How many of you out there are parents who are ADD? I read lots about parenting the ADD child, but, as parent with ADD, how do I raise my 3 year old son without messing him up? He is such a happy, social little guy now. How do I not mess that up? If it were not for him, I would probably be a recluse, or close to it. Sometimes I feel the world way too heavily and feel the need to escape into my own. I have a small circle of close friends who understand and accept me for the hot and cold social attitude. But with the play dates, birthday parties, school functions, it’s already bringing out my instinct to play dead until all the activity passes. I am not a conventional parent as is. His father and I have a shared parenting arrangement. My choice as an alternative to subjecting my child daily to an extreme example of a dysfunctional family dynamic. In this day and age there are still those around who treat you like a novelty. Of course this only adds to the social discomfort. But the really big question is, how do I NOT make my child like me? How do I, as a part time social recluse, help my child to stay the bright, enthusiastic social little guy that he is now???:faint:

Jenjor,
Have you sought a diagnosis and treatment for your ADHD?

I hear you JENJOR,

I am also a parent with ADD and feel exactly the same way, I had a terrible time in school, which is why I chose to homeschool my children, to protect them from the bullys, cause in my mind, you were one of two things, a bully or a victom of a bully, nothing else in between, and yes I am very much of an escapist, withdraw-is my natural tendency-always has been-I don't enjoy social stuff, but now that mykids are teenagers, I see that they are not at all like me-they are outgoing, especially my daughter, she is 13-but has boy issues, she likes boys for friends as opposed to girls, but does not know a stranger, and I feel because I homeschooled her is more caring in general about people, and I know she is smarter than some of them-but also more sensitive-my son who was very bright at a young age, is now sort of "out of it" and is totally opposite, but he has a few friends, just is not a big deal to him one way or the other, he is like me, the inattentive-

I would just say to let your child be himself, you won't hold him back-just have the parties, hard as they are-I go into overload with parties, how to plan, what to do, etc. but just enlist help and do what you can to provide opportunities for them to reach out to others in their own way. Good luck to you in all that you do.

I hope this helps you............................................LOR I

Jenjor,
Have you sought a diagnosis and treatment for your ADHD?

My therapist has recommended medication. I have always been leary of meds of all kinds...even aspirin. But I have been considering the idea only because I hope that it may help me not to set a poor example for him. Unfortunately, Im not sure taking meds is such a hot example either. I am indecisive by nature. This is one of the harder decisions Ive had to make. Right now I am leaning toward taking the meds being a "less bad example"

What do you have to loose with trying meds, if you don't like the way you feel when you're on them than stop them............

He already is like you....genetics.

As Barkley said, "why do so many parents freak out when their child doesn't make the bed". The point he is trying to make is, don't make an issue out of the small stuff, it really isn't that important. Pick your battles,..."the hill you are going to die on with him". Otherwise love him to bits.

He will turnout to be who he is, we as parents think we have more influence in the development of our children then we really have. That's the 60's hangover.

Of course you are all right. Live and let live. What shall be will be and all that jazz. I guess I am deluding myself to think I have more control over his happiness than I really do. A heavy burden when you think about it. Thank you for your input. I will probably try the meds. If they help me feel a little less scattered,all the better for me and my son.