Ohhhhhh.....this is so bad.

I have a friend who recently had a new baby. While she was in the hospital her husband took her an electric can opener.............because they were on sale.

Not flowers.

That is so bad.



~gourmet~

Sorry guys. Just thought you might want to know.

Wait, you're suppose to receive gifts after having kids? Where was my memo on this?

A can opener is a "practical" gift i guess. Goes well with all the years she has ahead of her of opening a can of whoop a**...nm (that was stretching it, even for me).

I was just happy to come home with my "gift", I didn't need anything else. Just to have your partner there supporting you and sharing in the wonderous moment is enough...the rest are just bells and whistles. Who knows what he was thinking when he decided on the can opener....they needed one, it's a "joke" she just doesn't get yet, or that since she likes things on sale, she'd be proud? <shrugs> I guess she should just take it with a grain of salt and be just be happy :)

Not to mention that it is a FREE can opener... :p


Me :D

Wait, you're suppose to receive gifts after having kids? Where was my memo on this?

A can opener is a "practical" gift i guess. Goes well with all the years she has ahead of her of opening a can of whoop a**...nm (that was stretching it, even for me).

I was just happy to come home with my "gift", I didn't need anything else. Just to have your partner there supporting you and sharing in the wonderous moment is enough...the rest are just bells and whistles. Who knows what he was thinking when he decided on the can opener....they needed one, it's a "joke" she just doesn't get yet, or that since she likes things on sale, she'd be proud? <shrugs> I guess she should just take it with a grain of salt and be just be happy :)

Good GOD!

I hope she didn't have a ceasarian. My wife would have opened my skull and fed the bits to the pigeons in the park.

I don't think I got my wife anything. Although I did check out a new set of wrenches....








Uh, not to say that us boys are all alike...

:rolleyes:

HA HA HA!!....I'm a woman and I wouldn't expect any gifts from any guys at any time...hehehehehe

Well did he at least bring her a can to open. LOL giving a can opener without a can is like giving a kid a toy without batteries --- It's just cruel :D

That man must be McGuyver and the A-team in one.

Likes gadgets... Lives very very dangerously!

HA HA HA!!....I'm a woman and I wouldn't expect any gifts from any guys at any time...hehehehehe

Smart women ;)

Ohhhhhh.....this is so bad.

I have a friend who recently had a new baby. While she was in the hospital her husband took her an electric can opener.............because they were on sale.

Not flowers.

That is so bad.



~gourmet~

Sorry guys. Just thought you might want to know.

I guess that's same as getting a .50 choc. bar for your 40th birthday :mad:

I've learned not to expect gifts that way I'm not upset, right or wrong that's how it is for me

"I don't think I got my wife anything."
~quote motorbrain

"I was just happy to come home with my "gift", I didn't need anything else."
~quote Andi

To me it would be better to have gotten nothing...rather than a can opener :)

You are right Andi....the gift is the baby.......and her husband gave her that first.

But I still think the can opener was a bad move. :rolleyes:

~gourmet~

I think if you come right out and tell a man what you really want as a gift.
He is more then happy to go and get that.
No guess work for him and you get what you really wanted.:)

Oh Yeah and the two week count down to my birthday helps too.;)

But stori813.............how romantic........"excuse me, honey can you please go buy me flowers....I just gave birth". ......."and by the way...don't get a can opener".LOL

Since you were born two weeks ago, maybe we can all chip in together and pick out one in aztec gold for the special occasion. :D

Nothing says love like aztec gold. LOL


~gourmet~

That's so true Stori, Men are notoriously bad at taking hints :D.

How many times have you given a guy such obvious clues about what you wanted that you thought you were making it too obvious. Of course when the time comes and you end up disappointed the typical guy response is always you should have told me I'm not a mind reader.

Think we need to start teaching boys in grade school some basics about gift giving and girls.

