View Full Version : First day on dex, emotional rollercoaster?


Vex187
07-31-17, 08:38 AM
Hey all,

New here, and at 37 was only diagnosed last week with adhd. Long story (not so) short was diagnosed with high functioning autism previously, struggling with depression and anxiety as long as i can remember despite being on prozac the last 8 months and upping the dose. Asked my much trusted therapist whos also on the spectrum for a recommendation of a known psychologist so i can possibly move to a different ssri which might more suitable, rather than taking pot shots about what will or wont work with my local doctor.

After extensive interviews with me and my family the psychologist who specialises in comorbid diagnosis unexpectedly (to me) gave a diagnosis of adhd which i initially rejected. After a stern but honest talking to by the psychologist to me and my family he made his point about what add/adhd is and more importantly isnt, and that sitting in front of a computer for hours does not discount having adhd... probably the opposite.

At that point my only knowledge of adhd was just general stereotypes so after a lot of reading, listening, and realising im starting to run out of options as to whats "wrong" with me I decided to take on a professionals opinion for once and try the medication they were suggesting.

Guess im just looking for a sounding board. Really feel like my worlds been turned on its head, which isnt a bad thing as change is what ive been after. Having said that today being my first day on dex im not sure what to make of it.

Have been through substance abuse in the past so had a preconceived perception on what dex would be like. What i wasnt expecting is how it actually affected me. Pretty much instantly went quiet, had not so much to say, spent the day sitting down by myself feeling the wind and was extremely emotionally "raw". The too familiar feeling of wanting to cry came over me which is hard to seek out support from friends as a male. Wasnt a comedown effect as it was worse on it.

Its not something i necessarily attribute to a negative side effect, but just wondering if freshly diagnosed adults starting on dex or other medications have felt like it opened up previously closed emotional pathways? Im beginning to understand that emotional self-awareness isnt one of my strong points, and generally attribute strong emotional feelings to something negative... but im also aware its a problem presenting itself that wasnt before and i dont get my emotions so i could be totally wrong.

Anyway i digress, hope thats not too much of a ramble. Would appreciate any feedback at the moment i really feel lost.

Regards

sarahsweets
08-01-17, 07:46 AM
What is your dose and frequency with the dex?

Pilgrim
08-01-17, 12:11 PM
Activities that generate a lot of adrenaline and excitement are common for adders. Motorcycle racing takes a certain type personality that's more enthralling than frightening. Siting in front of a television screen gives a certain endorphin hit neutro typical people don't experience the same way.

The normal stereotypes that most have seen are not the norm, think someone sitting quietly staring out to space.
Medication is a good thing but be mindful of how it affects you. I found this long and slow but I guess this is a bit like meeting a new person.
There's many points that can happen now so just let it process. Might be a good idea to keep a mood diary.
I've had history of taking ' soft drugs ' this can be a sign of self medication. Crying has come more naturally but I think it's just a release of pent up emotions and a healthy outlet. IMO Dex makes you think more clearly so emotions become more obvious therefore easier to experience and express.
Goodluck

Vex187
08-10-17, 05:32 PM
Last week i was on 5mg twice daily but have since gone back and asked to have it increased to 10mg twice as i was feeling too flat. Am also on 40mg prozac but think i'll drop it as the main reason i went on it i the first place was for anxiety. Now im on dex any anxiety is well and truly gone so maybe the prozac is contributing to the flat feeling.


Last week was a little rough but got through it without any avoidance but a few drinks the other night. Think it was a combination of extreme relief, anxiety dropping away which allowed hidden emotions to come forward, and feeling a bit conflicted about having to take an amphetamine most days. Getting to know a new person is a really accurate description... its weird. Subtle but major changes, its a new me but its still just me.

Did race bikes for 16 years and love quick cars still so guess that makes sense, when i was young my parents always talked about how i was calm and "zen" for days after racing. Many pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are starting to come together, its a good feeling. Less apprehension and more anticipation about how things are going to go.

