View Full Version : I've struggled with mental health issues my entire life; is it ADHD?


severon
07-20-17, 08:46 AM
I recently started looking into what ADHD actually is, and the symptoms fit like a glove, with some symptom lists fitting entirely and others all but a few apply to me.

So for as long as I can remember I've always seen myself as different to others. I was bullied in school for being weird and annoying, talking too much and generally struggling socially. This social struggle persisted into my teens, where I luckily began to understand what I was doing wrong, to make an extra effort not to interrupt people or abruptly change the topic of conversation. But still, aged 22, every conversation is a battle of regulation.

I've just finished university, where I managed to do next to nothing for three years and still fortunately get by. However my chronically chaotic and unorganised way of living is proving to be a barrier to my success; my potential is never met. I've always had a obsessive personality, picking one or a select few interests and making delving deep into them whenever possible, like an addiction. This pushes mundane, 'unimportant' tasks persistently to the back of my mind, paying bills, tidying up, even eating and sleeping!

At the same time as having this ability to focus on my passions, I am generally distracted extremely easily, especially when in a busy or highly sensory situation. I often feel like my brain moves too quickly for me, which has in turn led me to regularly smoking cannabis to try to 'slow down'. The goal is to try dull the rapid influx of thoughts, which when negative can be all encompassing and highly distressing, causing terrible mood swings, particularly toward frustration and anger, and in the past panic attacks.

Since my teens I have struggled self loathing, the idea that everyone else finds like so easy while every day can be a struggle for me is toxic. I was always told at school that I was highly academic, scoring high on IQ tests and doing well in class. This all came to a close when I started doing qualifications which actually required revision. I cruised through my GCSE's (age 16), doing little to no revision and getting good grades, again missing my potential. Then came A-Levels (Ages 16-18), these are the precursor to university in the UK. I managed to do well in Sociolgoy and Economics/Business because I showed interest for them, however, due to distancing myself away from Mathematics I did terrible, and was lucky to even get into university. During my A-Levels I stopped going to school, by the end entirely, fortunately the school allowed me to go in for 1 hour per subject to ensure I was going to pass, as again I was not living up to my potential.

I'm just sick of hating myself for who I am, for struggling with such simple, easy tasks. It's taken me 2 weeks to write my CV (resume) and its still not done, despite me being desperate to get a job. Having read various articles and watched various TED talks it seems like ADHD would explain my daily struggles, and could be a great starting point for me to start moving forward in life.

What do you guys think?

Thanks

namazu
07-20-17, 11:00 AM
Congratulations on finishing your uni studies -- that's a huge accomplishment!

The process for ADHD evaluation/diagnosis in the UK generally follows a similar model to the way it works in the US, but arranging things through the NHS can take some time and luck with referrals, it seems. Hopefully some of our UK members can pass along advice there.

I am not a medical doctor and wouldn't diagnose you based on a forum post even if I were, but it definitely sounds like you have valid concerns and that it's worth seeking help.

Be aware that ADHD sometimes comes with a "side dish" of other disorders (for example, anxiety or mood disorders), and other conditions, like learning disorders, processing disorders, and autism can also coexist or share some features with ADHD.

A thorough evaluation should look into your medical, social, family, educational, and occupational history, along with difficulties you had in the past and how they affect your life today. This can help sort out a diagnosis and provide a path forward for treatment.

Best wishes!

severon
07-20-17, 02:13 PM
Thanks for your reply, I'm going to give my GP a call tomorrow and get a callback. Hopefully they'll offer me a face to face appointment to go through it, they often just do referrals over the phone now due to underfunding.

PoppnNSailinMan
07-20-17, 10:09 PM
I've always had a obsessive personality, picking one or a select few interests and making delving deep into them whenever possible, like an addiction. This pushes mundane, 'unimportant' tasks persistently to the back of my mind, paying bills, tidying up, even eating and sleeping!

This sounds a lot like me when it comes to the things that have caught my interest!!

sarahsweets
07-22-17, 08:51 AM
I'm just sick of hating myself for who I am, for struggling with such simple, easy tasks. It's taken me 2 weeks to write my CV (resume) and its still not done, despite me being desperate to get a job. Having read various articles and watched various TED talks it seems like ADHD would explain my daily struggles, and could be a great starting point for me to start moving forward in life.

What do you guys think?

Thanks

You are NOT: lazy,crazy,stupid,dumb,evil,terrible,unworthy,unlo veable,horrible,useless, worthless,idiotic, or insignificant.
You are human.
You have flaws.
You have gifts.
Put down the bat. You've beaten yourself up enough already.