I just took my first year of college, the entire year of ten courses now finished. I have to say that out of all my school years, this one was the worst. I like it better than elementary school and highschool becuase it is different but from the actual work and classtime I cant ever recall such stress in my entire life.

I am so frusterated by it that I can't even sit in the same place as anyone having a conversation about school and if someone tries to talk to me about it I ask them to stop. I feel like crying every time I think that it is only one month more before I have to go back.

I just can't take it. I can't sit still, I can't focus in class, I can't make myself read the material or do the assignments even when it interests me. I just can't. I feel like a failure and sitting still for several hours at a time is extremely painful. I get mentally exhausted by every class, no matter how brief or interesting. I now get this awful feeling of depression, frusteration and hatred when I walk through the school doors.

Why is school so hard for me right now? I wish so much I didn't have to go back but I can't let myself give in!

I think I need a hug.

Awww... {{wheresmykeys}}. Can you reduce your course load? I'm about to start the third part of my certification and I'm having some of the same thoughts, but if you can take fewer classes, that might reduce some of the pressure.

Umm, suggestions. Taking notes helped me focus on what the teacher was saying during lectures, though I noticed that if I let myself stop I would drift off.

Reading is horrible, but my husband taught me this trick: for most instructional/scholarly writing, the first sentence of each paragraph is the paragraph's main point, and the rest of the paragraph just expands on that point. So if you understand the first sentence, you don't have to read the whole paragraph! I love this trick, because if I only read the first sentence I finish the chapter quickly but I still basically know where everything is. Then when I have to answer the study-questions, I go back over that part of the chapter and read more in-depth. Oh, and if I really can't focus, sometimes reading aloud helps. Makes me feel silly, but it does work.

I think you need to get up every hour and walk a little or stretch or something. I mean not just you - people. Everybody. If you have a class that takes more than an hour, perhaps you can explain to the teacher that it hurts to be confined for so long, and you need to move every hour.

Yoga might also help. Deep breathing. Relaxation tricks. Asking peers about coping strategies, and seeing if your school has some accommodations for ADD students... and maybe seeing an advisor or counselor of some kind. Your post sounds full of general frustration. If you can pinpoint what is so stressful, maybe you can come up with some simple steps to counteract it. A bit.

Good luck, anyway. I know it's hard, but respect for not letting yourself give in. That's a really good attitude.

wheresmykeys, were you able to find out where you can get an assessment for ADHD?

I just can't take it. I can't sit still, I can't focus in class, ...


Do your professors mind walking out during class? Are you given breaks at regular intervals? If you do leave, take a walk. Don't just stand or sit still. I actually use a related technique at work. At lunch time, I drive down rarely traveled roads at somewhat high (but not rediculously high) rates of speed. This tend to help calm me down if I am in a rut.


I can't make myself read the material or do the assignments even when it interests me. I just can't. I feel like a failure and sitting still for several hours at a time is extremely painful.


I agree with alala on the reading trick. I've been doing this subconciously for quite some time.

Are the courses you are taking just somewhat interesting, or are they extremely interesting? I sometimes think I made a mistake, but instead of following the typical path of fulfilling my GenEd requirement early, I started by taking half GenEd and half CS courses in order to try to keep myself somewhat motivated. For me, it didn't work very well because the CS courses were totally disorganized and boring.

It sounds like you are extremely demotivated. I stopped going to school a few semesters ago, and I think my motivation is returning a bit. I think if you want to stop and think, now is the time to do it. You only have 10 credits, not like the 80 I have now after I stopped going to college. I'm not making a recommendation either way on this, but if you want to go, plan on following through. If you do stop and think, maybe you could work on looking into ADHD treatment.

Thats the thing though, I am motivated..well, depends on how you look at it. I know where im going to take my education and I nwat to learn it, but school is just impossible.

I am taking a lighter course load, and every course is one that interests me. I also do get up frequently during classes and take walks/runs/drives...whatever I need.

