View Full Version : clutter issues: is it just me?


takemeaway
07-13-05, 08:47 AM
I saw this on another post for non add folk, but I didn't want to butt in-but something made me think, it does bother me that other people, not me obviously, can come into a room, and clean it up in two minutes and leave as if nothing happenned, or that it was a normal process, my mind cannot fathom doing that, there is so much to do in a cluttered area, there is trash and clothes, papers, you name it, and then I can start something, and totally forget what I was doing, so how do you ever do that, just jump in, and like it is just normal, do it and go on, I think how much I could accomplish if I only had a brain like that. any advice is of course appreciated.

Pigeon
07-13-05, 09:17 AM
does it bother you that you can't do it, or that they do it to your stuff? cuz for me it's both. I wish I could do it. But when my mom tries to help by going in and organizing or tidying up it really gets me upset and she doesn't know why. But even though she's just being nice, it's embarrassing and another blow to my self essteem that I couldn't do it myself. My sister on the other hand works with me, she helps me but I never feel bad. So there is a way to do it by not feeling bad. She embraces me and my problems with cleaning and helps one at a time... with no expectations. I am lucky, if only everone had someone like that.

But for those who don't, I've posted it before, the only thing that gets me through is one thing at a time. Throw all the clothes out of the room first, finish them before going through the room with a big bag picking up all the paper. Once the stuff is off the floor I am more willing to organize and sort because there is inspiration. Granted it doesn't stay that way long, but for a glimpse of a moment, I can feel "normal".

takemeaway
07-13-05, 07:52 PM
For me, it is if I feel like it-I mean I have to feel right in order to do a good job, today was a good day, I was active, but I actually remembered what I had started, so that helps, that is great you have help, like someone who understands it is important to go slow and think it through instead of just putting it somewhere, if someone else came and did that with my stuff, I wouldn't know where it was when I needed it, or if I even had it-I have teenagers so they throw stuff everywhere., and don't have a rhyme or reason for what they do.

Do you go off of a list? Sometimes that helps me b/c I can see what I have accomplished and then it is clearer what I have to do, when it is all heaped together I get confused about where to start-it is too big for me.

Also I have learned to simplify-I am sloppy and careless with my stuff, I admit it-ashamedly-and plus it doesn't mean anything to me if it is all crumpled up-so I am changing things in that I won't buy it or keep it if I don't love it.

Hope that helps you, I am kind of hoping for help and to help if I can someone else. Good luck with all of that, you have a good start.

aneededchange
07-13-05, 08:44 PM
I saw this on another post for non add folk, but I didn't want to butt in-but something made me think, it does bother me that other people, not me obviously, can come into a room, and clean it up in two minutes and leave as if nothing happenned, or that it was a normal process, my mind cannot fathom doing that, there is so much to do in a cluttered area, there is trash and clothes, papers, you name it, and then I can start something, and totally forget what I was doing, so how do you ever do that, just jump in, and like it is just normal, do it and go on, I think how much I could accomplish if I only had a brain like that. any advice is of course appreciated.
My brain really does think differently than other people. So, for me, cleaning can be a very stressful and overwhelming event. Somedays are better than others for getting house work done.

I get embarassed easily when it comes to anyone helping me with cleaning up. I feel like they are either being noisy or just trying to proved to me how silly I am and that they can do it .... so why can't i?

Only thing that seems to help is (like takemeaway said) is making a list. I like to see what I am able to do in the first 15 mins of trying. I keep it simple. Here is an example list of ... lets just use the bathroom:


Clean the inside of the toilet
Clean the outside of the toilet
Pick up trash on counter
Sweep the floor
Mop the floor
Empty the trash
Replace the trash bag
Wipe down the mirror
Clean the sink
Wipe down the counter
Spray the Shower down with cleaner
Wipe down the shower
I know it looks long ... but I can do # 1,2,3,6,7,& 11 all in 15 mins ... and that gives me the motivation to complete the other half of the list. I don't know what it is ... but seening so much of the list crossed off after only 15 mins .... makes me feel really good.

I know ... I am a nerd ... but at least it works .... but only when I can get myself to make a list. :o :D

Best of luck!

meadd823
07-14-05, 01:52 AM
I like the questions does it bother you your stuff is the way it is???

