The door just shut on my 8 year old's heel and tore some of the skin off; there are a few drops of blood. He is rolling around and screaming for a band-aid like his foot is hanging by a thread. This has been going out for a full 5 minutes, (I brought him a band-aid and sprayed bactine on it)
This over the top response is a typical for ANY injury, my question is what gives? Could he really have an incredibly low pain threshold? This has never come up in my parenting books.
The drama thing has never been rewarded so I have not created a monster.
And most importantly, what is going to happen when he really gets hurt and needs a few stitches?

In the past, when my adhd son got hurt (he's 12 now), if he was busy playing, he brushed it off and just kept going. I always said that if he had any broken bones, I probley wouldn't even know because usually he didn't complain. He would have a super bad red yucky sore throat before he even brought it to my attention. Or he'd have a totally infected tooth that had to be painful before I'd know about it.

But....

If it had been a long day and he was in one of those "moods", he could rant and rave about the little booboo and it could go on for a while.

It's kind of like he just needed to release some energy/frustration/feelings, whatever and getting hurt (even if only minor) was the icing to the cake.

I hope I am explaining this right.

If it just happened to your son, it's around 700pm, it's probley super hot out, he may have had a bad day or a long day, maybe he just needs a little special attention or time alone.

If he's anything like my son, he gets his share of negative attention due to adhd behavior issues. He may need a little tender lovin care. Boy, that sounds nice doesn't it? Maybe I will go close the door on my heel and see if anyone in this house cares. :)

Hope this helps...

VickiS, been there and he grew up to be a very compassionate, well-adjusted man. It is a well known fact that ADDers may have sensory and heightened response issues. Until we can hook someone up to a pain meter, I would err on the side of caution and assume that if someone says it hurts, it hurts. :)

I have often quipped in ADHD chat that ADD stands for Attention Dramatic disorder. Your observations ring true, I observe this in ADHD kids every day.

I think this is pretty common practice in humans....not just kids....and not just ADHD kids.

I think we, humans, express ourselves with a lot of drama so we will be heard. It's not about the actual event or the level of pain. There is usually something else going on and the event or instance triggers the drama.

I think it's quite normal for a kid to have a 5 minute drama session after getting hurt. Just like it's normal for a newborn to cry when they want something but can't speak.
Kids are trying to learn how to process their emotions. Let them have their drama. Do your duty as a parent and make sure there are no broken bones, that the bleeding stops, and the blunt object is removed.

Then ignore them until the drama is gone.
Every second of attention of any sort that you give them during the drama IS actually rewarding them for the behavior.

Just be OK with the drama.... eventually it goes away.

Of course, sometimes it only moves into its own house, gets married and has its own little nest of drama kings/queens! :D

Boy do I agree with the drama part.

As I mentioned in my first post, my son has a very high tolerance for pain if he's doing something he enjoys and doesn't want to stop what he is engaged in. But at other times, watch out, the emotions come pouring out. He over reacts to everything. Whether he's happy, sad, or upset.

Just last night he couldn't find his $5 bill and he had a fit. He tore apart his room. Things were flying while he was trying to find it. He was very accusative toward everyone.

He then came and flopped his butt on the couch and started pouting, stomping, etc. We got to the point that my husband was just about ready to give him another $5 because my husband had picked up my sons shorts earlier to wear the belt that he had on them. Supposedly the $5 was in those shorts so my husband felt guilty that perhaps the money fell out or something.

All of a sudden, my son sat straight up on the couch and said "Oh yea. I remember where it's at". He then put his hand down in the couch cushion that he was sitting on and pulled out the $5 that he had put there earlier. :(

He then got extremely off the chart happy and overly apologetic to everyone. Hugs, kisses, I love you's, I'm sorry's....the whole nine yards. This goes on daily. Extreme everything. He's the "Drama Boy" in our house.

My add husband is the same way. Whenever anything happens, "The WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD is out to get him." He's the Drama King in our house.

And my adhd daughter is also this way. If I won't let her go somewhere that EVERYBODY is going, she is so radical when it comes to pouting. EVERYBODY is going. EVERYBODY'S PARENTS let them. HER WHOLE SUMMER is ruined. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. She's the Drama Queen in our house.