Vex187
08-14-17, 06:48 AM
So I seem to have picked up an uncontrollable tics. Started with me curling my toes on Sunday then ended up yesterday with whole body twitches so stopped the dex. Had none today but twitches and tics seem to be getting worse. If the dex accentuated them how long does it usually take after stopping for it to settle?

Pilgrim
08-14-17, 04:15 PM
It's not easy during the first phases on Dex. But it can enlighten because it's like night and day. Was for me. I'm not a Dr so what take it as just a personal journey.

I'm not a fan of combining SSRI' s with Stimulints medication for the reasons you describe. I did find one occasion when using SSRI 's for anxiety helpful. But in my experience youwork this out pretty much straight away.

Here is a good time to include some form of exercise in your routine. IMO

Tics can be a sign of a dose to high. But see how it goes. A topic that is brought up time to time is the change of medication and dose, also the combining of another drug. Just wanted to say that it takes time for the body to acclimatise to medication. The end result your looking for is really no side effects and symptoms controlled very well. Dex does this. If you had told me this before I had taken Dex I wouldn't have believed you.

That's my experience.

Vex187
08-15-17, 01:42 AM
Cheers. Tics ended up getting bad enough that my toes, stomach muscles face and lips hurt. Hospital gave me some Diaz to calm my body down and have booked in to see my specialist the soonest available appointment is in 2 weeks.

Prozac fixed a large part of my crippling anxiety which is the only reason I took a bit in lobido and continued to take it but when I see him next I'll speak with him bout all my options. In Oz The only other stimulation is ritalin and 5mg twice of Dex made me really lethargic to the point where I wasn't comfortable taking it at uni so maybe that's not the right one for me

sarahsweets
08-16-17, 04:15 AM
Last week was a little rough but got through it without any avoidance but a few drinks the other night. Think it was a combination of extreme relief, anxiety dropping away which allowed hidden emotions to come forward, and feeling a bit conflicted about having to take an amphetamine most days. Getting to know a new person is a really accurate description... its weird. Subtle but major changes, its a new me but its still just me.

Be careful of mixing alcohol with dex. Especially if you have a history of addiction. Taken too close together can make you not feel as drunk as you actually might be.

Vex187
08-16-17, 08:59 PM
Thanks for the supportive replies, im glad i found this forum.

Yeah i understand that from my recreational amphetamine uses back in the day that if you have enough amphetamine alcohol doesnt appear to have an effect, but im also only taking 2x10mg of dex a day at 8 and 12. Party started at 7 and finished at 3am. Having said that i was designated driver for my mate and only had 4 drinks over 7 hours to calm my nerves in a situation which i struggle with - party with a group of people where i only know a couple people and often end up saying things to people i dont know which have a propensity to quickly end conversations or make people go ahhh and politely walk off and talk to others. Dealt with these things for a long time so while it may suckr i get used to it and to be honrdt its no real problem as if someones not willing to give me time to get to know me im comfortably not interested in them... but it would be nice if i did fit in sometimes.

Been off the dex for a few days now, can deal with the minor ticks as im starting to understand these have been a constant since i was 5-6 just never thought of them as tics just habbits i had. after the tic and full body twitch atttack i can see though that they've never been in my control but arent anything major, and i ususally do some sort of action afterward to make it look like something else..

The thing i am concerned about is these weird jolts i keep getting. They're akin to when you fall asleep and get this weird jolt that almost feels like a momentary euphoric feeling in my head proceeded by an uncontrolled body jerk in arms/legs/torso. Yesterday was resting in bed with my tablet watching netflix during the day ( so not even close to tired) and would get these zaps that started in my head that would cause my body to twitch and made me drop my tablet. Theres no warning and really short, but almost give me this euphoric feeling and make my eyes roll back for a fraction of a second, not unlike when you're drifting off to sleep and jerk... which i can get a lot when im tired and having trouble sleeping. My ex girlfriend used to hate them because they woke her up.