Here's a very general cheat sheet for clueless guys:

Sporting goods, Appliances, Power Tools = Bad Gift Ideas

Jewlery, Flowers, Chocolate = Good Gift Ideas

Of course these things aren't tops on everyones list but even if the girl isn't realing into flowers or candy she'd still be a lot happier with that then a can opener :p

hmmmmmm.....not always :D I am very fond of the hand held electric sander I got for Christmas.


......but chocolate, flowers, and jewelry...... make it diamonds.
A girls best friend :D


~gourmet~

Exactly MafiaKiddo :) That's what I was talking about.
I have countless stories of my woman friends who have gotten bad gifts.
Then whined on and on about them.

That's so true Stori, Men are notoriously bad at taking hints :D.

How many times have you given a guy such obvious clues about what you wanted that you thought you were making it too obvious. Of course when the time comes and you end up disappointed the typical guy response is always you should have told me I'm not a mind reader.
If he didn't catch your "obvious" clues, then they weren't obvious.
Think we need to start teaching boys in grade school some basics about gift giving and girls.
I can just see how that would go.

"Boys, girls are demanding and cruel. Not only must you give them gifts constantly, but they won't tell you what they want. You have to pay attention all the time so you catch that one vague hint she drops right when you just saw the new plasma screen TV display.

"And forget about dropping your own hints. Her being with you is gift enough. And no, that doesn't work both ways. What, gender equality? Screw that, women rule the world."
Here's a very general cheat sheet for clueless guys:

Sporting goods, Appliances, Power Tools = Bad Gift Ideas

Jewlery, Flowers, Chocolate = Good Gift Ideas

Of course these things aren't tops on everyones list but even if the girl isn't realing into flowers or candy she'd still be a lot happier with that then a can opener :p
Or, in short, "don't get her something you would want."

Which is good sense. But the earlier stuff was just a tad over the top sexist.

Not that I'm dissing giving a girl flowers. I just resent the attitude that men are obligated to give women gifts semi-regularly just for the honor of being with them. Especially since the women who see it as obligatory also see little reason to give men the same kinds of gifts.

If you're not bringing your boyfriend/husband home power tools, sporting goods, and other gadgets he likes, you have no business demanding flowers and chocolates from him in return.

I got a white rose bush when we found out we were pregnant with our first.

A red rose bush after his birth.

I got a yellow rose bush when I said "yes"

I got a pink rose bush after Lexi's birth.

We planted a tree the day we buried Jacob.

My roses did not survive the move to our house when we bought it but the tree still stands in my mother's yard.

When Garrett was born money was extremely tight so I got a kiss and job well done honey. :D

This summer he replaced my damaged rose bushes plus I now have Babies breath planted among them. Its so cuteyful.

Not all men are bad at giving gifts. Doug knew I'd flip over cut flowers because they die but now bushes that keep giving and giving how could I possibly complain.

If he didn't catch your "obvious" clues, then they weren't obvious.

I can just see how that would go.

"Boys, girls are demanding and cruel. Not only must you give them gifts constantly, but they won't tell you what they want. You have to pay attention all the time so you catch that one vague hint she drops right when you just saw the new plasma screen TV display.

"And forget about dropping your own hints. Her being with you is gift enough. And no, that doesn't work both ways. What, gender equality? Screw that, women rule the world."

Or, in short, "don't get her something you would want."

Which is good sense. But the earlier stuff was just a tad over the top sexist.

Not that I'm dissing giving a girl flowers. I just resent the attitude that men are obligated to give women gifts semi-regularly just for the honor of being with them. Especially since the women who see it as obligatory also see little reason to give men the same kinds of gifts.

If you're not bringing your boyfriend/husband home power tools, sporting goods, and other gadgets he likes, you have no business demanding flowers and chocolates from him in return.
Ok, this wasn't a post about giving gifts in general, but about giving a gift to a woman who has just delivered a child. Alex, I gotta' tell you that they call it LABOR for a reason and it is very nice to receive something nice from your hubby after HOURS of PAIN and HARD A** WORK!!! Believe me when I say nothing a man will ever do could be equated to having a child. I know because I have had 3. If my husband had brought me a can opener I would have bashed him over the head with it, and I like practical useful gifts! I would rather receive something I can use over something pretty anyday. I am notoriously hard to buy for because I don't like jewelry, flowers or other frivolous stuff with the exception of chocolate.

