Kicking your own butt
God helping those who help themselves
It's not gonna get itself done

How the HELL do I get myself into the fast track, hyperfocusing, getting things done, being the me I know I can be?

I spend so much of my life in the slow lane, watching people zoom by...

Any of you have any tips on this? Do you think it is just a matter of willpower? Do you think it will help if/when I go on an ADD medication?

I am making myself miserable sitting here being a mouse potato... but every time I try to get going on a project, all the wind goes right out of my sails and I get paralysis of the will and I literally feel sick if I try to force myself to proceed...

The project I am most concerned about is my writing... and the only times I have ever produced writing I love is when I was in a good mood, hyperfocused, fast tracking... I was inspired... it just flowed out of mind into the computer, almost like I wasn't even participating, just copying down words someone was dictating to me.

These days I sit in front of a blank page or a couple of paragraphs and force out words one by one, and the end result is just crap, garbage, no value.

Dr. Amen says that when most ADDers try to focus, the part of the brain they are supposed to be using actually shuts down, and the harder you try, the worse things get. This seems to fit with what I am experiencing... but in the past I HAVE had bursts of success, wild creative out of left field moments... how do I psych myself into that mindspace instead of the "I'm sitting in a final exam and have to write an essay I don't want to write" mindspace?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :mad: :mad: :mad:

Paul: During the 18 months when I was in school....(got back to Florida about 2 months ago.....I ran into a lot of this.....I was FORCED to study for exams I did not want to study for.....FORCED to write papers I did not want to write.....FORCED to do group projects with people I did not want to do group projects with....:(

and the WORST....the case study I had to complete....which actually I used the peer forums here which helped immensely....where it's YOUR forum alone....the focus is on YOU only....and the members here help prod you along by giving you feedback....that's one suggestion I have.....:)

the ONLY other thing that has ever helped keep me on tract...and helped me to graduate.....and the only other thing I can suggest to you.....

(yes besides taking meds....that might help you)

.....is actually having friends, wife, ANYONE, albeit, PEOPLE....WITH YOU.....while you're actually doing the writing.....they will stick with you while you are stuck...and just be with you....while you get UNstuck....call them babysitters....doesn't matter....I needed my peers with me in the library while I actually did my studying or papers....OR.....

it didn't get done....simple as that.......they made me what's called.....accountable.....

I remember this one friend, Lilli, 15 years younger than....and I thought how could this young thing help me????? just by being WITH me in the library??.....but she did.....while she was doing HER work.....I did mine.....our mutual focussed energy....TOGETHER.....helped us to support each other.....

Neither of us could study alone.....but together both of us could.....

Paul you might not be able to do your writing alone.....People in your life.....supportive people who really want you to do your writing and be successful....may be what's necessary....and it may be up to YOU to enlist those people......however that might work.......

Ask your wife to sit with you for two hours every day.....she does her own "reading and writing" while you do yours...and neither of you can "move" until yours is done.....If not....perhaps you can find a "writing group" in your community....where you all get together for no other reason than to support each other's writing.....but I know that paralysis of the will.....I invented the concept along with you.....:) and I don't think it can be conquered alone......People, other people, who care about you....in your life....with you....while you write...and won't let you quit....until a certain amount of writing is done....an amount of which you pre-determine.....every day.....or however often you write.....like two pages every other day......(whatever it is for you)......until your book is done......

is what I believe is needed.....there's something neat/special/different about having people that care about you and that you care about -- with you while trying to do work that is importnat to you....while you come up with ideas for your writing....

yes the pills will help....but you likely may need much more......and they must be supportive people.....not people who will enable paralysis of the will.....but people who will say Paul get your butt in gear....we have a writing appointment at such and such a time...and it's as important as um.....your taking your next breath.....because for YOU.....it is......stagnancy sounds like it's really wrecking all of your happiness......

THEN -- when you do get some inspiration and some good writing done....what happens is these people who have been there for you -- cheer you on.....celebrate your victory with you....

in other words, through it all, you're not so alone in it all.....some of the pressure goes off of you and onto some others and inspiration comes more easily.....

Thank you for that.

There is a lot for me to consider there, and a lot of it rings true with the success I have had in the past.

