View Full Version : Do you Self Harm (SI)??


FlyGurl
06-14-05, 03:06 PM
I don't know if this is where I'm "supposed" to post this

But it seemed like a good spot!

Do any of you Self Harm? I do I have since I was 15 or so maybe longer I don't remember. I used to cut a lot, I also pick at my arms and sides.

I started to cut again in the past few months...I hate myself afterwards but durning it's a rush for me...I know it sounds terrible but I guess I don't want to help myself find a different way to cope when I feel like doing SI behaviours.

I also brusie my arms and hit my head against the wall...these only happen when i'm really stressed out or upset though.

Not sure if it's cause of my ad/hd or cause of my eating disorder

oh well...just thought Id see if anyone else is strange like me:rolleyes:

centaurmyst
09-28-05, 11:06 PM
You've mentioned a couple of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. (Self Injury and eating disorder). This is a disorder that is pretty common in women and although can be disruptive to the life of those who have it, there is a very promising self treatment called Dialectal Behavior Therapy. The disorder has also been known to subside some with age.

As with any Disorder of this nature, there is a strict criteria for diagnosis. Self Injury is one of the hallmark symptoms of this disorder, so it'd be worthwhile to do some reading on it.

My son's ex girlfriend has BPD and unfortunately her therapist essentially kept it from her. Some therapists don't like to give the diagnosis which is really unfair to the patients who have it because those who get the diagnosis at least have the opportunity to do some research and understand and identify when they are exhibiting the symptoms. Then they can at least attempt to stop themselves and improve.

Keep in mind...I am NOT qualified to diagnose anyone. I've just known a few people who have BPD and all of them cut themselves. Due to cutting being one of the most obvious symptoms, you should probably see if you think you fit the criteria and discuss it with your therapist if you're seeing one. Also, if you think you might have it...look up the Dialectal Behavior Therapy because it's supposed to work really well for a lot of people who suffer with this disorder.

Good luck

auntchris
02-24-08, 04:28 PM
check this page out... it is more about self harm. I also wrote a few thing s that might interest you. http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php? p=551425&posted=1#post551425

sarey
02-24-08, 06:50 PM
I've been selfharming since I was 7/8.

QueensU_girl
02-25-08, 10:35 PM
Self-harm seems to be linked to personality disorders and PTSD and Dissociative Disorders.

There are a lot of theories as to why people do it. Generally it seems to be linked to early life trauma by trusted caregivers or early attachment disruption.

There is a great book out called The Bright Red Scream, that I'd highly recommend.

sarey
03-04-08, 05:16 PM
i should get that book :]

QueensU_girl
03-04-08, 07:22 PM
Check your library's online catalogue.

A lot of people who self-harm (and fail to self-protect, or do other things to dissociate, such as manifesting EDs, etc), have unrecognized trauma histories.

This book explains things (the associations) very well.

Generally mental health is just interested in treating symptoms, not causes.

Information like this book can help us get more to the root of what is going on, from a historical perspective. (Some trauma stuff continues to affect people and their body's health and disease, their whole lives.)

Scattered
03-04-08, 07:34 PM
Self-harm seems to be linked to personality disorders and PTSD and Dissociative Disorders.

There are a lot of theories as to why people do it. Generally it seems to be linked to early life trauma by trusted caregivers or early attachment disruption.

There is a great book out called The Bright Red Scream, that I'd highly recommend.
It is frequently linked to these but not always. Unfortunately some practioneers automatically assign anyone who self injures a borderline personality diagnosis. One study I saw found that of folks diagnosed with BPD only about half actually met the full criteria for it. Other diagnosis that are sometimes more applicable depending on the person and circumstances are OCD, bipolar, and probably the most accurate for many people is Impulse Disorder NOS. When I asked Dr. Thomas Brown (author of Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults why self injury so often occurs along with ADHD he said he thought it was related to the comorbid conditions of OCD or bipolar disorder. Dr. Patricia Quinn told me that she had seen comorbid ADHD and depression in women lead to self injury.