Don't they realize that with me being adhd, I don't focus on alot of things, especially that kind of stuff. If I am PMSing, it drives me nuts. But otherwise, I just laugh about it all inside, chalk it up to add/adhd extreme emotions, and move on.

I know what you are thinking....and yes, I am the same way sometimes.

What FightingBoredom mentioned "Of course, sometimes it only moves into its own house, gets married and has its own little nest of drama kings/queens"....that is soooooooooooo true. I AM THE DRAMA MAMA!

*howls with laughter* I'm sorry its only funny in the context that we just had this very disturbing display last night when Koda misplaced his wallet and accused his father of stealing all his money...the whole 22 cents...as if!!!!

He finally remembered that he hid it on the top shelf of his closet, behind new school jeans reminding him that he's mad at me for not allowing him to wear them until the start of the school year which reminded him that he has a new pair of shoes in my closet that I won't let him wear yet either.

Its so infuriating at times that all you can do is laugh at the absurdity.

That is totally hilarious. Totally strange. Totally typical. And totally believable. TOO TOO FUNNY. :)

Thank you!
I am mature enough to realize that the problem is mostly mine. The drama baby stuff, giving up and not being willing to even try are my 2 deep down secret hot buttons These buttons are darker than normal buttons like backtalk or lying, if anyone knows what I mean.

I feel so ugly about it. I get angry (inside) and I have such a hard time showing empathy because as fightingboredom said I am afraid of rewarding the behavior On the other hand my own youth was so twisted with all of the conditions that my parents put on their love I am afraid I am doing the same by withholding the attention he is demanding because I do not approve of the behavior...

Sigh... I do feel better though thanks!

Mature???? mature???? if you have a secret to being more mature in the middle of a temper tantrum please share cause the way I look at it; its an awful lot like trying to play chicken with a train. :faint:

Thank you!
I am mature enough to realize that the problem is mostly mine. The drama baby stuff, giving up and not being willing to even try are my 2 deep down secret hot buttons These buttons are darker than normal buttons like backtalk or lying, if anyone knows what I mean.

I feel so ugly about it. I get angry (inside) and I have such a hard time showing empathy because as fightingboredom said I am afraid of rewarding the behavior On the other hand my own youth was so twisted with all of the conditions that my parents put on their love I am afraid I am doing the same by withholding the attention he is demanding because I do not approve of the behavior...

Sigh... I do feel better though thanks!

VickiS, I bet you have unconditional love for your kids.
I bet they even know that you do. I think this is one of the hardest things to work out as a parent; ignoring your child at a time when they are expressing(DRAMA) hurt or pain.

How do I say this? Hmmm....Since you took care of whatever the injury was you are expressing empathy and concern for their immediate welfare. Now, when you ignore the post injury drama you are showing empathy and concern for their welfare AS AN ADULT.

So, every time you do it just stay calm, even inside, and just remind yourself that you are teaching them how to react to life when they are adults.....if you keep that focus you will find it easier to deal with. (I know I just said to "keep focus" on an ADD forum...Sorry, I thought for a second that I was on the Tony Robbins site :D)

I love you guys.......

I actually plopped a paper crown from Burger King on my son's head one day and told him if he was going to be such a drama king he'd better have a crown!

We get wide mood swings sometimes on the Adderall, and they can lead to major drama. I've also noticed that he doesn't have as much control over his emotions as you would expect a boy his age to have. Everything comes faster and more intensely. Laughter, tears, joy, fear...all of it.

The slightest injustice sets of extreme, almost speechless outrage. The memory of the loss of a pet 4 years previous can set off tears tonight. A smile and friendly comment from a stranger in the grocery store gets the stranger a glorious smile and tight hug I'd expect to be reserved for favorite people like grandma. A harmless comment from someone can lead to a sleepless night of anxiety and fear.

It's hard for me to know how much of that is ADHD, medication, or developmental issues.

It has been said that young ADDers wear their hearts on their sleeves.

My 12 year old son tries to act tough and grown up. He too gets very emotional (as does my add husband. You would never know by looking at him though) :)

The other night my son went over to my moms house to play a board game (That I don't do because I hate board games and learned that this is a very common adhd symptom so I feel better now. Thank you.)