I do take notes in class, always. I have more thorough and organized notes than most people. I can write, and I can copy, and I can even listen to take notes...but nothing stays in. I can be half asleep and still taking good notes! Its like I reserve a corner of my brain for whats going on in class and the rest is off somewhere else, the larger more dominant portion. I can focus just enough to take the notes, but just becuase Im writing doesnt mean I know WHAT it is Im writing. I have great notes, but what do they say?


I am definitely going to use that reading strategy, that will help SO much. I can't read because 1) my mind isnt on the words anyway..like I can write and not know what im writing, i can read and not know what im reading. I think my head is just too in the clouds. 2) give me 5 minutes and im asleep. no joke, I cant stay awake while reading. I can get up from a really good nights sleep, be full of energy, pick up a book and fall back asleep. I countered this a bit with 20 minute power naps(i find they work so well) but if it takes 20 mins to be reengergized, and 5 minutes to be out like a light..it doesnt get a lot done.

I think Im going to get diagnosed this semester. I don't think I can fake my way through another one. Its getting worse and worse..last semester I took a course where i of course zoned out during class, and I didnt ONCE open the text book. Ok, well I did but I fell asleep and any that did get read didnt stick around long so I might as well have locked in away in a drawer and forgot about it. Believe it or not, I got a high B in that class. and yes, I do have a list of a few names of people I can go to.

Has anyone else had such an experience where they just COUDLNT do school?

There was an interesting segment on NPR titled Dealing with ADHD As an Adult (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4749372). In it, Robert Jergen talks about how he did well in school by basically going full tilt instead of going too light. I can almost see his point, because the easier/more boring something is for me, the worse I tend to perform. It's an interesting segment, also featuring Hallowell.

One thing I used to do in college: I'd study like four or five subjects at a time. I'd study one subject for about 15 minutes (until I started to get bored), then move on to the next one. I would also try to study in many different settings, outdoors when possible.

Finally, if I had enough privacy I would let out a primal scream every once in a while. That always made me feel better. :)

Thats the thing though, I am motivated..well, depends on how you look at it. I know where im going to take my education and I nwat to learn it, but school is just impossible.


Well, I guess I have a hard time discerning from being motivated and being obsessed. Motivation for me requires near obsession. It seems that you are motivated if you are taking notes in class.


I do take notes in class, always. I have more thorough and organized notes than most people. I can write, and I can copy, and I can even listen to take notes...but nothing stays in. I can be half asleep and still taking good notes! Its like I reserve a corner of my brain for whats going on in class and the rest is off somewhere else, the larger more dominant portion. I can focus just enough to take the notes, but just becuase Im writing doesnt mean I know WHAT it is Im writing. I have great notes, but what do they say?


What is the purpose of your note taking? Is it an effort to stay attentive, or is it a study habit?

The note taking that you are doing is probably most beneficial in a class that requires you to remember a collection of weakly connected facts and details (i.e. history). In any other class (especially math courses), going to class and taking notes in this manner isn't probably very helpful (maybe nice as a reference, but doesn't help understanding very well) because what is happening in class isn't being processed very well. These courses will require time outside class to learn if one isn't very attentive inside class.

The issue of in-class rentention may be a large or small issue depending on the nature of the course. I can't honestly think of a time where I have ever remembered very much from a class through passive means only (listening, taking notes in the way you describe). In classes that require tests of knowedge at infrequent, regular intervals, you at least have the opportunity to study (cram) at the last minute.

The most important thing I've learned is that I cannot expect to learn anything inside class. The second most important thing is that I can't expect to learn anything from the assigned textbook. I like to find alternative resources (like the Internet) to learn about a subject. If I have to read an entire book for an assignment, I will find a summary on the Internet about the book before reading it, if I read it at all. I've written papers on books based on summary text alone, earning high scores.

wheresmykeys -

I feel for you. When I was in college (undiagnosed for the first 3 years and unaware that ADD was assisting me in my not functioning so well in college)
I took good notes in class and I would study and study and study - but I couldn't retain a thing. I was so frustrated, I stopped studying, i couldn't deal with school.

The summer before my senior year - I didn't want to go back to school. I also knew something was going on with me (plus, some other issues I knew about)
So, I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed depression and ADD. With some hesitation I went on meds.

