like christmas or something big. I had to wait and learn what routine worked for them which is why before I wrote all that other stuff about how I got my son to sleep and all that. One used to love the bath-story-cuddle routine, one loved just cuddles but all of them loved singing. I would go from room to room and sing songs. I love to sing and have a minor in theater so they learned to go to sleep on classic rock like James Taylor or musicals.

Fuzzy12
05-29-17, 10:39 AM
Totally agree with you. Routine is key.

For a few months our routine worked like a charm but now it's suddenly not. I had to first figure out her sleepiness patterns though and then get her used to the routine so that she'd associate the steps wlth bedtime.

Now something has changed and and u can't figure out what. The routine just isn't working anymore.

I think one big mistake we did was to not have a fixed bed time. Well qhen we started I akways started the routine at 9pm because it seemed that's when she finally finished clusterfeeding and was ready to sleep. Then I slowly brought it forward to sometime between 8pm and 9pm. That worked really well for quite a while but I thought that's still a bit late and tried to shift before 8pm. Maybe thst was the mistake. Another mistake was maybe to not have an exact bedtime. It was sometime between 7 and 9pm finally mostly depending on when she had her last nap and dinner.

Then last month when mil was here and we went on holiday her nap times got a bit messed up as well. Right now I'm do busy with having to go to the vet, hospital appointments and checking out nurseries tgat her naps are still not regular. She naps every 2h so it's really difficult to work around that. I try very hard not to delay her first nap but the second is more difficult.

So this us her current routine.

Dinner
Play for 10-60min depending on how tired she seems and how much time there is

Bath (twice a week unless she has soiled herself. We Don't bathe her every day because of her dry skin and also because it's a huge operation. I don't know how people do it. Here it's a 2 man job:eek:)

Vitamins and brush teeth

Say good night to hubby and whoever else is at home

Top her (ie clean her face etc

Moisturise and quick leg massage with a particular song

Breastfeed and top up with formula though she rarely has more than 30ml.

Burp her while walking with her and singing a couple more songs

Read 2 books

Put her in the cot

Sometimes pat and shush her for a few minutes

Now at this point she used to play and babble in the cot for 5-10 min and then fall asleep after which I'd leave the room

Now at some point after breastfeedjng she goes hyper. It doesn't matter how tired she us and how much she's rubbing her eyes etc latest wj3n she hits the cot she's hyper. I can usually mark the point because she sort if straightens or sits up like a meerkat abd starts babbling.

In trying to put her to bed earlier and earlier in case it's overtiredNess but I'm a bit restricted because we just run out of time. On weekdays I'm also quite keen for her to have some time to play with hubby after he comes back from because otherwise she won't see him at all. Or sometimes she naps late or takes forever for dinner.

Anyway the earliest I've tried starting the routine is at 6.30pm. Around 7pm she was in her cot..but still went hyper.

Also she doesn't get up that early. Usually between 7-8.30am. So I don't want to put her to bed too early.

:scratch:

peripatetic
05-29-17, 10:44 AM
you didn't mention lighting, but one thing we do with the small girl is after her bath, she goes into her room and the lights are very low. we even have blackout curtains for her room.

i know fuzzling has eczema concerns, so i understand no daily bath. have you tried regulating the temperature in her room to "mimic" coming out of a bath into a cooler space with dim lighting?

really, though, fuzzy...i think you're doing a LOT and just keep that in mind. babies sometimes just don't do what we expect or what they've let us come to expect. you're possibly feeling at the end of your rope with this, but you're doing great. you really are :)

mildadhd
05-29-17, 03:41 PM
Hi Fuzzy12

Sorry I did not mean to discourage important routine.

Just that when the mother is distressed the baby distressed.

I am big on promoting taking care of the mothers, just like taking care of the babies.

I get a lot of negative feedback on the topic, and I wonder why the negative feedback is not directed at social issues that could help more.

I think our societies in general could focus on doing a lot more to help mothers.

I apologies, if I seemed to be implying that you do not have the help you need, since you do have the help.

I know a lot of mothers that do not.

It is great you have the help you need, when needed.


M

Caco3girl
05-30-17, 08:56 AM
I have to say...I didn't do any of this stuff. I put her in her bouncy until she fell asleep, waited 10 minutes to make sure she was good and asleep, moved her to her crib WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP and left the tv on low.

Have you tried rocking with her until she is asleep and then laying her in her cot while she is asleep with some background noise like a TV?