Only about half of folks who self injury were abused and it's not even always about damaged attachment relationships (although it certainly can be). There is also a group who self injury to manage their feelings -- I think that is why you see so many folks with ADD who self injury, because of the emotional dysregulation common with ADD.

Secret Scars: Uncovering the Understanding the Addiction of Self-Injury by V.J. Turner is a good book on the subject and describes how to use the 12 steps along with other tools for healing from self injury.

ah09087
03-05-08, 02:35 AM
I do. I have for as long as I can remember but I didn't know that it was a problem or that it even had a name until I was 12.

Persephone
03-16-08, 08:11 PM
I used to hurt myself by cutting or scratching at a spot. I started as a junior in high school and stopped when I quit college. There were points in college when I would cut daily and I ended up in the emergency room once.

It was horribly addictive for me and some days I don't even understand how I managed to stop. At this point though, I haven't cut in about eight years.

Persephone

ADDAWAY
03-16-08, 10:15 PM
ADHD with secondary anxiety/depression, plus OCD (due to SH & obsessive behaviors). Thanks again Scattered for your insight & support, and QueensU Girl for having the answers with a helping hand to so many! :cool:

TierraBella
04-21-08, 12:27 AM
I dig at my nailbeds to the point where they bleed, and it hurts to even open a soda can...

I also don't like the white part (as my nails grow), I have this compulsion to cut or file it off...

These pretty much go in waves...I'm having one of my worst episodes for the past few months.

I'm not sure why I do this, but my doc thinks it might be a mechanism I've developed to cope with anxiety.

bandie08
05-02-08, 11:14 AM
I have been doing it sense i was 7/8 It started out as picking at my skin then scabs then scars now i am carving into my skin.

iamcrazylady30
05-07-08, 08:59 AM
I too have the urge to pick at scabs, bite nails, its like a sick obsession. it makes me feel guilty because i know it looks so awful. artificial nails have stopped the biting on the nails part, but its like the habit shifted over to the inside of my lip and cheek. Weird.

sees
05-10-08, 11:47 AM
i did it for the dopamine. ooooooo la laaaaaaaahhhh.

sweetpeas615
05-16-08, 09:20 PM
Howdy! I'd like to add that while on Adderall XR, I began to peel the skin on my finger tips and on the heels of my feet. It has become almost a nervous habit that I do at night-time when I watch TV. I think I do it to stimulate my sleepy (by then) brain. Not sure. But its pretty bad when I cannot seem to stop the skin peeling and peel too close and draw blood. It used to be so bad on my feet that I could barely walk after peeling my skin off in so many places. I got myself one of those pumice stones and started using that for the dry skin on my heels but the finger tip peeling hasn't stopped. It is awfully painful. I think it is self-injurious, sort of.

Self-injurious relationships can be the equivalent of self-injury. I never knew that before. My ADHD psychologist suspects I may have developed an Adult-onset Borderline personality disorder. So I'm now checking into Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. It is very powerful / intensive therapy that focuses on four core skills: 1) Mindfulness; 2) Interpersonal effectiveness; 3) Emotion regulation and 4) Distress tolerance. I think I will benefit greatly from all four areas. Cheers.

QueensU_girl
05-16-08, 09:25 PM
Self injury on Adderall is a side effect called a Stereotypie.

It even happens in animals given speed (e.g. rats).

They will over groom, etc.

I think this drug-induced self injury is different than the self-injury done by people with trauma spectrum disorders such as Borderline PD.

NB Why would a person get adult onset BPD? It is a developmental trauma disorder triggered in childhood.

I don't think that diagnosis could be made if the picking is due to a Drug.

Also, I'd wonder what your other signs of BPD are: self injury plus one or two other criteria does not always = BPD.

Lots and LOTS of people with BPD do not self injure, also...

Spongedaddy
06-09-08, 10:09 PM
Self-harm seems to be linked to personality disorders and PTSD and Dissociative Disorders.

There are a lot of theories as to why people do it. Generally it seems to be linked to early life trauma by trusted caregivers or early attachment disruption.

There is a great book out called The Bright Red Scream, that I'd highly recommend.

