View Full Version : Conversations

09-08-17, 10:14 PM
Any tips on having a conversation without getting bored and looking at your phone??

I struggle really badly with this.

It caused a big fight just this morning with my SO.

Little Missy
09-08-17, 10:18 PM
Put it away.

09-08-17, 11:13 PM
Try to have important conversations while engaging in something active? I don't know.

09-09-17, 12:35 PM
i usually guide the conversation in my direction lol i can talk for hours, people tend to slowly crawl away from me. i talk too much i guess

09-16-17, 06:01 AM
I struggle with this too but here are a couple of ideas that have helped me:
- Fidget with something out of line of the other person's sight, or in a non-obvious way so as not to irritate the other person. An ADD friend of mine has a fidget toy she uses all the time. I haven't done that because I would keep losing the fidget toy but it works for some people.
- At appropriate points, insert questions to clarify things ("so what you're saying is...", "do I understand you correctly that...?"). If you have lost track of something because of wandering attention, they will usually help you get back on track quickly. It is more effective than just asking them to repeat, because it keeps the conversation moving better, and asking questions is more interesting than trying to pay attention while the other person rambles on, and it shows you care about them.

09-25-17, 01:59 AM
Try to find something that's interesting about the conversation, even if the conversation itself is boring.

Some tips:

what is it about the topic that they find so fascinating and why? If you don't know much about the topic, this also helps you come up with some good questions to ask that makes them feel listening to.
what does their body language look like while they're talking? What do you think they're feeling about the subject?
if you can't relate to the topic, can you relate to the feeling? Is there something you know about that you feel the same way about?
if appropriate, take notes. Good way of fidgeting and retaining the info better!
at worst, if they go on for too long, tell them "I love you and want to listen to you, but I can't focus right now. Could we talk about this later?" and set yourself a reminder to bring it up again soon!

09-25-17, 02:16 AM
If you're so bored when talking with your significant other that you find yourself wanting to look at your phone, I suggest you 1. turn off your phone, and 2. find a different significant other who actually compels your attention.


09-25-17, 04:32 AM
Maybe tell your so that you cant have very long conversations bbecause you cant focus which im assumijg ia the prpblem here and ask if you can break up big conversations by maybe getting a cup of tea or something.

Turn off your phone. Even if you cant focus at least you can try.

Try to identify when and why exactly you switch off. Is it a particular topic or time of day or lwngth of conversation? Are you tired or hungry?

09-25-17, 11:28 AM
Try to identify when and why exactly you switch off. Is it a particular topic or time of day or lwngth of conversation? Are you tired or hungry?
Good point! I also have lately been trying to do better at noticing when my mind has wandered. Maybe that sounds crazy, but my mind wanders so much that I often don't even realize I'm distracted until I discover I have no idea what the person has said for the last five minutes. :rolleyes: When I realize my mind is wandering, I'm more likely to be able to take steps to get it back on track. ;)