Okay I need to vent and then I need some advice please....:mad:
I have worked at this company for almost 6 years. I have wanted to quit several times. I never did mainly because I'm afraid of change and not having security of a paycheck. Well, today was the last straw. The owner came in screaming, cussing and yelling about how no one around here is doing their f-ing job. He yelled at my boss in front of me and told her to "tell one of these girls to get their @** downstairs and answer the g.d. phones, they aren't too f-ing overworked!" He was yelling at her and pointing & looking at me. I work VERY hard for this company and have been promoted several times to a great position (but with a heavy workload). On a normal day I do my own job (which is really 2) and I'm back up for other women in the office. I was completely shocked he would curse and scream at me & at my boss. No one made a sound...no one moved. Along with ADD I also have panic attacks and anxiety. I went into panic mode.:eek: My heart was beating fast, my hands were shaking, I thought I was going to start crying...long story short I told my boss, sorry but I need to go. I cannot handle that ( Meaning being yelled at for no reason ), and I left. As soon as I started home I was balling, I wasn't sure if I just quit? Crap what did I just do?!? Well, the owner called this afternoon and apologized. (Like an abusive husband....oh, i just lost my temper it'll never happen agin, didn't meant it, blah blah blah.) I had decided to go back, but I would start to look for another job asap and then put in my notice. About 2 hours later my boss calls and she says she needs to think about if I can come back b/c I shouldn't have just left like that. She said she knows I'm on medication and stressed out and they shouldn't have to walk around on egg shells around me, afraid I might go over the edge. ME?!?! :confused: After what the owner pulled today? I felt I was in a hostile verbally abusive situation...I was literally scared of him, and I got myself out of it. Now I'm in trouble for it. I cannot believe she would turn it around on me like that AND blame me for being too stressed! I told her I will not tolerate working where I get screamed & cussed at like that. Do you think I should go to the Labor Board about this? Can I file for unemployment? I never want to go back, but I'm going in in the morning to get my things and turn in a resignation letter. I don't know how to handle this. I appreciate any advice. I don't hink she should have brought up my "medication" either - so out of line! What can I do now???
Thanks for the help!

Howdy BullInChinaShop:

Well, for one thing the owner wants you back and your boss wants you gone. If you wanted to stay on, I'd say his ace trumps her queen :).

But if you want to get out, I would say go for it as long as you are not going to end up homeless :). I personally have always made sure my ducks were in a row before quitting a job, but I probably wouldn't want to stay in that situation either.

From what you have told about all the work you do for that company, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't come crawling back to you!

Luckily my husband and I have some savings so we can pay our bills for about a month before having to start selling everything! Seriously, it pays good, but I just can't handle people exploding like that and I'm dissappointed in my boss for doubting MY ability to handle stress. I go away and calm down I don't wig out like he did, and she thinks I'm the unstable one! I wish I never told anyone at work about my anxiety...feels like I just gave them something to use against me.

Even if they did beg me to come back it would always feel weird after this. I had no idea they think they needed to "walk on egg shells around me"! I'm pretty mellow on my medicine really. And I'm the most non-confrontational person ever! Fight or flight - I'm flying outta there! Maybe that's why...I'm a little too quiet! It's kind of funny when I think about it like that!

You sound like you are in a job situation that is very uncomfortable for you. Personally I would not and could not stay in a position like that. Anywhere that made me uncomfortable in any way would be unacceptable for me. I think do have some rights when it comes to taking this to higher grounds, above the boss's boss... just make sure it's worth your sanity, lol... I would file for unemployment unless you want another job right away, but it sounds like you have a legit reason to collect... just some thoughts from an unemployed girl herself, lol...

Best of luck!
Pigeon

Hello Bull -

Wow my heart goes out to you. I strongly suggest for you to get out as soon as possible, but for now if your still at work try to save every penny you earn so you'll have something to get by.

I really understand what your going thru, I too have been in a similar situation. My former boss was a tyrant, he would yell very violent starting from 9 am til 7 pm, with only lunch time out, and upon returning from lunch, he would start up and wouldn't finish until the day's end. At first, I tolerate and laughed it out, but as time went by I couldn't. The office environment became so hostile. The boss screaming, then the boss and manager screaming at eachother, then the boss screaming at us, however I will admit he didn't scream at me for some unknown reason. Then I would hear objects being thrown between the manager and the boss in the boss' office, and then came a situation where the boss was almost going to hit one of my coworker. That is when I changed, I had to run out of the office that day running to the elevator to get out of the building and everyone in other offices came out asking if I was alright. The manager, well she locked herself up in her office, my friend (coworker) locked herself in the kitchen. Someone from another office down the hall, called security. I could no longer handle his burst of violence, that I began to shake and then later, I would go to the restroom and throw up. Once I was laid off, which was a blessing, for I was already preparing to leave anyway, I became so ill. It was like my body was in shock of having to try to be in a relax mode or something. Too much stress was gradually being alleviated.

