View Full Version : Self Harm


littlewren
06-29-17, 08:38 AM
I was wondering whether any parents have experienced issues around self harm in their children? She has done it twice the second a step up in terms of severity. She had counselling the first time which looks like it only helped in the short term. Is there a link between self harm and ADD and if so should the approach to help her be slightly different?

I am so gutted that she feels so stressed and upset with her school and friendship group that she feels the need to take a pair of scissors to her arm and nothing I try to say or do helps her. I was told that it was just a phase, a one-off and now we know different.

sarahsweets
06-29-17, 09:08 AM
There is a huge connection between anxiety and depression and adhd. And a huge connection between anxiety and depression and self harm. Please take this seriously. 2 years ago when my youngest was 11 we saw signs of depression. She withdrew, stayed in her room, would cry when I took her to school and missed a lot of school. She had said many times how bad she felt and we noticed evidence of self harm. That self harm combined with the depression ended up being suicidal. Many people would say "whats does an 11 year old have to be depressed about!" She couldnt help it. I had to have my 11 year old hospitalized for suicide inpatient for 3 weeks, and then IOP for 4 weeks. I thought I was the worst mom in the world. We already had a psychiatrist because all three of my kids have adhd and other issues but I didnt know it was that bad.
The good news is medication saved her life. Meds and therapy. She was so close-she had a plan to overdose. She is a new woman now. 13, has friends, is in theater. Good grades, a different kid. She would not have made it if I didnt get her help.
Get your girl help. Not the standard help, but real intensive help. Dont let people tell you its a phase or that its normal or typical-or that she will get over it. I firmly believe there are scores of girls screaming silently for help through self harm.

littlewren
06-29-17, 09:25 AM
Thank you so much for your reply, my heart goes out to you and your daughter and I am so happy to see that she is in a much better place now - it gives me hope. It sounds like our experiences are similar my daughter was 11 when she first hurt herself, just before her SATS and she does exactly as your daughter did, withdrawing, emotional etc. She isn't formally diagnosed yet but it makes so much sense hearing your experience and how difficult my daughter finds stress and anxiety.

I will absolutely follow your advice I think I was quite na´ve to trust the word of the school, in fact I was almost made to feel like I was over-reacting.

phlylady
06-30-17, 02:09 PM
Yes, my daughter self harms. She does not have ADHD but she has PTSD and GAD which have a lot of overlapping symptoms with ADHD.

I agree with Sarahsweets that intensive help is called for. We have had her inpatient twice, and she does weekly counseling with a psychologist who specializes in a particular form of CBT called DBT. She is also on a slew of medications that she sees a pediatric psychiatrist to manage. We're still working on finding the right solution for anxiety but her depression is much better and the therapy is helping it as well.

Do not ever think you are overreacting when it comes to keeping your child safe. There is no such thing as overreaction, only underreaction which can be tragic. It's very hard to go through and I send you and your daughter my best wishes.

littlewren
06-30-17, 02:58 PM
Thank you for your advice and I am sorry to hear about your daughter - seems much more common than I thought. So far the school have done nothing, they told her to think about having counselling but to let them know after the summer holidays :rolleyes: Personally waiting until September then however many weeks for an available place is ridiculous.

I'm going to contact her educational psychologist and doctor on Monday.