Paul: In an airplane this morning, thousands of feet up in the air....a few more thoughts came to me....:)

In your journal continue to let us know regularly your progress with writing....even if you only write five words....I think when you were actually sharing your progress with us it was a good thing....helpful for YOU?? and perhaps helped someone HERE who needs inspiration to do THEIR own writing:)

REWARDS.....for writing done....For example for every two pages, you get to take your wife out to dinner....ok too expensive? Make it take - out:)....but no, SOMETHING in the form of a reward to keep the motivation going.....even a new pen or highlighter or CD, etc...:)

LOL taking the wife out to dinner would be a fine reward for her... :D

And I SHOULD be writing five to ten pages a night!

But I thought when you're a married couple when anything is HER reward it's YOUR reward too!!! Isn't that right???

Five to ten pages per night?? How about starting with three to five and work up to five to ten?:) (remember the slogan progress not perfection).....:)

Joan, I used to feel that way until I realized that it was not a reciprocal emotion... things that please me do not please her as well, and she does not go out of her way to please me...

Correction: That is totally unfair of me. She has really been trying hard lately to be good to me, and succeeding a lot.

I know that's true Paul....you can sort of tell from many of your other posts where you often mention positive things about her:)

And I'm glad to hear it.....and it's cool that you acknowledge and appreciate her efforts....:)

Okay, gonna go play Scrabble with my dad...wish me luck...he and I haven't played together in years...and we're both fanatics....:D

Of the things I have read; and looking back at my past....I have been the the most CONSISTENT in my production when I am being positively supported.

Apparently; with ADD our reward mechanism is poor and as such self motivation is difficult as we know the end result wont give us a reward factor.

However; if there are partners;friends who can provide you with the moral support; your reward system identifies the likelyhood of the external reward; and can therefore be productive.

Ever in a school race or anything where people were cheering you on...Didn't you ever notice you seemed to be able to get just that little more energy??

Sleepz

Originally posted by sleepzalot
Of the things I have read; and looking back at my past....I have been the the most CONSISTENT in my production when I am being positively supported.

Apparently; with ADD our reward mechanism is poor and as such self motivation is difficult as we know the end result wont give us a reward factor.

However; if there are partners;friends who can provide you with the moral support; your reward system identifies the likelyhood of the external reward; and can therefore be productive.

This is totally true for me! I have "support buddied" up with a girl friend from church who is also an ADDer. We even wrote out a plan with goals and how we can help each other in specific ways. I'll admit, we're still working out kinks (coordinating schedules, following up/accountability), but it's been one of the greatest things for me. It just feels good having someone who understands me asking how my plans for a career change are going and encouraging me.

My mother also supports me as much as she can, and of course the fellow members of the ADDA-SR Adult Support group are good to have around. This past Monday (9/15) was a GREAT meeting--made some awesome contacts! The speaker Monday evening was Dr. Lisa Routh, co-author of Healing Anxiety and Depression (with Dr. Amen), and she also had a role in getting out Dr. Amen's book, Healing ADD. She's at UTMB Galveston now, and there are plans to start another SPECT scan clinic (or something like that) in Houston. I spoke with her briefly about my career aspirations and asked if she could see any possibility of me working at the clinic (in whatever capacity). She was open to the idea, and asked me to send her my resume. AND, I was asked by another support group facilitator to speak/present to her group in either January of February. :cool:

So.... to herd my thoughts back to ADD and supportive people and needing instant rewards to keep us motivated.....I'm finding that the more I force myself to contact my buddy/reach out for support and encouragement (and therefore receive it!), accept more responsibilities in connection with running the ADDult group, and (this is the BIGGIE) follow up on the ideas and leads I'm receiving, my motivation seems to last longer (and return sooner when it does go on hiatus), and despondency over my career situation seems to stay further away. It's not always a breeze...I'm really good at "hiding" away when the leads and possibilities seem to fizzle...but thankfully, something or someone will be placed in front of me, and I'm back on track! :)

There is no substitute for reality, in my opinion. Support had vs. support missing is not everything, but enough. Also, live your inspiration. druggery is not a life style choice open to ADHD. Learn. Drugery can't be beaten into or out of you.

Mental note (Actually, better write it down), get support buddy network going.

I wonder if the reason it works is that to an extent, you are no longer doing something just for yourself? A problem shared is a problem halved? Any being that we are happy to help other people without considering it a burden; then does that make the buddy system more likely to get twice as much done??

Smooch...please keep us informed about how you go; things that work and don't work...I can definately say I fell a hyperfocus coming on!!

Sleepz

So there ya go Paul....and we here at forums will positively support you as well....just let us know how we can do this....:)