Does anyone else here have big issues with stress and anxiety. I can't seem to calm down - I even grind my teeth at night while I am sleeping. I don't lead a particularly stressful life. Though I am married, I don't have any children. We just built a house - all the house stuff is really getting to me. I think it is the "keeping up with the Jones's" thing - I want everyone in the neighborhood to think I am a good as they are - so when things aren't getting done (ie - the yard) when I think they should be, I just wig out - and I don't feel any better until it is all done. Of course, my husband doesn't worry about these things at all - which I think stresses me even more! The other problem is that, once one thing is done, I find something new to stress out about! Ugh! Help!

Diane:eek:

Diane: Welcome to the Forums....It is good to have you here...and if you haven't shared an introduction with us about yourself, please free to do so.....(See introductions thread).....so we know a bit about you.....

but it sort of sounds like to me that you might be talking about the "not good enoughs" possibly....? or possibly the "don't do enoughs" which I so relate to....Hey listen, congrats on building the house....that is something to be commended for....perhaps your neighbors did not build their own houses (ya know the Jones:) ) so they don't have quite as much work as you so their yards might look nicer...and heck they may not be challenged with ADD as yard work is SOOO terribly difficult for ME, as an ADD'er....as it can be boring and repititive, right?(just thought I'd throw that in).....

Are you on any anxiety meds? Do you meditate at all to help with anxiety?

In any event, hang in there....maybe it's good your husband isn't a worried person....can you imagine if he got stressed out too?:)

Again welcome....please keep posting and you will get lots of support:)

Welcome ! Love your icon, is it a grey hound?

Some times I do get both, like this week. I've been having trouble falling asleep and I've not been eating. Yesterday I made myself half a mini bagel with a dash of peanutbutter and didn't finish that and this was to be my breakfast/lunch. I had no dinner last night. I feel my anxiety in my stomach, if that makes any sence :D I just can't eat ....

To calm myself down I sometimes need to talk talk talk...lol.. My husband isn't much for listening to me because then he's stressed out..lol..So I call a friend or vent to friends via email.

The other things that help me are, having my 8 year old read me her favorite story. Sometimes just cuddling up in bed with my husband or children and talking quietly about nothing special works.

If those things fail me I just break down and cry...lol... That always works and a good cry can be good for you. ;)

Paula

Paula:
Yes, my icon is a greyhound - I have two of them. They're like potato chips - you can't have just one! :D

Ugh, I am jealous- I wish I could not eat when I am anxious. I swing between both - either I can't eat, or I mindlessly stuff my face! :D

Joan:
No I am not taking any anxiety meds. I think I do have problem though - my grandmother takes anxiety meds- could be a genetic thing. I really want to avoid the meds- those sexual side-effects really turn me off - no pun intended!

I try to do breathing techniques sometimes and it seems to help. The problem is remembering to stop what I am doing and just breathe!

Right now it is just overwhelming. I was so stressed about getting our grass planted this spring, because I really wanted it done last fall. So we get it planted - then have the concrete done. Now we need to start all over again because the concrete is higher than the grass - ugh!

Plus we are trying to get a fence in for our dogs. Two big projects at once. I worry that we won't be able to finish them before the snow flies.

Diane: My roommate has two greyhound dogs....so I live with two greyhound dogs!!! Their names are Sneakers and Danielle. My roommate treats them as though they were her "children". Isn't that interesting....no she could not get just one either....:)
Well good luck with the FENCE, and the GRASS and the CONCRETE....realizing it all will never get done....and something always needs doing....isn't it a bummer???? Don't forget to breathe....in/out -- in/out....

And keep making jokes about sexual side effects....and other things.....:D

I'd love to have a grey hound ! better remember the two for one deal...lol...

My landlord wont let us have a dog so we have 4 cats instead....lol...