Fuzzy12
05-30-17, 10:04 AM
you didn't mention lighting, but one thing we do with the small girl is after her bath, she goes into her room and the lights are very low. we even have blackout curtains for her room.

i know fuzzling has eczema concerns, so i understand no daily bath. have you tried regulating the temperature in her room to "mimic" coming out of a bath into a cooler space with dim lighting?

really, though, fuzzy...i think you're doing a LOT and just keep that in mind. babies sometimes just don't do what we expect or what they've let us come to expect. you're possibly feeling at the end of your rope with this, but you're doing great. you really are :)

Hmm...I wonder if that's the problem. Now that the days are getting longer and longer it's still bright when I put her to bed. We don't have black out curtains.

Our bedroom is one of the warmer rooms in the house and Last week we had a massive heatwave. I let her sleep in just her nappy in her sleep bag but it was still hot. I don't think this caused the hyperactivity problem but it might be worth trying to cool down the room a bit first. We've got this stupid problem with wasps because of all the trees behind our house so I don't open the windows as much as I should

I know babies aren't as rule based as I like them to be. Sigh... :D I'm not really upset. I just would like her to sleep better so that we are both in better shape. Well yesterday I was super upset because fuzzling went hyper while I was feeding her and she bit me badly. After that my nipples were do sore that I just didn't have a milk letdown
and she was really hungry. We were both in tears so hubby took over and rocked her to sleep. I felt so bad about making her go to bed hungry and I was super frustrated.

And just before that I was thinking that I'm actually doing a surprisingly decent job with the whole mum thing...:lol:

Fuzzy12
05-30-17, 10:07 AM
Hi Fuzzy12

Sorry I did not mean to discourage important routine.

Just that when the mother is distressed the baby distressed.

I am big on promoting taking care of the mothers, just like taking care of the babies.

I get a lot of negative feedback on the topic, and I wonder why the negative feedback is not directed at social issues that could help more.

I think our societies in general could focus on doing a lot more to help mothers.

I apologies, if I seemed to be implying that you do not have the help you need, since you do have the help.

I know a lot of mothers that do not.

It is great you have the help you need, when needed.


M

Don't apologise. Nothing you said was offensive and I appreciate the input.

Like I said I'm above. I'm ok. I'm doing really well actually mentally at the moment . Hubby is very supportive toò.

Our families are very helpful too but they are so complicated that I'm almost happier when it's just us. :scratch

Fuzzy12
05-30-17, 02:46 PM
I have to say...I didn't do any of this stuff. I put her in her bouncy until she fell asleep, waited 10 minutes to make sure she was good and asleep, moved her to her crib WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP and left the tv on low.

Have you tried rocking with her until she is asleep and then laying her in her cot while she is asleep with some background noise like a TV?


Yes that's how hubby mostly gets her to sleep but the problem us that way she won't learn how to fall asleep. Also, about an hour later when she wakes up and realised she isn't anymore in my or hubby's arms and being rocked she gets upset. Previously when the routine was still working she'd be able to soothe herself and go to sleep evwn when she woke up (unless she was hungry)

Fuzzy12
05-30-17, 02:50 PM
So today she seemed to get hyper immediately after dinner. I tried to calm her down hy singing songs and reading books and it worked pretty decently. She almost fell asleep while feeding. I thought this is perfect. She's almost asleep but not asleep so she can fall asleep in her cot. The moment she hit the cot she went hyper. I'm trying to.wait it out hoping she'll fall asleep but I guess it's hopeless. She isn't going to sleep. At some point she is either going to start banging her head when rolling or crying.

Fuzzy12
05-30-17, 03:46 PM
She's finally asleep. Well she's still tossing and turning a bit but I think she's asleep.

45min of going crazy in her cot. What I did this time was to let her play and go crazy (thankfully she didn't bang her head around too much) and when she started whimpering ajd wanting to be picked up I shushed and patted her till she stopped whingeing and started playing again. She got more ajd more sleepy. I kept shushing ajd patting and picked her up a couple of times when she started crying but put her back in the cot again as soon as she stopped. She must have spent at least 30 min being almost asleep but then waking up every 30s to thump the cot, roll around or check if I'm still there. I got so frustrated. I'm not the most patient person and I was just hunched above her cot shushing and patting and waiting for her to finally fall asleep. And now she's sleeping. I honestly feel like I deserve an award for having the patience of a saint.:cool:

(Even Though I did someone very unsaintly swearing in my head everytime she opened her eyes again and started playing with her sleeves. And I think she was actually trying to crawl. If I wasn't so desperate for her to sleep I'd have been super excited)

Sorry I'm blabbering. I'm exhausted.

