View Full Version : Yet another "I think I have ADHD" thread...


Birry_85
06-10-17, 06:02 PM
Long time reader/researcher on the forum but first time poster...

Bit of background, I'm 31 from the UK and currently single (I'll get into that shortly), work full time as a technical designer for a large IT company in the UK.

Basically up to around 6 months ago, I had no idea that the "issues" I have actually fall perfectly into common Adult ADHD symptoms (or so I believe anyway). There's been many many times where I've read an article or viewed a video and feel as if I'm in the Truman show because of how accurate the description is.
So I'm here hoping for some validation before I take the big step of going to my GP to start the diagnosis process.

For as long as I can remember, I've always struggled to focus on anything I don't find intensely interesting. Looking back at school, I found most classes interesting and was quite bright so during classes I was usually fine. Homework, revision for exams were a no go, but because I tended to do pretty well everywhere else, I think that got me a free pass through school.

Now as a grown up, I'm more aware of small things which, I think I've taken for granted for this long might not be quite right.
For example:
Major procrastination of tasks at work and at home.
Putting work off until the last moment is a big recurring theme.
Impulse buying of expensive items. Once I think I need something, that's all that's on my mind until I get it. Then once I have it, that's it, I'm uninterested.
Missing appointments unless I have alarms set to remind me
Writing lists to try and organise my schedule and things to do... Then scatterbraining and trying to do everything at once and suddenly stopping, achieving nothing (or losing the list all together and not starting at all)
Losing common items like keys, wallet etc and spending Ann age trying to find them when I need to leave.
Finding it very difficult to get up in a morning, even if I'm going on a holiday, or somewhere I'm excited for.
While doing DIY I'll put tools down and then ten seconds later not remember where they are and spend more time looking for tools than actually doing work.
Putting things off until the very last moment

The main area I've noticed things recently is suddenly becoming very 'bored' of people I'm dating, then breaking things off. Initially even meeting new people and it being new and fresh is brilliant, but as soon as that phase passes, I'll suddenly and without warning lose all interest in that person, both emotionally and sexually.
I feel genuinely terrible when I let these people down and break things off and it frightens me I'll struggle to settle in a relationship as I seem incapable of knowing when I'm happy? It's hard to explain that one.

In the past I've thought this was depression, so I've been to councillors, changed jobs and it made no difference to anything. I'm quite happy in myself so it didn't really make sense to me that I was 'depressed'.

So basically... Am I a lazy, unemotional waste of space, or have other people had similar experiences and ended up with a diagnosis of ADHD?
Individually these "symptoms" do suggest I'm just lazy, but the combination of them all does lead me to believe ADHD explains a lot of what's going on based on what I've read so far.

I don't really open up emotionally or feel extremely comfortable talking about mental health in person (typical English bloke I guess) so I'm concerned ill go to my GP and it'll be shrugged off and not go anywhere.

Any criticism or advice is more than welcome.

Mark

sarahsweets
06-11-17, 04:23 AM
Basically up to around 6 months ago, I had no idea that the "issues" I have actually fall perfectly into common Adult ADHD symptoms (or so I believe anyway). There's been many many times where I've read an article or viewed a video and feel as if I'm in the Truman show because of how accurate the description is.
So I'm here hoping for some validation before I take the big step of going to my GP to start the diagnosis process. How long have you had symptoms? What are your impairments beyond the stuff you read about being related to adhd?


For as long as I can remember, I've always struggled to focus on anything I don't find intensely interesting. Looking back at school, I found most classes interesting and was quite bright so during classes I was usually fine. Homework, revision for exams were a no go, but because I tended to do pretty well everywhere else, I think that got me a free pass through school.

Many of us have done well in school. You can still have adhd and do well in school.

Now as a grown up, I'm more aware of small things which, I think I've taken for granted for this long might not be quite right.
For example:
Major procrastination of tasks at work and at home.
Putting work off until the last moment is a big recurring theme.
Impulse buying of expensive items. Once I think I need something, that's all that's on my mind until I get it. Then once I have it, that's it, I'm uninterested.
Missing appointments unless I have alarms set to remind me
Writing lists to try and organise my schedule and things to do... Then scatterbraining and trying to do everything at once and suddenly stopping, achieving nothing (or losing the list all together and not starting at all)
Losing common items like keys, wallet etc and spending Ann age trying to find them when I need to leave.
Finding it very difficult to get up in a morning, even if I'm going on a holiday, or somewhere I'm excited for.
While doing DIY I'll put tools down and then ten seconds later not remember where they are and spend more time looking for tools than actually doing work.
Putting things off until the very last moment

These impairments are tough for sure.

The main area I've noticed things recently is suddenly becoming very 'bored' of people I'm dating, then breaking things off. Initially even meeting new people and it being new and fresh is brilliant, but as soon as that phase passes, I'll suddenly and without warning lose all interest in that person, both emotionally and sexually.
I feel genuinely terrible when I let these people down and break things off and it frightens me I'll struggle to settle in a relationship as I seem incapable of knowing when I'm happy? It's hard to explain that one.

This can be related to adhd in the sense that, we have a hard time maintaining relationships due to emotional regulation and the difficulty in staying interested. I can tell you that as far as romance and love is concerned, there is someone out there for you that will be able to hold your attention.All is not lost!

In the past I've thought this was depression, so I've been to councillors, changed jobs and it made no difference to anything. I'm quite happy in myself so it didn't really make sense to me that I was 'depressed'.

Depression goes along with adhd more often than not. It can be one of the 'comorbid' things that accompany adhd. You can feel like you are happy enough but still exhibit signs that would be associated with depression.

So basically... Am I a lazy, unemotional waste of space, or have other people had similar experiences and ended up with a diagnosis of ADHD?
Individually these "symptoms" do suggest I'm just lazy, but the combination of them all does lead me to believe ADHD explains a lot of what's going on based on what I've read so far.

From what you wrote, I dont see overwhelming evidence that points to you being lazy, plus I hate that word being used with adhd because it implies intent. We do not intend to NOT do certain things. Not doing things happens with us for reasons that the avergage 'lay' person would not be aware of. A lazy person doesnt sit around wondering if they are lazy, or come here and ask if they are. I believe a lazy person might not see themselves as lazy at all.

I don't really open up emotionally or feel extremely comfortable talking about mental health in person (typical English bloke I guess) so I'm concerned ill go to my GP and it'll be shrugged off and not go anywhere.
I get this, but you are going to have to find a specialist or psyche doc to help you. Some GP's are wonderful but most do not want to be bothered dealing with adhd or are notn qualified to deal with adhd.
I know in England it can be hard to get to the point where you are seeing a psyche for adhd. My friends have had better success going private rather than relying on the NHS.