Ive given myself the week off uni as they understand the asd part of me and they are very supportive of it. Im taking diaz to make sure its not stress related as per the hospitals recommendation until the weekend. Im cool with my sniffing, constant need to swallow as if i have a sinus drip (which i dont), aheming to clear my throat which is starting to feel red raw, but these "electric shocks" are starting to cause some concern. Not after a forum or google diagnosis but would like to hear if anyone has experienced anything similar and what they found they were.

As it is now im really self conscious to go out in public because of this stuff. Its sota minor but ive already noticed people looking at me, which is cool cos they're prob just curious but being on the autism spectrum i honestly dont like people looking at me for weird things i do.

EDIT - one thing i did find with dex, is it really really chilled me out. Voice lowered, didnt get agrivated, drove slower, and wasnt impulsive at all which was a revelation. But i also still felt foggy and had trouble piecing together things like getting my house out of a disaster area and organising it properly.

Thanks for reading

jodonyjebi
08-19-17, 02:15 AM
Wow a smart doctor , amazing. also SSRI's are terrible

Vex187
08-20-17, 09:38 AM
Not sure if its sarcasm bout being a good doctor, but ive met many and trust few. He's one. Having said that over the years ive tried many ssri's and hated them all. Took me a year of working with my psychologist before i ran out of options and tried her suggesiton of fluox. It took me from al level of chronic anxiety and frequent panic attacks to pretty normal chilled me with hardly noticable side effects. Taking dex took all the rest of the anxiety and left me wondering if this is easy as most people have it all the time, but still felt foggy so i after the severe side effects onn dex fo 2 weeks, im open to it not being the right choice and would love to hear from anyone's what they found worked in similar situations

Vex187
08-21-17, 10:02 PM
Managed to get my gp to change me to Ritalin 10mg twice a day so hopefully that works better. Stuck with the brand name as I read people had side of effects on generic that they didn't on Ritalin. I have combined adhd-inattentive whatever it's called and while being calm and less anxiety on dex still had bad brain fog. Guess I'll find out but is Ritalin better for fogginess?

CharlesH
08-22-17, 02:07 AM
I've heard anecdotally from many people that withdrawing from SSRIs can cause sensations that feel like electric spasms in the brain. Do you think that this might be what you're experiencing?

I hope the Ritalin works well. My opinion is that you should try to stay patient, and don't permanently dismiss the possibility that Dexedrine might actual be the medicine for you. You've had your condition for your whole life, so it's worth it to be patient as you try new meds.

You mention that you don't want be a person who takes amphetamines every day. Amphetamines get a bad rap, but when used appropriately for medical purposes, there shouldn't be any shame. We don't shame diabetics for taking insulin, or amputees for being in wheelchairs. It's a personal decision, but if you're basing it off of fear of being judged, just don't share that information with your friends and family.

Did your doctors ever figure out what caused your tics? Do they suspect the Dexedrine?

That's interesting what you mentioned about the car racing, and how would make you calm for days afterwards. I don't see how a temporary event can suppress ADHD symptoms for days after the event is over. It doesn't rule out ADHD, but I just don't think it supports the diagnosis (unless perhaps you were daydreaming the whole time about the event).

Vex187
08-22-17, 03:15 AM
Thanks, Ritalin so far has been terrific. Extremely mild anxiety, and unlike sex which made me flat but relaxed almost to the point of being withdrawn. My psychiatrist told me to keep an eye out for tics as there's a chance I'll exaggerate them. A week after going from 5mg of dex twice a day to 10 they were non stop to the point where my body was in total exhaustion, reached my max amount of clondadine in a day which only helped me sleep . 4 days off the dex they're gone. Tried just one the other day as the fidgeting in class was driving me crazy so they came back. No such reactions on Ritalin, no brain fog but are open to trying dex at a later point.

The psychologist who diagnosed my specialises in adhd and comorbid diagnosis, interviewed family members and my psychologist separately so I trust his judgement and he was adamant that's my biggest issue right now..and reading about it gave me a lot of clarity why I've been struggling in life with particular things.