I'll bet like most stuff, anxiety can be in the family. I don't blame you about the meds. Been there with anti-depressive :(

Paula

We just built a house - all the house stuff is really getting to me. I think it is the "keeping up with the Jones's" thing - I want everyone in the neighborhood to think I am a good as they are - so when things aren't getting done (ie - the yard) when I think they should be, I just wig out - and I don't feel any better until it is all done

That tore at my heart strings. I have the same problem. I have an apartment and I so want my apartment to be as clean and organized as the ones my friends have. I'm a single Mom so you can guess how hard that is when you are the house cleaner and the money getter, who has no organizing skills to speak of, I'm actually throwing alot of stuff out, 3-4 bags a week. I figure the less junk in the house the less it will get messy. Seems to work so far. I just wish I didn't care, you know what I mean? :(

I am struggling with the stress and anxiety thing at the moment. I have only found one solution - karate. It makes me focus on something other than my worries and it tires me out.

I don't compare myself to other people coz I live by a different values system to them. I see it that it's not how tidy you are that matters. If I thought it mattered I'd be a nervous wreck. I worry about other silly things instead.

diane - I tend to have lots of stress and anxiety problems - my whole life, I think. And yes, I think there definitely could be a "genetic" factor - or it's learned behavior (although I don't think I could "unlearn" this by myself) - my grandmother has panic attacks (although she won't believe it) and she will get physically ill about going on trips, etc. So I know she has anxiety, even though she won't do anything about it. And my mother is a worry-wart, among other things. :)

Anyway, I was going to tell you that I've been taking Zoloft for about a year now & I can't tell you enough how helpful it's been for my anxiety & obsessive/depressed/dwelling behaviors and thoughts. The only thing I've noticed is I've gained 5 pounds since summer and I haven't figured out yet if that's related to the Zoloft or change in diet/excercise.

But, I haven't noticed any negative sexual side effects with this drug. That was an important factor for me - I know it sounds silly, but I didn't want anything interfering with that aspect of my life (which it sounds like you can relate to). So, my point is, that different drugs have different effects, maybe there is one out there that will work for you? Good luck.

Diane,

I know how you feel. I hope that your family and friends are understanding. A year ago I truely burnt myself out with wedding plans. I obsessed about everything, trying to make it all perfect, not knowing how to calm down... and that it's not all going to be perfect.. .. little note.. my mother didn't talk to me for 3 months after the wedding. There are a few people who say I was pretty crazy: mother, bride's attendants & other friends. But I know it's true love when my husband tells me that he doesn't know what they were complaining about. I wasn't behaving inappropriately at all. Me obsessing over it got in the way of it coming out perfect..

I've been on drug therapy for 6 months now and that's what helps me to relax.

I hope for you, however you learn to relax or relieve tension will provided satisfaction of completed projects and cut out the stress of what hasn't been done. If you aren't intrested in drug therapy look into EMDR or just counseling.

Project that haven't been started just means that you have more time to be creative with them. It's can be a fun thing... mistakes can be a good thing.. the grass and cement not lining up - put a transition piece in there like a stone or brick edge that will help line it all or line it with some sort of hedge or flower box.

Good luck finishing up your yard.

Maybe a trip to the bueaty salon for a massage and pedicure every week is what you need.

Elizabeth

Ladies...I've got news for you all: "Perfect" is an illusion. It is some kind of game we play to try make ourselves feel like we are in control of things. Somehow, we think it will feel good to have things under our control! That is a d**n big job. Do the best you can. It will be good enough. It is not a contest. It is not a race. Try to see the silver linings. Try to count your blessings.

If it makes you feel any better, the "perfect", "capable, "
"together" people don't really have it all that great either. ;)

If you haven't already, try to see the movie "Bruce Almighty" with Jim Carrey. It has a great message for everyone, especially for ADDers, I think. Reviewers have likened it to a modern-day Jimmy Stewart movie. It is out on Video/DVD now.

If memory serves, I think it is family friendly, too. There may have been mild sexual references. Probably over most little kids' heads.

Bruce Almighty was *mostly* family friendly... but I do NOT recommend renting it for little ones... because there is one scene where he is a weather forecaster, and he's mad, and he's covering something in niagara falls... and at the end of a ranting weather forecast, he shouts to the camera: "BACK TO YOU, F***ERS!"

That was the only reference in the movie to that word, but it's a BIG one and won't be missed by anyone. So I HIGHLY recommend you not let them watch it.

(BTW, sorry for posting in the women's forum... just thought I would post the note of caution.)

Oh yea! I forgot about that part. I thought it was pretty funny, but he is right, not something you want your four year old going around repeating.

