View Full Version : ADHD or am I just lazy?


Paulguitar01
09-14-17, 07:20 AM
I'm sure a lot of people join these forums asking if they have ADD so I apologise in advance.

I've always struggled at work, it feels like I have difficulty taking in instructions/ information verbally if they are complicated or boring for me.

Once, suspecting I wasn't listening to him, a previous boss asked me during a conversation what he had just said and i really couldn't remember. He was very unhappy with me. I couldn't remember what he said even though he'd literally just said it. He complained that I never listen.

If I don't enjoy what I'm doing I really struggle to concentrate. I almost always avoid things that seem like hard work. I keep making plans, i.e. Play guitar every night (did this for a month then stopped). I've never been able to stick with things, I chronically procrastinate.

Disorganisation and procrastination have been the story of my life for as long as I can remember. I've impulsively started lots of different hobbies but never stick with them.

My parents took me to the doctors when I was young as they said I was hyperactive and I think the dr tried to get me on Ritalin. My mum refused as she thought the side effects weren't worth it. I very rarely did coursework at school and studied for one exam, music (which, surprise surprise, I enjoy). I've struggled with every job I've had, i quit my last job because I felt it was that or get fired. (Bosses were talking about moving me to another department because I was too slow).

I'm very intelligent but I really can't motive myself to do anything that requires difficult thinking on boring tasks or organising myself. I have very low self esteem with work as I nearly always struggle.
People have called me lazy and I believe I am lazy. Work feels like hell for me because I either just don't understand it or procrastinate like mad and avoid it. I'm writing this now at work.

When I like something and don't find it boring I can focus intently on it. But anything boring I avoid like the plague, including things I want to do.

New jobs im good at, when I get tight deadlines at work i'm very productive.
I'm regularly out of my seat at work and my boss has even commented on it once or twice. How the hell do people sit still and do boring reports all day?!
I use caffeine every morning to give me focus and motivation but when that wears off I sink to lack of motivation. I'm on sertraline for depression due to this and my home life is much better but work is still hell for me. Work is a complete disorganised mess.

I have two long reports I need to do at work but I've been sat on them since May. I'd rather be shouted at then do them. I don't know, maybe I just need to stop being lazy. It's a huge relief when I'm not at work. My job is a living hell for me at the moment.

On a final note: I've taken online adhd tests and they've said to go to the doctors 'soon' as I always score highly in inattentive and hyperactive ADHD. I feel like I'm trying to make excuses for myself though and that I should just stop being lazy. I wish I could 🙁

My question is does any of this sound familiar to you as ADHD symptoms or is this just depression and anxiety as my GP has said?
I am awaiting a reply from them as I did the ADHD self assessment form (which I scored quite high on)

sarahsweets
09-14-17, 08:18 AM
What were some of the impairments you had in childhood and when did they start?

Paulguitar01
09-14-17, 09:43 AM
Thanks for the quick reply :)
It started before I can remember. Maybe 3-4.
My parents just said I was very hyperactive. Jumping around a lot and wouldn't sit still at restaurants etc. Was frequently under the tables etc. I'll have to ask them and will update when I do.

A cousin of mine on my dad's side was the same as a child as was my Dad.

so_so_isaac
09-14-17, 11:34 AM
Yes, yes I believe u do have adhd. In 30 and been in n out of jobs for the exact same reasons you mentioned. I have so much goals I want to accomplish but I'm so incredibly "lazy" I always tell my self tomorrow in going to get up and kick add. But tomorrow turns into a week, a week into a month, am month into a year. U get me? I have absolute no motivation. It's the story of my life. I feel like I need to put a stock over my head with a piece of meat. Or something to keep me going. I wish I wasn't like this but I am. As a result of my add I have depression and anxiety(social anxiet). My life is headed into abyss. In not sure what I'm going to do.

Pilgrim
09-14-17, 12:09 PM
If I was taking a guess I wouldn't say this is anxiety and depression.

TheGreatKing
09-14-17, 04:42 PM
ask your gp to refer you to a psychiatrist and go from there....it does sound similar to me but for me i was diagnosed with a learning disability when i was quite young, as well as a speech issue but i did not get the ADHD label until i was 26 years of age. I had to pursue a diagnoses or it would not of happened on its own.

Paulguitar01
09-18-17, 04:46 PM
Thanks for the replies everyone, much appreciated! I'm just hoping I'll get an appointment with my GP following on from my initial self assessment. I was warned it can take 12 months but that doesn't help me as I'm really struggling now ��.

ScatterBrainX
09-19-17, 01:30 AM
All that sounds very familiar. It's pretty much what got me to seek a diagnosis.

One important thing to note: meds aren't everything. They help (a lot), but won't magically make your life perfect.

However, just knowing what it is makes a huge difference, because now you can look for coping strategies that other people like you have used to overcome their struggles (to a large degree, at least).

I'd recommend reading about ADHD and your specific issues (e.g. procrastination, not being able to listen, etc.). Read Dr. Hallowell's books (audiobooks may work better, while doing dishes/exercising). Watch the youtube channel HowToADD. Not every advice will work for you, but it will give you ideas to try when you're stuck, which are more likely to work.

But, most importantly, try everything (I've made the Shakira song with that title my motto in life, even if I usually don't listen to that kind of music). See yourself as an experiment in how awesome you can become, regardless of where you are in life right now. Always self-reflect, try to figure out why a suggestion went wrong, and adapt it before giving up on it entirely. But try everything, and never give up.

Example: I also forget what people (even my boss/cilents) tell me, because I get lost in thought during the conversation (usually about the project I'm making for them, but that's irrelevant). However, taking notes helps a lot, because I can take them on autopilot even if my mind drifts, and I can review them later. And after, I can put them on my TODO list or set reminders as needed.

Cory_S
10-01-17, 03:42 PM
Sounds exactly like my life dude. If I am not into something I have to do, I DREAD it to the point where it puts me in a bad place emotionally. I get irritable with people when I am in these situations. Ritalin has helped me a lot. I can get work I hated done now, I can keep up on chores and make appointments with ease. In fact the things I used to hate bother me very little now. I would push for a second opinion with a phsyc if I were you.