I divide my stuff out differently. The list would be good if I had the ability to keep up with the bloomin list!!!!!

I clean what ever bothers me the most. Really if the dishes both me then I do them if not I don't. The only thing to me worse than dishes is large piles of dishes!!!!! So I usually do dishes every day.

I do my house work like this.

My trash day is Wednesday. On Tuesday evening I take the can to the street. Also on Tuesday evening before taking can to street I scan frig and chunk old food (okay container and all so I get the desposible containers), empty all ash trays, get rid if all empty containers, old news papers, junk mail, ect.....

Some days are "suck days" I vaccuum all the floors in the house, ,and suck all the spiders out of window seals, and out of corners.....if it is cleaned with a vacuum it gets cleaned if not it doesn't!!!!

I have dust days where I dust that is all I do I dust. I do not vaccuum or scrub just dust.

When it comes to toliets that is scub appliances day, Stove, microwave,sinks, bath tub, and toliet the toliet is last of coarse!!!!

That way some parts of of evey room are clean most days!!!!!!

It's just an off the wall idea!!!!!! That's how I do it, so if none of the others work here is some thing totally different

takemeaway
07-14-05, 09:37 AM
Mead823
I love your sense of humor, I love your quotes at the bottom, I think that is what gets me through sometimes, my ability to laugh at myself and how off the wall I can be sometimes-like a bad comedian, you know, but anyway-you have a plan,a method, and that is good, if you always follow through with it, then you have "beat the monster" I call it, because it can be so overwhelming, and choices-I don't do well with as in, where to start, and prioritize, what comes before what-

That is why I love flylady-she is add friendly-I need to see that I have done something, before it is even worth my time, if it isn't too dirty, then it isn't but there are some things that if you think about it should be done very regularly to prevent-there comes the rub-I don't want to prevent, I just want to do things fast and see that I have made progress, so that is why I let it build up-aha!! You see you have "beat the monster" good for you.

Nucking_Futs
07-15-05, 06:58 AM
When I started re-vamping my ADHD/OCD behaviour modifications I worked out a weekly graph chart that I can print off my computer at the beginning of every week and YES! print a new charts is on my list at the end of every week lmbo.

But, once you find a home for everything and become used to putting everything in its place instead of just setting wherever, however you can ignore a lot on your list.

My list is now mainly things like cleaning the toilets, sinks, appliances, carpets, bedding that sort of thing. Very short and very sweet just the way I like it because we have gotten very good at cleaning up after ourselves everyday it will generally take me about 2 hours to clean my house top to bottom. I focus on one room a day so I don't feel overwhelmed and get discouraged. I've found that if my list is too long and I can't complete everything on it I can't sleep so I try to keep it all short, sweet and to the point.

meadd823
07-15-05, 10:46 PM
Yes there are thing that have to be done daily or "frequently". My biggie used to be dishes. I HATE doing the dishes because ut seem the more you do the more there are to do!!!!

When younger I used to let themn build up. Maybe it was the conquor monster thing however with age it had become a time thing. I want drudgery to take as little of my time as possible!!!

Now I do dishes almost daily (it may help to know ther are only two adults in my home kids do make a huge difference) My partner does the cooking. Okay when the trash can gets full I do empty. The only "sure secret" is keeping it simple. If it aint simple it won't get done not in my life time any way. Easy is different for all!!!!!

prumont
07-17-05, 04:23 AM
You folks are all wayyyy more organised than me! My new year's resolution was to tidy up my study (any more than 1 room per year is a silly thought for me). It is July now & it is now possible to see the floor (hooray)! There is still stuff piled in the corner - but there are severeal months left to get this job finished.

As to letting other people clean up my mess - I now just let them do it. If it is important enough for them to use up their time doing I just let them fulfull their needs. If they want to pile some guilt on me to bad cos I'm not accepting it.

meadd823
07-19-05, 11:49 PM
there is so much to do in a cluttered area,

Maybe you have more stuff than places to put it. Too much stuff in too small of an area will make even a clean room look messy. I mean cabnits and shelves can help some but if the atic, basement, and every shelf, and closet is full then you have too much stuff.

The less stuff the less stuff there is to manage.