There was another part about Jennifer Anniston's chest. My 8 yo son thought that part was just great.

I tend to be a very nervous person. During times of stress I tend to get paralyzed or completely spaced and forgetful. When I lose things I can get very obsessive about them. I just have to find them and it feels like I can't stop myself from obsessing. I try to keep things where I place them and it feels like I can't get things organized enough. I put things in "safe" places where I think I'll find them easily, but then I forget where I put them and I get frustrated to a point where I want to explode on someone. I am very picky about my things, when someone takes, let's say a bathroom towel and it somehow gets lost, I start rumminating about who took it and why did this person take it, and I worry about whether or not this person will give it back to me... It's just crazy. I often feel bad about that. I try to compensate for my forgetful mind, I constantly have to make a conscious effort, as I said it's an obcession ( I don't know how to spell that). There's a lot more stuff that stresses me about my ADD, It can make problems heavier and larger and good things funnier and exageratingly exciting. In regards to dogs. I've gotten more tolerant to the great dane in our house. I still get obsessive about the hairs all over the house. It really bothers me. I feel all out of control when I find an excessive amount of hairs anywhere, especilally on my clothes I get very frustrated and I immediately start getting them off my territory.

I have had anxiety and panic attacks for the last 17 yrs. So I can relate. I'm on medication to help control this, it seems to help. It used to be so scary though. I think I have just learned to live with it as a part of my genetic makeup. It runs in my family,both sisters have this problem and my mom is a worry wart too. I also use deep breathing when it's possible that helps too. I also listen to tapes of nature sounds at night and that helps with sleep.

Originally posted by ferrette1976

No I am not taking any anxiety meds. I think I do have problem though - my grandmother takes anxiety meds- could be a genetic thing. I really want to avoid the meds- those sexual side-effects really turn me off - no pun intended!

I try to do breathing techniques sometimes and it seems to help. The problem is remembering to stop what I am doing and just breathe!

Right now it is just overwhelming. I was so stressed about getting our grass planted this spring, because I really wanted it done last fall. So we get it planted - then have the concrete done. Now we need to start all over again because the concrete is higher than the grass - ugh!

Plus we are trying to get a fence in for our dogs. Two big projects at once. I worry that we won't be able to finish them before the snow flies.
I use to be just like you. What I found is that often anxiety is heightened by lack of rest:
One of the BEST things I ever have done when I get stressed about things is to make a list!
Sometimes I keep a pen and pad by my bed. When I can't sleep cause all of the stuff in my head I make lists. When you wake up you can prioritize the lists and you will feel more in control of what you feel needs to be done.
After a while you get use to putting the IMPORTANT things on one list and tossing all the other stuff out.
Now, I have a small dry erase marker board on the side of the cabinet in our kitchen. It is visible from the family room so nothing gets "out of site". I write all of the important stuff on it and it gets done. My wife has even learned that if she really wants something done just to write it on the board.

I think I've swung the other way now: I don't care if stuff gets done. Now I prefer to see the board clean and clear..... which is another thread altogether.

grind teeth at night too. Now I have migraines. I noticed my adopted son grinds his teeth too. I wonder if that is a symptom of ADHD. He is a totally happy two year old so far.

I just found out I grind my teeth. I did it as a kid, but I thought I'd outgrown it. My dentist said my molars have worn down noticably just since my last 6 mo. cleaning. She is wants to mold me for a night guard, but she has to to do some work first. The restorations alone are going to be pretty expensive, let alone the molding and casting for a custom appliance. I asked if I could use one of the sports ones for the time being and she said it should work, but it would be less comfortable. I get headaches, too, so we will see if it helps.

often ADHD has another dual disorder with it(mine tends to be depression). Sounds like yours might be Obcessive compulsion Disorder. I would ask doc about some meds for that if the problem hinders your life like it seems to do. There are antidepressants that help some and Luvox is said to be good for OC. A lot of people like Wellbutrin.

There are also some purported natural antidepressants/relaxants - St. John's Wort, 5-HTP (really works for a friend of mine), SAM-e. I use Rhodiola (russian ginseng-like herb).

