View Full Version : ADHD stigma and labeling


JakeH99
06-24-17, 04:14 PM
I am having a tough time with being treated for adhd since my friends found out about it they started laughing at me and giving me hell for not being able "to concentrate on anything" and they talk to me about it like it's a negative thing to me. I'm considering not being friends with them anymore but they don't understand how life really is with adhd. I don't want to lose them as my friends but they (4 friends) are all usually pretty good about it to me but lately they have been saying some rude stuff like I'm being a bad friend because "I can't concentrate on anything but myself." That is the kind of stuff they say to me. I don't want to have to tell them it bothered me as they might think I'm 'weak' or whatever but I mean it's my friends I've grown up with throughout high school and during middle school, so what should I say to them? Suggestions are good, thanks!

Little Missy
06-24-17, 04:18 PM
it is usually best not to tell anyone you have adhd. ever.

Johnny Slick
06-24-17, 04:46 PM
It really, really depends. I think it's a thing you more or less have to tell a SO eventually, and sooner is probably better than later. I also think you should find a way to let your family know since it has a very genetic component to it (for instance, once I figured out that I had it, it was easy to see that my late father also suffered from it and at least one of my brothers as well as a couple cousins also have it). For friends, it super depends on the friend but in my mind you should be able to be around a true friend without having to apologize all the time for ADHD blurts and frustrations. For co workers and acquaintances I'd err on the side of caution for the reasons stated.

ginniebean
06-25-17, 12:21 PM
I think I'd very harshly tell them 'stop being a jerk'. Sometimes people don't know they're being jerks or if they do' need a good hard stomp on the toe.

Cyllya
06-25-17, 06:27 PM
I don't want to lose them as my friends but they (4 friends) are all usually pretty good about it to me but lately they have been saying some rude stuff like I'm being a bad friend because "I can't concentrate on anything but myself."

They are usually good about it, but they're recently saying you're being a bad friend, for a reason that doesn't sound particularly ADHD-related.... You didn't give many details, but my thought is that you're doing something which actually is upsetting to them. (I mean, regardless of whether they "should" be upset, they would still be upset by it regardless of whether you had ADHD or whether they knew about it.) If they haven't adequately clarified what they're upset about, maybe you can ask next time it comes up. Then give their concerns some fair consideration.

But if they're really just being jerks about your medical condition...

I think I'd very harshly tell them 'stop being a jerk'. Sometimes people don't know they're being jerks or if they do' need a good hard stomp on the toe.

This.

You shouldn't have to hide a medical condition or other part of your life to keep your friends and family from being jerks about it.

Plus, they're going to be able to see the symptoms regardless of whether they know the reason.

Plus, it's physically impossible to re-hide it from people who already know.

sarahsweets
06-27-17, 04:20 AM
no offense, but your friends sound like as**oles.

Emre22
06-27-17, 08:50 AM
it depends on how you promote yourself to them
it is on your hands, most important thing is hiding your weakness' in those kind of relationship

so it is 0-1 for you, try to be strong

they will never understand you, they dont try it even ( it is easy to understand that from their behaviour)

finallyfound10
06-29-17, 01:55 PM
I am sorry that you are in this situation. Ask them what they are upset about: Are their feelings being neglected, are conversations dominated by talking about ADHD? If so they may really be hurt and acting out. If it's not true then maybe they are a**holes and you need to put your foot down and if it continuous find new friends.

sarahsweets
06-30-17, 09:05 AM
Dont dignify their comments by asking why. Just shut them down. Tell them to go f**k themselves if need be. Abuse doesnt = friendship.