Gary is a pack rat from Hades. He brings so much stuff home it is every where. The city kind of "reminds" him when the front yard is too cluttered. The house I have to be the one to set the boundaries. No objects on living room funiture (couches are for sitting on NOT storage), if it doesn't fit in the front room (we have a spare room) the two storage areas outside one of two things must happen:

He must get rid of some thing of HIS to have what ever it is he wants

He has to con a freind into letting him store his "find" there!!!

Gary brought a nice desk home and asked if I wanted it. Okay I have wall to wall funiture literally. I looked at the desk and asked my self what would I be willing to get rid of to have this desk. My answer nothing!!! So no I didn't want it not because it wasn't a nice desk but I do not have room for it and am not willing to get rid of any thing I already own to obtain it!!!

If your clutter causes your house to feel more of an obstical coarse than a place of confort then it is time to have a gaurage sell or visit a donation drop off spot. If you have lagre items in pretty good shape or lots of stuff in decent condition some chardies will pick it up for you. I recomend calling around.

In my area we have a message board much like this one called freecycle. Where people post things they wish to get rid of. Others will read the post and contact you through the site. You arrange a time for THEM to pick it up!!!! Some times people will need some thing and post it. We got rid of a pick up camper shell, and 120 gallons of red wood stain on our free cycle WEB site.

Yahoo sponsers our group called Austin Freecycle!!!!!! Ayahoo search may prove useful as there are thousands of such groups through out the US and some oon Canada. Might be worth a look see!!!!

Just some thoughts!!! The subject was clutter wasn't it or did I post on the wrong thread AGAIN????

Six browersa latter PILL time!!!!

takemeaway
07-20-05, 07:57 AM
Thanks Tammy,

I think that helps and hopefully after 2 1/2 dumpsters and more trash than you can imagine, a rummage sale, and selling furniture like crazy- not to mention the mounds of trash bags the trash guys have to pick up from us every week, I have learned my lesson, we are moving to a smaller house than this one and actually would like to have people come over without me going for the Zanex (just kidding) I think it would be fun to entertain and actually be excited to have people, even family to spend the night. I have a GAry too-my husband, so I about freaked out when I read your post. Mine isn't so much of a packrat, only with sentimental stuff, You have to draw the line somewhere though, right? He is more of a people person, so he is really sort of resentful he hasn't been able to have people over, we are invited to other people's places so often, and his mom is a wonderful hostess, and just reeks hospitality so he grew up around it, and I want to be the same way, but its hard when you are stepping on stuff, tripping, and things are thrown everywhere, so you can't even sit down, yep things have to change. I get so overwhelmed so easily, so I think the best thing for me is just to have only what I use or love in a house, nothing more-

thanks you have helped me.
LORI

meadd823
07-20-05, 11:27 AM
For all those following this thread and want and de-junking option here is the Freecycle WEB site in which you can click on and check out to see if you have one in your area.

This isn't just a Texas thing, or even a U.S. thing these groups apparently are global!!!! :D

http://www.freecycle.org/display.php?region=US%20Southwest

antsylu
07-20-05, 12:04 PM
I don't do a thourough cleaning unless i'm having company or I simply cannot stand it anymore. I used to have problems doing a total house cleaning cuz I'd go from room to room putting things away and then get doing something in that room and forget what I was doing in the first room. I found myself standing in the middle of the room alot wondering what I was doing there.

I found it helps to focus on one room at a time. If something doesn't belong in that room I toss it into the next room and forget it. For example if I'm cleaning the the kitchen I'll toss what doesn't belong onto the dining room table to deal with it later. It's too stressful to me to do it all at once unless it's something like dusting.

meadd823
07-22-05, 04:35 PM
I'd go from room to room putting things away and then get doing something in that room and forget what I was doing in the first room. I found myself standing in the middle of the room alot wondering what I was doing there.

This happens to me when my Aderall wears off. I not only wander and wonder at home I'll do this at work!!!

Other people can tell when my meds wear off my the volume of my voice or expression on my face but the only way I know med is gone is when I find my self lost in my own home with not a clue as to where I was going or what I was going to do when I got there!!!

Medications help me remember I am doing house work!!!!! Otherwise I forget. I will start to clean the frig and find mysel at the library accross town looking for milk!!!!!