Also, if it were me, I'd convince my husband of the "business" advantages of having as nice a yard as the neighbors, then HIRE SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH IT and split the bill.
Then, like the Dow chemical commercials, you don't have tooooooooooo ... :D

I recently bought some generic relora at a health food store. I bought it to lose weight. I can't tell if its helping or not. I probably haven't took it long enough, but I can tell it has made me more relaxed. The girl in the store said it was good for anxiety too, but I didn't really think about it much until I took some. I was surprised at how much it helped.

That tore at my heart strings. I have the same problem. I have an apartment and I so want my apartment to be as clean and organized as the ones my friends have. I'm a single Mom so you can guess how hard that is when you are the house cleaner and the money getter, who has no organizing skills to speak of, I'm actually throwing alot of stuff out, 3-4 bags a week. I figure the less junk in the house the less it will get messy. Seems to work so far. I just wish I didn't care, you know what I mean? :(

I know just how you feel. I makes me angry if my husband doesn't tell me someone is stopping by because my house isn't just so. I worry about how the lawn looks, how the house looks. Everyone else thinks it's fine though.

Drives myself crazy.

Denise

I have ADD and Obessive-Compulsive Disorder. I couldn't do without my meds. and the only way I could really tell that my meds. were working is when I got off off them. I would do fine for about three weeks(Prozac was the med at the time) and then it would just hit me like (like when you would fall off your bike when you were little and skin your knees and everything). Remember how that felt? But with the Prozac(I'm on a diff. med now--new meds come out that are better or meds need to be tweeked) it was like a buffer or an analgesic or what they use at a dentist office to numb your gums. So that's the way I could tell it worked and also my husband told me he didn't want me to ever get off Prozac because it helped me (and him) so much. There are all of these new meds now that if one doesn't work or you have side effects you can try another. I've dealt with add and ocd all my life and it wan't untill the 1980's when I was diagnosed and then they came our with Prozac, etc. The chemicals in our brains are an amazing thing and these drugs keep the natually occuring chemicals that our bodies produce and keep them from being absorbed by our bodies.They are called re-uptake inhibitors from what I remember. Prozac works on one chemical and other newer drugs now work on more than just one chemical. There are also meds for anziety and panic attacks and you really need to see a phychiatrist(I had a REALLY hard time with that one but is was explained to me that if you break your leg you would see an orthopedist --the same with your brain-- see a specialist-a psychiatrist. Hope this helps!
Patricia

One thing that I just thought about is how important it is to really communicate with our husbands. Advise I got once from my pastor was to go on dates ( maybe once a month--even if you have children( which is even more important to spend time with each other). Go out to a special place to eat or whatever and ask your husband about what he's interested in and about his job( I tended to get jealous of him because he got to go out to eat and came home in his suit and here I was holding a baby in one arm and trying to get dinner ready and so stressed- having ADD is like having one hand tied behind your back all the time and everything seems twice as hard as anybody else-. I found out about his stresses too and I was able to share my stresses and feelings so that we could understand and help each other. We would rather talk it out than to keep it penned up inside. It's not always easy but communicate with your husband . I think it is so important to a marriage and especially when you have ADD for us to understand each other.--I've seen some posts about husbands not really helping or understanding so that's why I posted this. I have had friends di
divorce over not communicating and we don't need that stess with ADD, etc.! Hope this helps.

Patricia

I am a teeth grinder too. The adderall helps so much that I am surprised. Strattera made it worse. Are you on any meds ferrette?

Yes I have a panic disorder bad. I will get massive, scary and horrible panic attacks out of no where. I will wake up in the middle of the night with one, be calmly working at my desk, be chillin' at home relaxing. I do not get them in stressful situations, I can be in tears, angry, or in a high stress situation and I won't get one. I will get one if I drink too much coffee or take any kind of stimulant. Also if I get really dehydrated after a night of drinking a wee too much, it seems to get my heart pounding and I'll get one.

This is very recent, I never had problems with anxiety, it's just been the last 6 months that I have some how developed this. My chest is almost always tight and my heart pounds/races a lot almost on a daily basis (altho my blood pressure always shows normal, and I've had an EKG done and it too was normal). I know it's stress, I have a high stress life and I internalize my stress, I dont like to be negative or confrontational, so I would just let stuff roll off me.... It seems as though it finally started to take a toll on my body with these violent panic attacks.

