View Full Version : Anyone else struggle with Ana/purging??


FlyGurl
06-14-05, 03:13 PM
I have an eating disorder and was wondering if it's normal for someone with ad/hd to have one or if it's just another strange thing about me

I struggle big time with Ana and purging. Mostly Ana, I'm not in a recovery stage at all and would rather just lose the weight and be done with it. I've been an Ana since I was about 16-17 years old ... it's been a major coping mech for me due to my past.

I have a few friends that know about my ED but most people just say I look great and what type of diet am I on. I just try to lie about it all. My family knows but they don't really care, they think it's all about the food for me and wanting to look good for guys....I've tryed to tell them its not about that at all and it's about my past but they won't listen so I've stopped letting them in...screw em!!

I'm 24 have a 2 yr old and live with a roommate, he knows about my ED and has really been a help and a Trigger for me. so he's good and bad...
I don't have a T- or a Doc. at this time but I know those are important things to have for someone like me.

anyone else struggle with an ED? :confused:

auntchris
07-13-05, 07:46 PM
I have an eating disorder and was wondering if it's normal for someone with ad/hd to have one or if it's just another strange thing about me

I struggle big time with Ana and purging. Mostly Ana, I'm not in a recovery stage at all and would rather just lose the weight and be done with it. I've been an Ana since I was about 16-17 years old ... it's been a major coping mech for me due to my past.

I have a few friends that know about my ED but most people just say I look great and what type of diet am I on. I just try to lie about it all. My family knows but they don't really care, they think it's all about the food for me and wanting to look good for guys....I've tryed to tell them its not about that at all and it's about my past but they won't listen so I've stopped letting them in...screw em!!

I'm 24 have a 2 yr old and live with a roommate, he knows about my ED and has really been a help and a Trigger for me. so he's good and bad...
I don't have a T- or a Doc. at this time but I know those are important things to have for someone like me.

anyone else struggle with an ED? :confused:
Flygurl I understand where you are and how you are feeling inside. I have not been to Ana, nor am I sure about it if that is a website.
My weight has always been an issue with me growing up in a family of thin people and I was more muscle like a swimmer. I always longed to look like a be a ballerina or work with children in dance and movement.

A couple of years ago, I began to restrict my food. NO sweets. Well, that is all and good , but I took it to the extreme and began loosing weight. I was in dance classes four days a week and helping on Saturdays with the little kids. I was so stressed out I developed TMJ in my jaw and it was painful to eat. I got a very sharp pain when I tried to chew. I also was in physical therapy at the time also due to a dance injury for strengh.

My dance teacher approached me and told me that I was getting too thin too fast. She is only 45 days older than me. She told me the same thing happened to her with her dance instructor. She told me to becareful, or else it could develolped into a real full blow problem Anorexia or Bulimia. I never did throw up, that it hard on your system and bad for the teeth hun. I do understand. I still at times restrict my food or eat the wrong things and I know that it wrong.

Hun, you first need to care about you. Forget the family for now, work on you and your recovery. Depending on you age and financial situation, you may need to talk to your parents if you are on their insurance in regards to counselling. You need to get in to see someone hun, you need to write down your feeling in a journal or online blog. Get the bad feeling out they are poison and you need to empty the bad stuff in order to have room to put the good and positive information and knowledge you will learn in your head. If all you can do is think bad things then there is no way you are goign to let yourself add anything good into your mind.

I know about the family and everyone telling you that you look good. They still do that to me too. If only they knew that I didn't eat alot that day, or was eating the wrong things. My parents are aware of the problem and I have told them some of my feelings not all, I am not sure how they would respond, possibly defensivly. I suppose it is all in the wording. Where do you live? Look into finding a nutririonist and therapist that deals with eating disorders. If you need to talk I am here. I know the feeling hun. talk soon.;)

johbean
07-15-05, 08:33 AM
I too have stuggled w/ ana and bulemia for years. I went to inpatient eating disorder program for a 2 weeks or so (about 6 yrs ago). I found it to be very helpful, although I have still continued to struggle w/ these issues- just not to the same severity as I once had. Since my adhd diagnosis, and subsequent adderall pscription I have had virtually no eating problems. I have been taking zoloft for a few years now (recently lowering the dosage w/ addition of adhd meds) and that has been quite helpful. I feel happier and more "normal" than I have in ,well, I don't remember when. I also see a t-doc. Not always easy to find a good one, went through many before finding him. Yes, I think you should put some energy into finding a good t-doc and medical doc. As I'm sure you know, an untreated e.d. can lead to some serious problems. I've had a few scary experiences. Are you on any medication? If not this is something you might want to discuss with your doctor once u find one (hope u have health ins, these things can be quite expensive). Also work on meditation and relaxation techniqes w/ my t-doc. Find it helps calm my mind, body and spirit- helps put my focus back where it should be.
I know it can seem overwhelming and hopeless at times, I've been there. It has taken me 8 years to pull it all back together. actually still working on it, have a ways to go. It's almost imposible to do these things on our own, so don't hesitate to get the help you need. I was 24 when I was finally stopped procrastinating and decided to get serious about my problems, mostly for the adhd at that time, although my continued bouts of anar/ bulem were a concern as well. 26 now and things are looking up. Finally
I can relate to people telling you haw good you look and the frustration it causes. Sometimes it can be so obvious that something is wrong w/ you and people are just toatally oblivious. I am very sory to hear that this includes your family.
I'll be thinking of you and sending you my positive thoughts. Hope to hear some good news back from ya. Take care,
joh