I think the point is the gift was not appropriate to the situation. After giving birth women often feel worn out and put through the wringer. Not to mention their bodies are out of shape, beat up and bruised. Nothing says I love you, and thank you for bringing about such a beautiful miracle like a CAN OPENER -- NOT! Flowers are traditional and not very hard to screw up. When I had my first child we were very broke, but my hubby managed to buy me a pink carnation and wrote the sweetest note in a card. He was letting me know that he loved me, still thought I was beautiful and that I had done an amazing thing and given him an amazing gift in his daughter.

So Alex, it ain't always about the gift, but what that gift says to the person receiving it!!!!

Actually I'm one of the girls that would much rather get any of the gifts in the first grouping rather then the gifts in the second. But of course I am not like most girls so LOL writing my preferences wouldn't exactly be a good rough general guide.

And hell yeah I agree with the last statement everything is a two way street. But of course I would never even be friends with someone that demanded something for nothing so forget about being in a relationship with them.

LOL anyway it was supposed to be a joke (see all the smilie faces) Don't think I ever said anywhere that the girl is only supposed to get the gifts. :DIf you have to give someone gifts constantly I can't even begin to tell you how fast you should be running from that relationship.

I can quickly see this thread spiraling out of control. I do not believe that it was started out of malice towards men nor as a gender bashing tool. Please, refer to the forum guidelines before posting again and remember to treat each other with respect whether you agree or disagree with them. Thank you!!!

While I'm at it ladies lets think here for just a second. Were you the nicest person when you were pregnant? easy to live with? sexy? sexual? I wasn't no way no how. My husband survived along with me four pregnancies, he stayed up nights worrying that this pregnancy would kill me or our child, he buried a child with me, he listened to me complain about cravings, swollen feet, massaged those stinky swollen feet, not to mention my back, constant potty breaks without complaint, screaming, bad tempered crying jags for no reason he listened quietly and understandingly lets just say he took a lot of junk he was not deserving...what did I get him? NOTHING and I got rose bushes plus a miracle he'll never get to experiance.

My question is lol
What did you get your husband? :p

This is meant as a thinking tool, evening things out a little not as a gender bashing tool please do not take it that way.

All my hugs and kisses,
Cherity

Ok, this wasn't a post about giving gifts in general, but about giving a gift to a woman who has just delivered a child. Alex, I gotta' tell you that they call it LABOR for a reason and it is very nice to receive something nice from your hubby after HOURS of PAIN and HARD A** WORK!!! Believe me when I say nothing a man will ever do could be equated to having a child. I know because I have had 3. If my husband had brought me a can opener I would have bashed him over the head with it, and I like practical useful gifts! I would rather receive something I can use over something pretty anyday. I am notoriously hard to buy for because I don't like jewelry, flowers or other frivolous stuff with the exception of chocolate.

I think the point is the gift was not appropriate to the situation. After giving birth women often feel worn out and put through the wringer. Not to mention their bodies are out of shape, beat up and bruised. Nothing says I love you, and thank you for bringing about such a beautiful miracle like a CAN OPENER -- NOT! Flowers are traditional and not very hard to screw up. When I had my first child we were very broke, but my hubby managed to buy me a pink carnation and wrote the sweetest note in a card. He was letting me know that he loved me, still thought I was beautiful and that I had done an amazing thing and given him an amazing gift in his daughter.

So Alex, it ain't always about the gift, but what that gift says to the person receiving it!!!!

Oh, I know, I know.