It has changed me a lot as a person, just recently I've suprised myself and others with my new reactions to things, those that cause stress in my life, people who say or do things that upset me, I just don't take it anymore. I have always been afraid to be a beeotch, but now I don't care what people think, I don't care if I come across that way, if you enduse that reaction from someone who is as nice and as understanding as me, then you deserve it, I won't let crappy people ruin my health. It's not right. I am still very patient and nice to strangers and those that I care about, but if you are going to play mind games with me, I will call you on and tell you to knock it off or don't talk to me. Bunny don't play dat'.

I have always been naturally anxious, would find myself feeling stressed out and worried and I would stop and think, "why do I feel like this? nothing validates this sensation of anxiety... I have nothing on my mind to be causeing this feeling...." but I use to be able to feel better as soon as I noticed I was being tense and anxious, I have lost control over it now.

This is in response to Cait's last post:yes!!! Zoloft made me gain 15 pounds this past 6 months! I wasn't sure if it was the zoloft either until i got off of it and the first week i lost 5 pounds without even trying.When I mentioned this to one of my friends she said she had the exact same thing happen to her last summer with Zoloft. Just thought you'd want to know.

often ADHD has another dual disorder with it(mine tends to be depression). Sounds like yours might be Obcessive compulsion Disorder. I would ask doc about some meds for that if the problem hinders your life like it seems to do. There are antidepressants that help some and Luvox is said to be good for OC. A lot of people like Wellbutrin.

I see a psychologist due to anxiety and depression related to child abuse (PTSD). I also was recently dx'd with ADD although I've had it forever. Now I just have more initals to label myself. :) My counselor told me, like the above poster mentioned, that ADD often overlaps with other conditions. The same type of thought patterns occur but are called something different in different conditions. For example in depression, when you have troubling reoccuring thoughts it is called ruminating. In OCD it is called obsessing. In ADD wouldn't it be closely related to 'hyperfocusing?.

I do take an antidepressant (Lexapro) that has helped alot. This has helped to quiet my thoughts and get me 'unstuck' when I've obsessed about something.

I hope things go well for you.
Take care,

I just had the worst day of my life. It's after two a.m. My boyfriend and I got picked up right outside his house for probably no seat belts. But the officer didn't specify just hauled my boyfriend off. I worked all day and my job is complete horse do do. I also took my last final today. Anyways my boy just wanted to take me out for a bloody mary after work and he got pulled over. The officer told me he'd be home tonight and turns out after sitting up waiting for an hour that he has to spend the night in detox. Probably because of his attitude. I have no one to call and vent to so here I am. Anyways he didn't do anything wrong and the cops were complete jerk offs. I told 'em to **** off before I went in the house. I hope they are happy eating their donuts because they were all up sitting at the local super market when my boyfriends roomate brought me home after waiting up an hour for his stupid ***.

I think I have ODD. Along with my ADD. Just to make my previous post relevant.

I grind my teeth at night too but since I started taking Adderal and Lexapro I think I have stopped (my jaw does not feel tight in the morning like it used to) I remember when I was undiagnosed being asked by my dentist why I was so uptight all of the time. I tried to explain by asking him how he felt the very first time he did some dental work. He told me how nervous he was. I told him that is the way everyday is with me but it is just regular life. Back then no one knew that adults could even have ADD or ADHD and so I was not diagnosed till this year. I am relieved that I finally have a diagnosis. I know that I am intelligent but I was not able to channel it in school because of the lack of diagnosis and my brother had much more extensive learning disorders due to an accident.

Does anyone else here have big issues with stress and anxiety. I can't seem to calm down - I even grind my teeth at night while I am sleeping. I don't lead a particularly stressful life. Though I am married, I don't have any children. We just built a house - all the house stuff is really getting to me. I think it is the "keeping up with the Jones's" thing - I want everyone in the neighborhood to think I am a good as they are - so when things aren't getting done (ie - the yard) when I think they should be, I just wig out - and I don't feel any better until it is all done. Of course, my husband doesn't worry about these things at all - which I think stresses me even more! The other problem is that, once one thing is done, I find something new to stress out about! Ugh! Help!