Shrinking Alice
08-06-05, 08:53 AM
Medications help me remember I am doing house work!!!!! Otherwise I forget. I will start to clean the frig and find mysel at the library accross town looking for milk!!!!!

YES!!!! This is me......with medicine I remember what I am suppossed to be doing......and it seems easier. I'm not in another location all together from where I started.
With out meds , clutter terrifies me--I can't approach it....it's as if I'll get lost in it....gobbled up & spit out. (half joking-half serious)

I am in awe of those who can walk in a room--sweep---pick up--put it in order just for no reason (like company coming) throughout their day---every day......and make it look so painless!!

meadd823
08-06-05, 03:32 PM
I am in awe of those who can walk in a room--sweep---pick up--put it in order just for no reason (like company coming) throughout their day---every day......and make it look so painless!!

The amount of clutter pain is directly equal to the nuber of children in house hold. Children seem to add to the clutter issues.

Some thing has to "bug" me for me to be able to "clean/fix" it. All my children are grown so it is just two ADHD adults. Gary has his "clutter zone" and I have mine. We are each responsible for our own clutter zones. When clutter becomes to large for zone then we know it is time to decrease the population of said junk and clutter.

His thing is magazines he will one day read, gadgets, and parts of things like cars tractors, and boats. Mine is projects, and pieces of projects, junk mail I will one day look at, books at various stages of being read!!!!

Kids do complicate clutter issues as they don't "zone" it well. Of coarse our clutter zones are not in plain sight with the exception of Gary's junk too large to fit through doors. That stuff lives out side till code enforcement lady comes by and tells him to decrease the clutter or pay a fine.

Some people call this stuff clutter I call it burgler deturents!!! I can't even walk through my yard after dark so some one trying to rob us would either break a leg trying to get through the junk to windows. Gary increases this challenge by moving the junk periodiacally. If they made it to the window and actually got it open they would suffer avalance induced head injuries from falling stuff that is leaning against window!!!!!!

If they made it into house past bull dog then they would have to dig through cr@p to find any thing of value and would probably be digging still when police arrive!!!!

srhtinker
08-12-05, 09:32 PM
That's why I get upset with my BF and roomate. I ask for a little help and they look at me stupid like I'm lazy. No, they don't relize that for me/us it is a very thought out process.I get in the mood to do it a certain way to make it fun but only makes it longer not to mention the distraction of something else that you just want to stop and do.Then I get terrified for the next chore after that in another room and wonder how long it would take before I have to stop again to start on another project.

nagamuffin
08-13-05, 06:24 PM
I am new to the idea of messaging. I have been married to my ADD/clutteraholic for 3 1/2 years.:eek: I am going crazy with clutter. I refuse to stop at yard sales because he will buy anything even though I would enjoy stopping to look. He drags stuff home from dumpsters. I have tried to be accomodating and bought him storage bins. He piles thinngs everywhere. Our apartment is small, cluttered, claustrophobic. He wants a bigger apart. I know that really means more places to put things.
I don't know how to deal with the clutter. We have a one book in two books out rule. For every new book that comes into the house one must leave. All that does is to encourage him to buy books and keep them at his business which is also cluttered beyond belief.
We never have company. I am ashamed to have anyone here. I end up throwing away my own items and books to try to have some semblance of order.
Websire for strategies? All complaints and suggestions go unheard. I have tried everything I can think of: new bride feathering nest for him, lists, clean up by timer, yelling, guilt trips...
Everytime I ask him to throw away something regardless of expiration date, out datedness etc results in a break your heart, you just asked him to slaughter his first-born look.
Desparate for help.

meadd823
08-14-05, 11:24 PM
You sound soooo much like me daughter also a fairly new bride. Marriage is difficult thing to adjust,living with a pack rat makes it more difficult. The only recomendation I can think of that will be any long term assistence is boundaries and with AD/HD men boundaries with consequences is must :D .

My exact words to my daughter were a bit harsh sounding but given with love and 41 years of living with ADD (my own)I'll repeat them to you with the same helpful intention:
"Honey you want to make it in this big bad world you must learn to have personal boundaries. Those boundaries are to include your husband and his behaviors. To avoid being a nagging wife you need to decide what you absolutely can not tolerate and what annoyances you are willing to live around/compromize on."

