View Full Version : New relationship trust issues


Emcon1
08-05-17, 01:21 PM
Hi,
I'm new on this forum. I just have an urgent question before I mess up possibly the best thing happening to me.

I am having problems judging the person that I have recently grown to love. We are in a stable relationship, living apart and she is younger than I am. I am aware of social differences as well as the age gap but seem to find myself in swings from one extreme to the other.

I know she loves me as I always hear from her family and friends that she bubbles over when she speaks about us but it is hard for me to feel the love from her because of our situation: I am currently pending divorce. She has been with me through the process thus far but she cannot commit herself before the divorce has been finalised. And I fully respect that. We have never been intimate beyond being really close and cuddling.

Now I find myself wondering if it is a relationship worth enduring because of my mistrust which stems from my own questioning of how she could be around while I have nothing to offer her currently besides monetary support.

Meds that I am on makes it hard for me to trust my feelings like I used to before and my condition (ADHD, depression, anxiety) makes me see the dark side.

There is a whole lot more ro the story but i would just like to know your service before i make a huge mistake.

midnightstar
08-05-17, 04:20 PM
I would say if you love her and she loves you then yes, give the relationship a try when your divorce is finalised :)

Just make sure it's not a rebound though.

sarahsweets
08-06-17, 06:58 AM
Hi,
I'm new on this forum. I just have an urgent question before I mess up possibly the best thing happening to me.

I am having problems judging the person that I have recently grown to love. We are in a stable relationship, living apart and she is younger than I am. I am aware of social differences as well as the age gap but seem to find myself in swings from one extreme to the other.

I know she loves me as I always hear from her family and friends that she bubbles over when she speaks about us but it is hard for me to feel the love from her because of our situation: I am currently pending divorce. She has been with me through the process thus far but she cannot commit herself before the divorce has been finalised. And I fully respect that. We have never been intimate beyond being really close and cuddling.

Now I find myself wondering if it is a relationship worth enduring because of my mistrust which stems from my own questioning of how she could be around while I have nothing to offer her currently besides monetary support.

Meds that I am on makes it hard for me to trust my feelings like I used to before and my condition (ADHD, depression, anxiety) makes me see the dark side.

There is a whole lot more ro the story but i would just like to know your service before i make a huge mistake.

If anything, the fact that she is still with you while you are getting a divorce AND not physical intimate would lead me to believe she really cares for you. Who would hang around feeling like second best with no intimacy if they didnt love you. Its tempting to think its all about the money and maybe if you are a millionaire that could be true, but are you rich an wealthy? Are you giving her the life beyond her wildest dreams and shes just hanging on because of that?