Only apprehension I had with dex is my past with speed abuse, but after a couple days I got a clear understanding of what I was self medicating and felt no nerd to drink or even have coffee. Just disappointed it went pear shaped. I'm feeling really positive about Ritalin though, I didn't have this much clarity on dex and have my sense of humour back. Will see what the psychologist thinks when I see him in September.


Thanks for the reply

CharlesH
08-22-17, 09:38 AM
Glad to hear that the Ritalin is going well! It seems like you have a good psychologist, and I think it's a great sign that the medication is helping with your ADHD symptoms without altering the positive parts of your personality.

Vex187
08-22-17, 08:09 PM
Thanks. once things remain stable hopefully I can work my way off prozac, psychologist was certain the anxiety was related to adhd and my horrid executive function which frustrates me to no end and depression from low self worth of constant failure to complete things for ever.
Not a great way to be when you're nearing 40 and single. Might even be able to organise the embarasssing bombshell of unwashed dishes and stuff everywhere aka my house and finally have people come inside.

sarahsweets
08-23-17, 04:38 AM
Thanks. once things remain stable hopefully I can work my way off prozac, psychologist was certain the anxiety was related to adhd and my horrid executive function which frustrates me to no end and depression from low self worth of constant failure to complete things for ever.
Not a great way to be when you're nearing 40 and single. Might even be able to organise the embarasssing bombshell of unwashed dishes and stuff everywhere aka my house and finally have people come inside.

DO you have someone like a friend that can help you get through overwhelming chores that have piled up? I went away a few years ago on vacation and my laundry room is atrocious. My neighbor did all the piles and piles of laundry while I was gone and the floor was showing when I got home. It was a big help. I have also helped other people with things like dishes.

Vex187
08-23-17, 07:08 AM
Yeah I live in a detached unit at the back of my family property, help my parents look after my 87yr old grand parents who one is in palliative care. With the ASD/ADHD side of things i have open communication with my mum, but having said that im an EXTREMELY private person and she's offered a few times but im far too embarassed to let anyone see my house. I obsesses about what people think about this, even if they're understanding and purely want to help as i constantly negative speak internally. Privativity level goes to the point that i dont want people to see my rubbish bags in the bin. Dont understand it. Im hoping i can attack the kitchen, and get rid of easy to clean stuff like rubbish, then get help tackling stuff ive been hanging onto for the last 15 years. Its difficult as being on the spectrum i love order, systems and cleanliness but on the other hand whenever i go to clean i just do 50 small jobs with no great outcome, or as ive recently learned about inattentive adhd i now know why i think about random things, forget what i was there to do, go to the kitchen and just walk around thinking bout stuff open the fridge and look for food to eat that i really know isnt there. After a while i get beat down, drained and dont feel good about my self so have found it easier to live with it the disorder that is known as my home.... but i still hate it and makes it hard to relax at home.

To be honest this is one of the bigger struggles at home. Since nobody knows me personally on the forums i can comfortably say theres stuff in my fridge thats been there for 2 years. I cant explain why i dont simply get rid of it. Part of it is not wanting people to see me take out so much rubbish, another part is i just do 1/10th of 500 things which equates to pretty much nothing accomplished.

My home disorganisation is affecting my study at the moment, ive given diagnosis letters when i started and have really understanding lecturers and course convenors, but im hoping a few days with the medication change might help with this previously frustrating and complexing issue where i know what to do but get nothing done.

Ive searched support groups locally in my city but they're almost all exclusively focused on parents dealing with kids, and the ASD groups ive been to are just full on negativity which isnt constructive for me. Second day on ritalin i feel better again, last night ended up comfortably talking to random people at a bar without social anxiety and without being drunk so i feel im on the right path but theres still a lot of hurdles im aware i need to face just dont know the right solutions as i often feel burnout and just want to zone out watching something like a scifi or a documentary and deal with the stuff later.