I have a bit of both those things mixed in with my BP. When I am really gone in a super-agitated state I hit the wall or bathtub with my fists or sometimes I will ram my shoulder and body up against the wall. Is that considered self-harm???

TygerSan
06-10-08, 12:41 PM
have a bit of both those things mixed in with my BP. When I am really gone in a super-agitated state I hit the wall or bathtub with my fists or sometimes I will ram my shoulder and body up against the wall. Is that considered self-harm???I think so . . . anything that hurts/leaves marks is. . . took me a long time to admit that my biting myself was self harm (done it since I was a tot and although I can control it better now, I still haven't grown out of it completely).

Again, I do it when I'm agitated/frustrated/really feeling down. I used to think it was qualitatively different than "cutting" in that I didn't feel pleasure from it and couldn't imagine becoming addicted to it in any way. BUT reading about DBT and SI triggers really does resonate, so I'm not so sure about that difference anymore.

The closest thing I could find that matched my feelings at all were the "stereotypic" behaviours seen in MR/ autistic people, but I'm neither autistic nor MR (if anything more the former than the latter).

Louder Than Love
07-20-08, 04:33 AM
I started it around 10 I think, nothing serious.... eraser burns, the occasional little scratch from a broken off pen.

Then it moved up into cutting, Exacto-therapy.
Burning, bruising, I hit the side of the house once so hard it broke my wrist.

The cutting got worse, there were a few close calls, and one REALLY ****ed off really worried ER doc that had me committed. 1 month.

I was doing it on a daily basis, wearing long sleeves in August, stashing razors.

and as soon as I got leveled out on meds, i just stopped. I havent hurt myself in years.

sybil
08-17-08, 06:37 PM
I don't self-harm in the usual ways but I think when I bite my nails too short that it qualifies as self-harm.

esmarii
10-07-08, 08:31 AM
Some interesting self harm examples.

When i was about 12 i used to self harm. Some times with the blade from a pencil sharpener... ...sometimes with matches. Looking back i guess it was from anxiety. I don't remember when I stopped doing it but it only lasted a year or so.

As for biting, I bit the inside of my mouth and cheeks, have no finger nails to bite and have resorted to biting the skin around them.

I play guitar, so the skin on my fingers becomes callus. this also eventually turns into a meal from time to time.

I cant help doing it but i have spotted when i do do it and it tends to be when i am waiting and anxious,excited and anxious or bored.

Erstwhile
10-07-08, 11:55 AM
I too have the urge to pick at scabs, bite nails, its like a sick obsession. it makes me feel guilty because i know it looks so awful. artificial nails have stopped the biting on the nails part, but its like the habit shifted over to the inside of my lip and cheek. Weird.


Yeah, I've had similar compulsions my whole life, especially nail-biting and cheek/lip biting. I used to gnaw my nails down till my fingers bled...I don't do that (often) anymore, but I still tend to bite my nails when I'm under stress.

I also used to, when really stressed out or frustrated, slap myself in the face - it was a way to avoid lashing out and breaking things/hurting pets/whatever. I've managed to get this under control but I'm still dealing with anger management issues. :(

I've never purposely set out to hurt myself, though - the nail-biting is something I usually end up doing without realizing it, the face-slapping was something done in a moment of frustration and that always almost immediately faded, leaving me feeling pretty damn foolish. :o

Johnny123
11-07-08, 07:26 AM
Is it normal to erm sorta feel 'good' when you have a small (accidental) cut? I cant honestly bring my self to do it but erm when i get a cut and feel that sting it just stimulates me in a weird way

lucky_turtle
11-23-08, 10:36 PM
hi, i have harmed for almost 7 years. i have only recently been diagnosed with ADD, ive spent years whirling round in depression on and off meds, nothing worked, i always got so far in counselling but something was always missing and could never be fixed.it was frustarting for me and everyone trying to help.

its ironic that my counsellor before i was diagnosed picked up on the fact i harm when im bored at times, as in i get depressed when im bored, i woud harm to stiumlate myself a lot.

heres hoping on meds itll be different.

xx