I don't know but I've got a feeling thst maybe this is the way to go. At least she fell asleep in her cot, she didn't cry and I didn't have to feed her a dozen times.

I don't know maybe she'll be up again in an hour.

Watching her I think the main two things keeping her from sleeping are:

1. Developmental stuff like trying to learn crawling (or maybe it's just really over tiredness)

2. Separation anxiety. When she was really sleepy she kept turning towards me to check if I'm still there.

I think what I should do is:

1. Do bed time routine. At what time though? 12h after waking up? 2h after waking up.from her last nap? Her sleepy signals are all over the place. Also should I just continue with the old routine or would a shakeup help?

2. Put her in her cot and basically do what I did today.

Hopefully at some point she'll start associating the routine with sleeping again if there's nothing between the end of the routine ajd her falling asleep (apart from going crazy in yhe cot).

I wish we could get back a routine in the day today. I still need to go to the vet every day and we are looking st nurseries as well and it's all.messing up her nap times.

Fuzzy12
05-30-17, 04:29 PM
An hour later abd she just woke up again. :doh::doh::doh:

peripatetic
05-30-17, 10:30 PM
i don't know, of course, but the phrase "sleep begets sleep" comes to mind and i'm thinking maybe instead of putting her down 12 h after waking...you try to keep her awake for no more than four hours at a time--ideally not more than three. that's what we did with the small girl when she was about that age. she still took two naps during the day and then slept overnight, so i would say she napped mid morning, mid afternoon, then down by seven PM.

it makes sense to me, too, because when i stay awake longer, i get another wind and then it's harder to fall asleep. if i'm awake overnight, it'll be ten times more likely for me to be awake two, three, four days in a row because i keep getting another "wind" when the sun comes up, etc.

you DO deserve a medal for the patience...i feel you on that :D

Little Missy
05-30-17, 10:50 PM
i don't know, of course, but the phrase "sleep begets sleep" comes to mind and i'm thinking maybe instead of putting her down 12 h after waking...you try to keep her awake for no more than four hours at a time--ideally not more than three. that's what we did with the small girl when she was about that age. she still took two naps during the day and then slept overnight, so i would say she napped mid morning, mid afternoon, then down by seven PM.

it makes sense to me, too, because when i stay awake longer, i get another wind and then it's harder to fall asleep. if i'm awake overnight, it'll be ten times more likely for me to be awake two, three, four days in a row because i keep getting another "wind" when the sun comes up, etc.

you DO deserve a medal for the patience...i feel you on that :D

Mine had two naps a day until she was well past two and always, always went to bed at 6:30 pm and slept until 9 or 10 am. I never took appointments at nap time and never did anything until after nap time. Nap time and bed times were sacred and never, ever deviated from.

Fuzzy12
05-31-17, 12:46 AM
She used to follow roughly a 12h cycle but maybe things have x changed. And yes I don't think.she ever lasts for more than 4h. I'll try putting her to bed much earlier today. It's just a matter of fitting everything in.

There's no end in sight to the vet visits.they are really messing up her nap times but that can't be helped at the moment.

I don't understand how dome mum's can fit in so many things in the day and still have their bubs in bed by 6pm.

Caco3girl
05-31-17, 08:47 AM
Yes that's how hubby mostly gets her to sleep but the problem us that way she won't learn how to fall asleep. Also, about an hour later when she wakes up and realised she isn't anymore in my or hubby's arms and being rocked she gets upset. Previously when the routine was still working she'd be able to soothe herself and go to sleep evwn when she woke up (unless she was hungry)

"She won't learn how to fall asleep"????? I've never heard of this, and I'm not mocking you but I did this with my daughter and she is currently 8 and does fall asleep just fine. Who said she had to "LEARN" to fall asleep?

Also, this is just a suggestion but in my opinion you need to get her out of your room and into hers. Set up a monitor and when you hear her wake up give it 5-10 minutes before you go in. My daughter would wake up and start talking to herself, or whimper a bit, all the time. It was almost like she wanted to make sure she wasn't missing out on anything. If it wasn't an "OMG COME GET ME NOW" cry I let her chill out in her room for a bit, about half the time she wound up just watching tv for a bit and then going back to sleep when nothing exciting was going on.