My time spent there took its toll with my physical body. Please don't sit around, you must consider your mental & physical health also, not just the pocketbook. I stick around because I needed to pay bills, but in return for what? My Health.

Bull please keep in touch and let us know how your doing. Keeping you in my prayers. I pray that things will come out fine. I know it will. I hope you find another job fast, a job that you will love and get the respect your deserve.

Bye

Berf

I'd check into your rights first.

I'm not by any means saying you should stay but I'd definatly look into whether or not you have the right to report an abuse of your individual rights within the work enviroment.

I recently had to file for unemployment and one of the main questions was why I left my job and did I feel my rights were abused. Make use of that section and make sure you don't leave anything out.

Here are some links I thought might be helpful.

www.bu.edu/sarpsych/jobschool/




www.depression-screening.org.

If you quit in most states you won't be able to claim unemployment. It might be better to hang around long enough to get fired. The fact that your boss brought up the mediciation is a no no. Have you thought about filing a complaint against the boss under the American with Disabilities Act of 1991?
Keep us posted and good luck

I'm not sure about that Johna. I quit and was able to get unemployment though I had to wait two weeks before my first payment. But, then my boss broke contract concerning my payscale do you think that changed the rules for me or maybe Nebraska is a little more lenient.

I'd definatly look into it and think about Johna's post it has a lot of useful information.

Sounds like the boss needs some education. And she's avoiding her responsibilities. If she felt you needed special care and handling she should have been working with you on that already and would know better by now. Maybe she has some preconceptions that need ejection.

Sounds like the owner needs to manage his anger better, and remember office etiquette. The boss's behaviour was definitely unacceptable.

If you want to go back to the job, which you thought was terrific, right? Then have a talk with the owner and be candid that your boss said she wasn't sure she wanted you back.

Its worth a try anyway, especially if you LIKE the job!!!

Sounds normal to me, if you work at a small privately owned business, your going to expect yelling & screaming, I'm a manager of 2, & I get screamed at everything that happens in the office, I mean cursing, humiliating, & much more, I'm a person who can't take stuff like that & would react, but I keep myself undercontrol with marijuana, If I come to work one day without smoking weed, all hell will break loose. Believe me, I have it worst, my boss doesn't even let people leave work on time, even if you have doctor's appointment.

T-Bass

Sounds normal to me, sUh, no. That behavior is thoroughly unprofessional, and that doesn't change because you have one employee instead of 5000. It may be typical where you are now, but that doesn't excuse it.

I agree i have worked for quite a few small businesses and companies--not a single one had an even close to this type of person there... there may be intense confrontations behind closed doors, or after hours among managers or investors or owners (as I know it does) but it shout never involve or even be seen by the employees... small business or not, this behavior is not to be tolerated and has grounds for a legal case--especially since YOU have been personally violated... as for collecting unemplyment if you are fired... under the circomstances you would be able to claim them I'm sure...

T-Bass with all do respect but you smoke POT, than go to work...are you NUTS!!
Do you realized that if you get hurt on the job, it's possible workman comp won't pay for it especially if they do a blood test and find pot in your system.
Instead of smoking pot to control yourself at work , why don't you find another job.
Ok that was my 2 cents worth :)

T-Bass with all do respect but you smoke POT, than go to work...are you NUTS!!
Do you realized that if you get hurt on the job, it's possible workman comp won't pay for it especially if they do a blood test and find pot in your system.
Instead of smoking pot to control yourself at work , why don't you find another job.
Ok that was my 2 cents worth :)

I would hurt myself if I don't smoke pot lol, believe me I tried everything, everytime I start a new job, I don't need to smoke at work, once I master it, I go crazy, beacause most companies or jobs doesn't give me a challenge, & the jobs that are, I can't get.

I went 24 years of my life not doing anything, I'm 28 now, been a drug addict for 4 years, tried to quit, couldn't happen, I now moderate myself, weed is my choice, it keeps me away from other hard core drugs I tried first before weed.

btw I'm bi-polar & ADHD, all my doctors know I smoke, & they tell me to quit, but since they know the life I lived, & got to know me better, they just tell me to cut down, I smoke from the morning I wake up, to the second I sleep.