Vex187
08-23-17, 07:44 AM
Also excuse the re-edits, love writing but getting my point across in the way i want takes many re-reads and edits and unfortunately passed the 30min limit lol. Also something positive about the change to ritalin is ive noticed the sort of focus i read people had experienced when going on medications. Not sure if ive said this already but on dex i was calm, relaxed, and totally anxiety free (anxiety has crippled me for a few years now) but also felt subdued to the point of apathy and my head was still super foggy, people would talk and i didnt have much to say back for no apparent reason even if they were interesting to me. At first i thought maybe i just identified my hyperactivity as a part of my personality which was a little depressing to be so um.... boring for lack of better words. Kept forgetting things i was doing which made me late and rush to be on time (which i hate), and also seemed to get sort of blurry vision. Before taking it i was becoming frequent that in conversations id briefly forget what we were talking about and had to wing it for a bit until i remembered (which didnt go away with dex) and was starting to really concern me internally, and often triggered negative responses in people as they thought i wasnt interested in what they had to say. This happened on the lowest dosage of dex and going 1 step up to 10mg twice a day caused the mega tic and twitch attack which was so intense and constant that i ended up me going to ER and having a physically sore and exhausted body for days afterwards.

Riatlin has made me super sharp, no heart races, no euphoria, feels like my locational hearing has become extremely precise and internally i feel super calm. only side effects so far is shaky hands and hyper lobido which sounds great, but ive been there done that and not looking for random hook ups so is sorta irritating. Not to disclose too much info but every female that walks past me grabs my desire lol. First world problems when comparing to what i was dealing with before though and funny enough had a woman start a conversation with me on her own accord which is usually not the way it happens with me, had a great chat and will prob meet up in a few days. Previously it took ecstacy/speed just for me to go up and talk to someone attractive without withdrawing.

Thanks again for the support

sarahsweets
08-24-17, 04:58 AM
How's your anxiety? I am not saying you are a hoarder so dont be offended but hoarding isnt always what you see on those shows. There are plenty of people who have difficulty throwing things away, and some of those people have one room thats a mess and the rest of the house is fine. Some people have anxiety about throwing away trash or rubbish, some people cant get rid of clothes. My point is this almost always comes down to anxiety and dealing with it. This is why I hate those hoarders shows. They hijack someone's life and anxieties and exploit them for ratings.

Vex187
08-26-17, 02:31 AM
Yeah well ive made a point over the last 10 years to not be given presents for 3 reasons. Dont like people buying something for me because some sort of social thing, i dont like it when people expect it and as i usually have no farken idea what to get, and 3rd i cant throw away clothes.

Anxiety has been crippling for me, when i saw my psychiatrist it was for a recommendation of a different ssri as while it helped to no end at first going on prozac, it came back so was hoping to find something more suitable. Ended up with the adhd diagnosis which i argued against, but he spent the time to explain what it really is and was certain that was the main cause of my anxiety. First day on 5mg dex i fell asleep so yeah guess he was right. Sorta comes and goes on rit but ive read you might get side effects for a few weeks and its nothing compared to what ive experienced before so i can turn off to it pretty easily. Also now for the most part my social anxiety on rit is gone, still is there in some sitatuions last night like at a bar with a mate. Got busy, lots of friendly people sat around and we were all chatting. Was fine with 3 people but once there was 6-7 and sitting close i just closed down internally. Put my head down and could tell people were thinking i was stuck up/rude. Im cool with that though as its bout them not me.

In terms of house its just i see a whole bunch of stuff to get rid of, know where to start but just cant join the dots together to get it done. Im happy to throw away old clothes and junk as right now id love a clean open house with some nice meditation areas/ places to relax and a good study space but im too embarassed to let anyone see how much **** has accumulated. I live at the back of my family property so we're like neighbours without a fence and theres usually always someone here as my dads business is based from home.

Money and my house is the most obvious causes of my day to day anxiety. Met someone nice out, couldnt go to hers, she asked to crash at my place. Would have loved to but she would have done a 180 soon as she walked into my kitchen so yeah.