During my high school and first 3 years of college, I definitely developed coping skills for my ADD, but I could not find one to help me cope with school. This is why I went on Adderall.

That was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Adderall completely changed my life. I could stay awake in classes, completely focus (even in the "fish-bowl" classes - an entire side of my classroom was windows - top to bottom and they happened to be where the entrance to the building was), and the hours I studied dropped by half and my grades dramatically increased. I actually retained the information!!

I am, now, in a program working towards my masters. I don't enjoy relying on a med - but there is no way I could be in this program without it.

I hope you go get diagnosed soon and think about the med option.

Best wishes, wheresmykeys!!

Many earnest hugs!!!!!!

Seriously, do try to take fewer courses. In fact, if you must, some of my friends have taken one course per semester, and one of my cousins did her entire degree that way.

Our world looks very kindly on people with paper, so my advice is try to make a situation that will work for you. You will not regret it in the long run if you can stick it out, because having some accreditation in something will always give people a feeling of confidence when you are looking for a job or career change.

I say, do it however you can, pride aside, in the end noone will care how you got it done, only that you did it.

Meds, coaches, lighter load, extensions for papers, any and all.

Don't give up if you love the subject.

cs

Actually I'd say the note taking is more of an obsession.. If Im not getting the notes I feel paranoid I missed a point. Its just one of my quirks.. They have to be neat too, and perfectly organized. They are often colour coded, always written wth perfect writing, and clearly spaced, lined, ordered.. If they aren't, I rewrite them. I think you could almost call it talent that I can put so much into them and not even know what they say.

Studying outside of class is easier for me than in, but it is still impossible. I do try to find many different settings because what is required for me to study changes like the weather. Sometimes I need noise, sometimes music, sometimes quiet, sometimes I have to be inside either messy or clean, sometimes outside, sometimes a library..its random, really. Still its hard to focus, even in the perfect settings.

I do cram before tests and that is the only way I can study becuase I get very worried I wont be able to answer things, but cramming only allows so much retained information and theres only time so study so much material. Cramming in the very last minutes has always gotten me the most right answers..tests are evil no matter how much preparation Ive had. Might be test anxiety, I don't know.

And I don't know how I'd live without summaries. I did a fiction course last semester and I had to read about 5 novels...I read a summary of one and guessed my way through the rest. I did ok, I guess.

I take pyschology courses and Ive done some english as well. Notes are important for those classes, esp. psyc.

I'm inattentive(or maybe combined, im not diagnosed yet) but I can't sit still! I get very very tense when I sit for a long time, esp. in a school setting but everywhere. I dont know why that is, but do any of you other inattentives have a really hard time staying seated in class??

wheresmykeys,

your note taking sounds similar to the note writing advice that I read somewhere in my university days. perhaps while you were rewriting them and so on, the information actually got soaked in which helped with your exams?? I fyou think so, maybe that's some extra advice on how to study.

I'm non ADD but never got the hang of formal studying for the final exam, as my method of studying was actually just cramming. I could never cram enough for the finals so I had trouble with all of them.

I shudder just thinking how clean the place was when I should have been studying.

wheresmykeys

*big hugs to you*

I went through undergrad and graduate school. It was not easy. In fact, I think it is hard for most people, but a tad harder for me. There were times when I was feeling very tired of it all and felt that it was never going to end and I would never complete my education.

All I can say is that it helps to relax and try to adapt. Talk about it with your classmates, your friends, or your doctor. I think you will find that many people sometimes have a hard time of it in college too. I can recall some quarters where I found it so very hard to stay motiovated, and it al lseemed impossible to manage. Somehow I found whatever it was that I needed to get through it.

For me, events like spouse troubles, money troubles, sick relatives piling on top of homework deadlines, class schedules, and exams often really conspired to make my life very stressful. After a while I learned to surf that landscape and get through it all. You just have to bend and not break, and just hang in there... Those who complete are those who complete.

If misery loves company you should find some solace in knowing that college can be hard for anyone. My memories of it are still vivid today.

