View Full Version : Does anyone have these symptoms? Could it be a result of ADD-PI?

06-22-17, 08:12 PM
Does anyone find it difficult to have natural interactions with others? For whatever reason, I find it very difficult to enjoy myself and act naturally when hanging out with other people. For example, planning what to say in advance and just being socially awkward, and being unable to have a good time naturally.

Maybe I'm just experiencing a little depression right now because it's not always the case to the extent I'm feeling it now. But I was wondering if that if this can be a symptom of inattentive ADD, or if it is just my personality sometimes.

06-22-17, 09:23 PM
Hi, welcome to the forum!

I think it can definitely be related to ADHD. Many of us are socially awkward.
Many symptoms of ADHD make it extremely difficult not to be. Things like lack of focus, impulsiveness, short term & working memory issues along with disorganized and random thoughts greatly contribute to awkwardness.

I think just the nature of having ADHD makes interactions difficult with others at times. It also opens us up for anxiety and self-doubt. Not being able to enjoy yourself or act natural sounds like anxiety. For some reason you are being too self-conscious of your words and your image to enjoy yourself.

Feeling like you have to plan out in advance what to say would not be enjoyable. That should only be for job interviews and court in front of a judge.:lol:

Seriously, being overly self-conscious is socially crippling and is fueled by anxiety. In my case treating my ADHD has been the only thing to help me with anxiety and OCD. Controlling anxiety and ADHD will greatly help with social interactions imo.

Enjoy the forum!

07-02-17, 03:15 PM
There also anxiety disorders to consider.

07-14-17, 03:39 PM
I've experienced similar issues. A lot of times, when hanging out with a group, I'll have a response but think about it too much and then by the time I want to say it, the conversation has already moved on.

Other times I'll say things that I instantly regret because they aren't as funny as I thought they were, sound harsher than intended or seem like an awkward verbal vomit of too much or off topic information. Usually these things are followed up with a rush of anxiety especially if there are new people around.

Lately, I've been trying to shrug off a lot of this stuff. It helps me to be aware of other people's social faux pas. The awkwardness and subsequent anxiety fall off once you realize everyone else is kinda the same way and at least some of what you feel is only in your head.

I say 'some' because if you're like me and try to crack a joke that sounds more like an insult, no amount of mental gymnastics will fix that. :lol:

07-15-17, 07:37 AM
I can be blunt, direct, wonderfully sarcastic, witty and fun. Yet I also manage to step on my d**k just about everyday. Those who know me get this and know that I mean no ill intent and most people know that I am joking. If someone isnt sure, seems hurt or brings it to my attention I always try to address it pronto. If I do not like you or if you have wronged me or a loved one there will be no mistaking how I feel about you.

07-27-17, 08:44 AM
Short answer: yes. Since being diagnosed, I am more conscious of how I interact socially. There have been improvements. I now scream internally rather than blurt out something only tangentially related to the convo (but infinitely more interesting). Having a separate internal dialogue with myself to determine if anything I am about to say is ADD-inspired gibberish is by itself a socially awkward proposition, and also causes me to miss nonverbal cues. So it's a work in progress. Side note: I recently was forced to admit to a loved one that I do not understand the concept of "gratitude" at all and "empathy" only sort of. Is that part of this too?

07-27-17, 03:16 PM
Side note: I recently was forced to admit to a loved one that I do not understand the concept of "gratitude" at all and "empathy" only sort of. Is that part of this too?
In my opinion, no, lack of gratitude and empathy (or at least poor understanding of them) has nothing to do with ADHD itself.
But admitting you don't understand these concepts is a bold and honest step.

07-27-17, 04:12 PM
I don't think that the inability to understand gratitude or empathize with people is a symptom of ADHD (I have full-blown ADHD PI and have no issues in this regard, nor have I ever heard these described in the symptom umbrella).