I was making a general comment on something I saw underlying mafiakiddo's post. If your gal just went through labor, you owe her. Because you didn't. I was pushing for equality, and a woman having just carried your child, with all the drawbacks of being pregnant, and has just gone through labor, has gained more than a few points on the leaderboard, so to speak.


And I agree wholeheartedly that if you're going to give a gift, have the sense to give a good one. A bad gift is more insult than no gift at all.


However, I'll take issue with one statement you made; "Believe me when I say nothing a man will ever do could be equated to having a child. I know because I have had 3."

This isn't fair. For one, you have absolutely no basis for claiming that nothing a man can ever experience will be worse than labour. Because you're not a man, and therefore have absolutely no idea what men go through. And, for two, while there's nothing that's really comparable in the normal scheme of things, there's plenty of non-gender-based things that are much, much worse than childbirth. And a man can experience those just as easy as a woman. Just for an example; having all four wisdom teeth removed when Novocaine doesn't work on you, and the general anaesthetic is keeping you immobile but conscious, and just disconnected enough to be freaky, not enough to keep you from remembering like it's supposed to.

And that's not just some made-up event. That happened to me. And while it might have been over in an hour, where childbirth will be longer-term, I suspect it was worse while it lasted than childbirth. Because the general anaesthetic stripped away all my mental self-control, removing my ability to "just deal with it".


Anyway, back to my point; Mafiakiddo, if I seemed confrontational, I didn't intend it that way. I was just using your comments as a basis for a rant. And I'm not bashing women; just bashing at some stereotypical gender attitudes.

Did the woman who received the Can Opener have PPD?
And if so was Tom Cruise there with plenty of vitamins for her? :D
Just a Joke ;)

lmao Stori

We all have stereotypical issues we must work past. My husband still believes that only a woman knows how the master the art of laundry though we've overcome the dish issue and i'm still deathly afraid of the lawn mower. lol

Men have feelings and they should be able to validate them just as a woman I'll agree there 100 percent. My husband will disagree and finds it hard to share his feelings openly with me especially if they deal with hurt but he's coming around.

When my husband had his kidney stones I actually felt more sorry for him then I did myself during my hardest hours of labor. I at least got an epidural he got a measly pain pill that did NOTHING to control the torture. I took him home after he passed the stone and babied him for a week. But, alas still no flowers. I'm a bad bad bad wife.

Futs feel free to use my "reason" for not mowing the lawn.
I'm allergic to the law mower hehehe.
OW Kidney Stone I hear those are painful.
Get the guy a Rose Bush. :D
He can refer to it as his kidney stone roses.
:)

lol he does have his eye on a very expensive dark red (so dark it looks black) rose bush that he's been putting off buying for a special occasion. I feel its fitting and late is better then never.

Hey I forgot!

I searched around and got my wife the best bottle of Chateneuf De Pape I could find. And she got it after delivery.

I remember her saying "Gosh I'd like a glass of wine right now" 3-4 times when she was pregnant.

Then you've been redeemed :)

Can opener sounds good to me. I didn't have insurance when my son was born. I had a nice $5,000 bill to pay. At least I could've saved myself from all the blisters of opening the cheap canned food I had to eat because of the hospital bill with a manual opener if I would've got my wife an automatic opener and not whatever balloon/flower/teddybear rip off I bought in the hospital gift shop. Sounds like a practical guy already saving money for his families future.

Can opener sounds good to me. I didn't have insurance when my son was born. I had a nice $5,000 bill to pay. At least I could've saved myself from all the blisters of opening the cheap canned food I had to eat because of the hospital bill with a manual opener if I would've got my wife an automatic opener and not whatever balloon/flower/teddybear rip off I bought in the hospital gift shop. Sounds like a practical guy already saving money for his families future.
And here's where I flip myself around.

Obiwan, you're part of the problem. Women recieving gifts don't want it to be something useful for the future. They want it to be entirely about their pleasure and happiness. By all means, get your gal a can opener, but don't expect her to see it as some romantic gesture. To her, it's no different than you getting the groceries.