becca79
07-17-05, 07:37 AM
I struggle with both and eating disorder and ADHD as well. I don't think it is very unusual for people with an ED to also have ADHD. I know other people from eating disorder forums that struggle with both.

I've been eating disordered since I was 14/15 and am now 25. Anorexia at first and then and now bulimia. I did go through a few years of treatment in high school and recovered for a while, but relapsed my second year of college.

Anyway, I hope to go into treatment again in September when I get some new insurance. I'm also hoping that if I find someway to better manage my ADHD, my eating disorder will become more managable. So far, none of the medications I've tried have helped.

johbean
07-17-05, 01:19 PM
becca, what medications have you tried?

becca79
07-17-05, 02:21 PM
becca, what medications have you tried? The first medication I tried years ago was Prozac, but that had no effect on me.
Then I tried Zoloft, which helped with my depression some, but not with my ED.

More recently I've tried both Adderal and Dexedrine for ADHD, but I didn't really find them helpful and they made me feel anxious.... and I have the tendency to try to take them to help try and lose weight.
Then I tried Effexor, which seemed to only moderatly help my depression, but had no effect on my ED or ADHD. Though it did kill my appetite for a few days and I lost weight....
Then I went back on Zoloft, but it doesn't seem to be doing anything for me now for any of my problems.


I'd really like to try Strattera and Wellbutrin, except that people with a history of EDs are not supposed to take Wellbutrin because it increases the risk of seizures. I guess I'll probably have to try a different antidepressant.

FlyGurl
09-06-05, 03:07 PM
thank you everyone that has responded to my post. I'm so sorry it's taken this long for me to reply back to you.

thank you for your encouragment and letting me know I'm not alone in my ADHD world of crazyness along with this ED...it's a burden lifted and also one taken on...I'm sorry that you've all struggled/are struggling with your ED's....

Mine is umm....stirring up again..i'm not sure why i think it's the high stress that i'm feeling...I'm doing my best to calm it down but that doesn't seem to be working out very well.....I'm not really sure what else to do besides pray it won't last for a while.

as for the T- I'm looking at getting some new medical insurance so that way I can get a REAL doctor and maybe have him/her refer me to a T- I think that would help the cost go down if I'm referred...not to sure though...right now I cannon budget a T- or a N- into my life.... :(

Thanks again for your help....and sorry about the wait!!

twalsh03
10-07-05, 12:05 PM
^ if you need to talk/vent at all, please feel free to send me a message.

I'm having some of the same issues now. I'm 24 and don't have a T or a doc, either.... so it's been a rough time.

Before ADD meds, I had struggled on and off with an ED for a little while, but it wasn't taking over my life back then. Once I started Adderall, I dropped 30lbs... (I'm 5'4 and was only 130lbs, so it was a pretty big weight loss). The weight was just dropping off and for once in my life, it wasn't even taking willpower to not eat. It was FANTASTIC... but it has just spiraled completely out of control. I keep losing weight, but it kind of stopped becoming 'fun' and has become a bit 'scary'.

So in the past year, I have struggled with anorexia BADLY. For a while, I was obsessively exercising and barely eating durign the day; however, my heart was starting to give me lots of trouble and because I was at such a low weight for my height, I was terrified that I would drop dead. So for a few weeks, I was trying to eat 'normally' and even stopped Adderall for a little while so I could gain a few pounds. (Mostly to make my parents happy, as they were becoming terrified about my weight loss.)

But because a) I was off the Adderall, b) I was starting to smoke pot regularly again ( stress smoking...?), and c) I had stopped having my period for a long time and my hormones were a MESS -- I was RAVENOUS all the time. I could eat and eat and eat and still not be satiated. So I gained a good 10lbs, got terrified about being fat... and then went back into my anorexic state.

And now I'm struggling between that and purging.