T-

BullInChinaShop,

Knowing what you know now, will you disclose that you take medications to your next boss?

okay T sorry for the lecture :) just becareful ok

Well, I quit. I went in Friday at my normal time (neither my boss nor the owner was there), I took a bag with me, packed up my things and said goodbye to the few people who were in the office. Everyone was shocked I was quitting. I was known as a push-over pretty much. And I guess everyone assumed I would just take it (they do, right?!). I left a letter to my boss and the owner telling them I didn't leave a formal resignation because I wasn't putting in a 2 weeks notice. I would have like to give notice & train a replacement, but under the circumstances I didn't feel comfortable doing that. I wished them the best and told them I would like to still be able to use them as a reference (I was at this job for 6 years - before that I just had summer jobs between semesters at school & I need the reference to show my experience). My boss actually told me they would miss me and that sure I could use them as a reference! Really?!?! Because the last time we talked she wanted to fire me! I guess they wanted me to beg to come back, but I know they would have used me until they found a replacement and after what happened I didn't feel like doing them any favors.

I read about how to file a complaint against them, I'm not sure if I will. Even with all this I still don't want to cause them problems. I guess I would rather leave and have them know what a good employee they lost. It really isn't like me to do anything spiteful, although I know I have every right to - given that they created a hostile work environment, and wanted to fire me based on my wanting to leave what I felt was a threatening situation AND my boss brought up my being on medication and felt I shouldn't come back because with my anxiety I can't handle stress. Medication or not, anxiety and panic or not - I should NEVER have been put in that situation, no one should. And I shouldn't be expected to HANDLE IT!

I am currently looking for another job. Posting my resume and going to temp. agency on Monday. My husband and I have been very good at preparing for a situation where we would need extra money (THANK YOU DAVE RAMSEY!) so we are set. I will go back to work a.s.a.p. though, just because I feel pretty worthless being unemployed ( if I had kids or I was injured I would feel good about it).

I DO NOT think I will tell my next employer about my medication, ADD, anxiety, panic - any of that. I do not feel these things affect the quality of my work when I am on my medication. It is so hurtful to tell someone something so personal and have it thrown back at you like my boss did. I learned in high school to not tell people about my ADD, because inevitably I would hear "Did you take you medicine today?!" Or some other smart @$$ comment like that. I guess I thought we were all adults and she would be more considerate than that. I thought wrong.

Have you told your boss you are on meds? What do they say if you did? Do you feel they treat you different because of it?

Thank you all for the advice and the prayers and good thoughts. I really appreciate it - you have no idea how much! I think maybe I'm just meant to be somewhere else, somewhere better!

I DO NOT think I will tell my next employer about my medication, ADD, anxiety, panic - any of that. I do not feel these things affect the quality of my work when I am on my medication.
To bigger and better things in your future! :cool:

BullInChinaShop_

Wow, I wish I had seen this earlier. I have been in that situation so many times!
I hope that your next position is much better, unfortunately this type of behavior is becoming the norm instead of the exception.

I have decided to never tell a new employer up front about my ADD, because apparently, like you, the way my brain functions allows me to be a superior employee. It isn't until the abusive behavior starts to take place that the anxiety causes my extra smart and special brain to go berzerk. I have lost 5 positions for this reason.

Most of the rest of the country is entitled to a "non-hostile work environment" as required by federal regulation, however we in Tennessee do not have this luxury. For instance the episode you mentioned would not be actionable here. I know because my sister in law had this and more happen and 6 labor attorneys said she had no case. I don't know how Oklahoma handles this.

But....... I do know for certain that both you and I could require our employers to make certain that our workplace is free from hostility under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). There would be nothing cost prohibitive about this for any employer, and excessive cost is practically the only reason that an employer can be excused from complying with the ADA.

As far as disclosure up front, such as addressing the question "would you require any special considerations in order to perform a particular job function?" No, I absolutely do not. I expect basic professionalism at any company that I go to work for. If the company chooses to allow hostile and abusive behavior it will cause me to suffer from anxiety. As far as I'm concerned this makes it their problem to deal with_ not mine. If that means most of my coworkers or managers feel they have to "walk on eggshells" around me then that is also their problem. THEY MUST MUST MUST be more professional themselves. Afterall, I don't scream at them. Therefore anxiety is my disability, not ADD.
Lastly and MOST important, this must all be handled with extreme tact :faint: and pre-planned precautions, skills most of us are lacking in, but I've reached a point where I know I can handle it. One of my better points is learning from my mistakes.

I wish you the best!

How did it go with the temp agency?

I find that I like working for a temp agency more myself. Our insurance and such are thru my husband so I don't have to worry about that right now. My boss rolls hours back when I ask so I have PTO and I make more money so I don't have to work as many hours. Not to mention the fact that I pick my hours and I don't have to work anywhere I've worked before with a bad experiance.