And there you go, the fundamental difference between men and women in our culture. Men feel good when they can do something useful, whether just for themselves or for others. Women feel good when they have something done just for them. This is why women will go to day spas because they enjoy the pampering, and guys won't unless they've been convinced they need something for some reason. And yes, I'm overgeneralizing. And yes, I'm talking more about gender roles in our society rather than inherent biological tendencies. There may be a connection, but I'm not about to claim as much.

Alex,

My post started out as more of a joke and moved towards practicality. I understand that women like gifts filled with pleasure and not practicality, especially in situation such as delivering a child. I get my wife flowers several times a year for no reason, and try to get her little fancy things here and there just because I love her. I have no problems buying short-lived, non-practical gifts for my wife as long as we have the money to do so. I was fresh out of HS when my son was born, working at McD's for $600 a month, living in an apartment, and saving every penny. I'm proud of the fact that I didn't have to take any gov. assistance during this, and I made due with the little I had. A can opened would have been at the top of my list as I really didn't have the money to buy my wife the balloon/flower/teddybear thing in the hospital giftshop, but I bought it anyway.

If you noticed, I put "A can opener sounds good to me." As a man, I would've rather had the can opener than flowers. I

I have to say as a woman I agree with Obi I mean if I need something which she may have very well needed a can opener we don't know for sure I'd much rather have a need then a want. But, then I'm very economical almost to the point of being anal I admit that openly.

There are times I think Gary and I have problems only to find it to be my perception.

Gary simply ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas. I rarely know at that point but as I begin to think about it I will provide a "list" of possibilities. That way I don't know exactly what I am getting, but he knows I will like it because it is on the list.

He on the other hand is totally hard I will ask him what he want for his birthday and he will always say "don't get me nothing" I don't need any thing. This leaves me like totally guessing!!!!

One years I got him a cordless drill for his birthday. Another year I had been very ill and had no money so I washed waxed and "detailed" his truck and hand made a card inside I wrote all the nice things about him I could think of!!! He had been "meaning" to get around to cleaning his truck but never had the time. I did noT want his birthday going by with him thinking I didn't care.

When we are short on cash that is how we often handle "gift giving" we DO special things for each other. When I wanted to surprize him with a clean truck I had to get up at dawn to start. It took me almost four hours to get his truck spotless. That four hours of my life can never be replaced. Gary is learning that to me time is a priceless comidity that money can never replace. He has learned to me a gift of spending quality time with me means more than going out and buying flowers or an expensive gift!!!



By the way giving women expensive jewlery has it's roots in the "dark ages" when women were not allowed to own properity or live stock. The only things a woman could "call her own" were "personal items" such as clothes, shoes and jewlery. A husband gave his wife expensive jewlery items as a means os "securing" her furture should some thing happen to him and their sons. See all properity and such was passed down to sons after the man passed away. The sons were to care for their mother but should some thing happen to them she would have the expensive jewlery to sell and have a means of supporeting herself!!!! Jewlery was also an item a mother could pass down to her daughters upon her death. This is why traditionally speaking women are given jewlery as a "meaningful" gift as it's possession was a means of a womans security!!!

Isn't it India where a woman's dowry is spent on jewelry?

While conversing with some fellow nurses one time on the night shift, one woman was a wife of a retired military officer and said a similar practice was practiced in Gwaum apx 12 years ago. She said the women there wore thier gold and "expensive" jewlery all the time they slept, ate, and bathed with it on and never took it off.

During a conversation with some of the women of Gwaum (through a translator of coarse) the women of that counrty wondered what she (my co-worker) would do if some thing happened to her husband sinse she owned very little gold jewlery. My co-worker said the concept of a husband passing down "his" assets to his wife was a forgien concept as was the fact she was educated and able to support herself nursing!!!!

So some of those concepts of long ago or far away have made their way even to our "civilized, modern" culture !!! Funny some concepts "stick" as well as travel!!! Like the women and expensive jewlery connection talked about here the "roots" are often never realized or even questioned!!!