Diane:eek:
Yep -- that sounds familiar! I have generalized anxiety, occasionally I've had panic attacks, I had to get a mouth guard so that I didn't grind my teeth totally flat. I don't have to have a reason to be anxious, in fact if nothing is going on I get especially anxious sometimes. I have to have distraction to keep the anxiety down. From what I've read anxiety is a very frequent companion of ADHD. Don't have much in the way of answers for you, but I sure can empathize!

Take care!
Scattered

id like to know what type of medication is usefull when having add and anxiety. i tried concerta,and felt like i was on speed. i tried straterra and couldnt stand it. it made me feel goofy. even caffeine makes me feel jittery. but it also can help the focus factor. i stress every day about what should i do? there is so many things to be done, how do i know where to start. i am married, 3 kids and a house to take care of. i dont even go to work. sometimes i think i should go to work to help out financially but then i think.....hmmm. i cant even get my stuff done in my house, how can i take on another responsibility. i hardly ever play with my kids, cuz theres always something that needs to be done. and im not talking perfectionism here. im talking ..... keeping my house simply desent would be nice. friends and family think im lazy cuz my house looks like its never cleaned.. from your very frustrated adder. oh...one more thing. the worst time for me is during p.m.s. any others out there?????

I Was Just Put On Adderal And Was Already On Lexapro. I Stopped Taking My Lexapro A Few Days Ago And Know I'm Starting To Feel Like I Did Before -down And Out- And Soooo Unorganized. My House Is A Mess And I Don't Know Where To Start. Then I Get All Frustrated. I Also Have Three Kids And Feel Guilty When I Don't Do Anything With Them.
When I Read What You Wrote It Sounded So Much Like Me I Had To Register Just So I Could Tell You You're Not Alone. I Think I Better Get Back On The Lexapro Too. Just Thought I Would Try To Go Without It Cause The Adderal Was Making Me Feel Full Of Energy And So I Figured I Didn't Need It (wrong)..... Good Luck.

Hi, I too have anxiety and I think I have add, as 2 of my sons have it. I thought I would talk to my dr. about it and he agreed to try medication. About 5 years ago I started zoloft for anxiety and pms. I could not get anything done at home and I felt like I was wading through mud all the time. The zoloft helped with the anxiety and pms. About 3 months ago I started to take 30 mg of metadate (ritalin). My brain feels 20 years younger. I don't have the brain fog and headaches I had everyday. Both of my boys are on antianxiety meds and straterra. They are doing well on these. My mother had mega anxiety and I believe undiagnosed OCD. With the right combination of meds your life will seem manageable and enjoyable. Good luck.

id like to know what type of medication is usefull when having add and anxiety. i tried concerta,and felt like i was on speed. i tried straterra and couldnt stand it. it made me feel goofy. even caffeine makes me feel jittery. but it also can help the focus factor. i stress every day about what should i do? there is so many things to be done, how do i know where to start. i am married, 3 kids and a house to take care of. i dont even go to work. sometimes i think i should go to work to help out financially but then i think.....hmmm. i cant even get my stuff done in my house, how can i take on another responsibility. i hardly ever play with my kids, cuz theres always something that needs to be done. and im not talking perfectionism here. im talking ..... keeping my house simply desent would be nice. friends and family think im lazy cuz my house looks like its never cleaned.. from your very frustrated adder. oh...one more thing. the worst time for me is during p.m.s. any others out there?????
I haven't tried any medication yet -- thinking about it and talked to doctor the other day, but absolutely everything else I could have written (but I only have 2 kids), don't work outside the home and still have a messy/dirty house, not playing with kids nearly enough and house still isn't decent, and PMS (whoa!)

If anyone finds the wonder drug for helping get on top of this, plus depression and anxiety, I'd sure love to hear about it.

Scattered

It is so anxiety provoking to put off cleaning for later all the time. I don't like doing dishes so I put it off. I feel blocked. I resist from doing them. I wait and wait until I end up feeling bad about myself. that's when I do it. It's like that with a lot of things. I avoid unpleasant tasks. I feel like I don't even know how to start them. I try to break things down for myself and I tell myself I will only do them for five minutes just so I can start. It works but it's hard. I always feel like there is something else controlling my will. This makes my anxiety worse. Some times it helps to call some one to get me to do unpleasant tasks. The problem is that some times I can't pay attention to two things at a time and people on the phone feel I'm not really listening.