Does anyone have trouble juggling college's workload and still wanting to have a life(social)? It seems like when I start a semester I want to make friends and stay in the world of the living but by the middle of the semester I get in a hyperfocus zone and tune the rest of the world out. After my freshman year was over, I realized a year just passed and nothing had happened in my life except for me going to college. It seems like everyone else manages to find a boyfriend,work,make many friends, and work part-time while maintaining a 3.8 GPA oh and being in several student organizations. I'm at the speed of a turtle crossing the road while everyone else seems to be the roadrunner flying past me with their "Mm-mmmep" However you spell it. Please help me Beam me up Scotty!

It's been awhile since I was in college, but as far as I can recall, very few people did everything. Like, maintaining a 3.8 gpa and being in student organizations was for future politicians who didn't work, and those of us with jobs tended to have friends and boyfriends who worked at the same place or were taking some of the same classes - otherwise we'd never get to see them! And the people with really active social lives were very often the C-students. Of course, I didn't realize that at the time, I felt as you feel - overwhelmed, and frustrated that everybody else seemed to have time I didn't.

It's very hard to see what people around you are achieving and feel small because you feel like you should be doing all that too. That said, I suggest you forget the student organizations, unless you feel really passionate about one (yes, one) of them. Limit social activities to one or two times a week, at least until you feel like your grades are where you want them to be - but be sure to maintain those activities mid-semester, when you find yourself starting to hyperfocus, just to be sure you keep one foot on the ground, so to speak. And only work if you have to - I had to, and it really does drag your attention away from the most important thing, which is getting an education.

HTH,
alala

I think that is a rather typical problem for college students in general. My solution was to declare Friday evenings to be my night out. I worked on my stuff on saturday, and usually rested on Sunday, or did a little research if I felt like it. So, every Friday, I simply stopped what I was doing at 5:00 PM and went out with friends. Mon-Thursday I was owned by academics 24 hours a day. My point is that you need to take some time to balance out your life. Study hard, but get out and socialize and play hard too. Also, If you have too many extracurricular activities maybe you need to get out from under some of them them. Stop volunteering for everything.

Me :D



Does anyone have trouble juggling college's workload and still wanting to have a life(social)? It seems like when I start a semester I want to make friends and stay in the world of the living but by the middle of the semester I get in a hyperfocus zone and tune the rest of the world out. After my freshman year was over, I realized a year just passed and nothing had happened in my life except for me going to college. It seems like everyone else manages to find a boyfriend,work,make many friends, and work part-time while maintaining a 3.8 GPA oh and being in several student organizations. I'm at the speed of a turtle crossing the road while everyone else seems to be the roadrunner flying past me with their "Mm-mmmep" However you spell it. Please help me Beam me up Scotty!

I work Monday-Friday 8:00-4:00, but usually either stay later or bring my work home with me. Saturday is family day, I spend it someway with my family, I don't touch school work. Sunday is cleaning the house, and doing lesson plans and school work. Speedo is right you gotta find time for yourself otherwise you'll burn yourself out.

Still Kicking-

I know that exact feeling. Usually about two weeks before finals I spend a day sobbing to that montra.

I have a boyfriend and a 3.4, but I 've been considering ditching him for a while now to work more for the GPA. I signed up for FaceBook and realized that I only have 6 friends at school after 3 years. I have wanted to join the bio club to meet people with similar interests, because the friends I do have are all history or political science majors. (I saw ampulae of lorenzini, they say "what'd you call me?").

I'm always wishing that I didn't have to do laundry, dishes, or sleep. Eating even seems to be a waste of time when I'm trying to study because I'll just be hungery again in a few hours. There just aren't enough hours in the day for those of us with ADD.

I find that my grades improve when I live without roomies, and take a quick break every now and then. The hard part is getting back to work from the break, but saves me the eye strain and from getting too burned out.
I think flash cards work really when you sort them by catagory and write everything out in colors acording to those catagories. Or you know how you're sometimes reminded of something totally different when you hear a word? Well, write that word on you flash cards too to job the memory. For example when I think of concertina locomotion of the western diamond back rattle snake I think of salsa dancing. I don't know why, but now when I'm trying to think of that word I think serpentine, rectelinear, side winding, and salsa dancing. Then, oh yeah, concertina.