Fuzzy12
05-31-17, 01:52 PM
I meant she won't learn how to fall asleep on her own or without her prop. The problem is if she falls asleep on me or hubby but then wakes up in the cot because we transferred her there she starts wailing because she doesn't expect to be in the cot.

Hubby has been wanting to move fuzzling but I'm not so keen. I'd still have to bring her back for feeding when she wakes up anyway so I thought we might as well wait till age stops feeding at night.

We've got a video monitor and I don't go to her till she starts crying. In the good old days when the bedtime routine was still working and she fell asleep in her cot she d sometimes wake up and happily babble for a while and then drift off again. Now she starts crying the minute she wakes up.

Caco3girl
05-31-17, 02:21 PM
I meant she won't learn how to fall asleep on her own or without her prop. The problem is if she falls asleep on me or hubby but then wakes up in the cot because we transferred her there she starts wailing because she doesn't expect to be in the cot.

Hubby has been wanting to move fuzzling but I'm not so keen. I'd still have to bring her back for feeding when she wakes up anyway so I thought we might as well wait till age stops feeding at night.

We've got a video monitor and I don't go to her till she starts crying. In the good old days when the bedtime routine was still working and she fell asleep in her cot she d sometimes wake up and happily babble for a while and then drift off again. Now she starts crying the minute she wakes up.

I really think she wants to play and that is why she calls you at night. Having her in your room only adds to the idea that mommy and daddy are here so we should be able to play now. When my daughter woke up i was boring. No toys, never left her room, no stories...often I would fall asleep in the rocker with her. She got a bottle, a changing, different clothes...but we didn't leave her room. She soon realized I was pretty boring and just watched her TV if she did wake up.

Aside from being boring, care to do an experiment? Give your daughter a dose of BABY Tylenol/Advil before bed tonight. I wonder if she's teething, or has a headache.

Fuzzy12
05-31-17, 03:27 PM
I really think she wants to play and that is why she calls you at night. Having her in your room only adds to the idea that mommy and daddy are here so we should be able to play now. When my daughter woke up i was boring. No toys, never left her room, no stories...often I would fall asleep in the rocker with her. She got a bottle, a changing, different clothes...but we didn't leave her room. She soon realized I was pretty boring and just watched her TV if she did wake up.

Aside from being boring, care to do an experiment? Give your daughter a dose of BABY Tylenol/Advil before bed tonight. I wonder if she's teething, or has a headache.

Im totally boring. I don't play, don't talk much, I mainly just shush her or ask her to sleep...:lol:

Hm yes teething could be troubling her. It might be worth giving her something but then that wouldn't explain the bedtime craziness. :scratch:

Fuzzy12
05-31-17, 03:33 PM
Things are just getting worse. I wanted to.put her really early to bed today around 6pm. She didn't nap all afternoon though so she fell asleep when I finally fed her just before putting her to bed. I transferred her to her cot and she seemed to be in deep sleep. But then about 20minutes later she woke up screaming and crying. We almost couldn't comfort her she so upset.

When she finally calmed down I read her bedtime books to her and put her back in yhr cot. She's currently happily blabbing her herself with no signs of ever going to sleep. It's been again more than 2h.:doh::doh:

Caco3girl
06-01-17, 10:09 AM
Things are just getting worse. I wanted to.put her really early to bed today around 6pm. She didn't nap all afternoon though so she fell asleep when I finally fed her just before putting her to bed. I transferred her to her cot and she seemed to be in deep sleep. But then about 20minutes later she woke up screaming and crying. We almost couldn't comfort her she so upset.

When she finally calmed down I read her bedtime books to her and put her back in yhr cot. She's currently happily blabbing her herself with no signs of ever going to sleep. It's been again more than 2h.:doh::doh:

If she is grinding her gums in her sleep and they are hurting her that could explain the being so upset when she wakes up.

Have you talked to her pediatrician about this?

Fuzzy12
06-01-17, 10:40 AM
If she is grinding her gums in her sleep and they are hurting her that could explain the being so upset when she wakes up.

Have you talked to her pediatrician about this?


How would I know if she's grinding her gums?

Well we are seeing her pediatrician next end of July so I'm hoping by them we will have solved this issue. ..:eek:

Caco3girl
06-01-17, 11:36 AM
How would I know if she's grinding her gums?

Well we are seeing her pediatrician next end of July so I'm hoping by them we will have solved this issue. ..:eek:

I'm not sure you will be sane by then.