I can not tolerate lying cheating and the like, clutter is an annoyance I am willing to live with but my personal boundaries also include my personal space for my belongings.
Also hurting my self because I need to walk from my bed to the restroom is NOT some thing I am willing to tolerate. :mad:

Gary not only has clutter zones we have NO clutter areas. These NO clutter areas are some thing we have discussed and agreed to. Our no clutter areas included but are not limited to food prep areas, front of toliet, bath, or frig/food cabnits, front door and back door must be passable ect....

Gary is a pack rat from Hades which is why we can not do apartments. I endevor to cross as many things off my worry list as plausible therefore, I let the city of Georgetown and thier code enforcement personal take care of the clutter control in the front yard Code enforcement person is a nice lady who visits Gary regularly/ she has to be an often over-looked expert on dealing with ADD folks ;) There is one yard EXCEPTION!!!! I require a clear unobstructed path at least three feet wide between the front door and my parking place!!!!

Gary's stuff exceeds his "clutter zone" and invades my area I do with it as I please which for me is trash or out the front door depends on size. I have also placed unconfortable objects on his side of the bed and under pillow, in his shoes :eek: !!!!! I believe in creative reminders that a home is some thing one should be able to WALK through SAFELY!!! :soapbox:

The clutter at your husbands work, unless you also have to work in the same space that would be an item I would cross off my worry list. It is his work space there fore HIS problem!!!!!

Marmalade_man
09-08-05, 01:25 PM
Hi:

I suggest the book "ADD-FRIENDLY WAYS TO ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE" by Judith Kohlberg and Kathleen Nadeau, Brunner-Routledge, ISBN: 1583913580.

That book together with Ritalin has help me tremendously.:)

ADD did help me to be able to hyperfocus and and clean up and chuck things for 5 days straight in a "cleaning frenzy". However, the Ritalin helped me stick to it and finish the job.

I have freed myself from mountains of books I would never read or re-read, projects I would never finish or start and papers and other junk that I did not need. Many of the thing of value were donated to worthy causes.

With very few exceptions, if I haven't used something in the last year and won't use it in the next 6 months, I get rid of it now.

Cleaning up is relatively simple if you seriously get rid of the extra things you don't really need. Once you get things clean the techniques in the book help one organize your life and keep it that way. I was never able to do either before.

However, Ritalin allows me to stick to these tasks that I used to ignore because I hatted them. Now I can get them done quickly and easily.

Jaycee
09-10-05, 10:55 PM
Living in a perdominately ADHD household means our messes are a bit bigger than other households and some days the thought of cleaning overwhelms me to the point of being paralized to do anything about it.
I tend to clean in spurts. and only tackle one room at a time. The only problem with this is that the whole house is rarely clean.

I've learned to go at the kids room when their gone or asleep or I get too side tracked by what they are doing to get it done.

As for the dishes..uggg..my husband and 5 yr old do them most of the time. If it doesn't go into the dishwasher, I don't wash it.

Is it just me or does anyone else get seriously energized to clean at night an then can't sleep until it's done? I'll clean until 2 or 3 in the morning.

Marmalade_man
09-11-05, 12:06 AM
Basically I find with Ritalin, I can stick to the job at had.... no actually, I can hyperfocus on the job at hand, even when it is something I don't like to do like cleaning or dishes.

That is simply marvelous for me.

meadd823
09-11-05, 02:07 PM
Is it just me or does anyone else get seriously energized to clean at night an then can't sleep until it's done? I'll clean until 2 or 3 in the morning.


I was like this when I had children living at home because it was quieter and less chotic...who can focus on house work when children are running in and out, fighting, and messing things up faster than you can clean up!!!!! Not ADD common scense!!!!!!

