View Full Version : hello!


speedo
06-26-05, 03:09 AM
I'm surprised there are not more MD ADDers active on the forum.

Me :D

Johna
06-26-05, 12:17 PM
What do u mean by MD? Speedy how is the grieving process going with you? Remember crying is a good thing :)

speedo
06-26-05, 12:56 PM
MD=Maryland

I'm just trying to see if we have an ADD community here in Maryland.

As far as the grieving process goes, I'm doing okay. My father's passing was expected for a long time, so it was not a great shock. In a way, it was a release for me, because I had spent so much time and money making sure that my parents are cared for even if I am not around. It pretty much devoured all of my vacation time for a couple of years. I am the only surviving child, so I have had a full load of travel and planning for the last several years.

I can say that letting go of a parent is so very hard, but as much as we want to keep them forever, we can not. My daughter had called me to tell me that dad had died. She was in tears. I spent a whille comforting her. After we finished talking , I felt two things... sadness, and I felt that I missed my dad already. Interestingly , dad had been on my mind for a couple of weeks, and I was concerned that he might die soon.

The funeral was difficult folr me. I was in full overload during the viewing. I was having trouble with sensory issues, stress and my attention span went pretty much to zero. My daughter picked up on my distress and helped me get through it (she is one cool lady). We got each other through it as best we could. The funeral was beautiful and we all cried, and did our best to give dad a first class burial with lots of friends and family around.

As it stands now, I miss dad, I have some mementos and memories, I have done all that he asked of me prior to his death and now he is gone.

I feel fine with that, all is as it should be.

I did not realize grtief as a process until I returned from Ohio and had time to sit and think about it all. I had no idea how deeply I felt this, until I had the time to think about it. I'm fine, doin' OK. I'm amazed at myself. Usually I go full tilt through these experiences, then I train wreck later on when I have had the time to stop moving through the issues and start thinking about it. It is not like that this time.

I think part of it is that I am very busy with work, and I am working through other life issues (like my sensory problems) that I need to spend all of my energy on to cope with. I have friends keeping an eye on me, and they worry a bit too much and make me a little nuts sometimes, but it is sure great to have friends who care. I'd be in bad shape otherswise. The joke is, I don't have the TIME to crash and burn, therefore I can't.

In the long run, I have some emotional baggage to work out or it is going to cause problems for me later. It is not related to my father's death, but more to my ADD, and the consequences of it. The loss of a loved one is just part of life, so I'll get through that okay. Right now I need to overcome my ADD/HFA issues so I can move forwad with my life, and actualize my goals. If I let my neurological problems win, I will be a goner really fast, so I have to stay in motion on that front. I have a lot to do.

This is a no-brainer; Fate has thrown me into the middle of the lake we call life, and handed me a lead weight called ADD. I have to backstroke like crazy or sink. There are no options.

Me :D

Johna
06-26-05, 04:31 PM
Ok, sounds like you're working it out, but don't be surprised that you crash when you revisit your dad's home and he's not there. But you'll be ok....crashing can be good! I am South of you in the Richmond area, please send rain :)

speedo
06-26-05, 05:29 PM
Well, there is no house. It has been sold, so there is no place to go. But I'll keep an eye out for old memories.

I'll send rain as soon as I can find some. It is not in great supply here either.

Me :D

Ok, sounds like you're working it out, but don't be surprised that you crash when you revisit your dad's home and he's not there. But you'll be ok....crashing can be good! I am South of you in the Richmond area, please send rain :)

AnnAnnAnn
06-26-05, 09:08 PM
Hey Speedo --

I live in MD.

You sound overwhelmed.

You will get through -- it does end. Ann

speedo
06-26-05, 09:31 PM
I live in Greenbelt, east of DC.

Lately, it has been overwhelming. For some reason sound has been kicking my butt all through the weekend. I don't understand why. I've had to retreat to my apartment several times to recover.
Overall, I feel pretty good, I just feel a tad battered by sensory events.

Me :D



Hey Speedo --

I live in MD.

You sound overwhelmed.

You will get through -- it does end. Ann

Johna
06-27-05, 05:15 PM
That is it..I am going to go outside and do the rain dance. Last time I did that dance we got hit by Isabell :)

speedo
06-27-05, 06:58 PM
It must have worked... it rainde here today.


Me :D


That is it..I am going to go outside and do the rain dance. Last time I did that dance we got hit by Isabell :)