Ever had a class where you felt like you couldn't relate to ANYONE in there? I mean in terms of organization and not waiting until the last minute. I had a photography class like that this past spring semester. We had these assignments where we had to shoot and develop black-and-white prints.

The thing was, the prints could only be done in the darkroom, and the darkroom was open odd hours. I think the hours were like, most weekday evenings from 6 pm - 10 pm. Except for Wednesdays, when they were open from 2 to 4 in the afternoon. And then on Sunday evenings the darkroom was open from 6 to 9. Sunday nights the darkroom was PACKED because the assignments were always due on Mondays, so yeah.

However, and this is where the difference between my classmates and me comes in, it seems like I was the only one who went into major panic mode. I had a tremendous fear of not being able to finish my assignments on time.

I had the intense fear because I was retaking the class. I didn't pass the class the first time precisely because I didn't finish the prints for my final project on time. The teacher of that first class was furious with me, and I think she took personal offense to my prints not being in on time. The final day of the class, the day the final projects were due for critique, I didn't have mine mounted up on mattboard (a requirement). She wouldn't let me mount them while other students were presenting their critiques, so it was a no-win situation. After the class ended, she yelled at me to come clean up 'my' mess (pieces of cut paper that EVERYONE had left on the floor, not just me) and then as I was leaving, the photo lab monitor/TA said something to the teacher about how I didn't get my prints mounted the night before. I knew he said something along the lines of that, because the teacher responded with, "She didn't even participate in the critiques!" There was a tone of both rage and disgust to her voice.

Anyway, so that memory haunted me while I was retaking the class. I would get all panicky about things that the other students weren't even phased by. I went out of my way to stay on my toes and appear really REALLY interested in photography so that the teacher wouldn't get offended and assume I wasn't that interested in her class (why is it always photography teachers who are like this?).

We used these things called enlargers to make the prints. There were only so many in the darkroom, and on Sundays there would be people waiting for an enlarger to open because they were all occupied. I remember one particular time, on a Sunday I arrived at the darkroom at 7 instead of 6, and of course, all the enlargers were taken. I stood outside the darkroom and waited for one to open up as I slowly became panicky. One of the other girls from the class came down the hall. She had just arrived. I told her about the enlargers being occupied. She said "Oh, crap," with a laugh. She took it lightly and went into the darkroom and said something to another girl she was friends with. The other girl offered to share her enlarger with the girl. I asked if I could share someone's enlarger, and the two girls said it would be too hard with 3 people (and it would be), so I asked around, but the funny thing is, I don't remember what happened exactly...I don't think anyone really paid attention to me or heard me.

My point of this whole spheel is, it was one of those classes where I couldn't find even ONE person in there to relate to or befriend. Even the teacher was a jerk. Anyone been in that situation? What did you do about it? How did you handle it?

I loved photography class. It was so fun, but I totally messed up. My teacher was alwasy rushing me, making me uncomfortable, so my prints sucked. When he didn't, it was great. :-p
The chemical developers smell funny. lol. Small darkroom. Crowded. High school, senior year. lol.
-- -- --
Anyhoo, all of my classes are like that. I don't talk to anyone. I don't feel comfortable talking to them. And when I do (which is rarely) it's just a few words in class. The people I feel more comfortable talkin to are the older women. like 17 or 20 years older than I. the ones that have daughters my age.

But they still talk to each other. I'm always alone in my classes lol. So if I miss a class, I have no one to call.

Mystic, I get all panicky about my assignments too... lol - JUST like what you described except not with Photography! It seems like all my classmates somehow just get everything done and don't worry about it at all, and then here I am worried to death about it, and still don't finish. I feel like I tend to blow things way out of proportion... and yet i'm not sure if maybe that's a valid feeling because things ARE out of proportion with me? I have no idea.

A good example is, I was studying in the library last semester for a certain final exam. I think I started hard core studying about 4 days before teh exam, and then when it was getting closer (the day before) I found a group of classmates who were studying for it too. But they'd just started... and hadn't even done most of the things I'd worked on yet...

they wern't panicked though, they just studied for a couple of hours, copied each other's cheat sheets, (you were allowed 2 sheets i think) and then went out to dinner for an hour before coming back. Here I was slaving away and so panicked that I'd been skipping meals, and they just sit there laughing happily!! I managed to join their group for a while even though I didn't really know them that well, and I felt like SUCH a nerd becuase of how much i'd already been working on... but it helped me a lot becuase they dragged me through a bunch of things I hadn't even touched. Their way of "skimming" the material in *exactly* the right proportions was amazing to me. I have absolutely no talent in that - i put all my time in the wrong things and then don't cover the things I really need to do. I'm pretty sure that's an ADD thing.

Anyways since I'd studied so much teh past week I made sure I went to bed early and everything. They all stayed of course since they still stuff to cover. But i am sure they got better grades than I did, even though I get extra time AND a seperate room... and even though I'd worked so much harder and worried so much more... it makes me so mad!!

So I know what you mean about having no one to relate to. Iin my 2nd and 3rd year a huge group of my classmates would get together to do homework in the "help room." I was never able to keep up with them, (becuase I'm slower with the homework, so everyone else would finish the problem and move on) so I ended up doing everything by myself. Working harder, getting less help than any of them since they were working together, and taking about 2-3 times as long. I know there are other people with ADD in my classes, but somehow I can never seem to find them... (and back then I wasn't diagnosed yet)
so yeah, i definately felt really alone. :(

the age thing is promblem too with me and my peers it's trickey but i still meet ppl all the time

I NEVER feel like I have a classmate to relate to. Either I'm feeling like I've got it together and I'm ready to chat a bit, or I'm struggling to breathe while doing the work and they're all bonding.

Does it seem like they 'bond' magically, too? I feel strained with class relationships, but one day the two people sitting on either side of me are silent strangers (and I would hear it if they were talking) and then the next day they're chatting about 'the other night' when they did such-and-such.

I think I've decided to just hole up, study, and focus on me through the rest of college. I'm not paying the school so I can make friends. :)

I feel loved guys because I've been in a lot of the same situations... many times. The truth is that "everyone is fighting battles you know nothing about." Believe me, while you are thinking how everyone is magically bonding, people all over the place are just trying to talk to someone so they feel like an outsider. Then in that same room, are the ones who just don't care. My advice... be one of them. I'm not saying, just sit there and live in your own little world. I am saying don't care about stupid things, don't let them get to you, care about what's important. Stay focus on your goal and let that be your motivation. Yet, at the same time have a positive attitude, and KNOW that many people out there are struggling and that you just have no clue about... even the popular ones. Be always open and the right person is going to jump in your life. Just like anything else, is easy to say and hard to do, so we struggle and fight... but only then we learn how to appreciate life.