fredonian
09-12-05, 05:48 AM
I myself have struggled with clutter problems for years and I still do, but I have managed to marginalize my problems somewhat with a few strategies. First I have developed a minimalist approach to the things that I have in my house. I'll start with my kitchen as an example. I use to have endless sets of glasses, dishes, bowls, coffee cups and flatware that always ended up becoming a big nasty pile in my kitchen sink that would stay for a week or two. I also use to have an endless set of kitchen tools and appliances that I always dreamed I would need, but hardly ever used any of them. They cluttered up my storage spaces and caused more frustration and confusion when I wanted to oragainze. With my new minimalist approach I gradually ousted a great deal of the stuff that I did not need or rarely used. I also cut my dished and glasses,coffee cups and flatware to sets of (4). I put the extras in boxes and put them away deep in the extra cabinet sapce that I created by dishing out the unneeded stuff. I made it inconvenient for me to get to them just so I wouldnt lazy out and start useing them, but couldn't throw them out for the sake of future dinner parties. My kitchen now looks sort of like the ones you see in a MODERN LIVING magaizine, and it is far more an ease for my eyes to glaze upon. It still gets messy from time to time but takes a lot less time to clean it up. As there is not near the crap to keep up with. As for the stuff that I dished out that I half dreaded getting rid of...once it was gone, I never missed it. I've employed this minimalist approach to almost all of my living spaces and the results have been similarly positive. My place get's messy still but it does not look NEARLY as bad as it use to. It's easier to clean too.

MY SECOND STRATEGY: Gourmet Coffee

When it comes time for me to try and clean up and tidy my house, I have learned that I have low mileage due to my ADD. I am only good to clean for no more than 1-2 hours tops. I have learned I can do a lot more if I get up early on the weekend (my off days) with a fresh mind and start cleaning FIRST THING after having a cup of fine coffee. So when I get up in the morning on my weekends, I grind up some of my finest gourmet coffee and make up a large pot. Let me explain why I say GOURMET COFFEE; I have learned that not all coffees are the same, and the pre ground crud you get from the major mass market brands are nothing compared to the premium gourmet roasted coffee beans that cost more. I find premium gourmet coffees to be the likes of liquid ritalin and they can spark up wonderful focusability and motivation. One can find these specialty beans either in the plexi glass bins located in the coffee isle at your grocery stores or at a gourmet coffee and espresso shop in your area. My favorite is Columbian Supremo by Millstone. I suggest anyone to give this a try. You will be surprised of the difference.

Best-

Charles

Jaycee
09-13-05, 01:28 AM
I used to work in a gift shope that had a tea room connected, and i have to agree about the gourmet coffee. Every afternoon at three we'd grind and brew as special pot just for us and it's like mainlining the caffiene, especially the darker roasts.

I also stay away from carbs before I have to do any major cleaning jobs and stock up on protien. I don't get so bored and sleepy (possibly why I clean until 3 AM).

meadd823
09-13-05, 10:28 PM
I find premium gourmet coffees to be the likes of liquid ritalin and they can spark up wonderful focusability and motivation.


I can see how this would be but if I tried this I would ned to have a cather as all that caffine would get me going all right going into the bathroom every two sedonds (lol)

You have an excelent point about the minimalist approach. The less stuff in your home the less there is to clean!!! Don't have to pick up what does not exist!!!!!

I do the room by room thing as I could stand doing house work on both my days off, although I do allocate one day off for chores I do not have time for during the week....I find if I keep things like the laundry, dishes,trash, and daily stuff picked up when I do clean I am not slowed down by having to do "daily chores" I have ben putting off for three days!!!!!!! I do dishes daily while Gary is on-line, I do one load of laundry a day, trash well is one Tuesdays trash day is Wednesday moring. Gary does trash the other days. I pick up my stuff and expect gary to do the same. I expected my kids to pick up things each evening..if they are two they can help pick up thier things....Hey I wasn't put on this planet to pick up after the world.....otherwise I wouldn't have ADD!!!!

davey
10-19-05, 04:30 PM
This is definitely something meds helps me with.

I just have to make sure I focus on cleaning and don't get sidetracked, or the meds will help me with something other than cleaning.

dbr2
10-20-05, 08:33 AM
4 things have helped me here: 1. I magine what the place will look like clean. Let yourself imagine also the good feeling you will have.

2. Don't beat yourself up to get motivated. I tel myself--either start cleaning or forget--but no guilt trips allowed here!

3. Give yourself credit for small accomplishments--it's not reasonable to expect to go from Oscar Madison to Felix Unger in an hour.

4. Remember that Howard Hughes was incapacitated by a need for cleanliness. even the virtue of cleanliness can become disabling.

NowI need to put these 4 into practice!

Regards,
DBR