HAHA you guys are cracking me up!!! not that it's funny, but I've been there, and am DOING that, lol... but hey, Happy Taxa 6 friends in 3 years! wow! I've been in school 3 years and have 0 friends to show... yup that's right, my friends are my one that lingers from high school and my fiance who I also met in high school.... hmmmm, talk about no social life in college, and I lived on campus for 2.5 years with roommates!!! Maybe I'm just antisocial I don't know? Maybe it's typical, but between working, school, homework and the second job I don't have time or energy to want friends.... accept I do (if you can figure that one out)

Last semester I had a day job, night classes, a Saturday class and a second job on Sunday, plus fit in time for the fiance, didn't leave time to "meet and greet"... but I manage a 3.8 gpa so I figure it's ok even though I mostly mope around alone because I don't have money to go out anyway, GRRRRRR sometimes being a college kid can be so hard, and ADD just adds to the ****ant of it all.... times like this just reassure me I'm not ready for real life yet....

Well, my 6 friends actually originated as my boyfriend's highschool friends.... I can't really claim more than two of them as my own. :faint:

I lived on campus two years, off one, and I don't talk to any of my old roomies. You live with people and just start to not like them.

it's tough i'm 26 back in school going full time since most of the courses i need is druning the morn and afternoon hardly at night or weekends so work if could find it in my feild would be tough since my classes are around the same time no way to workaournd it, it's a pain. I'm taking roughly 15-17 credit hours while getting 3.0 gpa's during the semsters it's worth dropping all the bs to a point. I hated school since as long as i could remeber when i was in hs all i did was bs that got me far.....:mad:

You have the rest your life for that datting working the harder you work at school the luckier you are my 0.02 for what's it worth :D

I had to stop taking classes, recently, due to my moving from Ohio to DC, within the next week.
I have about five classes left before I start law school. With working full time, and going to school full time, I know I'll have no life then.
But considering how much frustration I went through when I did have a 'life'...I'm not worrying about it now. Dating didn't do anything for me. As Alanis Morrisette says "I brought you...and all you brought me was 'down' ".
I know myself, and my goals, and what I have to do, and what I had to eliminate, that may have seemed to be important, once.
The way I look at it..I choose not to equate *anything*, to be higher up, as far as what I need to do, other than work and school, right now.
Suc*s...maybe...but it's better than my being 90 when I finally get my degree.
Just my thoughts
Nova

I had this exact problem in college. I manged to graduate summa cum laude, but I had to cut myself off from everybody to do it. I realize to some extent that all college students face this dilemma, but for someone with ADHD it is ever worse because it just takes so much longer to study. I had to spend 3 times as long reading a text as someone without ADHD.

I really wish I had some advice, but I don't. I'm going to be facing this problem again really soon because I'm about to start grad schoo.

Nova,
You really should stay in touch with people who care about you though. Obviously not much time for socializing but never get too busy to drop a quick line and keep those connections open. Youre moving to a stange new world where you dont know anyone, but you will have the forums and those of us who knew yee......

Does anyone have trouble juggling college's workload and still wanting to have a life(social)? It seems like when I start a semester I want to make friends and stay in the world of the living but by the middle of the semester I get in a hyperfocus zone and tune the rest of the world out. After my freshman year was over, I realized a year just passed and nothing had happened in my life except for me going to college. It seems like everyone else manages to find a boyfriend,work,make many friends, and work part-time while maintaining a 3.8 GPA oh and being in several student organizations. I'm at the speed of a turtle crossing the road while everyone else seems to be the roadrunner flying past me with their "Mm-mmmep" However you spell it. Please help me Beam me up Scotty!
The question is, what exactly is it that you do with all your time? Write down how you spend your time each day so you can pinpoint the problem areas. Then work from there.

There just aren't enough hours in the day for those of us with ADD.
That's something everybody says, not just people with ADD. That is not exclusively an ADD thing.

That's something everybody says, not just people with ADD. That is not exclusively an ADD thing.
why do you feel the need to cause trouble just wondering :soapbox:

Having a life is highly overrated. :)

I was married for most of college, so I had a ready-made social life, though.

My advice: Drink heavily
... Just kidding! Moderation in all things is key, including studying!

Doesn't this go along with the notion that a significant proportion of ADD kids/adults have a more difficult time finding/making friends than the "mundanes" AKA non-ADD people? Wouldn't behavioural strategies help you out with this?

I hope so, because I'm screwed otherwise.

why do you feel the need to cause trouble just wondering :soapbox:
Uh...I don't. I'm simply stating my opinion. Don't like, don't read.

Doesn't this go along with the notion that a significant proportion of ADD kids/adults have a more difficult time finding/making friends than the "mundanes" AKA non-ADD people? Wouldn't behavioural strategies help you out with this?