It's a vicious cycle. I understand the suffering from EDs, so please send a message if you need ANYTHING!!!

bumblebe
12-30-05, 11:27 PM
Yup i know exactly what you mean, its like food controlles your every waking thought, its completely draining. If your like me then your ok, as long as you dont eat anything that day, but if you do then its all over the rest of your day is complete hell. Its crazy, but im addicted to food. I began to see a doctor who diagnosed me ADD,he explained food addiction was my bodys way of making up for the lack of chemicals that a person needs to maintain a happy healthy productive life. Im on adderoll now and it does help, do you take meds for ADD?

tristan k
01-01-06, 09:31 AM
Hello all and happy new year,

I've only been diagnosed with ADD since last summer. My ED, however, has been around for so long. First a sensible diet--which led to compulsive exercising and anorexia. Then bulimia because I couldn't keep that up. Back and forth from there. Currently, I restrict my food intake a little to a lot, depending. But I haven't purged for over a year now. I'm happy about that, but of course, miserable about my weight, body, etc. I am in therapy and have a pschiatrist and still question myself as to why I can't work harder at this. I have been hospitalized twice and been in individual, group therapies for a long time. Although I question my progress, I know that without treatment, it is likely I would be in a much worse physical and mental state.

Now, with the ADD diagnosis--I'm so confused!! :confused: I'm not sure how to work with my issues at all. Does my need for control exist b/c I had none growing up? or because of the disorganized state of my mind? or both? or none of those? Is my eating disorder my way of manifesting this need, a way to focus? I don't know whether to work on emotional issues, organizational issues, both, or anything at all. My meds are crazy :faint: screwed up because the interaction between them is raising my blood pressure. I was taking wellbutrin and effexor along with concerta. I guess the goal being to target my depression, anxiety and attention. I stopped effexor and haven't replaced it with anything yet--so real anxious. I'm not sure if the concerta is working as well as it could for me. I could go on and on, I think (but I won't)

Anyway..............so I'm way off topic now and I'll close. I just want to say that I understand this struggle and nobody is alone. A book I read recently was an interesting account of one woman's struggle for recovery--Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer and Thom Rutledge. Maybe it's worth looking at--maybe I should read it again.

be well and take care of yourselves,
tristan

KFabulous
09-02-06, 08:32 PM
I know this is an old thread but I was hoping for some support from other people who struggle with this as well.

I am 24 years old and I have been a Figure Skater for most of my life. I wasn't a "fat" girl growing up but I wasn't the thinest either. All of the judges said I was fat and people would make fun of me behind my back. I would go home and cry my eyes out. Kids are so cruel.

When I skated I weighed about 130 lbs at 5'4 1/2. I had a lot of muscle but compared to the other girls I was big. I still struggle with my weight. I think that my ideal weight should be around 108. I know this is too small for someone like me, but i can't help it. It's so bad i think Nicole Richie looks good.

I am about 119 now and I do the Atkins diet. Mostly salad, coffee, eggs and protien bars are my daily intake. I am so afarid to be fat. To me fat= Failure.

I know that I am good looking now, but it still isn't good enough. Will it ever be good enough? I struggle everyday with food and eating.

I step on the scale about 20 times a day and I always measure myself. If I gain 2 lbs I cry and go into a funk. I wish I could be free of this way of thinking.

I have been to the psychologist about it and she wants me to go into an outpatient program. I don't want to gain any weight though because I don't think that I am underweight.

Any comments or thoughts would be great. :) Thanks for listening...

Bugs-n-Bunnys
09-04-06, 03:23 AM
I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through. I have been living with bulimia for 20 years. Everyday, day after day after day. For the longest time I was up to 15 times a day (binging and puring). I don't know how I got a damn thing done. I was never very fat as a kid, but I was chuncky. High school was pure torture. I saw many doctors, who all said I was depressed. I took many antidepressants with none of them working. The only time I was not bulimic was when I had a $100.00 a day cocaine habit. But that got too expensive quick. It only lasted about 6 months. I was able to stop cocaine cold turkey, no problem. Everyone thought that was really weird. Except me, I thought it was normal. But then I was having a tough time a work and with my marriage so I went to my gp's assistant (he's male and I found it easier to talk to a female) and she said ADD and reccommended a therapist who diagnosed me ADHD. But the great thing was she made sence, she said I have been medicating myself through the bulimia, because it releases the same endorphins, and that is why it was so easy for me to quit cocaine, because I had the bulimia to fall back on, and cocaine did not affect me like it did other people. She put me on dexedrine and it was like night and day, The first day on dexedrine I was not bulimic, in fact I went 7 days without even thinking about it. I was so releaved. But then I had to change doctors and the new one did not like dexedrine and would not give it to me, so I went right back to the bulimia, I was miserable, I couldn't stop myself no matter how hard I tried. I gained 5 pounds in 2 days and I was horrified, I did find a new doc who is giving me dexedrine, but it's not quite working the same, I'm still bulimic, but at least only 1-3 times a day and not 15 times a day.


well enough for now.

KFabulous
09-04-06, 06:23 PM
oh you poor thing! I totally understand what you are going through. Maybe you should ask the doctor to up your dosage or switch meds. Adderall is similar and you might like it better. I am no doctor, but all that purgeing is gotta be bad for you. I hope you have supportive friends and family who love and worry about you. You can always talk to us here as well, because we care too! Take care of yourself babe! :)