Totally off subject here but my neice's husband is stationed in Guam and they are having the time of their lives even signed up for another tour there.

What a bonehead. ...the guy who gave his wife a can opener.

You know guys are notorious at coming off as 'simple minded' (to their significant other woman only), but man!, get a clue. Much better if he had given nothing. (Nothing but love and support, of course.)
"Happy birthing, honey! Where's that can of Enfamil? We can open these babies FAST now!"
:)

Guy's do have a reputation for giving the strangest things as gifts, this is why having a scense of humor is a woman best friend (the diamond thing is a myth for me they go sooo poorly with dirt, sweat,hammers, nails,t-shirts and jeans)

That is so true mead.

I rarely wear my wedding ring which has a large diamond with two smaller ones to each side. Instead I wear a heart shaped Black Hills gold ring he bought me for Christmas. He knows my running record with losing things so he doesn't complain.

Gary bought me a engangement ring with a pretty good size stones I only wear when we go out. He felt "rejected" at first because I didn't wear it all the time.

Okay I build things with hammers nails and wood. I have busted two silver rings working although diamonds may be one of the worlds strongest substance the little prong thingies that hold diamonds in the ring aren't :rolleyes:

Okay guys sense this is your forum and the original thread was about giving an inappropriate gift here is some "real suggestions" that may work.

#1 Gift cards, yea simple easy and you do not have to decide what she will want. However they offer variety. The gift card can be for a massage, facial, favorite store, on line shopping places (e-bay has these, that's what I'll probably get DH for his birthday)

#2 money although I will want you many girls find this unromantic. Best to know your gal here, other wise stick with #1!!!

#3 your time and attention. I would rather have Gary's time and willingness to have a conversation that does NOT involve tractor parts, bills, cars motors ect......

Our first mother’s day together Gary wanted to buy me some flowers on-line. He had an amount in mind but became over whelmed by confusion. He figured roses communicated love, but knew I liked plants that didn't die in a week but wasn't sure which ones would grow in our climate. :confused: :eyebrow: :faint: In frustration he finally asked me what I wanted.

Flowers, potted plants ect $30.00, a years membership to NCGI (national association of gender issues-women’s ADD support) $25.00. I opted for the year long membership, he saved five bucks and I got a gift that lasted a year. Added benefit this mother’s day he simply renewed membership, mother's day made easy next year!!!. The NCGI was how I learned about this site. I have been active here over a year.

SOooooooo if all else fails askyour female partner!!! :D If a woman doesn't see that you are doing all you can to please her with a gift then I would say that would be the woman’s problem :soapbox: meaning you'd be "off the hook"!!!!!

Oh. And I thought it was the cutest story.



Expectations, demands, communication, disappointments.
Practical/impractical. :confused:


Life is complicated. :eyebrow:

Baby makes three, guy gives girl electric can opener and they all live happily ever after.....:D


~gourmet~

When my wife (now ex-wife) ewas pregnant for our son she went into false labor at 8 months.
She ended up spending a few days in the hospital, and was so very tired and depressed about the whole situation.

Needing something to cheer her up, I went to the florist and bought a dozen baby red roses for her. The roses came with a very nice gilt card...

On the back of the card I worte... "Get the lead out... With Love, your hubby.."

that was 1974.. She still has that card...

Me :D

lmao Speedo,

I thought you were my age but then I find out you have a son only a year younger then me. Wait thats kinda upsetting--i'm aging faster then you, thats not right.

Yes, I decided to age at an inverse log rate ... so the older I get, the slower I get older.. :)

In a couple of years you will be older than me.... heck... I am only older than dirt. :p

Me :D

lmao Speedo,

I thought you were my age but then I find out you have a son only a year younger then me. Wait thats kinda upsetting--i'm aging faster then you, thats not right.

It also helps if you try to go at the speed of light.

should be easy for you, speedo!