I hope so, because I'm screwed otherwise.
Behavioral strategies helped. One thing I notice looking back though, is that once I stopped thinking about making friends and just focused on other things, it drew people toward me. I think sometimes if you just be who you are, while at the same time keeping in mind how people might react to some of your ADD-related behaviors (and making concious effort to keep these things to a minimum), people will be drawn toward you naturally. I don't give a (expletive) what anyone thinks of me and why would I bother to care about someone's opinion if they've already made their mind up about me before getting to know me? That is, for the most part, how I look at making friends and I've been so much better off with that mindset.

Uh...I don't. I'm simply stating my opinion. Don't like, don't read.wasn't' sure it was one of those where i couldn't tell the expresson behind it:D

honey i used to curse my self and the man upstairs for not being able to "do it all" but thats our lives and you just have to do what you can do

no mortal human being can "do it all". because of ADD, you're forced to look at college from a different angle, just as a person with diabetes is forced to look at eating from a different angle. develop a lifestyle that works for you. that is all.

no mortal human being can "do it all". because of ADD, you're forced to look at college from a different angle, just as a person with diabetes is forced to look at eating from a different angle. develop a lifestyle that works for you. that is all.
Nicely Said :)

Suc*s...maybe...but it's better than my being 90 when I finally get my degree.
Nova

Nova, I don't know how old you are but you seem to have the wisdom of someone much older than a person who would be in their "college years." Before I read your post I was going to say that going to college IS having a life.

Now I've read it I think that it would be viewed by many who didn't complete the level they want as the way to having more of a life LATER in life. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Pushing through the frustration early in life to accomplish bigger and better things later in life I believe is called foresight.

I can tell you for sure that getting your college degree when you are young takes MUCH less energy and will power than when you're older. (I have no idea how old anyone is here....but I bet most are younger than I am.)

Doesn't this go along with the notion that a significant proportion of ADD kids/adults have a more difficult time finding/making friends than the "mundanes" AKA non-ADD people? Wouldn't behavioural strategies help you out with this?

I hope so, because I'm screwed otherwise.
Question: did you make up that mundanes aka non-ADD people phrase yourself, or did you hear/read someone else use that expression?

someone else was using it on this board. We kinda settled on it...I was using "normies", which I directly stole from a Family Guy episode. You know the one where Peter gets a bunch of plastic surgery and ends up looking like Fabio and joins the "beautiful peoples club" and they call all the "ugly" people "normies"? Ya, that one.

Mundanes came across to me as cute, fun, and generally kinda fun...I'd like to think that if there's one thing I'm not, mostly thanks to the ADD, it's mundane..lol

On a somewhat related to this thread topic, having to find a new place to live for this school year makes me realize how few friends I have....wait, I mean how I have NO friends that go to my school. It sucks. I wish I could do the whole "big house, bunch of people, fun times and good studying" thing. But I'm stuck with random roommates from hell.

someone else was using it on this board. We kinda settled on it...I was using "normies", which I directly stole from a Family Guy episode. You know the one where Peter gets a bunch of plastic surgery and ends up looking like Fabio and joins the "beautiful peoples club" and they call all the "ugly" people "normies"? Ya, that one.

Mundanes came across to me as cute, fun, and generally kinda fun...I'd like to think that if there's one thing I'm not, mostly thanks to the ADD, it's mundane..lol

On a somewhat related to this thread topic, having to find a new place to live for this school year makes me realize how few friends I have....wait, I mean how I have NO friends that go to my school. It sucks. I wish I could do the whole "big house, bunch of people, fun times and good studying" thing. But I'm stuck with random roommates from hell.
Okay, first of all, whoever initiated the referring to the general population as "mundane" needs to be slapped upside the head. Not all people without ADD are mundane. If someone is mundane, he or she is probably a jerk to begin with and ADD has nothing to do with it.

As for the "big house, bunch of people, fun times and good studying", I want you to honestly ask yourself: is that something you really, truly wanted to do? Or do you just wish you could be more like most people you see, who are doing the whole group house thing? Because, I used to think just like you and I did wish I could have a large group of friends and that we could all share a house and it would be in the movies, you know the ones where you always see college kids having a good time, etc. But then I realized, that is just not me. I'd rather have a few close friends than a huge circle of acquaintances. Also, I used to be in a sorority, and so I know from firsthand experience that the whole thing is mostly a facade. It's more drama and BS than good times, and if you get to caught up in it, that can be bad, especially for someone with ADD. Personally, trying to study in a crowded house is not good studying. But then some people need that group support. But even then, you all would have to be taking the same classes.

I used to feel bad about myself when I'd feel like I wasn't doing what the 'typical' college student should be doing. But here's the thing: if I did what 'typical' college students do, I wouldn't be happy. At all. Right now, I don't have a buzzing social life - and I don't want one, either. Here's my life: I go to my classes, I work, I talk to people I see on a semi-regular to regular basis. The whole party/social scene gets old after a couple years. People who appear to have 'lives' go out to bars with their friends and drink. Woopdee. I used to do that, but after two years of it, I hate it. It's pointless, stupid, and boring. I can't drink on Adderall anyway.

