View Full Version : Dead end


prof_Z
05-25-17, 11:37 AM
I'm typing this on the eve of one of my backlogs which I thing I'm gonna flunk, so thought that I'd spend my time elsewhere.

As far as I can remember, I don't remember a single PTA meeting going well for me. It was always the same old, "brilliant yet distracted/lazy", from as far back as the second grade.

But I still managed to manage scoring grades ranging from good to excellent all the way till 10th grade. I picked the Computer+Math+science stream hoping to be an engineer. I lost track at the beginning of 11th grade and then was never really able to catch up because I botched the basics. And the engineering entrance coaching was draining me out, taking away Sunday, my only free day. At that point, a friend of mine told me about his law entrance coaching. I checked out the syllabus required for it and it was right up my alley, especially basic math, logical reasoning and English, the only part I couldn't handle being general knowledge, which I didn't care about because it consisted of remembering specific dates or random trivia, which I never really saw the point of. So I decided to go for law, merely because I knew I could handle the entrance exams better than the engineering ones(I know it's a terribly shortsighted decision, at least now). My mom, relieved thinking I finally found something I was interested in, let me go ahead with law without putting up much of a fight.

Since I was aiming to get into a law school now, I just stopped giving much of an effort to school academics, because law schools didn't care about my school grades as long as I didn't flunk anything. So my 12th grade score was a meagre 74%, which I only got because I scored a 94 in English and 80+in computer. But like I predicted, I got into one of the best law schools of my country by getting very decent scored in the entrance tests, despite not really trying.

Long story short, I had a drug abuse issue over there and it was my first time away from home, so with no one stopping me I stopped going to college during the second semester, just staying back at my apartment with my friends and doing nothing the whole day.

I dropped out realizing how destructive I was being and because I didn't want to waste my parents' money. So I came back and by then, the registrations for all the entrances were closed, so I just went for the first course I could find, in my hometown, so that I could be a day scholar, so that my parents could keep an eye on me.

That didn't work out too well, the course was terrible, with subjects so uninteresting and poorly written text books that were written by mediocre (I'm being kind here) folk. So I just lost interest in it too. This was when I went to a doctor, and gotten diagnosed with ADD. I was on meds for a while but I stopped because I was seriously skinny and the meds made my appetite go down even further.

So that brings me to where I am right now. I'm doing a course which I'm not interested in, with my peers being people who are unambitious and dull. I can't really study anything that I'm not interested in, let alone something as boring and pointless as this. I desperately want to drop out, but it's impossible to convince my mom again, especially due to the fact that I don't even know what I want to do instead. So I feel like I've come to a dead end, I really don't see a way out. I'm turning 21 next month, and I have no clue what I wanna do with my life and feel like it's impossible for me to graduate the current course. I've no clue where I'm gonna go from here.
I apologise if the post was too long and dull, but I needed to vent!

aur462
05-25-17, 03:41 PM
Hey, you're only 21. I wish they'd figured me out at your age. I don't think you mentioned the course you're taking. Your fellow students being pedestrian - this could have everything to do with the course you're taking, not sure.

After many years I discovered what I ACTUALLY wanted to do and let that guide me. That's not something that necessarily reveals itself easily, even if you're great at something. To the extent it makes sense, I'd recommend a career counseling/Myers Brigg questionnaire.

sarahsweets
05-25-17, 04:02 PM
I think the expecting any 21 year old to know what they want to do for the rest of their life is ridiculous. At 21 you are still an adolescent, and combine that with adhd where you are 30% less mature than people your age and youve got a recipe for disaster.

aur462
05-26-17, 03:33 PM
I think the expecting any 21 year old to know what they want to do for the rest of their life is ridiculous. At 21 you are still an adolescent, and combine that with adhd where you are 30% less mature than people your age and youve got a recipe for disaster.

This is true. At 21 I wasn't able to distinguish my posterior from a hole in the ground.