Anyway, when we went to pick him up later on, we were all standing outside and my mom told me that they were talking about his going to college and she said that he had started crying because he didn't want to leave us. Even when we were discussing college again, he got very teary eyed and hugged both my husband and I and said he didn't want to leave us.

My mom told him that there are several community colleges nearby and he would be able to stay living at home. He was so happy to hear this. Me? Don't ask.... :)

It has been my experience that some add/adhders feel emotions more than others. In other cases though, it's the opposite.

An example would be my father-in-laws funeral in February. I have been married for 15 years and have known him for 17 years. My daughter is 14 and has known him that long. When he died though, neither my daughter nor I shed a tear. Her friend that went to the funeral with us actually had tears and she didn't even know him. My daughter commented to me that she didn't cry and was actually trying to. I couldn't really explain it either. I was sad he died. He was pretty old and had been sick for several years. To me, he was in a happier place and was no longer sick. Maybe that is why I didn't cry. I have cried at other funerals. Who knows? Everybody is different.

When my son is sorry for doing something, HE IS REALLLLLLLY SORRY.

P.S. Not to worry that I didn't cry. Trust me, I do cry. Especially during my PMS week when I am totally stressed out and get upset.

It's not just ADHD kids, I'm guilty as well.

I can't count the number of times I have been to the emergency room after doctor's hours because my ADD boys have convinced me they are broken and bruised or dying.

My other two, carry on a lot also after minor injury.....so it's a regular kid thing to do....or maybe learned behavior from the others? Don't know.

But we have plenty of drama in our family. Coming by it honestly.....my husband is in the theatre and music industry.

I've been known to create my own drama as well.... it's the adhd.....and if that's the ticket..............Im so glad!

Because we create quite a performance! :D


~gourmet~

Oh my, yes, my kids are dramatic with the booboos! My favorite scenario goes like this, "MOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM! I have a splinter (scrape, cut, blister, etc.) See! Right there! Make it stop hurting! DON'T TOUCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And, all of this while howling, crying, rolling around, gripping the afflicted limb and generally behaving hysterically. :eek:

I, personally, handle it very abruptly. I give them a choice - either they can calm down and I will help them as much as I can or they can just suffer, period, end of sentence. Usually, they calm down enough to let me clean up the booboo and put a bandaid on, but there have been times that I have had to hold them down to take a good look at particularly nasty hurts to determine whether a trip to the ER is really necessary.

I think the drama is just normal kid behavior. I try not to give it too much attention because, frankly, I have low tolerance for that kind of behavior. That's not to say that I can't get dramatic. I get frantic when I lose important stuff or if I am running late (as usual these are often) and I do put unearned blame on others. I really hate this about myself and I, too, am extremely apologetic after the fact. With pain and illness I am stoic, but not my dear husband who could give any little kid a run for his money in the drama department! It's my belief that every person, adult or child, has their own area where the drama seems to flow, and isn't life a little more exciting (heehee - such a nice euphemism for other not so nice feelings) because of it!

My almost 14yr old daughter highly ADHD has horrible meltdowns around her period, when she scratches herself, trips, loses something, you name it she melts down. We have a song we made up when she was lil to ease it up some "Faker Faker Drama Maker", we would sing it and suddenly she would laugh and it would all be over. Man how I wish it still worked. (It does work with my 3yr old).

For 2 yrs I've been a practitioner of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and have taught her how to use it. When she is highly emotional we Tap on her upset and it usually goes away within minutes.

Trying to reason with them doesn't work, trying to show them they are overreacting doesn't work, trying to calm them down with normal means makes it worst, but THANK GOD the EFT works, saved many a night of screaming.

www.bernadettesvision.com/eft.htm (http://www.bernadettesvision.com/eft.htm) its easy to learn and works on emotional, physical and traumatic issues.

Oh my gosh, I can TOTALLY relate. My 9 year old, who is ADHD is so like this. If he gets a cut, and it bleeds, it's like the end of the world. He is really sensitive to sensory things. With having ADHD, he is very hyperactive and impulsive, and inattentive, which causes him to get hurt easily.