That's my side of the story, if you're on the same page. I'm not sure if you genuinely want lots of friends and all that other crap, or if you're like I was, where you just wanted all that because you felt like you had something wrong with you for not being that way naturally. Make sense?

hmm ihave this same problem. except i also get my boyfriend and his mum telling me "you have to go out though, you need to socialise, you need time to relax, you will burn out".

the thing is, going out with people isnt the number 1 thing for me. i dont find going out to be relaxing. if my whole day was study, part time work, going out at night until late, and having to get up the next morning.... that would be VERY stressful for me. i relax on my own. if i dont get the time by myself i get too wound up and stressed.

i dont remember what my original point is, but the whole thing is... for me, i still dont know what i do with my time anyway, buyt i've NEVER done the entire quota of work expected of me (all readings, all exercises, revision etc) - i still do ok. score isnt counted by a gpa at my uni (i dont know in australia at all???) but i'm getting good marks - credits and distinctions mainly, but ive have one high distinction and one pass (i dont know where the pass came from, but it disappointed me). anyway - i dont know where the time goes. i dont seem to do anything, and yet i feel incredibly busy and wound up and stressed all the time - ALL THE TIME.

and people make stupid comments, someone said to me the other day 'wow youre so calm' and i said to them "no i just appear calm...". other people tell me 'wow youre so organized,' - i dont kow where they think that from. all the know is what i tell them and all i tell them is the truth, but if they actually WATCHED what i do and how i do it, they definately wouldbe calling me organized.

but still, i dont have really any friends here. i've only been here for 1.75 years though, its no tlike i could keep my friends from school - they are in a different state on the other side of the country. i'v ehad trouble making friends - i have a few people who i see around, and i'll see them sometimes for lunch on the weekend or in the holidays. that's about it really. and i have my boyfriend, who i see all the time.

but he ALWAYS ALWAYS wants to go out. he can't NOT go out, so this means i have to go. i didnt want to tonight. i'm tired AND i have to get up at 6 tomorrow (SATURDAY!!!) morning! to go to work! first he said his friends are seeing amovie (which both of us DID NOT want to see) but he still thought he'd see it anyway. then he said do i want to see this other movie, but it was on too late for me (9.00, and i wouldnt get back really until 12 - wayyyy too late; i think i told him we would see it on sunday anyway, before this?) so i dont know what he ended up doing - if he went out at all. he either did nothing or went and saw the movie he didnt want to see with his friends. he would have gone out by himself - i know he just doenst do that; not even the movies (i can do it though...).

so not only do i NOT FEEL THE ENED to go out all the time, half the time i dont WANT TO and it doesnt strike me as something particularly relaxing. especially if i have to talk to people, especially if its small talk (something which i think someone in another thread in another forum on this site mentioned.....)


i think that last paragraph explained my point.

MAHHHHHH.... everything is too complicated and overwhelming i need to take a different class cause maybe it could transfer to a diff uni if i switch programs but i cant because it says i'll have a course overload but i can't drop another class b/c that class is wait list and what if i dont get in then my other one gets full WHAT DO I DO... AND HOW DHBAHJAHJ ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have little sympathy for you...sorry...i'm a jerk. I work 40+hrs a week at home depot and go to school full time-14 credits, have a demanding woman and ADD...GOD HELP ME!

MAHHHHHH.... everything is too complicated and overwhelming i need to take a different class cause maybe it could transfer to a diff uni if i switch programs but i cant because it says i'll have a course overload but i can't drop another class b/c that class is wait list and what if i dont get in then my other one gets full WHAT DO I DO... AND HOW DHBAHJAHJ ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How's it going?

Those kinds of decisions aren't easy. If you're like me you'll ruminate on them till no end -- and then when you settle for something before you know it you've changed your mind. :rolleyes:

And you keep thinking "What if I do...and then maybe....happens, so I should have done....instead.", and since you can't predict the future you could keep at it for ages.

What would you want to do if you could decide all for yourself, and didn't have to think about course overload or if classes get full or not?

Is there someone at uni who could give you some advice?

What says that you have a course overload? A computer system or a person? Maybe you could talk to someone about it and ask if it's possible that you take one course more.

I don't know about Canada, but here I know that even though you're supposed to take no more than 30 credits a semester, people sometimes take more. I don't really know how they arrange it though, I'm too new to uni.

If i knew i wouldent be posting this i would be getting laid.