However, when my ADHD is really bad, it has such a strong effect on my performance in virtually every aspect of my life that it affects my confidence. When my confidence goes down, my social skills suffer, and I find it more difficult to interact naturally with people because I'm too busy spiralling out inside my head to be witty, funny, or otherwise engaged. I've found in the past that medication helps—I'm restarting tomorrow, so hopefully that will happen again.

07-28-17, 09:55 AM
I dare to disagree with the last 2 posts

07-28-17, 10:08 AM
I dare to disagree with the last 2 posts

Twenty-four children with ADHD (mean age = 10.3 years) were compared with 36 healthy controls. All children completed the interpersonal reactivity index (IRI), a self-reported empathy questionnaire, and performed the "faux-pas" recognition task (FPR). Children with ADHD performed the task with and without MPH.
I dont know if 24 adhd children and 36 controls would be considered unequivacally accurate. In my opinion this study could be seen as cherry picking.

11-04-17, 09:33 PM
I recently though to myself, I seem to have anxiety around people, no matter who they are. Strangers, friends, parents, and wife. Doesn't matter who it is. I seem to have considerably less anxiety when i'm alone, however, by living in an apartment, if i hear anyone within proximity of my location, I can feel my anxiety ramp up like a roller-coaster slowly escalating upwards, before eventually plunging into a full flegged decent to panic...


i'm like, never comfortable unless i'm completely alone with my imagination and zero limits... which is like, never.

11-05-17, 01:29 PM
I didn't used to be socially awkward but I am now. I used to have a great social life and did well but then ADHD-I, depression and anxiety combined with getting another degree to change careers and failing miserably the first try led to me being a hermit except for work for 5+ years really left me very socially awkward.

Even at work when people begin to talk about social experiences, I get uncomfortable and tend to leave the conversation if I can.

11-06-17, 07:44 AM
In my life there have been periods like that, but also periods that are totally opposite. For a long time i therefor considered the possibility of having bipolar.

I just seem to have periods where i am fast-moving and busy-busy-busy, where i don't have time to worry about my social ackwardness and just be in the moment. Ussually this is during periods of sustained hyperfocus, and my self confidence is way up.

But then there are periods that i am literally doubting about what to say, and how to act, that i am so carefull about how i come accross that i loose my authenticity. I remember when i was young that i hated going to the supermarket cause i got stressed out waiting in line to have a "conversation" with the cashier lady.

11-16-17, 09:03 PM
Most of my life I've been clueless about social relationships. Pretty much avoided friendships in public school. I got over some of it, but still...talking to people I don't already know well can seem like walking in a minefield sometimes.

11-16-17, 09:24 PM
Don't know if it's an ADHD-thing. But it's definitely a ME-thing. I have no friends, literally. I don't go out and socialize with anybody. I only go out when I have to and I only exchange dialog when I have to.

On one hand my loneliness makes me depressed, on the other hand, it's the perfect comfort blanket, because I don't need to concern myself or feel responsible for anybody elses worries, which would be too much on top of my own.

11-17-17, 11:11 AM
I would put it this way: not all ADHD people have difficulties socially, but ADHD does often create social difficulties. I know it has with me! There are a variety of reasons, depending on the person too, of course. Here are a few that come to my mind that have created social difficulties for me:

- Having trouble paying attention when others are talking
- Feeling self-conscious (which creates social awkwardness)
- Speaking without thinking (especially for the hyperactive/impulsive types)
- Not paying attention to non-verbal social cues that most other people would notice
- Feeling bored or impatient with small-talk.

Maybe that last one sounds like a weird one, but I think it makes more of a difference than most of us realize. Small-talk is a normal part of building connections with other human beings, but I have to work at doing it! I think, like, oh brother, who cares about the weather, can we move onto something deeper already? But it helps me to remember that even "boring" small-talk is a way to show people I care about them. So I give an inward sigh, control my impatience, and try to cheerfully discuss the weather... :-/

11-20-17, 04:52 PM
I don't know, I think socializing is a lot of work for people with inattentive ADD. It's not easy to follow all of that information people give you, or to access all of the info they ask you for, even if they are simply trying to be friendly.