All I can say is that it is doable, so hang in there and adapt as best you can. :)

I feel like my encouragement is so inadequate, but it is all I can offer you. It is your life and the landscape you live on is uniquely yours, so good luck , and don't forget to have some fun along the way. :p

Me :D





I just took my first year of college, the entire year of ten courses now finished. I have to say that out of all my school years, this one was the worst. I like it better than elementary school and highschool becuase it is different but from the actual work and classtime I cant ever recall such stress in my entire life.

I am so frusterated by it that I can't even sit in the same place as anyone having a conversation about school and if someone tries to talk to me about it I ask them to stop. I feel like crying every time I think that it is only one month more before I have to go back.

I just can't take it. I can't sit still, I can't focus in class, I can't make myself read the material or do the assignments even when it interests me. I just can't. I feel like a failure and sitting still for several hours at a time is extremely painful. I get mentally exhausted by every class, no matter how brief or interesting. I now get this awful feeling of depression, frusteration and hatred when I walk through the school doors.

Why is school so hard for me right now? I wish so much I didn't have to go back but I can't let myself give in!

I think I need a hug.

Get DXED and get on some meds, it will make a world of a difference!

Thanks speedo, I really appreciate your encouragment.

Casper, I'm working on that!!

I haven't given up but it does get a little hard somtimes...

Oh yah.. it is not easy. if it were easy you could get a diploma from a bubblegum machine. :p

Me :D

You haven't made it this far without earning it, and being smart enough to handle it.

I have to remind myself too sometimes.

Thats the thing though, I am motivated..well, depends on how you look at it. I know where im going to take my education and I nwat to learn it, but school is just impossible.

I am taking a lighter course load, and every course is one that interests me. I also do get up frequently during classes and take walks/runs/drives...whatever I need.

I do take notes in class, always. I have more thorough and organized notes than most people. I can write, and I can copy, and I can even listen to take notes...but nothing stays in. I can be half asleep and still taking good notes! Its like I reserve a corner of my brain for whats going on in class and the rest is off somewhere else, the larger more dominant portion. I can focus just enough to take the notes, but just becuase Im writing doesnt mean I know WHAT it is Im writing. I have great notes, but what do they say?


I am definitely going to use that reading strategy, that will help SO much. I can't read because 1) my mind isnt on the words anyway..like I can write and not know what im writing, i can read and not know what im reading. I think my head is just too in the clouds. 2) give me 5 minutes and im asleep. no joke, I cant stay awake while reading. I can get up from a really good nights sleep, be full of energy, pick up a book and fall back asleep. I countered this a bit with 20 minute power naps(i find they work so well) but if it takes 20 mins to be reengergized, and 5 minutes to be out like a light..it doesnt get a lot done.

I think Im going to get diagnosed this semester. I don't think I can fake my way through another one. Its getting worse and worse..last semester I took a course where i of course zoned out during class, and I didnt ONCE open the text book. Ok, well I did but I fell asleep and any that did get read didnt stick around long so I might as well have locked in away in a drawer and forgot about it. Believe it or not, I got a high B in that class. and yes, I do have a list of a few names of people I can go to.

Has anyone else had such an experience where they just COUDLNT do school?
Get diagnosed so you can have a doctor prescribe you something. Seriously, I used to have SO MUCH trouble with the falling asleep thing...not only did I fall asleep while reading, I'd fall asleep at redlights while driving! I'm not sure what your situation is, but it sounds like you have ADHD without hyperactivity like I do. A lot of people with ADHD without the hyperactivity are borderline narcoleptics. See if you can get a diagnosis and have a doctor prescribe you Adderall, they prescribe that for people with ADHD as well as narcolepsy.

I'm sure I probably sound like an amphetamine addict to some of you, but seriously, most of the time if you get put on medication, that takes care of about 80% of the problem. I'm not saying everything will be perfect after you start taking medication regularly; on the contrary, a bunch of things will crop up that you weren't aware of pre-diagnosis. But that's ok, because most of those things can be resolved. Anyway, my point is, you probably sometimes feel like you're no better off than some illiterate person who was never taught how to read. I know I did before I was diagnosed. Good luck, hope everything works out.