It wouldn't hurt to call and talk to them right?

Fuzzy12
06-01-17, 01:48 PM
I'm not sure you will be sane by then.

It wouldn't hurt to call and talk to them right?

It wouldn't hurt but it's not possible. I wouldn't even know how to contact them. I'd have to see my gp first and request him to refer fuzzling for another appointment or too bring this appointment forward.

I'll ask my gp the next time we see him.

Fuzzy12
06-01-17, 01:50 PM
Today everything went perfect in terms of naps. I even managed to have her ready for bed shortly after 6pm (exactly 4h after her last nap which probably is too much but we had to go to the vet ). She was still too tired. Almost fell asleep while feeding then started crying and only stopped when I read her her bedtime stories. Then input her in her cot and the moment she hit the cot she went hyper.:(

Fuzzy12
06-01-17, 02:45 PM
Almost 1.5h later I gave up and fed her again. She promptly fell asleep on the breast and i transferred her to her cot. She'll probably wake up soon again.:doh::doh:

I ordered some sort of stixk on black out blinds. Hope they'll work.

Fuzzy12
06-04-17, 05:53 PM
It's just getting worse. Now she goes from being hyperactive to screaming and sobbing inconsolably. Only hubby can comfort her and somehow make her fall asleep.

We have been thinking about doing just that. I feed her and then he puts her to bed. Anyway we got into a huge huge argument tonight because i felt that he's blaming me for making her cry and it just went on to other stuff from there so I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe her sleep issues aren't really anymore our biggest problem

peripatetic
06-05-17, 11:23 AM
It's just getting worse. Now she goes from being hyperactive to screaming and sobbing inconsolably. Only hubby can comfort her and somehow make her fall asleep.

We have been thinking about doing just that. I feed her and then he puts her to bed. Anyway we got into a huge huge argument tonight because i felt that he's blaming me for making her cry and it just went on to other stuff from there so I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe her sleep issues aren't really anymore our biggest problem

it's hard not to get quarrelsome with partners when you hear screaming repeatedly from your small one.

i've had a short fuse with husband the times when the small girl seems inconsolable.

Caco3girl
06-05-17, 03:10 PM
It wouldn't hurt but it's not possible. I wouldn't even know how to contact them. I'd have to see my gp first and request him to refer fuzzling for another appointment or too bring this appointment forward.

I'll ask my gp the next time we see him.

In your country you don't have an advice line where you can talk to a pediatric nurse or dr.? Or a doctor's phone number to call them leave a message and someone gets back to you within 48 hours?

Fuzzy12
06-05-17, 03:19 PM
In your country you don't have an advice line where you can talk to a pediatric nurse or dr.? Or a doctor's phone number to call them leave a message and someone gets back to you within 48 hours?

There's an advice helpline for non emergency medical.questions.

I don't think I can call them about sleeping problems though. :scratch:

Fuzzy12
06-05-17, 07:59 PM
We've decided to give up on trying to get her to fall asleep in her cot. Well I've given up. Hubby was never convinced of its usefulness.

So the new approach is that I pass her to hubby after feeding and then he makes her fall asleep on her shoulder and transfers her to her bed. (She doesn't fall asleep.with me unless I feed her).

Today though hubby said that she did fall asleep in her cot...hugging one of the soft toys we've given her...she still is holding him. It's not a comforter but it's the one you she always seemed happy to see. The only problem is that he makes a noise when you squeeze him so I hope that won't wake her if she rolls onto him.

Fuzzy12
06-19-17, 07:14 PM
Hee sleeping issues are just getting worse every day..or night. It still takes us more than 2h to put her to bed but rather than being happily hyper she cries when I try to put her down in the cot. She doesn't fall asleep with hubby anymore either unless she's finally absolutely exhausted.

I've tried the pick up/put down method where you basically pick up the baby everytime they start crying and pit them down as soon as they've stopped crying. I just can't do it. I lose patience. I make it through 3 or 4 cycles and then I give up. It's too boring.

Everything is messed. We've completely lost any sort of routine. I hate it. She wakes up at a ñ

Caco3girl
06-20-17, 07:16 AM
It sounds like your baby is the exception, not the rule. I would suggest you stop all the routines, and book learning, and thinking about what you have read....you are just driving your self insane.

Shorter naps, more food, gas drops, tylenol, tv on where she can watch it if she wakes up, and out of your room and into hers would be my best suggestion.