View Full Version : Apathy and Weird Social Behaviour


Darkfire5900
08-22-17, 08:52 PM
For a long time, I was quite clueless as to what I experience, however I believe I've finally been able to describe it easily.

Let's make up a silly example. You are afraid of cats.
So, what you do is walk up to a cat and pick it up. Even though you're afraid of them.
You do this to feel stimulated.

I seem to exploit my fears, such as people leaving me, etc. And make myself and others believe that, in order to make myself sad, bit feel the same calm stimulated feeling stimulants give you. For anyone wondering, Adderall did take this behavior away for me.

I was wondering if anyone else experiences, or experienced the same thing.

spacegrrl
10-02-17, 01:34 AM
Do you mean like obsessively poking an injury? Because totally. I was never a cutter, but I would scratch and dig my nails into my hands as deep as I could, etc. I didn't want to leave marks, but it made it so I could breathe.

I went through a long self-destructive period before stabilizing into a less self-destructive place. I made choices that would be emotionally painful as well. Choosing people who would be cruel to me. Both friends and romantic partners. I've been married for 9 years, but I still have impulses in that direction. I also feel like I'm less myself by having a safer and saner life.

Isn't risk taking a component of ADD?